Transcripts For WCVB Jimmy Kimmel Live 20160928

Posting your opinions about who won the debate last night on facebook. Heres the thing. Anyone who already agreed with you will continue to agree with you. Anyone who didnt, wont. [ laughter ] next time, instead of writing out a long, passionate thing, take a nap, youll be glad you did. How many of you watched the debate last night . [ cheers and applause ] at least half of you are lying, i just know it. If i have t interrogate everyone, i will. As predicted, this was the mostwatched debate in the history of ever. More than 84 americans watched on television alone. They covered national security, the economy, rosie odonnell, everything that needed to be covered. Trump warned our economy is in a big fat ugly bubble, and when he is president it will be a tall, thin, beautiful bubble. With perky, enormous bubble wants to bring back stop, collaborate, and listen as part of her vanilla ice initiative. Trump repeatedly denied saying things he absolutely said, on tape, and in writing. Trump told some whoppers. Four Fact Checkers killed themselves last night trying to go through all them. After 90 minutes of watching these two go back and forth, i feel like hillary and donald might have irreconcilable differences. I dont think counseling is going to help them. After dat bate there was another debate about donald trump, youre not going to believe this, he believes he won the debate. Not just dat bate. He thinks he won the world series and the super bowl too. [ laughter ] after the debate, trump was asked what he thought about the moderator, lester holt, from nbc news. And his opinion of lester started out very positive. And as youll see slid downhill from there. Mr. Trump, how do you feel about how lester holt did . I thought lester did a great job. Honestly, i thought he did a great job. You thought the questions were fair . Guys were debating two people. I felt he was fine. I felt it was fine. What grade would you give lester holt . I give a c. I thought he was okay. Jimmy tough grader, no wonder nobody ever graduated from trump university. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he says somebodys great and gives them a c. Of course, the big winner at the debate last night was nasonex. Donald trump was sniffling apparently the back story is he fired his personal noseblower. And was left unattended all week. Social media, people went nuts over this. The former governor of vermont, howard dean, who ran for president in 2004, tweeted, notice trump sniffling . Coke user . Which is kind of a crazy thing to tweet. I mean, especially from the guy who did this. Dealer, i dont know. This is funny. The Police Department in lawrence, kansas, tweeted this yesterday. From their official account. They tweeted, reminder, we realize politics can make emotions run high, but being mad at a president ial candidate in a debate is not a reason to call 911. [ laughter ] then who are you supposed to call, ghostbusters . Is this actually a problem in lawrence . If you call 911 because youre upset about the debate, you should aut you should not be allowed in the booth. To me the most interesting moment between clinton and trump had nothing to do with donald or hillary. To me it was when bill said hello to melania before the debate started. You couldnt hear what was said on the tv broadcast but somebody nearby had a microphone and picked the whole thing up. Listen closely here. Heres my hotel key, pretend hello ivanka jimmy still got it, still got it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i was shocked, i couldnt believe it either. At the very end trump announced he was going to Say Something extremely rough to hillary and her family. Presumably about that. But he said he just couldnt do it because it was inappropriate. And then moments later, coming offstage, he said this. Anything that you wish you did differently . No, know, the indiscretions with respect to bill clinton. Because i have a lot of respect for chelsea clinton. And i just didnt want to say what i was going to say. Which is . Which is, ill tell you maybe at the next debate. [ laughter ] jimmy the first cliffhanger weve ever had at a president ial debate. By the way, guillermo, i heard a story that that woman, alicia yes. Jimmy who trump called . Guillermo miss piggy, miss housekeeper. Jimmy i heard you were texting with her last night . Guillermo yeah, yeah. Jimmy is that true . Guillermo yes. Jimmy why . Guillermo i met her in the gym. [ laughter ] jimmy okay, i dont believe that at all. What kind of a gym are you guys going to . Guillermo regular gym. Jimmy one of these gyms . Guillermo a jimmy so youve become friendly, you asked her for your phone