And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove ow yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh oh oh oh whoo [ audience chats whoo ] whoo [ audience chats whoo ] ow [ audience chats ow ] ee [ audience chats ee ] whoo [ audience chats whoo ] heyoh [ audience chats heyoh ] hey [ audience chats hey ] ho hip hop horray ho hey ho hip hop horray were starting off way hot. We came out real hot, real hot. Welcome, everybody. Thank you. Welcome to the tonight show, baby steve come on [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this is it thank you for being here. Thank you for watching. Hey, guys, tomorrow is earth day. It is earth day tomorrow, you guys. Thats a big big day. [ cheers and applause ] its the one holiday thats not sponsored by the greeting card companies, so thats a good thing. [ applause ] actually, theres lots to celebrate. I want to say happy birthday to queen elizabeth. Today she turned 91 years old. [ cheers and applause ] 91, wow [ cheers and applause ] when asked if she was going to celebrate, the queen said, i did all my celebrating on 4 20. And you go, well, thats [ cheers and applause ] thats cool. Speaking of 4 20, i read that a a weedfocused digital video channel is launching this year called 420tv. [ light laughter ] people are waiting to see how it will do it against its main competitor, your screen saver. [ laughter and applause ] its fantastic. Lets get to some news here. Some documents just came out that show which companies gave money to trumps inauguration, and it turns out ups was one of the biggest donors. Ups. People were like, great. Now, can you teach him how to deliver . And you go, oh, well, that [ laughter and applause ] listen to this. A new article claims that people that work for trump are loyal to him in the media, but they actually whisper about him behind his back all the time. A few of them have even been caught doing it on camera. Here, take a look at this. Nations capital [ whispering ] trump sucks. Has reaped the rewards of government. [ whispering ] this guy sucks. Trump sucks big time. While the people have the costs. [ whispering ] come with me if you think trump sucks. Yeah, oh, yeah. Lets go. Hey, trump sucks. Trump sucks. Trump sucks. [ cheers and applause ] steve yeah jimmy i mean, they could have been more discreet about that. [ cheers and applause ] steve that was the inauguration, too, youd think. Jimmy just in time for summer, cocacola announced it is putting first and last names on their bottles for their share a coke campaign. [ light laughter ] because nothing says sharing like writing your full name on something. [ applause ] its like, this is ron johnson. But ill share, i guess. And finally, speaking of new beverages, starbucks Just Launched a new unicorn frappuccino. [ cheers ] unicorn frappuccino, its made with pink powder, mango syrup, and a sour blue drizzle. Look at this thing. Yeah. I guess now you wont need a a Snapchat Filter to throw up a a rainbow. [ laughter ] there you go. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, maybelline. Hey, guys. Welcome to the show. We have a fun one tonight. Before we start, i wanted to show this thing. I saw something cool this morning. Theres this Elementary School in washington, d. C. Called fields road elementary, okay . And they were having a a readathon fundraiser to help raise money for their school. But they had a very interesting way to get people to donate. They promised that if they reached their goal the principal and vice principal would faceoff in a a tonight showinspired game of egg russian roulette. [ light laughter ] steve ooh. Jimmy so these principals had to crack eggs over their heads in front of the whole school with all the kids watching. And we got a hold of the clip. Take a look at this. Here we go [ cheers ] all right its miss riccas turn jimmy yeah. You can do it, miss ricca [ cheers ] [ laughter ] there she goes [ cheers ] jimmy there we go. Thats what im talking about. [ cheers and applause ] thats fun for the kids, right . Steve awe. Jimmy its good to see their principal to do that. How fun was that . Well, get this. They raised 13,000. [ cheers and applause ] also, the readathon to get kids reading, thats a great thing. Well, we actually have a a surprise for those guys. Our friends over at ready whip, you know, their mission is all about sharing joy, they are going to match the 13,000 donation to your school. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations on raising 26,000 for your readathon steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i thought that was so cool. Honored, honored. Guys, we have a fantastic show tonight. She stars in the new movie, how to be a latin lover. The lovely salma hayek is on the show tonight. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were going to catch up with salma, and then we are going head to head in a fun new game called the ramen challenge. Steve ooh jimmy yeah. Plus here to talk about his new comedy tour, one of the funniest dudes out there, Mike Birbiglia is joining us. