Roots crew. Questlove 532 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh thank you very much welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] youre here. This is the show. Got a great show for you tonight. But first, heres what people are talking about. Last night was the big season premier of dancing with the stars and at one point, two protesters rushed the stage as olympic ryan lochte got his scores. Security stopped them within about ten seconds. Or as lochte put it, they kidnapped me, put a gun to my head and dropped me off at the grand canyon. [ laughter and applause ] of course the big story in politics continues to be Hillary Clintons recovery from pneumonia, and yesterday, hillary tweeted to her supporters that like anyone whos been home sick from work, shes just anxious to get back out there. [ light laughter ] and those people said, no, were pretty happy just staying home and watching netflix. [ laughter and applause ] we dont want to get back out there. Meanwhile, sources say that hillary has a tendency to get dehydrated, and her aides have a hard time getting her to drink more water. Or as the Trump Campaign put it, hillary has a drinking problem. [ laughter and applause ] sad sad everyone just wants hillary to rest and get better. In fact, yesterday, joe biden told some of hillarys Campaign Workers that hes also had pneumonia before, and that if the doctor tells you to take three days off, you should actually take six days off. [ light laughter ] of course, that advice only really works if your job is vice president. [ laughter and applause ] because six days off of work yesterday, joe biden tried to defend Hillary Clinton by noting that he had pneumonia before, too. And several other clinton supporters did the same, revealing what medical problems theyve dealt with. For instance, president obama said, one time i had a stomach bug that sidelined me for almost a week. And Bernie Sanders said, ive had my fair share of Health Issues that kept me out of the game. Ive had consumption, scarlet fever, smallpox, gout i could go on. [ cheers and applause ] next senator harry reid said, i once fell off a treadmill. It took a few days to recover. [ light laughter ] and Bernie Sanders again said, dont even get me started about my bout with croup, lockjaw, trench foot. Something they call prairie shakes. I mean, you name it, ive had it. [ laughter ] hillarys running mate [ cheers and applause ] hillarys running mate tim kaine said, my doc put me on bed rest one time when i pulled a muscle in my back. And finally Bernie Sanders got back up and said, ive also had tent fever, i had the old mole, loose neck. Remember bubonic plague . I started the bubonic plague and only the top 1 of the worlds population survived. The top 1 always survives they always do, the top 1 [ cheers and applause ] guys, fashion week is still going on here in new york city, and the Carnegie Deli just debuted a special sandwich that will be free for any fashion model that can finish the whole thing. [ laughter ] we actually have a picture of the sandwich. Take a look. [ laughter ] no one they havent found a a model they havent found a model yet that can finish the whole sandwich. Well, check this out. A spokesman for the royal family said that Prince William and Kate Middletons upcoming family trip to canada will be a a largely casual and highly outdoors event. Then normal people said, so, camping . [ laughter ] youre going camping . [ british accent ] very casual, highly outdoors. I dont know what to think about this, but a man in norway did you see this, higgins . Steve yeah. Jimmy a man in norway recently wrote on Ikeas Facebook page that he got his privates stuck in a small hole in the plastic chair he uses in the shower. [ laughter ] ikea said that they would take his complaints very seriously, and he said, oh, im not complaining. [ laughter and applause ] just wanted to let you know. I did it. Steve small hole. Jimmy all right. [ light laughter ] finally, i saw that Rob Kardashians fiance, blac chyna, posted a photo of her sonogram yesterday on instagram. You can tell the baby is a a kardashian, because it actually took the picture itself. Its like [ camera click ] there you go. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] danke schoen darling danke schoen i wanna thank you for walks down lovers lane i can see hearts carved on a tree letters intertwined for all time yours and mine that was fine danke schoen [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what im talking about. That is entertainment legend, wayne newton sitting in with the roots tonight. [ cheers and applause ] wayne wayne newton, come on oh, im so happy. You guys, you can catch him in his new original show, wayne newton up close and personal at ballys las vegas. I am honored to have you on the show. Thank you so much for being here. Its a great thrill to be here and i got to tell you, i came from my annual music lesson from this incredible band. Jimmy oh, theyre unbelievable, right . I mean, the roots. [ cheers and applause ] they know how to do it. You know, i was looking at we were looking at some stats today and looking up things about you. You played 30,000 shows in las vegas . Yes, as a matter of fact, i just wouldnt leave. [ light laughter ] jimmy thats the trick. Yeah. They love you there and they love you here as well. Welcome, and thank you very much again. [ cheers and applause ] wayne newton. How fun, how amazing. Guys, we have a big week of shows ahead. Tomorrow night, the very funny kevin james will be here. Steve whoa [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hes the best. And were going to play a game of slapjack, which is very interesting. Do you remember the last time he was here, he broke a bottle over my head . Steve yes. [ light laughter ] jimmy i knew it was fake glass steve fake glass, but it still hurt. Jimmy he really broke it over my face, yeah. Steve nows your chance to get even. Jimmy no, im okay. Then we have very exciting on thursday, republican president ial nominee donald trump will be dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] following his appearance, on monday night, democratic president ial nominee, Hillary Clinton will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] how exciting is that . Then on friday, miley cyrus will be here. Steve whoa jimmy we have a ton of fun stuff planned with her. You dont want to miss it. But first, she is such a a talented actress. From the new oliver stone movie, snowden, Shailene Woodley is on the show tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats our pal. Plus, you cant get better. Shes a comedy legend. Shes the author of the new book, in such good company. The one and only Carol Burnett is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] steve come on jimmy amazing book, amazing stories. Shes so funny. Later in the show, carol and i are going head to head in a a game called the whisper challenge. Very fun. Plus, we have music from Country Music superstar, jason aldean. Hey [ cheers and applause ] come on. Hes a stud, hes a stud. Hey, guys, it is time to take a a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. Its time for pros and cons. Here we go. Pros and cons and pros and cons and pros jimmy tonight, well be taking a look at the pros and cons of the trumpputin bromance. Steve ooh. Jimmy theyve been praising each other in the news lately. Apparently they like each other. So lets take a look at the pros and cons of the trumpputin bromance. Here we go. Pro putin has the green light to contact trump at all hours of the night. Con or as he calls it, a puty call. [ laughter and applause ] steve really . Jimmy he calls it that. Steve thats what he calls it . Jimmy yeah. Steve trump or putin . Jimmy i dont know. [ light laughter ] pro hanging out in putins man cave. Con finding out its an actual cave filled with men. [ laughter and applause ] its like, dont get involved with that. Its scary. Pro Vladimir Putin and donald trump have been discussing various serious issues. Con like whether to call themselves vladonna or vlump. [ laughter and applause ] steve vlump . Jimmy i like vlump. Steve yeah, vlump. Jimmy vlump. Pro putin giving donald his favorite horse as a gift. Con two days later, hearing donald announce trump steaks is back in business. [ laughter and applause ] steve coincidence. Coincidence. Jimmy thats not good. Pro they can watch tv and talk about Hillary Clinton. Con or as putin calls that, netflix and hill. [ applause ] pro donald trump says he wants to see the kremlin. Con but hes afraid of getting it wet or feeding it after midnight. No, thats [ light laughter ] thats gremlins. Steve thats gremlins. Yeah. [ gremlin noise ] [ light laughter ] jimmy did you just do an impression of a gremlin . Steve yeah. [ gremlin noise ] thats gizmo, man. Jimmy yeah. Thats gizmo, man. Steve yeah, man. I love, gizmo, man. Jimmy gizmoman. Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy pro putin sends Political Prisoners to a place where no one can find them. Con its the same place trump sends his tax returns. Steve really . Jimmy whatever works. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, pro hearing trump tell putin, oh my god, youre the best. Con hearing putin tell trump, ermagehrd, your the borscht. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. That is the pros and cons, everybody. We will be right back with Shailene Woodley [ cheers and applause ] this is the story of how mr. Bonejangles met his match. Mr. Bonejangles was always looking for something. But he never found it. Until one day. Seven in dog time. Exactly what he didnt know he was looking for fell right in his lap. Was he expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price . No, of course not, hes a dog. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. Initiating retrieval sequence. Target acquired. Dang it ah come on astronauts can vote from space. Take a break from the election with red or blue tea. Make time for snapple. Take on any road with intuitive allwheel drive. The nissan rogue, murano and pathfinder. Now get 0 apr for 72 months, plus 500 bonus cash. And were partnering with cigna to help save lives. We are the tv doctors of america. By getting you to a real doctor for an annual checkup. 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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy whoa see see rider. That was fantastic. Oh, i love that. Thank you. Jimmy thats the jam right there. Is that the one is that the is that your closer . Thats what i open with. Jimmy thats your opener . Oh, my gosh. Come on. Thats unbelievable. If you open with that then that must be some awesome show. Guys, our first guest is a a golden globe award nominated actress starring in the new oliver stone film, snowden, which opens in theaters this friday. Please welcome the very lovely Shailene Woodley, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what im talking about. Hi. Jimmy welcome. Im so happy to be here. Jimmy welcome back to the show. I love having you here. Thank you. Jimmy you look gorgeous. Thank you for coming back to the show. I want to talk about snowden. We want to talk about the movie, but i want to talk about your summer, because youve had a really interesting summer. Ive had such a big summer. Its been a big summer. Jimmy it really has, right . Yeah. Jimmy i mean, just life changing. Yeah, it has been life changing. Ive met a lot of people. Ive seen a lot of things. I actually, i spent the last two and a half months in an rv, which was kind of radical, living in an rv, which ive never done before. Jimmy i want to talk to you about this because im very ive never done rv and im very interested in doing this. Maybe. [ laughter ] maybe like a life change, just living in an rv. I might. But no, i am interested. That or an airstream. But this is an rv right here. No, this is like a proper okay, so basically, we started this caravan across the country, the dnc, got 500 people to join it was rally groovy but i was like, hey mom, can i borrow our 17yearold motor home for a week to do this adventure . And she was like, yeah, of course. That week turned into a two and a half month road trip of sorts. We still have her rv actually. We havent given it back. Jimmy look at how cool you look driving. [ light laughter ] the peace train right there, yeah. It rained a little and got the peace train part kind of got a little droopy. Jimmy how many people were in the rv . How many people can you fit in an rv . How big is the rv . Well, i mean, you can fit shoulder to shoulder if you wanted to. Comfortably how man people can you fit . Jimmy like a clown car . 400 people, we fit. I think at most we had maybe, nine people or ten people in at once. At minimum, there was always four of us. But you get to know someone really well when youre living in tight quarters like that. Jimmy you really do, yeah. And no showers. I mean, its a little complicated. Jimmy where do you go to the camp sites, cause really, im really interested in this. No, you can literally go anywhere in an rv. So i grew up camping in an rv so i was very comfortable with it, but a lot of my friends who i was with at the start, if i were on night shift and they woke up at say 3 00 a. M. When i parked somewhere, and theyre like where are we and im like, oh, were just on the side of the road. What do you mean wear were on the side of the road . Like, oh, just look out the window. And you can just find like a a dirt patch on the side of the freeway and pull over. You can sleep there. You can sleep in a walmart parking lot. We slept in Union Station in d. C. Jimmy a walmart parking lot . Like just park at a walmart . Yes, you can park at a a walmart. Jimmy really . Truck stops. Yeah, the whole shebang. Jimmy is that legal . Does walmart let you do that . Well, i mean like, ive never