The show. Thanks for watching at home. Thanks for coming to my work. Very kind, i appreciate it. Remember like remember like four days ago when we were all worried about north korea . What happened to that . [ laughter ] those were simpler times. Im glad youre here. Im glad im here. Theres so much trumpiness going on right now. Its hard to keep up. But tonight President Trump gave his first tv interview since he fired the director of the fbi on tuesday. You know, one of the reasons theyre giving for that firing is that trump said james comey lost the trust of rank and file fbi agents. And today the acting head of the fbi, andrew mccabe, flatly contradicted that. He said the vast majority of agents hold a deep positive connection to director comey. So hes fired too then, right . [ laughter ] everybodys fired. I think the strategist thing about how all this went down is that trump fired james comey b he had a letter delivered to his office at the fbi. He didnt even say youre fired, which is his catch phrase. [ laughter ] you know what its like . It would be like Arnold Schwarzenegger leaving a party and just going, see ya. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so tonight its disappointing. Tonight donald trump sat down with lester holt of nbc news and shed light on his claim that on three separate occasions, director comey assured him he was not under investigation. And during the phone call he said it. Then during another phone call he said it. He said it once at dinner, then he said it twice during phone calls. Did you call him . In one case i called hill, in one case he called me. Did you ask him, am i under investigation . I actually asked him, yes. I said, if its possible will you let me know, am i under investigation . He said, you are not under investigation. Jimmy okay, good, youre fired, then. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] no way , it did not happen anything like that i guarantee that. Trump did an interview with the economist which came out today in which he claims to have invented the phrase priming the pump. For real. He said he came up with it, you can read this, this is true, he said he came up with it a couple of days ago and he thought it was good. Hes right it is good. The phrase priming the pump has been around since the early 1930s. Heres the thing. Everyone is very focused on the comey firing and whether trumps people colluded with the russians and all that is important, it is. But i think this is even more important. Because forget everything politically, forget everything you believe for a minute, forget whether youre a democrat or republican. Just clear your mind and ask yourself, what kind of a person thinks he came up with the phrase priming the pump . [ cheers and applause ] i mean, who yeah, thought of that. Only a crazy person. Every sane englishspeaking person knows, unless donald trump is secretly 120 years old, he didnt come up with priming the pump. Thats a red flag for a mental disorder. Even melania was like, you didnt write that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its funny, every time donald trump does Something Like this, people go, is he crazy . Or is he crazy like a fox . Well, im here to tell you theres no fox. [ laughter ] its just all crazy. I have proof, too. [ cheers and applause ] i have this is an exclusive, i have physical evidence that he is insane. If donald trump were sane, would he be selling lgbtq for trump tshirts on donaldjtrump. Com . We finally found it, the leastpopular shirt on the planet earth. Thats not a tshirt, thats a cry for help. [ laughter ] i ordered two of them by the way. [ cheers and applause ] President Trumps Approval Rating has sunk to nearhistoric lows. According to a new quinnipiac poll his Approval Rating is down to 36 . If it gets down to the 20s he might start dating it. [ laughter ] hey, this is something. For those who werent watching cspan2 this afternoon like i was, heres senator bill cassidy of louisiana. Were going to have insurance for everybody. There was a philosophy that if. You cant pay for it, you dont get it. Thats not going to happen with us. So the jimmy kimmel test,fy can put this back up. Is that were going to protect those with preexisting conditions but we will do it by lowering premiums, not by giving crummy coverage, rather by having adequate coverage. So if youre approach passes the kimmel test, then we feel like it is a way to go. Jimmy ive never felt more [ cheers and applause ] i left side dreamed that one day i would make it to an easel on cspan2. [ laughter ] what do they have on cspan 1 today . College graduation season is in full swing. This is a time of year when schools will try to book famous people to speak at their commencement ceremonies. Joe biden will be speaking at cornell. Harvard booked mark zuckerberg. Nyu landed fa legal. The students at bethune cookman, historically