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hes got a special on netflix. Hes got the movie, dont think twice, which i know you love. You love dont think questlove i love that film. Jimmy oh, yeah. I loved it, too. Hes just hes just a great guy. And we have great, great music from clean bandit and zara larsson, you guys. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its a fun show. You guys, todays friday, right . Steve yeah. Jimmy and thats usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. You know, i check my inbox, i return some emails, and of course, i send out thank you notes. And i was just run [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind. I thought if you guys wouldnt mind, could i write out my weekly thank you notes right now . Is that cool with you . [ cheers and applause ] you guys are the best, best in the biz. Here we go. James, can i get some thank you notewriting music, please . Always in a great always in a great mood. [ light laughter ] steve mr. Woodchipper. Jimmy little chipper is what i call him. Hes always in a chipper mood. Steve yeah, i keep a a picture of him in my wallet so if im sad. Jimmy hes the first person i invite when i have a party. Steve really . Jimmy yeah. Steve i got to get james on there . Jimmy yeah, i invited him by saying, can you just can you just lurk behind my guests and stair at people . Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] you got to say, the party doesnt begin until james shows up. Jimmy hes fantastic. Hes great. [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, easter bunny at the White House Easter Egg Roll for looking like you just found out who was elected president. [ laughter and applause ] steve what . What . I cant believe it. Jimmy thank you, white house easter bunny [ light laughter ] for betting me know what would happen if the white rabbit hooked up with mimi from the drew carey show. [ laughter and applause ] insane way too look at it. Steve beautiful. Jimmy you can look at it either way. Steve yeah. He gets two notes. [ light laughter ] jimmy thank you, getting a a tax refund, for somehow making money that was already mine feel like a prize i won. You go, wait. [ laughter and applause ] thats my money. I dont understand that. Steve yeah. Oh, i see. Jimmy i got 100 back steve yeah, whoo. Jimmy of my own money. Yeah. [ light laughter ] thank you, starbucks new unicorn frappuccino, for looking like my little pony fell in a blender. Oh, well thats [ laughter and applause ] they got a name for it. Steve thats what i would call it. Jimmy unicorn, a better name. Jimmy thank you, business cards, for being a fancy way of saying, heres a rectangle with my name on it. Want to throw it out . [ laughter and applause ] dont mind if i do. [ light laughter ] thank you, Nature Valley granola bars. The taste is well worth finding crumbs on my keyboard for the next year. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh, nice thats a double one. Jimmy its worth it, right . Steve that was totally worth it. [ light laughter ] that crumbs for the next year was worth that joke. Totally. That was totally worth it. Jimmy it so worth it, man. Steve so worth it. Jimmy you should have heard the audience. Steve yeah. Jimmy you should have been there. I remember it. It was april 21st, 2017. Steve oh, i remember it. Oh, my gosh. Jimmy thats when i did the crumb joke. Steve oh, the crumb joke. They call it yeah. Jimmy everyone always asks me to tell the story. It is a famous story. [ light laughter ] so did the joke. Yeah, yeah, the granola bars [ mumbling ] crumbs on your keyboard. Steve right. Jimmy everyone laughed. They thought it was cool. Steve right. Jimmy then steve the topper . Wait, theres more after that great joke . Jimmy yeah, out of nowhere he pull im talking about myself in the third person. Steve yeah, yeah. You always do that. [ light laughter ] jimmy he flips it upside down. Steve right . Jimmy three crumbs fall out of it. Steve what [ light laughter ] thats nuts jimmy if you dont have an hdtv steve youd see this stuff. Jimmy anyway steve back to the crumbs. Jimmy i did the crumb joke, and i remember everyone in the audience giving me a standing ovation. Steve really . Jimmy and thats [ cheers and applause ] steve mr. Crumb himself, james thomas fallon. [ cheers and applause ] steve oh, no oh, no take that off look down below oh, my gosh oh oh jimmy its a great thing. It was a great, memorable day, april 21st, 2017. Steve that was nearly 100 years ago. [ light laughter ] jimmy do you remember how goofy we looked back then . Steve oh, my god. I was so young. Jimmy oh, my god. [ light laughter ] steve i hope you have one more. Jimmy would anyone like a a crumb . Steve oh. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you cant even barely see it, and im holding it. Thats a crumb. [ light laughter ] would you like one . She was like, this is good. [ cheers and applause ] you put this in the museum of [ cheers and applause ] no, you cant eat it. Do you want to eat it . All right, and here we go. Steve oh, no. Thats the 4 20 guy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, tony. I have no idea what it was, yeah. Pencil eraser . Here it is, man. Forever hell have steve yeah. Jimmy has the only proof steve its gonna become his step. Jimmy that we did that day. Steve like stardust. Jimmy i just i just found another crumb. Steve oh, my gosh. [ cheers ] jimmy no, no. Im good, man. Thank you, united, for saying nobody will be fired over last weeks dragging incident. Their punishment will be much worse, flying coach on united. And there you go. Thats steve heyoh jimmy there you go, everybody. Thanks those are my thank you notes. Well be right back with salma hayek, everybody [ cheers and applause ] well this smells like sunscreen and frustration. I had to get my coffee, jane lynch well what can we do to fix this . Wake up earlier . Awe, thats cute. No. Next time use masterpass. Add value. Order your coffee ahead. Speed past the line. Open the pool on time. Winning the morning. Priceless dont just buy it. Masterpass it. First you start with this. These guys. A place like shhh no. Found it and definitely lipton ice tea. Lots of it. A lipton meal is what you bring to it. And the refreshing taste of lipton iced tea. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. You stand out in a crowd. And are pulled together. You follow your own lead and show your strength. Always comfortable in your own skin. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx Award Winning interface. Award winning design. Award winning engine. The volvo xc90. The most awarded luxury suv of the century. Visit your volvo dealer to take advantage of our midsommar sales event offer. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an Academy Award and golden globe nominated actress, starring in the new film how to be a latin lover which opens in theaters friday april 28th. Please welcome the very talented, the beautiful, salma hayek [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh [ cheers and applause ] salma welcome back. So happy. I feel like at home here. Jimmy yes. Good, you should feel at home here. How is everything at home . How is the baby . Everybody is great. Jimmy yeah . Everybodys great, yeah. Thank god. Jimmy so, i saw this photo. I wanted to know whats real and whats not real . Are you in a hot air balloon, or no . Im in a hot air balloon, and thats our neighbor. [ laughter ] jimmy you currently now live in a hot air balloon. For this moment, yeah. Jimmy where was this and how did they serve you breakfast . I will tell you, because i wanted to take a special trip with my daughter. Just mommy and daughter. And i took her to morocco. Jimmy how cool are you . Which i love. And id never been in a hot air balloon, and so we had breakfast in the little basket in the hot air balloon. Jimmy but how did you do it . Did you set it up . I will explain. [ laughter ] it was very impressive. First of all, you see we have all this space on this side. Theres like four people like this, you know. Jimmy oh, yeah. The like operating and taking out the breakfast and all this. And but you have to block them so you can have this very special moment with your daughter. [ laughter ] jimmy its a tiny hot air balloon. How are you like just ignore this for a second . Like, i love you. Happy birthday. And yes, and it was wonderful. The only thing that was really concerned about is what happens if you want to go to the bathroom . [ laughter ] all of you that have kids, you know, they always pick the right time. Jimmy were in a hot air balloon, yeah. Just when we were landing, there some goats and i was really worried that we didnt hit the goats. And we almost did, but we didnt kill any goats. [ laughter ] and then we went down and petted . Petted . You say, petted . Jimmy you pet. Petted . Jimmy pet. Okay, past tense is not petted . [ laughter ] no, pet. Jimmy pet, yeah. You can pet it though, if you want to. [ laughter ] we pet the goats, and we were very stinky when we came back. Jimmy at least you didnt kill them, thats the best part. [ laughter ] but this is the cutest thing ever. Whats her name again . Valentina. Jimmy valentina gosh, shes gorgeous. Because of valentines day. Jimmy oh, my god, shes gorgeous. Now, your husband, how is he doing . Hes great. Jimmy hes french. Oui. Oui, oui, oui, francais. Jimmy so what language do you guys speak when youre around the house . Do you speak french or english, or we have decided that english is like switzerland. Its the neutral territory. Jimmy yes, of course. So i dont have all the control, he doesnt have all the control. So we speak in english with very bad accents both of us. [ laughter ] i dont know how my daughter between us with no accent. Because in the house its a a disaster. [ laughter ] jimmy is he trying to is he learning english