asked. Hey, walmart, can i park . [ light laughter ] is that okay . Jimmy do you see other rvs when you go there . Oh, yeah. Every walmart will generally have an rv or a cargo van in its parking lot at night. [ light laughter ] jimmy thats fascinating. I was doing shows in different colleges around the country, so i know walmart is amazing. But new york city is it . Jimmy i love all that stuff, kmart, walmart, any mart. Yeah, im in. [ laughter ] im fascinated by those giant stores. Theyre giant. They are giant. So are their parking lots. Jimmy these kids after this college thing, i go where do you hang out . Do you guys go to like, you know, the rat killers, some name of like a bar . They go, we go to walmart. I go, you hang out at walmart . Wait where is this . Jimmy in like the middle of the country somewhere. [ light laughter ] but it wasnt the first time i heard this. A lot of communities that i have because i grew up in l. A. So i didnt know this. A lot of communities, really walmarts are kind of the center of the community. Jimmy yeah. They depend on walmart for food, for clothing, for everything. Like their super store. Jimmy and then you can just park there and just hang out. I thought costco was big, but walmart is like five costcos in one. Jimmy ive never been to a a costco. What . Jimmy i know. Really. Costco is the best. Jimmy i know well, calm down. [ laughter ] i dont know if i would want i mean, im not saying why would i want to go to a costco . Because you can get everything super sized and it will last so much longer and its so much cheaper. Jimmy i dont want too much of anything. Okay, thats fair. [ laughter ] im a minimalist, so jimmy my mom and dad, i think they went to a costco once, and it was like they were preparing for the end of the world. I was like we had so many paper towels that it was almost like a corn maze for my house to get through. I go, this is too many paper towels. It was just stacked. But you save so much money. I guess im all about and they treat their employees really well. I just think costco is a cool company. Jimmy alright, ill have to check it out. I mean, im not sure what id get there but i think my mom got a giant thing of ketchup. They have giant things of ketchup. Jimmy and i go, are we starting a carnival . Whats going on . Why would we between you and dad did you start a carnival . Jimmy we started a a carnival, yeah. How was it . Jimmy my dad is p. T. Barnum. [ laughter ] um, very famous. We did made a lot of money. What a life ive had. It all makes sense. Jimmy it all makes sense now, yeah. And im a clown. Yeah. We currently drive around in an rv, me and my family, theres 500 people in my family. I want to talk about snowden. Im very interested in this. Oliver stone, im interested in him as well. But did this story just interest you, and you go, you play snowdens girlfriend. Yeah, so snowden had been with lindsay, the character that i play for a decade when he decided to do what he did a a few years ago, but very few of us know the story of their relationship and in fact know anything about Edward Snowden as a human. We all know the narrative that we heard or read through journalism when his story broke out a few years ago, but we dont know snowdens narrative and this movie really explores that in an unbiased way. Jimmy and did you meet this his girlfriend did you meet her in real life . I did. I met her three months after we commenced production. Which was so she came to set one day while we were filming and i was like, oh, i hope she doesnt watch me pretending to be her pretending to be this other character. It was really intimidating. Jimmy yeah, because, well, did you like study video or what or how would you imitate her . She had old social media posts that i sort of stalked kind of. She was she is a a selfportrait photographer so i saw her photography and the blogs that went along with her photos, but its kind of hard to base a character, like a a grounded character, yeah, on a two dimensional sort of cyber screen and on social media, you can be anyone you want to be. But oliver stone had met with her, so the character thats in the movie is sort of based around his observations and conversations with her. Jimmy and how was oliver stone . He came on the show once and was really interesting. Yeah, hes so interesting. The thing with oliver, i was so quiet on this movie set in comparison to other film sets because i just wanted to learn so much. His brain works in an unprecedented way of most of us have to think out, like propel ourselves to think outside the box. Oliver stones brain just naturally thinks outside of the box and hes constantly looking at things from novel perspectives and it was just a a really fascinating intellectual experience. Jimmy yeah, it was a very fascinating movie. I want to show a clip here. Heres Shailene Woodley and joseph gordonlevitt, who is also great, in snowden. Take a look at this. A lot of people are depending on me. More so than anyone else . Yes. No. This is bull. We didnt come to hawaii for you to heal, did we . Theres never going to be a a less stressful job out here. Look, i feel like im made to do this, and if i dont do it, then i dont know anybody else that can. Its like im im on a a trajectory that i cant turn back from. You can always turn back. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Shailene Woodley, everybody. Snowden hits theaters this friday. We will be right back with Carol Burnett. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] is that icet . Nope, its lemonade. Is that icet . Lemonade. Icet . Whats with these people, man . Lemonade, read the sign. Lemonade. Read it. Ok. Delicious. Icet at a Lemonade Stand . Surprising. Whats not surprising . How much money marin saved by switching to geico. Yo, icet its lemonade, man fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. Is depression more than sadness . Its a tangle of multiple symptoms. Trintellix vortioxetine is a prescription medicine for depression. Trintellix may start to untangle or help improve the multiple symptoms of depression. For me, trintellix made a difference. Tell your healthcare professional right away if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. Trintellix has not been studied in children. Do not take with maois. Tell your healthcare professional about your medications, including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications to avoid a potentially lifethreatening condition. Increased risk of bleeding or bruising may occur especially if taken with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin, or blood thinners. Manic episodes or vision problems may occur in some people. May cause low sodium levels. The most common side effects are nausea, constipation and vomiting. Trintellix did not have Significant Impact on weight. Ask your healthcare professional if trintellix could make a difference for you. Yoyeah, i do. E . You guys are working on some pretty big stuff over there, right . Like a new language for crazybig, worldchanging machines. Well, not me specifically. I work on the industrial side. So i build the worldchanging machines. I get it. You cant talk because its super highlevel. No, i actually do build the machines. Blink if what youre doing involves encrypted data transfer. Wait, what . Wowwww. Wow . What wow . There is no wow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. Not only is our next guest a a tony and Emmy Award Winning actress. Shes also a best selling author, whose latest book, in such good company, 11 years of laughter, mayhem, and fun in the sand box, in stores now. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Carol Burnett. [ cheers and applause ] carol. Carol burnett, welcome back to the show. Thank you. Jimmy thank you so much for coming back to the show. Well, i have i have to promise you the two times i was on, i kept throwing stuff in your face. Im not going to do it tonight. Jimmy thank you. Alright, good, yeah. Thank you. Im going to do this. [ audience aws ] jimmy that was the best. See, im so lucky. Thank you. You, uh, yeah uh congrats on everything, and congrats on the book. Thank you. Jimmy i want to talk about, in such good company. This studio for you has a lot of history. This is your first talk show appearance was here, right . First talk show appearance it was back in the covered wagon days with jack parr. Jimmy thats right. And then also when Johnny Carson was in new york. Jimmy thats right that was here. Yeah. And i was i was always very nervous around johnny. Jimmy oh, really . Yeah, you know, because when you come out and you sit on that couch, you have to score. Jimmy yeah you know you got to make a joke, and i im not a jokester, you know. [ laughter ] im not. And so [ laughter ] and i decided without telling johnny that i would be the worlds worst interview. Well, so what happened was he he would say to me, well, you say to me you say to me, say, carol, arent you very excited about to be here in new york, promoting your book . Jimmy okay, good, ready . Go ahead. Jimmy carol, are you very excited to be here in new york promoting your book . Yes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy would you would you . And then he would go on again and again and i