black college, got a speech from new secretary of education betsy devos. That went over as well as you might expect they did. There were so many boos betsy thought the auditorium was haunted. Dr. Jackson, board of trus e trustees, thank you so very, very much for this great honor and privilege i am honored to become a wildcat. [ audience booing ] and its a real honor and privilege to be with you if this behavior continues, your degrees will be mailed to you. Jimmy thats not much of a threat, is it . [ laughter ] if you continue your misbehavior you will not be allowed to sit here the next three hours while we read everybodys names in alphabetical order. Whoever booked her to speaks loves betsy devos or hates betsy deboss. President trump is scheduled to speak for graduations at Liberty University and coast guard academy. For those colleges he wont be able to get to in person we put something together, an of bigly importance from the president of the United States. Thank you. Now in a certain way, the hard work begins. Im asking you to dream big. There are a lot of people down there going to be successful. Do you guys want to be successful or dont you care . Always be around unsuccessful people, because everybody will respect you. Do you understand that . I think its really important, if somebody screws you, screw them back in spades. The other thing i tell people, because in new york its like a total catastrophe. Its an epidemic. I always say, always have a prenuptial agreement. But i wont say that because you people dont get divorced, right . To get the press, read the internet, study other things. Dont go for the mainstream media. Go home and get a job. Go home, get a job. I love you very much. The American Dream is dead. Goodbye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ray of sunshine. So the future is bright. And now we carry on a loved tradition around here, its thursday night, its time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. It is this week in unnecessary censorship. This is a cbs news special report. President trump has just [ bleep ]ed the director of the fbi. A president of the United States who has made it very clear he does not give a [ bleep ]. Mr. Mccann asked me whether or not general flynn should be [ bleep ]ed and i told him that wasnt our call. You asked yourself why wouldnt you [ bleep ] a guy . A Coalition Group called [ bleep ], [ bleep ] is targeting twos do house republicans. Youve [ bleep ]ed a horse or two. I have [ bleep ]ed a horse or two. I looked down and i had a little [ bleep ]. Lovely little [ bleep ]. I enjoy being in my own house. I have been [ bleep ]ing michelle to get more closet space. No matter who you are, if you [ bleep ] someone in the [ bleep ], you should apologize. Is this true . How big is your [ bleep ] . What my [ bleep ] got to do with this here . When you stuck your finger in the alligators [ bleep ], what did the alligator do . Youre in great hands. I have to go take a [ bleep ]. Take care of the kids, okay . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have to take a break. When we come back from the break, i hope you know this already, but sunday is mothers day. And tonight real moms in disguise share the worst mothers day gifts they ever received from their children. That is next so stick around, well be right back. Where did we find the inspiration for our new flavors . It walked right in the door. Introducing new signature crafted recipes. Pico guacamole. Sweet barbecue bacon. Maple bacon dijon. Get a free medium fries and soft drink in the mcdonalds app with purchase of any signature crafted recipe sandwich. You bring your flavor to the world. We bring ours to you. What ari can explain. S 11pm. You should be out there disappointing your father. I need to clean this place up. Bloopy, bad judgement and loopy. Hunger keeps inventing new problems, so we invented snickers® crisper. Ltry align probiotic. N your digestive system . For a nonstop, sweet treat goodness, hold on to your tiara kind of day. Get 24 7 digestive support, with align. The 1 doctor recommended probiotic brand. Also in kids chewables. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Ewan mcgregor, katie loews, music from at the drivein is all coming. I dont know if id call it an epidemic but something is going on in the united kingdom. Theres a thing called after caud cohand that has been hitting hospitals. British surgeons reported a sharp rise in people injuring themselves while cutting avocados. I didnt know they had avocados there. Its weird that this is happening in england. There is no injury that screams california more than avocado hand. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] maybe quinoa foot would to yoga balls. But that is it. It does make sense. Weve been smashing avocados into guacamole for years, it was only a matter of time before they started to seek revenge on us. Mothers day is on sunday. Which means you have two days to figure out which old photo youre going to post of her on instagram. Its weird that mothers only get one day. Sharks get a whole week. Isnt it . Mothers day was, as you know, invented by big corporations in order to sell more moms. If you still havent picked a mothers day gift out i have an idea. Why not surprise mom with tickets to see king arthur legend of the sword . Moms get a lot of bad gifts on mothers day. Because kids are dumb and have no money. And dads in general, dads arent as good in the Gift Department as moms are. This year we decided to give mothers a chance to vent. We asked moms to share the worst mothers day gifts they ever received. We let them wear masks so hurting anyones feelings in this special Mothers Day Edition of hide and speak. [ cheers and applause ] could you tell us the worst mothers day gift you ever received . The worst mothers day gift. Peanuts. Thats all i get. Peanuts. Penis . Peanuts. Oh, peanuts. What is the worst thing youve ever got for mothers day . Well, i told my husband i didnt want chocolate. So him and my son got me big bags of potato chips. And i cried and cried and cried. A very tacky garden ornament which i didnt really like and i felt terrible about, which makes me a very bad mother, i think. Those your kids right there . Thats my children right there. She hates your gifts, guys. The mccony necklaces. The mccony areaings. The macaroni bracelets. Theyre all horrible. Every single gift sucks. Of wine inside the mini bucket to top it off. Were there minnow in the minnow bucket . No, but a Gift Certificate to the bait and tackle store. My husband, when the kids were small, he regave me the same gift from last year. What was it . The kids teeth. Thats your husband . Yep. Thats him. You gave her teeth . Yes. Are you a serial killer . No. The worst thing i ever got for mothers day was a laundry basket. I got a billy goat. What is the worst thing you ever got for mothers day . My daughter brought home all of her laundry and gave me coupons to do her wash. Is that your daughter over there . Yes. Any embarrassing stories you could tell us about her . Actually, she just peed her pants in a cup on her way down to san francisco. Because she couldnt wait. Peed her pants in my car. H thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right. You saw some bad mothers day gifts. Obviously you dont want to be in that boat. Mothers day isnt just what mike pence calls date night with his wife, its an important day. Its a day to express your love. If you dont have a gift yet, heres a creative idea for those who live in colorado, california, and a handful of other states. Mom. She spent most of her life taking care of you. This is lovely, steven. Im going to get started on these dishes. Isnt it time you took care of her . Mom, please. You work so hard. Its high time you took a break. This mothers day, give her the gift shell never remember. Marijuana. Handgrown to be smoked, eaten or vaped. I came from you ha ha marijuana has everything your mom needs to calm her nerves and chill her the [ bleep ] out. To purchase marijuana, call the number on the screen. Ask for dilman. If mom answers just hang and up try again later. Do you remember my friend susan from book club . It so is weird, because susan would never shop at whole foods. Warning, marijuana may cause your mothers story about running into susan from book club to be longer. Its like Grassfed Beef dog food and its air chilled this was a mistake. This was a mistake. Marijuana, your mother will call it reefer. Reefer. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right. Then go to brunch. Tonight on the show we have music from at the drivein. From scandal, katie lowes is here. Be right back with ewan mcgre r mcgregor dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by new mobil 1 annual protec protect your engine for one full year with just one oil change. At red lobsters seafood trios you dont have to choose just one thing. Choose your trio with any 3 of 9 selections for 15. 99. Like new creamy lobster pasta toasted parmesan shrimp and southernstyle crab cakes. Come create your trio before it ends. This clean was like pow everything well . My teeth are glowing. They are so white. Step 1 cleans. Step 2 whitens. Crest [hd]. 6x cleaning , 6x whitening a i would switch to crest [hd] over what i was using before. Im at higher risk fore as depression. Ave a stroke. Im 26 more likely to develop an irregular heartbeat. I have a 65 higher chance of developing diabetes. No matter who we are, these diseases can be managed or prevented when caught early on. Because with better research, the right medicine, and with doctors who help keep me healthy to begin with, jimmy tonight from the show, from scandal, katy lowes is with us. Then, this is big, their first album in 17 years its called interalia. At the drive in from if youre in los angeles you can see at the drive in Live Saturday night at the shrine auditory yom. And next week, we have new shows with bryan cranston, ed helms, justin theroux, johnny depp, science bob pflugfelder, will be here to do experiments. Paul george. And music from paramore, linkin park and snoop dogg. So please join us then. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an emmy and golden globenominated actor who trades lightsaber for snowshovel as the stussy brothers of north dakota in the third season of the great show, fargo. You hear me . Im dead . You got some nerve. This is your son. Tell lashes the tape. Im out of a job. She left me. Oh, well. You know. Should have done what was right when you had but when im done with you spiel be sponging you off the floor. Yeah, youll be in the poorhouse making soup out of your dirty socks. [ bleep ] you. Jimmy fargo airs wednesdays on fx, please say hello to Ewan Mcgregor. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Its kind of funny. Seeing you and i love the show by the way. Its fantastic. It just occurred to me youre saying fu to yourself. I do that a little more often sometimes maybe. Jimmy thats playing two roles is that tricky to do that . In this case, the challenge is to try and make it so the audience dont think about it. Jimmy right. And ive done ate couple of times before. And i did a film with michael bay called the island where i myself. And then in a film called last days in the desert, directed by rodrigo garcia, i played the jesus and i played the devil and i had scenes together. But in this case im playing two brothers. And ive got more to do with myself in this series than either of those two film. I had to do it so that you didnt think about it. You know . And then you have to make each person complete, then, i guess. Youve got to i dont want people thinking, oh, what are the similarities. Jimmy right, they are brothers, so they should be somewhat similar. They look a bit like me. Jimmy do you get paid double, paid twice as much for that . No. Jimmy you do not . No. And its the white it seems silly to say but its twice the work. Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] they would have had to pay another guy. Youve got to get a new agent is really what you need. Right . I tell you what, the only thing i would have been paid for more is the learning. Like i i go up there to calgary that i love and adore and the crew in calgary were i finished this only on thursday. And i miss it very much. Jimmy just finished . Just finished. We go up there, weve worked on the look and the makeup for ray and the look for emmitt. Then i had to think about how they sounded, thought about how they walk, how they move. I think about all those things. Wasnt until we started shooting that i realized i had to learn twice as many lines. I had to learn two leading roles. And that was just unbelievable amount of learning. I was shooting as ray, i was shooting as emmett, i was in the makeup chair, or learning lines. That was basically it. Jimmy when you for the emmys will you be nominated twice . Wouldnt that be great . Jimmy you could be running against yourself. Who are they going to pick . Jimmy no, who are they . Why would i be nominated for one and not the other . Jimmy i wonder how that works. I dont know, i could do the red carpet twice. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it would be great. I imagine you sitting in the say Ewan Mcgregor for emmitt. Then youre sitting then you get up and rush over to another seat. That would be nice, yeah. Yeah. Jimmy thats something else, thats interesting, whole deal. The show is fantastic, one of my Favorite Television shows. Noah holly is the creator. Jimmy hes a brilliant, brilliant guy. Id never seen it before. I started talking about it with fx. Because i always thought it was a silly idea, to make a tv series based on a movie we all know and love. Jimmy i think everyone thought it was a silly idea. Then i watched it, oh my god, he managed to take the essence of the coen brothers movie fargo. Different characters and different storylines, make it feel like fargo. Hes very talented. At that point how does it work, you contact him or just aware of the show and this all came together . I met the guy skiing, i met one of the producers from fargo in a restaurant on a ski slope in utah. And i was talking to him, introduced to him, talking to him abou a and he went, have you seen fargo . And i went, ppt, no. [ laughter ] i love galifianakis show baskets. Jimmy that is a great show. I love fx shows. He went, you should check out fargo, were looking for someone to play two brothers. That piqued my interest. I love Alec Guinness and actors who have done that, tackled different roles in a film. Jimmy Lindsay Lohan . Laugh live [ laughter ] beautiful work. Alec