from you . Let me tell you [ laughter ] the other day like a year ago, he said, we tease him about his accent, valentina especially. And he said, you know what, guys . Im going to get a dialect coach. Im going to get rid of the accent before you, whove been living in the states for like 67 years. Referring to me. [ laughter ] but he never mentioned it again, so i thought he didnt do it. Right . A couple of days ago, i am texting something and i see his phone and theres this message. Hi. This is elena. [ light laughter ] and if you want to improve your english, you have to practice. Do you want to practice now . [ laughter ] im mexican, you know . This is not going to go well. Jimmy yes. Dont mess i was so up i was so furious. And i said, well, obviously shes desperate, you know. So hes not calling her. [ laughter ] should i Say Something . I said im not going to say anything. I trust him. Im not going to say anything. Four hours later were eating, im cool and everything. Im acting, hi, baby, everythings okay. Im eating, and i go, who the hell is elena . [ laughter ] who the hell is elena . And hes like, i dont know, must be one of your cousins elena. I go, i dont know any elena jimmy oh, really, you dont know elena . And i go, you tell that elana, that i speak english you can practice english with me because she sends you a a message. And he goes, you mean elsa . Elsa, elena, whatever and he starts laughing. Its an app. [ laughter and applause ] [ sad trombone ] like siri. Her name is elsa. But dont get it because his french is still very strong. His accent. So elsa doesnt work. [ laughter ] jimmy there you go, yeah dont ever forget that, elsa if youre listening. No, maybe she works. She doesnt this time. Jimmy maybe she does, we dont know. But elena definitely doesnt. Elana jimmy youre out. [ light laughter ] i want to talk about how to be a latin lover. I mean, come on. You know how to be, come on. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, right. Im far from it. But man, oh, man, its a good comedy, super funny. What is his name again, the star . Eugenio derbez, i know his name is very hard. Jimmy hes been on the show. And, gosh he was so funny. Was he in the instructions not included. Jimmy not included. He was fantastic in that yes, hes so good. Jimmy and gosh, hes a a funny, funny comedian. Hes huge in latin america and im so happy to be part of this movie that finally the american audience are going to, you know, really discover who he is because hes hilarious. Jimmy hes brilliant. And lovely. Jimmy yeah. Explain the plot of this, basically. Basically he is hes my brother and hes a very lazy guy who never wanted to work and just wanted to be rich. And so he decided to go after women of advanced age with a a lot of money when he was young, and he caught one and he was with her for about 20 years. And in his time he got you know, he relaxed. [ laughter ] he doesnt look so hot anymore. Jimmy he got relaxed and she dumps him. Jimmy and then he has to start dating and he has to grow up. Jimmy yeah. I want to show everyone a clip. Heres salma hayek in, how to be a latin lover. Take a look at this. I just dont know what to do. I cant get a job because i dont have any experience and i cant get experience if i dont get a job. [ car horn ] hey, mom im here 5 00, i remembered. You have nothing to complain about. I thought youd be happy, i got a job. Turning my car into a a strippermobile is not a job. Whats a stripper . Its only 9 days. No its not. You get this trash off my car today today [ cheers and applause ] jimmy just his face, makes me laugh. Hes really good. Hes really funny. Jimmy this movie will make you laugh. You do something in the movie, you do a nice salsa dance. And you Say Something in the movie that basically you can turn any sad song into a salsa. You know, i do that in real life. I told him, lets put this in the movie because were very good friends and we were working out the relationship. We should put this in the movie that i do in real life, that when im sad, i take a sad song and i turn it into a salsa. Like the beatles say, take a a sad song and make it better. I do it into a salsa. [ laughter ] and it puts you in a good mood. I swear, you should try it. Jimmy well i was going over some sad songs backstage [ laughter ] just in case, just in case you wanted to try one. Maybe with the roots and try to this is one of the saddest songs. I dont even know if you know all by myself . [ laughter ] all by myself oh, yes, yes. Jimmy its a beautiful song. Very difficult song to sing jimmy no [ laughter ] hold up. First of all, im not elsa or elena. Its a nightmare. Jimmy dont talk to me like im elena, please. [ laughter ] is it eric carmen . Questlove eric carmen, yeah. Jimmy would you like to maybe just i can do any song, but dont know if i can sing it very well. I can turn a sad song into a a salsa, but you have to cut me some slack. Jimmy of course we will, we love you [ cheers and applause ] salma give