number . Guillermo she asked me for my phone number. Jimmy she did . Guillermo im a gentleman so i gave her my phone number. Jimmy Miss Universe . You gave Miss Universe your phone number. Does your wife know youre exchanging texts . Guillermo yes, she was right there when she was texting. Jimmy is she always right there when youre texting somebody . Guillermo not all the time. Jimmy okay. Well. And into this too, whatever this was. One of the most unusual statements trump made was when he was talking about the hack of the Democratic National committee, which has been blamed on the russians. But trump is not so sure. I dont think anybody knows it was russia that broke into the dnc. Shes saying russia, russia, russia. But maybe it was, i mean, it could be russia. It could also be china. Could also be lots of other people. It also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, okay . Hey buddies this is bull [ bleep ] i do this for you whether it was russia, whether it was china, whether it was [ bleep ] its nice to see young people getting excited about politics. Clinton and trump werent the only competitors at hofstra last night. This is what it was like down on the debate floor as the reporters tried to make their way through the madness. Thanks a lot, bitch. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know. This election is bringing out the best in everyone, it really is. Donald trump and hillary clinton, they threw a lot out there during the course of their 90minute argument. It went by very quickly. So we decided to slow them both down for a special this was the first time weve ever done this a special twocandidate edition of drunk [ tape playing very slowly ] i have a feeling by the end of this evening im going to be blamed for everything why not . Why not, yeah. Why not. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have to take a break. When we come back, another on mars. And musical visit from the trumpaloompas, so stick around, daughter mom, ready to go . Mothekohls coupons. For my why . I set up the kohls app on your phone. Huh . Yeah, your coupons are already in your digital wallet. Oh, cool. Vo all your coupons in one place. The kohls app. Vo now thats the good stuff. Mother cool. . Every time i travel, its the moments that are most rewarding. . Join Marriott Rewards and well help you find your moments with our diverse collection of hotels and resorts around the world. So no matter where you go, you are here. Its peyton on sunday mornings eman hey whats up, peyt . You know ive got directv nfl sunday ticket i get every game, every sunday. All in hd. Yeah. I know that. So you want to come over . Ill make nachos. Tuesday. Get nfl sunday ticket only on directv. And watch Live Football anywhere. Switch today and get 100 reward card. [ on the road again, by Willie Nelson ] . On the road again . [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] . Just cant wait to get on the road again . [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. Wednesday morning on the eyeopener, big changes whether it comes to paying for college. What every family needs to know to get the most hope, and weather changes, including clouds and a chill, i will break it down for you on wednesday it down for you on wednesday starting at fios is not cable. It down for you on wednesday starting at were wired differently. Which means we can fix things differently. Thanks for calling fios, this is ryan. Fios app thats going to let me see what youre seeing. Really . Yes. Mr. Mcenroe. See that cord . Just plug it into the connector on the right. So you can clearly see whats in and whats out . Oh, absolutely. I like that. Get fios with virtual tech support for 69. 99 a month. Jimmy hi, there. Welcome back to the show. J. K. Simmons, action brandon, music from air is on the way. You know what might else be on the way is life on mars. Our lives on mars. Elon musk is the guy behind tesla today, outlined a plan, a real plan, to build a selfsustaining city on mars. This is what rich people do after they visited every country in europe 20 times. His goal is to have people, americans i guess, living on decades. I have an idea, why not make donald trump president of mars . He would be great up there. [ cheers and applause ] its not just a country, its a whole planet he gets to run. Hillary clinton will be happy. And who better to preside over an orangishred planet than him . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i will not be going to mars. Would you go to mars . Guillermo no, jimmy, no. Jimmy no. What if you and miss guillermo oh, thats a different story. Jimmy that would be something different. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy uber is reportedly working on passenger drones. These are drones, instead of getting stuck in traffic, theyd be able to fly people short distances and drop you off at your destination. Like a little plane. Can you imagine that . Call an uber and it lands on your lawn. You know when it gets that, you know that thing where they tell youd be able to see they werent arriving now. These vehicles will be unmanned, no driver. Which is probably just as well. If uber did have a pilot running them wed probably end up with Something Like this. Thank you for flying uber air. You want to listen to some etm . . Dont open window, okay . You like pina colada air frischener . Hold on, this is best part of song. . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you see what im saying . Thats what it would be like. I feel like we missed the premise here. Never mind. Earlier tonight, here on abc it was elimination night on perry, who at one time was a bona fide candidate for president of the united states, is dancing now. He got the low score last night. Kudos to him. The paso doble, my best description is a bullfight. One, two whoa when i think about the men and women who serve us in the military, when so its going to take more than that. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. That, ladies and gentlemen, is an american hero. He should probably get the purple heart for that, right . I mean, unfortunately for rick perry, america did not vote for him. Again. He got the bedazzled boot tonight. I wonder which stinks more, losing to mitt romney or vanilla ice . [ laughter ] back to the other popular but as far as i know, nothing has been sung about it. Until now. Ladies and gentlemen, by popular demand, please join me in welcoming the trumpaloompas . . Ive got another puzzle for you . . Trumpaloompa do . Dont interrupt shut up hillary . . How can a man make America Great . . When he doesnt prepare for his first debate . . Making things up playing loose with the facts . . Who does he blame for the russian hacks . . A 400pound hacker . . I cant believe im tied with him . . . Trumpaloompa if youre a trumper you will go far . Doopatydoo . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonight on the show, we have music from air, Action Bronson is here, be right back with j. K. Simmons [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by rinnai tankless hot water heaters and home heating solutions. To the lord . . Power, power to the lord . . . Power lord . . Try align probiotic. For a nonstop, sweet treat goodness, hold on to your tiara kind of day. Live 24 7. With 24 7 digestive support. Cozy up this fall with dunkins coffee and espresso flavors. Sip salty and sweet with our new salted caramel macchiato or drink in the season with the classic taste of pumpkin. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, there. Welcome back to the show. Tonight, from the cooking, eating and smoking theme show fword thats delicious, action bron so is is here with us. Then this is their album o twenty years air from the samsung outdoor stage. Tomorrow night Sarah Jessica parker will be here, daveed diggs will join us hes the guy who played lafayette in hamilton. Hes on blackish now. And we will be music from dan and shea. And, for those of you who live in our neighborhood, on saturday were having a yard sale in our parking lot. For real. Were selling props, costumes, everything through the Uncle Frank Helping Hand Foundation to benefit my friends place which helps homeless young people here in hollywood. [ cheers and applause ] it starts at 8 00 a. M. I will be there, are you going to be there . Guillermo yes, i will be there. Jimmy well be there together. Dont be one of those weirdos who shows up at 6 00 a. M. Were not selling anything until 8 00 i hate those people. And for those who cant make it in person you can bid on some great stuff on ebay too. We have some neon signs from when we were in austin. Two bar signs, a beer si you can sense a team here. Theres a jimmy pi . Ata, a guillermo pi . Ata and this Kim Kardashian snow blower. Would make a wonderful christmas gift. Snow blower not included. Anyway. Join us for that on saturday here in hollywood. Our first guest is an oscarwinning actor who you would not want to be your bandleader or cellmate in prison. His new thriller is called the accountant. Say youre the head of the weighing it in 18wheelers. But one sunny mexican day your inhouse money scrubber comes to you and says, youre 30 million light. Who can you trust to do the forensic accounting, track your stolen cash . Deloitte touche . H r block . You somehow contact an individual capable of coming in cold, uncooking years of books, and getting out