guinness, Lindsay Lohan. Not a sentence you hear a lot. Jimmy you have your actors and we have ours. Okay, yeah, thats fair enough. I think lindsays very good. Jimmy she as very good actress, weve forgotten about the acting part of her life, still a good actor. I feel like its a mark of something to be able to pull it off. And it was like you say, ive done it a couple of times before but never to this extent. Jimmy were going to take a break. Ewan mcgregor is with us. I love it. Hday. I am groot. Yes, lets get tattoos. Perfect. I am groot someones after you . I am groot i see it. I am groot yes so, uh. Shhh. Be the guardian of your galaxy in the allnew ford ecosport. Only in theaters may 5th. Where did we find the inspiration for our new flavors . It walked right in the door. Introducing new signature crafted recipes. Pico guacamole. Sweet barbecue bacon. Maple bacon dijon. Get a free medium fries and soft drink in the mcdonalds app with purchase of any signature crafted recipe sandwich. To the world. We bring ours to you. Mothand kohls has thatnday perfect gift for mom. Save on a new blouse to brighten her wardrobe. Make baking easier with a kitchenaid artisan stand mixer. Add some fun to sunday brunch with a cuisinart waffle maker. And vera wang fragrance is just 29. 99. Plus take an extra 20 off sale prices when you spend 100 or more and, everyone gets kohls cash earn it on everything spend it on anything this thursday through sunday at kohls. And let roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes. Roomba navigates your entire home. Cleaning up pet hair and debris for up to 2 hours. Which means your floors are always clean. You and roomba, from irobot. Better. Together. Fortified. Tored. Replenished. Emerge everyday with emergenc packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Emerge and see. To refinance your home. Eding through financial documents or, you could push that button. [rocket launching] skip the paperwork and get a mortgage solution in minutes. Lift the burden of getting a home loan with Rocket Mortgage by quicken loans. [whisper rocket] testinhuh . Sting is this thing on . Come on your turn where do pencils go on vacation . Pennsylvania laughter crunchy wheat frosted sweet kelloggs frosted miniwheats. Feed your inner kid but no, im gonna use the cups. Teaspoon teaspoon teaspoon ok google, how many teaspoons are in 4 cups . 4 cups equals 192 teaspoons. 192 . Ok 1. 2. A lot of people have vertical blinds. Well, if a lot of people jumped off a bridge, would you . You hungry . Im okay right im. Im becoming my, uh, mother. Its been hard, but some of the stuff he says is actually pretty helpful. Pumpkin, bundling our home and Auto Insurance is a good deal like buying in bulk thats fun, right . But we can protect your home and auto. Republican leaders are to Affordable Health care. Im Tom Perriello and in congress i voted for obamacare because it was wrong that a million virginians werent covered while Insurance Companies held all the power. Now im running for governor because its wrong that most virginia incomes havent gone up in 20 years. Together, we can stop donald trump, raise wages and build an economy that works for everyone. And well make sure this never happens in virginia. Jimmy were mcgregor from the show fargo on fx. Do you do anything to celebrate may the 4 in this may the 4th be with you, a big star wars holiday . I celebrate by not looking at my twitter account or Instagram Account at all. Thats how i celebrate. Whoohoo jimmy you know, theyre doing a han solo solo film, shooting one right now. Im sure youre aware. I wonder if Obiwan Kenobi solo only obiwan, is that something youd be interested in . Thats a good title, only obi. I would, its got to be point where ive been asked i dont mean any offense jimmy no, i understand. Ive been asked this question so many times. And i answer questions when im asked them because ive been brought up like that. Jimmy its polite of you. Its got to the point where it looks like im touting for work at disneys front door, like give me the obiwan spinoff. Jimmy i see, yeah. Of course id be happy to do jimmy did you steal a lightsaber when you did that the first time . Yes. Jimmy where that is lightsaber now . I dont know. Jimmy you dont know . I got the props guy i hope he dont he cant lose his job, were not making them anymore. The lightsaber handles, theres different ones. Ones you fight with which are smooth. If you fought with the one that hangs on the belt youd cut your hands, sharp edges and stuff. Youve got the gucci one, the one that hangs here and looks good. Close up and stuff. Then your different sorts of stuff. I asked him, tiger i think his name was, could you make me one . I swear to god the security was so tight. We shot the episode 2 and 3 in australia. It got so much that our producer, rick mccallum, had his dna cloned. It was like every prop, every