Dont you wanna, wanna dont you dont you want to see me flaunt what i got . Oh. Dont you dont you wanna, wanna dont you dont you wanna, wanna stress sweat is different than heat and activity sweat it smells worse. Secret clinical strength gives you four times the protection against stress sweat. Live fearlessly with secret clinical strength. Against stress sweat. [night fever playing] hey, sweetness. Id like to show you a picture my boss took. Uh, what do you see when you look at this picture . You and a girl who looks like you. Hey watch the hair. Well, dont tell someone they look like someone else when they very clearly dont will you relax . Why is this such a big deal for you . It just is hasnt anyone ever told you you look like someone, and it offended you . What, you mean, like, every famous fat guy in any movie, ever . Thats different. Whats with the getup anyway . Im going out with deacon tonight. What . Again . Thats the third time this week. Look, im doing this for my friend. Hes suffering. And you have to trim your nose hair because. Because im guiding him through the singles scene, ok . I dont think he wants a guy whos all, like, hey, whats up, ladies . This is my friend deacon right here. Deacon, say hello to the girl. Nice to meet you. How you guys doing . [telephone rings] [ring] hello . Its deacon. Whats up, my brother . I was calling to let you know i cant go out tonight. What . Why . I met this girl at church on sunday, and were just gonna hang out. Dude, im already dressed. Sorry. Shes making me dinner. You just met her at church, and now shes already making you dinner . I gotta tell you, man, you got a stalker on your hands, friend. Whats your problem, man . My problem is, we had plans this evening, and i think youre being very rude. Doug, in a second, you may hear a noise that sounds like someone hanging up. [dial tone] loser. Im glad deacon canceled. I get my couchdoug back. Yeah, hes back. Im sorry i snapped at you before about the picture. It was just. Its annoying. Do you know that they actually put it in the Office Newsletter . Do you know what the caption was . Marykate and ashley. Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Im just saying, i mean, whatever, but people have actually stopped me on the street and told me i look like jlo, you know . And one has actually met her. And this girl, trust me, looks nothing like jlo. So by simple multiplication, there is no way that i look like this girl. [disco music plays] and its not like i need people coming up to me every 2 seconds and telling me im beautiful or anything. But i definitely dont need people telling me i look like people that i dont look like. You know what im saying, hon . Oh, yeah. What . You kidding me . And lets say everybody was right at the office and i look exactly like this girl. Do you know what . It really doesnt matter to me, because im beautiful in here. Hi, dex. Hey, hows it going . Morning, angie. Hey, whatcha got there . You got some mail . Hi, lila hey. How ya doing . Hey, new look. Lila and. Slutty lila. Doug im home ow. Doug . Hello . [answering machine beeps] doug hey, baby. Im heading out to the club after work tonight. Gotta go do the cupid thang again. Dont wait up. Love you. [machine beeps] hey, carrie, its lila. Listen, i was thinking, tomorrow, lets try to convince tom in accounting that im you bye hey, look, this singles world, its a bumpy ride. But the important thing is, youre out here trying, buddy. And im here for you. Why did you wake me up for this . You love the club scene. I do not all right . Im awkward and sweaty, and many women think im in junior high. Do not do that to yourself. You, my friend, youre awesome. Now i have to meet some people at the bar. You wouldnt like them. Theyre really not your type. But you. Youre awesome. Freaks. Youve never seen the terminator . I dont believe you. Deacon . Oh, hey, girl hey, whats going on . I thought you were going out with doug tonight. No. Actually, i met someone. Im hanging out with wendy tonight. Wendy, carrie. Carrie, wendy. Hi. Hi. So youre not suffering at the moment . Suffering . No. Im a little disappointed cause they dont have along came a spider, but otherwise right. Right. Whats wrong . Nothing. Im just pretty sure i need to go kick cupids ass. Excuse me. [loud music playing] [crowd cheering] that guys awesome. Hes gonna break the record. Hi. Hey, whats going on . Oh, not much. I just ran into deacon. On a date. Im here for spence oh, will you stop it no, its true. Hes single, too. He needs me. Thats what i do. I help the single. Were is he . Spence . Oh, come on. Hes outside waiting for a cab. He said you kept ditching him. Hes drunk out of his mind. Oh, come on this isnt about your friends, admit it. This is about you getting your jollies in at nightclubs. All right, fine. I admit it. But you sent me here to get my jollies. No, i sent you here to help deacon get his jollies. Well, its dark. Jollies get very mixed up in this place. And whats the big deal anyway . So im feeling good about myself. Oh, so what . Ill tell you so what, ok . Youyouyou feeling good about yourself and me feeling lousy, thats not gonna fly, buddy, so heres how its gonna go down, ok . Youre gonna hang up your old chain, youre gonna let your nose hair grow, and were gonna go back to sitting on the couch and feeling just ok. Because thats what marriage is. All right, fine. Im coming back to the couch. Just gimme a second. I gotta find my keys. I think they shot out of my pants when i got rocketed off the bull. Ok, i definitely know you from somewhere. Uh. Actually, i just saw you walk in here, but i thought you were really, really hot. You do . Yeah. So you wanna go out to my van . Oh, my god. That is so sweet. But, no, im married. But thank you. Ok. Catch you later. Ok. Aw. All right. Lets get outta here. Lets hit the couch. Um, you know what, honey . Since were here, why dont we stay for a song . Are you serious . Sure. Why not . All right. Im warning ya. I picked up a few new moves, so dont be scared. All right. Come on. Show me what youre working with. Come on come on. Oh, boy oh, yeah shake it oh, yeah watch it watch the back watch the