alive. I retire in seven months. Before i do, i need to know who jimmy the accountant opens october 14th. Please welcome j. K. Simmons [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy very good to see you. Last time you were here, you were in a tuxedo, you had an oscar in your friends. You were trying to take way to get into a tug of war with you. I saw this photograph of you online, this made the rounds. [ cheers and applause ] is it insulting that everyone was so surprised by this . I mean, really. I hadnt thought to look at it that way. Jimmy those are some serious gums youve got to . Two of them, not just one. One on each side. Those are still there, this went away. Jimmy the beard left but the muscles remain. Are you training . Are you in trouble . Im training. To try to not succumb to father time too quickly. Jimmy were you always like this, into working out . No, i think i could probably go back and, you know, beat up my 17yearold self, i think. Jimmy thats a good feeling. Yeah. Jimmy a bad feeling and a good feeling. When you were a kid were you into sports . Yeah, i was a jock. Up until like it was 1970, 69. I kind of hold of you . It was like you had to choose, you couldnt be a jock and a hippie. You know. After awhile my knees got to be a problem. And i was like, ah. Ill grow some hair. Jimmy now youre back with the jocks again. Yeah. Jimmy you were riding your bicycle today, i heard. Riding home from the gym . Yeah. Yes, i foolishly ride my bicycle in l. A. Jimmy it was almost 100 degrees today. Yeah. I had a hoodie on. Beca an idiot. Jimmy why do you have the hoodie . So people dont go, oh, what the hell, commissioner gordons on a bicycle yeah, yeah. No, just to keep the sun off because im a vampire, basically. Such an albialbino. Jimmy do you stay up late . No, i just avoid the sun. My wife and i, our children are the whitest children in los angeles. Jimmy oh, congratulations. We try to keep them out of the sun jimmy how old are your kids . 17, the age i just quoted myself. Jimmy do you hide your past from them . So that they do not do the things you did and then i did. Jimmy you did . Now . Until you started jimmy until tonight. Hopefully they wont catch this, then. What kind of kid were you . Besides being a yeah, i was sort of, you know, one of the jocks, then i was one of the hippie freaks rebelling against whatever there was to time, you know. Jimmy what were you did you ever figure out what you were rebelling against . We were the rebels without a clue. Jimmy were you ever arrested . Wow. Not convicted. All right . [ laughter ] i spent a little time in some Holding Cells on a few occasions. Oh, really. You were laying the groundwork for a career as an undesirable. Not on social media, huh . Yet somehow you have wound up in two of the more popular photographs. Thats you and amy schumer. And youre recreating american gothic. Its kind of funny. There is definitely something there. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we need to get you overalls. I thi her about the similarity. And she was just basically looking for the next, you know, bald, white guy with a fork. [ laughter ] to stand next to and take a picture. Jimmy did you have one . I happened to be there and have a fork. Im usually hanging out at the Craft Services table. Jimmy snacking, bulking up . Bulking up on blueberries, yeah. Jimmy blueberries, i see. Thats what makes your body like that, ive got to eat more blueber blueberries. Was totally different than what i was imagining it might be. Well, yeah, and thats the title is kind of, what . Thats what i love about the movie is that you kind of dont know what it is. And its sort of a mix of genres and its interesting on a lot of levels. A super actionpacked clip you showed by the way. Jimmy i know, i know. I dont want to give anything away. I know. Jimmy youre not necessarily involved in most of the actionpacked clips. No, i spend most of my time trailing ben affleck around. J following batman. Jimmy hes not batman in this movie although you might think he was batman in this movie. Hes almost more badass than batman. Jimmy he kind of is, like an unsuited batman in this movie. I think it was i think its really good. I wasnt expecting it to be so actionpacked. Its interesting you guys are working was this movie shot before you decided that you would play commissioner gordon . Shot it about a year and a half ago. And they were going to release it i think last winter. Then they thought, oh, they want the more prestigious fall slot because they think its going to be a movie thats going to get a lot of good attention. See. They held it until october 14th. Jimmy its real good. Its called the accountant. J. K. Simons, everybody. Opens