someone stole an r2d2. Something. So his dnas all over everything. Jimmy really. Theres so many jokes about how he might have put all of them. Jimmy i cant imagine what he did to poor r2. That ones marked jimmy r2dna. Lovely tiger, if that was his name, he made me one. I think its in storage in london somewhere. Jimmy i would hope so. A guy who looks after my storage unit is just like this right now. Jimmy yeah, hes fighting storm troopers right now. In your storage facility. Exactly. Jimmy you were gaining weight the last time we were here for the role. Yeah. Jimmy you just told me that you finished shooting last week. What happened . How did you lose all the weight immediately . I had to gain the weight really for a scene in the very first episode. With Mary Elizabeth winstead. Were in a bathtub. Jimmy oh, yes. I get out of the bathtub and you see ray naked. I had to have this sort of heft to justify his look through the series. Because i wear padding for ray. Jimmy you did it just for that one scene . Really for that one scene. Also i wear prosthetics on my neck ray was head of. By the time i got in my costume, he looked heavy. But in this one scene i had to justify it. So i put on a lot of weight. I mean id never been fitter. I did just finished trainspotting 2 with danny boyle and the boys. You know, my character, renton, a super fitness fanatible at this point. I got really fit, running a lot. Johnny lee miller, a great friend, is an ultra marathon runner, runs 50, 100mile races. He inspired me to run further. Than id ever done before. I was super fit. And i met noah holly to discuss ray and emmitt and i said, maybe we could put a bit of prosthetics around my neck to make my heavier. And he went, you need to put some weight on. Jimmy thats the sentence i dream of hearing. [ laughter ] i know, it does i had been waiting for that as well. Sort of like the opposite what was we usually do for a naked scene in a movie. Jimmy yeah, right. Three weeks of not eating or drinking green [ bleep ]. Winstead is very attractive and you get in the now this is i assume fat and bald. Jimmy you get in like, i dont usually look like this. Yeah. Jimmy im running with Johnny Lee Miller normally. You should see me after that. You should have seen me a few months ago, mary. There was a great moment. Theres a moment where i go out to scoop mcnairry, who i adore, wonderful actor. Marys in the bath and i grab him like this. The cameras over by mary. Before i had a towel. Before every take, i sort of put my stomach over the towel. I ite id only met mary, we were strangers really. I knew we were going to get on when i looked over, she caught me doing that, she just went [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Ewan Mcgregor, everybody fargo wednesday nights on fx. Well be right back with katie lowes stasave on gifts for momls and get kohls cash for you pick out a diamond ring for just 79. 99 and get 10 kohls cash a cookware set and get 20 kohls cash or the Fitbit Charge 2 and youll get 30 kohls cash kohls. When i feel controlled by frequent, unpredictable abdominal pain or discomfort and diarrhea. I tried Lifestyle Changes and overthecounter treatments, but my symptoms keep coming back. It turns out i have Irritable Bowel Syndrome with diarrhea, or ibsd. A condition thats really frustrating. Thats why i talked to my doctor about viberzi. A different way to treat ibsd. Viberzi is a Prescription Medication you take every day that helps proactively manage both abdominal pain and diarrhea at the same time. So i can stay ahead of my symptoms. Viberzi can cause new or worsening abdominal pain. Do not take viberzi if you have no gallbladder, have pancreas or severe liver problems, problems with alcohol abuse, longlasting or severe constipation, or a bowel or gallbladder blockage. Pancreatitis may occur and can lead to hospitalization and death. If you are taking viberzi, you should not take medicines that cause constipation. The most common side effects of viberzi include constipation, nausea, and abdominal pain. Stay ahead of ibsd with viberzi. Attention. We and by we, we mean us, the entertainmentloving people of america, have updated our terms and conditions. One. From now on, the word television will no longer be defined as that thing over there on the wall. We want all our things to be television things. Phones. Ipads. Refrigerators. Heart monitors. Ok, maybe not heart monitors. Two. Our shows and movies. We want them when we want them. So they should go with us. Anywhere . You got that right, kid show thing. Three. Nothing beats live. So we want to stream all that sweet live stuff. Like football. Red carpets. And yelling. Wait what are we yelling about, guys . Four. We dont just want unlimited data. We want unlimited entertainment. Like unlimited hbo. Can i stop dying now mark . Cmon man. Its unlimited. We just want all our stuff. The way we want