back oh, yeah, im watching. Im watching there you go come on oh, yeah work it there it is there it is wow eat right, not less. [ woman ] hi this looks interesting whats going on here . Would you like to try some hot cereal . [ women ] sure [ female announcer ] introducing special k nourish hot cereal. Special k . Wow wow [ female announcer ] made with superfoods. [ woman ] theres, uh, quinoa, barley. I can definitely taste the quinoa. Good i cant believe thats less than 200 calories. [ female announcer ]. To help you truly shine. This is a way to be good to me. [ female announcer ] nurturing yourself. What will you gain when you lose . Not anymore. What . My silverware isnt good enough for you . Have have you seen it . Yes, i have seen it, and it looks you gotta look better. Ladies, breathe. Cascade kitchen counselor here. Its not your silverware. Its likely your detergent. See, over time, cascade platinums triple cleaning formula delivers brilliant shine finish gel cant beat. It even helps keep your dishwasher sparkling. Find something, mother . No. [ counselor ] cascade platinum is cascades best. And . And then go to college and study science. Way to stay focused and then ill become a scientist and change the world the world . Now youre talking [ female announcer ] packed with whole grain fiber and a taste kids love, frosted miniwheats helps keep them full and focused. And when theyre full and focused every day, who knows what they may become some day. Thats what i call chemistry [ female announcer ] kelloggs frosted miniwheats cereal. Help feed their full potential. Now with kelloggs family rewards, you can get even more from the products you love. Join today at kfr. Com. [ male announcer ] when your favorite food starts a fight, fight back fast with tums. Relief that neutralizes acid on contact and goes to work in seconds. Tum, tum tum tum tums relief that neutralizes acid on contact aah hey yee hee aaaaah my god that little boys gonna break the junior record. Aaaaah aah aaaaah ah ha ha captioning made possible by Sony Pictures television captioned by the National Captioning Institute www. Ncicap. Org where teams compete to make the right decisions about safe food preparations. Our challenge in this round read and follow package cooking instructions, and use a food thermometer. Lets see how our teams are doing so far team 1 . We just got 100 points. We separated our raw food from our cooked food. Team 2 . We got a 100point green card for proper hand washing before our meal prep. Referee weve reached a critical safety point in the challenge. Okay, team 1, lets check this out. Uhoh, not a safe internal temperature for those hamburgers. That puts everyone at high risk for foodborne illness. You get a red card undercooked. Always read and follow the package cooking instructions and use a food thermometer. Lets see how our winning team cooked it safe and avoided problems. Well, i just kept focus on the four food safety steps clean, separate, cook, and chill. And we followed the package cooking instructions and took the temperature. Can you cook it safe . Psst. In here im safe. Not quite. The amulet, please, mr. Stinson. Why . Kid help help the kid. Help hang on, kid. Grab my tie. But youre not supposed to take the tie off. You lost a bet with your friends lily and marshall which requires you to wear the tie for a full year. If it means saving your life, i think theyll understand they sound like nice people yeah, they are. Grab that. Come on. Thats it. panting thanks, mister. How can i repay you . You can stay in school, thats how. bird squawks gasps no true story. But golly, im just gonna miss the heck out of that ducky tie. I really am. Look what i just found in the trash. No there are cameras, police, guards. Ds us. But who looks after us online, where we spend more than 200 billion dollars a year. American express can help protect you. With intelligent security that learns your spending patterns, and can alert you instantly to an unusual charge. So you can be a member of a more secure world. This is what membership is. This is what membership does. Even when you dont now yhave time for a break break with new kit kat minis. Poppable, bitesized minis that let you make break time anytime. Imagine a new level of refined, perfected. At pixel level. New loreal texture perfector. Refine texture reduce pores diminish lines even close up, skin looks remarkable. New youth code texture perfector. Only from loreal paris. Somebody puts a sign up because of something you did. For instance. Have you guys seen that sign out front that says absolutely no boogieboarding . Whats that all about . Well, it happened a few months ago. The night of the hurricane. Narrator it was august 26, 2011, and hurricane irene was barreling towards new york. Guys, guys, guys. This storm is serious. Luckily, you are friends with a former boy scout. And a boy scout is always what . Unpopular . Beaten up . Going to the movies with his mom . A boy scout is always prepared. Prepared to spend lunch in his locker . Prepared to die a virgin . Prepared to paint his sisters nails . Prepared for emergencies thats why a week ago, when irene was just a tropical depression youre a tropical depression. laughing this guy got us. A disaster backpack, and a rental car that seats five, parked right outside. Were gonna drive up to my place in westchester where well all be safe. Boy scouted youre welcome. Teds right, we should go. Hey, on the way out of the city, do you mind if we stop at my place so i can get something . Okay, what did you have to get . My drink on. Were not going anywhere. What . No we dont have time for this we gotta get going ted, im older than you. Yeah. And taller. Just older. And when you reach my age, and height, youll see that things like this hurricane are no big deal. Theyre going to close the bridges. You guys, we got to get out of here. Im afraid im with blondie on this one. This storm is nothing. Im from vancouver. You know what we call this in the couv . Barbecue weather. phone ringing oh, its my mom, checking to see if im okay. Hey, mom. Ooh, mommy its dwizzling out
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