in theaters october 14th. Thank you, j. K. Well be right back [ cheers and applause ] . Des. The glow gals, illuminated by a thousand likes. The lords of the playlist. The careless dancers. The coat check skippers. The midnight feasters. And the last train sprinters. We are the night. Follow your own sense of style. T. J. Maxx really helped us express our creative side. Thats the best part. You dont know what youre going to find. I always find great deals on shoes. Purses. Were a team. Yeah. Maxx life at t. J. Maxx. What is driving performance . Its not a weekend hobby. You have to live and breathe it for 50 years. Its the sound. And the fury. Its letting it all hang out there, and its hanging on for dear life. The 503horsepower mercedesamg c63 s coupe. My mother passed 2003, but scare if you turn outdont to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. Sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. phone ringing answering machine hi, leave a message after the beep. beep hey mom, this is larry. Love you. beep you love allDay Breakfast. But you dont love that you cant get all your favorites. But now you can get more of what you love. So you can find Something Else to not love. Like hearing the sound of your own voice. softly like hearing the sound of your own voice. Get more choices you love, now with all Day Breakfast. 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One of three white children born in brooklyn, rd doing what . We never asked. My mother cooked our meals, washed our clothes, and laid on the ground pretending to be dead until we cried. I try to instill these same values in my own family. My wife barbara ann, and my children jessup and barbara ann jr. My critics will say im unqualified, that i have no Foreign Policy experience. And yet ive been to cancun i have negotiated with the cancunese. They said ocho dollars for this baddy, i said quatro, we settled at seis. I am against terror. Terror is bad always have been, always will be. I knitted this american flag. I love people. I love talking to people. I love talking at people. My father always said, no man ever learned anything b listening, now pull my finger. Its time to stop listening and to start voting for change. Because together we can make today yesterdays tomorrow again. Im jimmy kimmel and i hit this home run at a televised softball game. And one of the favorites watch out, watch out another home run, Jimmy Kimmels got it, its 43 still not paid for by jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] up and music from air, but before that do you have a rinnai tankless water heater . If you dont, call your plumber right this second to have one installed. Theyre Energy Efficient and provide an Endless Supply of hot water. To demonstrate, we put a shower out on hollywood boulevard, and invited pedestrians to get into it. Guillermo who wants to take a nice warm shower . You want to take a shower . No, thank you. Guillermo do you want to take a shower . No, thank you. Guillermo ready to take a guillermo enjoy the nice water thanks to rinnai tankless water heaters. Its warm. Ill stay here all day. Guillermo bring a book . Magazine would be great. Guillermo hows the water . Its warm. Guillermo this is my shower pinata. Watch out now. Guillermo are you enjoying the shower . Im trying to get you a magazine or book. The waters still warm . Its warm, its very good. Carryon suitcase. Fabulous. Guillermo oh, yeah. Whoo you want to look at my moustache . Perfect. Guillermo is it warm . It is. Guillermo ohoh get the towel. Okay, i know something better. How do you like this . Thanks, rinnai dicky rinnai tankless water eaters go to rinnai. Us today. Guillermo time to get out. Thank you. Jimmy be right back with you deserve more. More savory. Sfx people oohing and ahhing more sweet. Sfx people gasping in excitement more lovin. Sfx people clapping and cheering. Now get more choices on mcdonalds all Day Breakfast menu. . Its a tangle of multiple symptoms. . . Trintellix vortioxetine is a prescription medicine for depression. Trintellix may start to untangle or help improve the multiple symptoms of depression. For me, trintellix made a difference. Or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. Trintellix has not been studied in children. Do not take with maois. Tell your healthcare professional about your medications, including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications to avoid a potentially lifethreatening condition. Increased risk of bleeding or bruising may occur especially if taken with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin, or blood thinners. Manic episodes or vision problems may occur in some people. Side