all our stuff. Thats not too much to ask is it . Only at t brings you entertainment on your terms. Directv, wireless, internet. Its entertainment your way. Schick hydro ® technology that transforms. Schick hydro ® protecting mankind, one face at a time. Youre not taking these. Hey, hey, hey youre not taking those. Whoa, whoa youre not taking that. Come with me. Youre not taking that. Youre not taking that. Youre not taking that. Mom, im taking the subaru. Dont be late. Even when were not there to keep them safe, our Subaru Outback will be. vo love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Well its a perfect nespresso hold on a second. Orge. Mmm. [mel torme sings comin home baby] hey there. Want a lift . Where are we going . No dont tell me. Let me guess. Have a nice ride. How far would you go for coffee thats a cup above . I brought you nespresso. Nespresso. What else . Jimmy hi there, welcome back. Still to come, music from at the drivein. Our next guest plays one of the most unpredictable people on one of the most unpredictable shows on tv. She is Quinn Perkins on scandal. You can see the twohour season tip in all lay a week from tonight here on abc. Please say hello to katie lowes. [ cheers and applause ] im so happy to see you. Jimmy im happy. This is the first time anyones been happy to see me, thats nice. I have to say congratulations on billy. Jimmy oh, thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] im so im so happy hes home. Jimmy hes doing great. Doing well. Jimmy he is doing very well. I love the name billy kimmel. I dont know him but i already like him. Jimmy thats good, yeah. Right . Such a good name. Is it a family name . Jimmy m who passed away named bill. She liked him. Is it short for something . Jimmy william is his name. Aww, its such a good name. Jimmy also, i did a little thinking about it. I was thinking like bill murray. Yes. Jimmy billy crystal. Yes. Jimmy its like the great billy connolly. Its the greatest comedy name there is. Billy bush. [ laughter ] he had one of the funniest tapes last year. That could go one way or the other. I love the name. And it goes really well with jane. Jimmy yes. The whole family. Jimmy my daughter jane, billy and jane, almost like a Michael Jackson song. [ laughter ] very much on my brain. Jimmy thank you, i appreciate it. I love it. Jimmy good. You seem very interested in the subject. Are you ovulating right now . [ laughter ] well, its a little bit Something Like that. The names have been very much on my brain. My husband and i, we are expecting our first baby. Jimmy congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] yeah its our first one, its a boy. We have zero names. Jimmy you have no names . None. Jimmy i can help you with this. My husbands a huge basketball fan. For years weve been calling him lebron. Jimmy baby lebron . We gol him lebron, bronbron, theres a bedroom next to our room and we say, someday thats going to be lebron or lebronnas room. Now we know its lebron but that cant be his name. Jimmy at a certain point maybe hell be with you for five years and hell say, im going to live with a different family. Then maybe hell come back later but it will be tumultuous. Hilarious. My husband really likes it. And Lebron Shapiro . Jimmy no, thats not lebron james is really good but Lebron Shapiro . Jimmy no, no. Yeah, nothing that youre thinking about . Gravitating towards . Literally nothing. Jimmy what about gelatin with a j . Thats what i tried to get my wife to go with. Camaro is one i thought would be really good. Brilliant, brilliant. Jimmy dump truck. Dump truck shapiro, thats a real winner right there. Hilarious. Jimmy soupnds like hed an heavyweight champion in the 20s, dump truck shapiro, killed a man with his bare hands shapiro is hard. If anyone has ideas im looking for any suggestions. Jimmy i would suggest you use your last name. That would be my suggestion. Yeah, yeah. No, shapiro will be fine, its going to be fine, dont worry about it. Im excited about it. Jimmy im excited for you also. Are you getting the house ready, baby proofing . Im getting the house ready, im getting everyone at work ready. I told shonda. Jimmy oh, yeah. I told her five minutes from being pregnant. Jimmy you have to. You know what she said to me . She knew. Jimmy what . Yes, because shes shonda, genius, knows everything thats going on in the jimmy were you living in shonda land . Right, the minute i got pregnant. Shonda knew i was pregnant. Jimmy how did she know . I think she was in the editing room for us hours, looking at my face, she could tell id had a really good weekend eating pizza and beer or i was pregnant. I told guillermo who plays huck, i told him next. It was not great. He just came up to me out of the blue, were tight, he was like, whoa. Your boobs look super big. Im like, im pregnant thats how he found out. Jimmy thats an hr violation. [ laughter ] look out, guillermo. Jimmy is your mother excited about this . My mother is freaking out. Jimmy a good mothers day gift. Oh my gosh, so what is happening . Jimmy yeah, youll get presents next year. Oh, thats exciting. Its an extra holiday that has been added. My mom is excited, the whole familys excited. Im trying to get the dog yet, this 8yearold dog i adopted who has issues. And we were daddy issues . [ laughter ] yeah, exactly. Hes just very sensitive. And ive been told by his trainer that i have to i got a baby doll that makes a lot of crying sounds. So im supposed to be Walking Around my house with a baby and like setting him up for success so that he can really get as used to the baby coming as much as he needs to before the baby gets here. Im putting deep others a baby doll. Jimmy you realize the dog thinks youre insane, right . [ laughter ] so do my parents. Jimmy youre dogs at the pound going, get me out of here. My parents too. Theyre like, think youve been living in l. A. Too long, you need to come home. Jimmy i think that is what people imagine is going on in l. A. People babying their dogs. Thats me. Jimmy i dont know if that works but it couldnt hurt to do it. Ill try anything, i dont care. I want hes my baby too. Hes my furry baby. Im sound like a crazy mom already. Crazy mom. Jimmy another thing, a lot of babies so theres a fur on the baby, on a human baby. Really . Jimmy at least mine has it, i dont know. When he was coming out it was like, oh, this is a chip pan zee. This is not a child. Im glad i know. I was a babysitter for 100 years. Jimmy thats right. I know best, but i dont know at all about jimmy about newborns. The greatest thing about babysitting is giving them back at the end of the day. Wait, they come out furry and i have to keep it for longer than a 10hour shift . Jimmy wait until you find out how you have to feed them. Its really weird. [ laughter ] its really weird. Huck is going to go wild. Whoa its going to be wild, its going to be crazy. The dogs going wild, hucks going wild . I saw a story saying this was going to next season was going to be the last season of scandal. That i have read things like that as well. I dont know anything. You have to ask shonda. Or abc. Jimmy i like that you point imagine shonda. She is shondaland, she is everything. Jimmy yeah, wow. Ask them, then tell them id like jimmy i think thats a terrible idea. What the hell . Are we intentionally trying to destroy this network . No, jimmy, you, youre the best. Jimmy yeah, thanks. [ cheers and applause ] i wanted to name a kid camaro, how good could i be . Congratulations to you and your husband. Katie lowes, everybody [ cheers and applause ] the twohour Season Finale of scandal a week from tonight on abc. Be right back with music from the drivein [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. [doorbell] when you have doctors working as a team for your health, you get the care you need to help you thrive. Visit kp. Org to learn more. Kaiser permanente. Thrive. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy i want to thank Ewan Mcgregor, katie lowes and apologize to matt damon. We ran out of time. Nightline is next, but first, this is their new albu interalia, here with the song hostage stamps, at the drivein [ cheers and applause ] my eyes scroll to the back of my head keepsake battalions phantom couplets a new tactile cremation attested inoculated at the liquor store drunk on the of semaphore embers the hospice waltz of corpus flowers leaves pinko fumes from turret guns sawing at the base of pylon towers banking on the drought banking on the opaque spurs ive defeated every crypt in the potters field of machuca thirty days spent in the hole raise yourself a inoculated at the liquor store drunk on the of semaphore embers thirty days spent in the hole raise yourself a nithing pole inoculated at the liquor store drunk on the of semaphore embers raise your nithing poles raise your nithing poles put your hurt in a safe throw it in wet cement never speak of this to a living soul raise your nithing poles inoculated at the liquor store drunk on the of semaphore embers raise your nithing poles raise your nithing poles raise your nithing poles raise your nithing poles [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, car fire mystery. Dozens of bmws going up in flames while parked, engines off. My car is on fire. Abc news investigates. Luxury cars even destroying homes. Snap, crackle, pop, and boom, a flame. What could be behind the combustions and how is the carmaker responding . Why didnt you say this to me when i was alive . Controversy erupting over the Netflix Series 13 reasons why. Accused of glorifying teen suicide. Now one high school answering back. Students taking to the loud speakers, broadcasting their own struggle. Getting teased and picked on for how i look. Calling me worthless, that id be bette