me your water. You guys have to help me because i didnt sleep last night, guys. My voice is not good. I have to dance because i cannot turn it into a salsa without it. It is my body that turns it into a salsa. Jimmy okay, yes. Its not the voice. Its the body. Jimmy okay. Hold on, hold oh. I wish you had tequila instead of this thing. [ laughter ] cold water. Jimmy take mine. Take mine. Thats tequila. Hit me. [ laughter ] when i was young i never needed anyone and making love was just for fun [ cheers and applause ] those days are gone watch this. [ laughter ] when im alone [ cheers and applause ] when i dial the telephone theres no one home come on jimmy [ speaking spanish ] all by myself dont want to be all by myself anymore all by myself dont want to be all by myself anymore jimmy salma hayek, hey [ cheers and applause ] you know how to do it go and see how to be a latin lover in theaters april 28th. Dont leave me. Jimmy when we come back, salma hayek and i are competing in the ramen challenge stick around everybody [ cheers and applause ] raz, where are you . Guys. Im trapped, my boss wants me here. We are not leaving without you. Just go downstairs now. Rapunzel . look for my chr. That was fun. Wait till you see where were going. Introducing an allnew crossover. Toyota chr. Toyota. Lets go places. No splashing wait, so you got rid of verizon, just like that . Uh huh. I switched to tmobile, kept my phone everything on it oh, they even paid it off wow yeah, its nice that every bad decision doesnt have to be permanent now you can ditch verizon but keep your phone. Well even pay it off when you switch to tmobile. Now look what you made me do you and me baby it takes two bringing new moves to the Old School Time for the whole world to enjoy the view we can go left they can go right save me a dance for the end of the night when im with you its a party dont care where were going 1, 2, 3 get loose no it takes two to make a thing go right it takes two to make it out of sight. But youve never had em quite like this. At red lobsters lobster shrimp summerfest, the lobster and shrimp you love are teaming up in so many new ways. 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Were hanging out with salma hayak [ cheers and applause ] her new movie, how to be a a latin lover, is in theaters next friday. Salma and i are about to do the ramen challenge. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ramen challenge ramen challenge ramen challenge jimmy all right, heres how this works oh my gosh, you have to go first cause i dont know. It looks really complicated. [ laughter ] jimmy no, no, no. Its not, no, you can totally nail this, its easy. Our pal, chef david chang and this place called sun noodle, made us these special four foot long ramen noodles. [ laughter ] there are six of them in this bowl, three for each of us, and we have three shots of sake. You slurp up your whole noodle, then you take a shot. Where do they start though . This spot or the end . Jimmy no, not the end take it out of the jimmy you start with that part. Theres not some crazy thing jimmy theres not a trick, this is easy to do. [ laughter ] just slurping noodles, like, lady and the tramp. You saw, lady and the tramp. You start sucking, yourself. [ laughter and applause ] sometimes i suck and then i try jimmy what is going on no, slurping. Slurping. Slurping. Jimmy ill start slurping myself. Theres a difference between sucking and slurping . Jimmy yes, yes, yes whatever. Jimmy well do it on the commercial break. [ laughter ] you slurp the noodle, and then you take a shot. Whoever finishes all three first, wins. Oh, we have to do it at the same time. Jimmy yeah, and get our first noodle in position. Jimmy, you take it out of here, no . Jimmy its a noodle. You can your teeth can probably bite through it if you want to. But [ laughter ] how do you do this . Jimmy and its also customary i dont understand the stick part. [ laughter ] how do you suck with the stick in the middle . [ laughter ] i dont like things in my way when im sucking jimmy youll learn, youll learn youll figure it out gosh [ laughter and applause ] this is cheating. [ laughter ] i can imagine you in your house practicing jimmy no, no, no, no, no i dont [ laughter and applause ] for hours jimmy for hours . Trust me [ laughter ] [ rimshot ] lets get the sucking out of the way. [ laughter ] jimmy also, its customary to lock eyes with your opponent the whole time. Ready . Three, two, one, slurp. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] [ music speeds up ] [ cheers and applause ] [ bell dings ] jimmy wait, come on [ cheers and applause ] salma oh, my gosh jimmy theyre giving it to you dude you beat me [ speaking spanish ] [ laughter ] jimmy theyre giving it to you. Oh, my gosh im drunk jimmy that was fun, it tasted good too. [ laughter ] all right, i lost. I lost. No. Jimmy so im going to take the loss. What does the losing card say . Okay, he lost. [ laughter ] jimmy my losing prize. I get to lead an invisible marching band out of the studio, into the elevators, and out of the building. Roots, can we get some marching band music please . You have to go with a salsa march [ audience clapping along ] jimmy salma hayek everybody more tonight show after the break, stick around [ cheers and applause ] i dont care about the funny way you wear your hair someday youll let me put my comb up there til then youre beautiful and i just stare its my dale call. [engine revving sounds] if youre on a diet of taking it up a notch. Thats way better than my duck call. Drink diet dew. The only diet with dew in it. Schick hydro ® technology that transforms. Schick hydro ® protecting mankind, one face at a time. The best tour of italy is the at olive garden. Create your own tour of italy starting at 12. 99. Choose 3 of 9 of your favorites. Delicious new grilled chicken parmigiana. Always a favorite lasagna classico. And all the garden fresh salad and breadsticks you want. Have everything you love all on one plate. May you always get just what you want. 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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is an incredibly talented actor, writer, performer, comedian. We love him. Next month, this latest film dont think twice begins streaming on netflix. If you havent seen it, you have to check it out. Starting this august, he kicks off a brandnew comedy tour called the new one in berkley, california. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Mike Birbiglia. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Mike Birbiglia, its always great to see you. Its fantastic to see you. Now youre a writer, acclaimed writer director. I suppose. [ light laughter ] i want to tell you a story i had to resist telling backstage. Jimmy yeah. Questlove was so generous with my movie dont think twice. Saw it in the theater four or five times . Questlove yeah, maybe, yeah. [ light laughter ] and he texted me one night at 11 00 oclock at night. Questlove oh, no. And im thinking, am i going to make out with questlove . [ light laughter ] jimmy no, no, thats not thats not what youre thinking. [ talking over each other ] thats not what it was. Hes at the movie theater, and he goes youre not going to believe what happened. Jimmy i dont know, anything can happen with quest. He just gets into weird situations. He goes, he goes, im at the movie. Im seeing your movie for like, the third or fourth time, and he goes, there is a woman that came out of the movie crying and saying that was the worst movie ive ever seen. [ laughter ] totally true and questlove approached her and explained that she could not hate the movie if she was crying. That she that she might not like it, but she doesnt hate it because shes having an emotional reaction to it. And which i thought i was like thats the best Case Scenario if you go to a movie, is you go to a movie, you dont like the movie, you come out and questlove from the tonight show explains to you why youre wrong. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy thats worth your five bucks. Thats worth your 10 bucks right there. Thats a Premium Ticket right there. I think you get a regular movie ticket, you get a premium and then you get a questlove argues you out of your opinion ticket. [ light laughter ] jimmy youre all over netflix, though. So may 1st now this movie is going out. Yeah. Jimmy on netflix, but your comedy specials, youre all over the place. I got the thank god for jokes comedy special on there right now. And then i have a new i wrote a new show. Im going out, yeah, in 25 cities in the fall. Jimmy wow. Imgoing on tour. 25 cities and as you know, we talk about sleepwalk with me a lot, my first movie. Jimmy i love that movie, yeah. And the but i still sleepwalk. Jimmy it was based on the real thing. Its a true story. Jimmy do you go to a hotel . Yeah. So if you dont know the story, i had a serious sleep disorder i have a serious sleep disorder called rem behavior disorder. About ten years ago i jumped through a second story window and now i know [ laughter ] there is a whole movie about it. Thats called sleepwalk with me. Its very exciting that you dont know that because there is a whole there is so much more. Jimmy get ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Youre going to be crying, yeah. But it is a dangerous thing. So now like when i go to hotels, i literally for 25 cities, i got to call the hotel and convince them to like keep me on the first floor and i sleep in a sleeping bag up to my neck and i wear mittens so i cant open the sleeping bag. [ light laughter ] you know. And, yeah, and thats my life and, yeah. [ laughter ] there are details in my life that are both set ups and punch lines. [ light laughter ] jimmy oh my goodness. But i had one this fall. It was really scary. A few times a year i still have, you know, incidents. I was in oklahoma, weatherford, oklahoma, which is two hours west of oklahoma city, which is a place they didnt bother to name. They were like oklahoma city. [ light laughter ] and were from a more sophisticated city called new york city. And i was staying at a a oneandahalf star hotel [ laughter ] and i check in. [ light laughter ] jimmy i love how they caved on the half star. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy its not that bad. And i had been driving all day. I flew into dallas because google maps told me it was a a four hour drive to weatherford, but it was a lie. Jimmy yeah. Google maps is like the uncle you have who isnt going on the trip but has a lot of opinions about the trip. [ laughter and applause ] its like, yeah, its four hours. Jimmy you got to take it that way. You take 9w all the way. Yeah, yeah, you go to waffle house. Best waffles. [ light laughter ] but i arrive and then there werent a ton of people. I mean, at the show it was like, you have done these college shows. Theres a giant gymnasium. Jimmy yeah. And theres not a lot of people because, its like, theres not a lot of people in the town. And then there is not a lot of people that are driving 100 miles to see the 75th lead on orange is the new black. You know, they might make a a road trip for crazy eyes, but theyre not like jimmy not for you. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy yeah. So its like small. And then i check into a a oneandahalf star hotel. And they had me on they gave away my room. It was like 11 00 oclock at night. They gave away my second floor room, my first floor room and they had me on the second floor. I walked in this room and im like, i guess i might die. Like i really dont know. I dont know how its going to go down. So i take like a chest of drawers and i push it up against the window because i you know, i dont know what else to do. And then i get my sleeping bag and i just hope for the best. Had a dream that im in the you know the scene in Indiana Jones and the temple of doom where the walls are coming in. Jimmy yeah. I had that dream. Yeah, and i get up. I sprint towards the door. And when i have these dreams, theyre as real as me talking to you right now. And so i sprinted for my life, but my legs were bound by the sleeping bag. [ light laughter ] and, so, it was like i catapulted into the like a a reverse catapult into the floor and im bleeding. My face is bleeding. I wake up like, im not in the temple of doom. [ light laughter ] im in oklahoma. Okay. [ laughter and applause ] and then i and i go and i go back to bed and i drive back to dallas in the morning and i can only imagine the housekeeper walked in, in the morning and looked at the bloody bed sheets and the chest of drawers against the windows and thought, i guess when youre 75th lead on orange is the new black, you think youre a big deal. [ laughter ] jimmy Mike Birbiglia. [ cheers and applause ] for tickets to see mike on tour visit birbigs. Com. Clean bandit and zara larsson perform for us next. Stick around, everybody. Mike birbiglia [ cheers and applause ] you love them together, but youve never had em quite like this. At red lobsters lobster shrimp summerfest, the lobster and shrimp you love are teaming up in so many new ways. Like new coastal lobster and shrimp, with a lobster tail with butter and herbs, sweet, smoky bbq red shrimp, and shrimp crusted with. Get this. Cape cod kettle chips. Or try lobster and shrimp overboard. A dish this good. Makes you this hungry. Its the highlight of the season, and cant last. So hurry in. Um, i cant have happen what happened t time. Ahem. Heres my card. Im sure you know your profits are down 8 . So, just let me know if you want to change that. I believe in you break through , break through bill assumed his mayo was the best choice. Assume nothing. Just like the leading brand, kraft real mayo is made with high Quality Ingredients at a price you can feel good about no wonder kraft is so good. Rumor confirmed. Theyre playing. What . We gotta go. Where . San francisco. When . Friday. We gotta go. [ tires screech ] any airline. Any hotel. Any time. Go where you want, when you want with no blackout dates. [ muffled music coming from club. Blue monday by new order. Cheers. ] [ music and cheers get louder ] the travel rewards credit card from bank of america. Its travel, better connected. Thousands of barrels lay silent. Of jim beam,ank of america. Aging, building a fuller smoother flavor that only comes from being aged four long years. At jim beam, our history is made from the inside. How will you make yours . And were proud to reveal that jim beam black has been awarded the worlds highest rated bourbon. Their words not ours, make history. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx why give it headlightsver on a like jewels . Filled with them . A body that feels sculpted . Why give it an interior where even the dash is cut and sewn by hand . Its simple you can build a car. Or you can build a cadillac. I she is real. [ sinister laugh ] you have no idea what you have unleashed. Shes the ultimate evil. [ dramatic music ] the mummy. Rated pg13. Abreak through your allergies. . Try new Flonase Sensimist allergy relief instead of allergy pills. Its more complete allergy relief in a gentle mist experience youll barely feel. Using unique mistpro technology, new Flonase Sensimist delivers a gentle mist to help block six key inflammatory substances that cause your symptoms. Most allergy pills only block one. And six is greater than one. New Flonase Sensimist changes everything. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonights music guests are a grammy Award Winning trio and an international popstar, whose collaboration has wrapped up over 73 million views on youtube. Performing symphony, please welcome, clean bandit and zara larsson. [ cheers and applause ] ive been hearing symphonies before all i heard was silence a rhapsody for you and me and every melody is timeless life was stringing me along then you came and you cut me loose was solo singing on my own now i cant find the key without you and now your song is on repeat and im dancin on to your heartbeat and when youre gone i feel incomplete so if you want the truth i just wanna be part of your symphony will you hold me tight and not let go symphony like a love song on the radio will you hold me tight and not let go im sorry if its all too much every day youre here im healing and i was runnin out of luck i never thought id find this feeling cause ive been hearing symphonies before all i heard was silence a rhapsody for you and me and every melody is timeless and now your song is on repeat and im dancin on to your heartbeat and when youre gone i feel incomplete so if you want the truth i just wanna be part of your symphony will you hold me tight and not let go symphony like a love song on the radio will you hold me tight and not let go ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah and now your song is on repeat and im dancin on to your heartbeat and when youre gone i feel incomplete so if you want the truth oh i just wanna be part of your symphony will you hold me tight and not let go symphony like a love song on the radio symphony will you hold me tight and not let go symphony like a love song on the radio will you hold me tight and not let go [ cheers and applause ] jimmy clean bandit, zara larsson, catch them on tour now. Theyre on tour. Well be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] you knew when you cast it theyd lock you up. But that didnt stop you. You traveled far and wide, and others followed. Mothers, daughters, sisters, lions. And because together you roared so loud, i know my Voice Matters today. This summer, Come Celebrate new york states equal rights history. Download our guide to plan your trip. Goldvo as a goldman sachshose companiepresident ,legal activity helped destroy our economy. Phil murphy made his fortune in a rigged system. Now the jersey machine has lined up with murphy and his millions. Leaders should stand for the people, not the political machine. As a prosecutor, at treasury, and as head of the brennan center, ive taken on the powerful from the mafia, to the nra, to the dark money that poisons our politics. Ill be nobodys governor but yours. From the time i was pregnant with him, had so much life and energy in him. He wanted out, and he wanted to conquer the world. Right now, quintons goal is to be a doctor. Its not easy being a single parent with three kids and having to provide for them. But my son will be an amazing doctor, and hell help people that are less fortunate. No matter where you are in your college journey, sallie mae can help you find the money you need. Having a baby. Caring for your parents. Learning you have a condition. These are moments when people realize that where you get your medicine matters. And they look to us. Cvs pharmacy. For advice. And ways to save money. Plus, get up to fifty extrabucks each year just for filling prescriptions. Switching is easy. Were here for you. Join us. At cvs pharmacy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to salma hayek, Mike Birbiglia, clean bandit and zara larsson and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great weekend. I hope to see you tomorrow. Thank you very much byebye, everybody announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight tracy morgan, from better call saul, actor michael mckean, u. S. Senator from nebraska, ben sasse, featuring the 8g band with mark guiliana. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlem, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] seth good evening, everybody. Im seth myers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. The Washington Post this evening reported that President Trump revealed highly classified information to the Russian Foreign minister and ambassador during their closed door meeting last week. You have to be kidding me . How can you let highly classified information fall in
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