effects are nausea, constipation and vomiting. Trintellix did not have Significant Impact on weight. Ask your healthcare professional if trintellix could make a difference for you. foot steps . crickets chirping . jet engine . heart beat . engine revving tires on wet road . Lease the exhilarating 2017 lincoln mkz for 349 a month only at your lincoln dealer. Theres more to emma. To her, green. Was always more than a color. And style, was more than what you wear. Theres more to emma than youd expect, you can find your more on ebay too. Cc1 test mesge jimmy still to come, music from air. Our next guest has a fantastic hes a sous chef turned rapper turned host of a show called fword, thats delicious. Watch it thursday nights on viceland. Please welcome Action Bronson. [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy hows it going . Great, man, how are you . Jimmy i can almost see your eyes. I was waiting back there awhile. Jimmy if we tested your d get the whole audience high. Through the roof. Jimmy how you doing . I feel amazing. Jimmy was i accurate with my description of your show . Which ive seen many, many times. You made me blush back there, it was beautiful. Jimmy you do, you go around and kind of enjoy yourself with your friends. Name should have your buddies that are joining you on the show. Mayhem loren was writing back. Big body bass. We have alchemist. You know. Up with my entire life, its a natural thing. We go out in queens and all over new york and eat. So its only right that when we go out, we get, you know, the same treatment. And you get to see it on camera. Jimmy not only that, you guys are its not just fooling around, youre serious about the food, very appreciative of good food. I worked as a chef ten years before i rapped, ever did anything. I mixed concrete. I removed as business else to. Asbestos. Jimmy at the restaurant . No, at different places. Different places. Jimmy sounds like a terrible restaurant. Ive lived the hard life. These hands have crushed rock. Jimmy yeah, and now theyre rolling joints a lot, yeah. [ laughter ] with extreme precision. Jimmy its not just queens. You were traveling all over the country, all over the world, visiting places. Where have you been . Just came back from japan three days ago. Jimmy how was that . Unbelievable. What a culture shock. Jimmy what cities did you go theres so much to do in toke you, you cant really its hard to leave. Im trapped. But next time im going to travel the coast and see the beautiful i want to see where the Cherry Blossoms are. We see those pictures, it makes me like a little tear run down. Jimmy youre very sensitive. I am, man, i am. Im a big teddy bear. Jimmy yeah, yeah. But dont get me mad. Jimmy they have those in weekend, Cherry Blossoms. I had one in front of my they chopped it down. Jimmy oh, no. My mother used to do the garden. She used to do the garden in front of the house. Something i grew up with. I was very angry. Jimmy who chopped it down . Someone from the housing department. Jimmy didnt you find and kill that person . I dont want to do that because Cherry Blossom signifies beauty and peace. Jimmy when you kill the beauty and peace, you and the other guys could find the guy who did it and kill him on the show. Yes, but it would be jimmy hm, well talk about it off the air. Yeah. Jimmy i think it would be fun if you had a vendetta on the show. Youre right, new storyline. Jimmy you have been arrested in the past . All our guests tonight have been arrested. Yes. Jimmy what didnt you do what is this . Jimmy youre under oath. Share this with us. Oh, man. You know. Just tribulations of a young boy in new york city. Jimmy stealing . Yes. Jimmy whatd you steal . Spot. Jimmy i do. Well, i used to enjoy stealing. This was before the flat screen tv. Jimmy okay. It was a 32inch box tv. I used to roll it out of places like kmart wearing the suit. Jimmy what . Thinking that because i had a suit on, that theyd just overlook me. Oh, yeah, this guy cant be stealing anything, hes wearing a suit. 18 years old. I have platinum blond hair down to my shoulders, dont ask me jimmy did you get away with this . No. [ laughter ] several times i did this one time i didnt, i was caught in linden, new jersey. Linden, new jersey. Jimmy wow. I hate linden, new jersey, ill never go back. Jimmy they got some nerve. They do, they do. Jimmy youre just trying to get a tv. And paints and boom boxes. Would you sell or keep the tv . This one was a gift for my friend. [ laught this one was a gift. But usually theyd be sold. Bartered for other products. Jimmy all right. Back to the food for a second. Im curious as a man whos a connoisseur. I feel the same way. I love when i go to a city and i find