would go, no. [ laughter ] jimmy are you staying a a long time . Then he caught on. Jimmy oh, yeah. And then he, you know, he would go on with this huge, huge question that went on forever. Again, maybe. Jimmy oneword answers . One word answers. Jimmy oh, its so hard. Its difficult like that. But it worked. It was fun. Jimmy oh yeah, thats a a good bit. Yeah, it was fun. Jimmy theres so many fun stories in this book that i dont even know where to even start, but one thing i was looking at that made me laugh is one of your schedules, typical week of the show of the Carol Burnett show and you have 12 00 no, 10 00, costume fittings at bob mackeys workplace. I mean, bob mackey doing costumes dancers, 12 00 p. M. To 1 00 p. M. , lunch. Amc. I was like, amc . Was that i had to watch all my children. Jimmy yeah, thats [ laughter ] amc is all my children. I was like, amc wasnt all my children. Jimmy your soaps. Because you couldnt tape it then. You know, so i had lunch was surrounded by, you know, i had my sandwich and see what erica kane was up to. [ laughter ] jimmy i love that. I grew up my mom used to watch all the soaps. Ryan hope, all my children, general hospital. Yeah. Jimmy we did all the abc shows. I really admire them. I mean, its instant acting that they have to do and they learn 20 pages for the next day. Its amazing. Jimmy and it was a giant, giant rating. I mean, the world was watching. Luke and lauras wedding oh, gosh. Jimmy was like the cover of magazines. I was like this is a soap opera. I know. Jimmy its so fun, but i just love that. You talk about in here, you wanted to always do the show as kind of you never wanted to keep the audience waiting. Thats right. Thats right. But because i came from live theater, and live television, so i didnt want to keep the studio audience waiting, so we would change clothes real fast, change the scenery. I used to make a bet with the stage hands that i could do a a skin out change before they could move that couch over there because i wanted that feel, you know . So, if the microphone might come into the shot or something, dont stop. Keep going, you know . And make it feel like a live show. Jimmy well, i have a a perfect example of this, and you guys are if you havent seen this clip, youre going to go nuts. It is youre doing a sketch where you had the jackson 5 on. Its a musical finale and the jackson 5 and we were in a a school room and im this kind of strict teacher. Yeah. Jimmy and i was just going to say what happens, but well, theres an earthquake. Yeah. A real earthquake jimmy a real earthquake. While were doing the number in the studio. Jimmy and you just keep rolling along with the sketch and i would be freaking out, like screaming. I would be like, oh my god, stop the sketch, did anyone feel that . Not you. But youve got to watch Michael Jacksons face. And watch how fast and how funny Carol Burnett is during this sketch right here. Watch this. Abc. Very good. You know, fellas, this is no visiting, no visiting. The earth just moved. [ laughter and applause ] you see what can happen when you Pay Attention . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats how you do it. That is exactly how you do it. Thats so good. Oh, my goodness. Michael freezes. Michaels, like, im not doing the sketch. Im want to get out of here. Oh, i just love it so much. Theres that and theres a a million other Great Stories in this book, in such good company. Its out now and youre also doing a live show at the Beacon Theater. Yeah, friday and saturday night. Jimmy friday and saturday night. You go to ticket master. Or the box office, yes. Jimmy its sold out already, but i think theres a a couple tickets. Mel brooks had the same problem. He came on the show and he was like, i booked your show months in advance before we sold tickets. Now were sold out, so i dont really want to do your show, but anyway, its the same. But if you can get a ticket, go see Carol Burnett and the audience asks you questions. Yeah, i never know what theyre going to say or ask. Im flying without a net. But thats the way ive always done it. Jimmy and youre producer suggested that, right . Yeah, i didnt to do it at first and he said, carol, youve got to get out there in front of the audience before you get into all those characters and let the audience get to know you, and i was terrified and i said, were going to tape it . And i said, what if nobody asks a question . Or worse, what if somebody did and i didnt have an answer . Jimmy yeah. You know, but after about three or four weeks when the show got going, i started to enjoy it. Because it was off the cuff and, you know, i