a place that ive heard of. Maybe some little dive thats supposed to have great food. What do you remember as the greatest meal youve ever had . Wow. Well, the greatest meal ive ever had is recently. Because it was an experience that ive never felt before in it was at la creation de narasawa. The number one rated restaurant in the world. Chef narasawa is a genius. He brought out several dishes, asked me to guess what they were. I guessed wrong on all of them but i was close. Jimmy what were they . One was a baby soft shell turtle. Jimmy oh. Im sorry. [ laughter ] jimmy what did you guess it was . I gland lar, like a brain or thymus gland that was wrong. I love baby turtles. Yeah. I really do. Theres something to see. Jimmy oh, i know. They break through the sand jimmy and theres you eating them at the end the yeah. I didnt know. Jimmy you didnt know. Then he gave me some soup that tasted like a very rich beef broth. And i come to find out it was a jimmy really . It was phenomenal. Jimmy interesting reaction, i hear you say you ate a little snake im like, good, one less of them out there. I feel that. Jimmy but the turtle is like, you monster. I felt terrible afterwards. I felt like an animal. Jimmy what did the rattlesnake taste like . Like beef broth, rich and smoky. They eat ox tails from the jamaican spot. Jimmy i have, yes. Ox tails, thatsne favorite things in life, make some noise for ox tails [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come on guys, whats wrong with you . My man knowledge in the background. Jimmy they have not made any noise for ox tails at all tonight. Ever jimmy its getting under my skin. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this is interesting. You used to cook for the new york mets baseball team. I did. I heard that youre a big mets fan. Jimmy i am. Its a very exciting and nerveracking time. Im one of those rare born in flushing, queens, my entire life, but im a yankee fan. Jimmy sorry to hear that. Its all right. Jimmy yankee fans eat baby turtles. Im not a met hater. Jimmy youre not, good. I nourish them. Jimmy what did you do for them . I worked in the commissary kitchen, pretty high up for a minute. Then one day i lost my temper. Jimmy oh. Because somebody kept bumping me if the kitchen while i was ng i think i was making a sauce, some sort of beautiful mushroom sauce. And he just was testing my patience. And this was a time where omar meniah was the gm, he walked in at the exact moment when i threw him over a desk. Jimmy the other guy who was bumping you . Yeah. Jimmy yeah. So i was terminated. But i was really i was on my way. I was working my way up, man. Jimmy whats this beard hair doing in my mushroom stew . Yeah, this is a struggle. Jimmy you cant have that in the kitchen. You cant. Jimmy the show is fun to watch on viseland, its called fword thats dishes. Thursday nights. Action bron done, everybody be right back with air [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is special interests that oppose question 2 claim district schools lose money to charter schools. Thats absurd, says the boston herald. Outright lies, reports the lowell sun. Charter schools dont siphon off state dollars from traditional schools, says the boston globe. In fact, Public Schools get more money. Will give parents more choices and result in more funding for public education. Please vote yes on question 2. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by samsung. Jimmy id like to thank my i guests and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. Nightline is next but first, their album is called twenty kelly watch the stars, air . . . . Kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars . . The stars the stars . Kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars . Kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars . . . . . . . Kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars . . . Kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars . . Kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars kelly watch the stars . . Kelly watch s [ cheers and applause ] . . . . . . . This is nightline. Tonight did anybody see that debate last night . The political aftershocks after the mostwatched president ial debate in history. Both candidates claiming victory. Almost every single poll had us winni he called this woman miss piggy the never Trumpers Hillary brought up the beauty queen, once a target of trumps slashing out. He wasnt even rude to me. The architect who says trump shortchanged him. He basically bullied me into accepting a lot less. Will their stories help shape the direction of this election . Plus sting operation, arizonas professional scorpion hunters. Crazy big