never knew what anybody was going to do. Jimmy one of the best parts of the show and so funny and i just loved it. I want to get to know you a a little bit better by playing a game with you. This is a came called the whisper challenge. Oh, i dont have to throw anything in your face . Jimmy please dont. [ light laughter ] but if you feel like it, you can go ahead and do it. Theres no water in there. Stick around, Carol Burnett and i are playing the whisper challenge when we get back. [ cheers and applause ] i have to make sure theres no liquid around. Man, im glad aflac pays cash. Aflac isnt Major Medical enough . No whos gonna help cover the holes in their plans . Aflac like rising copays and deductibles. Aflac or help pay the mortgage . Or child care . Aflaaac and everyday expenses . Aflac learn about one day pay at aflac. Com boat blurlbrlblrlbr i have to tell you something. Dad, one second i was driving and then the next. They just didnt stop and then. Im really sorry. I wrecked the subaru. I wrecked it. Youre ok. Thats all that matters. vo a lifetime commitment to getting them home safely. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Alright, hows this for a tv show. Sous chef. Lawyer by day, prepcook by night. Also, his name is sous. No. Sloppy joseph. A middleaged man whos trying to get his life together, but he cant hes to sloppy. Huhhh no here you go. I got this. I get cash back so its like everythings on sale. With the blue cash everyday card from American Express you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Everythings on sale a Home Shopping show takes place on a sailboat. Thats the one banana boat dessert on me. Look at you being all lactose tolerant. Its more than cash back. Its backed by the service and security of American Express. Of being there for my sons winning shot. That was it for me. Thats why im quitting with nicorette. Only nicorette mini has a patented fast dissolving formula. It starts to relieve sudden cravings fast. Every great why needs a great how. The Bud Light Party why is for everyone. Men bar crowd yeah women bar crowd woo people of all genders we dont care well sell you beer. Well sell you a beer any day of the week. Steel mill workers yeah hes a racebaiting, xenophobic, religious bigot. Sage. Donald trump is a phony, a fraud. Hes not a serious adult. I cant vote for donald trump given the things that he said. Trump should not be supported. I believe hes disqualified himself to be president. I just cannot support donald trump. Big oil polluters. They have a friend in pennsylvania. Millionaire pat toomey. Toomey voted to protect their special tax breaks. Saving Oil Companies twentyfour billion dollars. And Big Oil Polluters have given toomey seven hundred thousand dollars in campaign contributions. Tax breaks for them. Campaign contributions for him. Pat toomey. Hes helping Big Oil Polluters and millionaires. Not the rest of us. Lcv victory fund is responsible for the content of this advertising. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy talented guy, wayne newton. How many instruments do you play . How many instruments . Jimmy yeah. Thank you for not asking how well i play them. I play 13 all total. Jimmy unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] carol, again, thank you so much for being here. Now, you have your new book here, its called called in such good company its in stores now. I like to play a game. This is called the whisper challenge. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] now the whisper challenge. Jimmy now, the whisper challenge works like this. Im trying. One person puts the headphones on with loud music playing, okay . Now, the other person then picks up a card and reads the random phrase on the card, okay . Person wearing the headphones has to try and guess what they just said. By reading your lips . Jimmy yeah, by reading my lips. It will be really loud music. Okay. Jimmy okay, good. So you go first, here we go. And then, let me know, its on. [ laughter ] it works. Jimmy it worked . Okay, good. It worked. [ laughter ] jimmy were having an earthquake. Alright alright, ready . Butternut squash. Do it again. [ light laughter ] jimmy butternut squash. Butternut squash . Jimmy yes [ cheers and applause ] fantastic yes thats right you were good. Jimmy that was good. You were good. Jimmy fantastic. This is going to work out fan this is going to work out fine. Youre good at this game. Absolutely. Jimmy youre a good partner. Oh. Okay. Jimmy yeah. Hut, hut, hike. [ laughter ] jimmy ockey ockey cocky . Close but no cigar. Okay. Hut, hut, hike. [ light laughter ] jimmy do the first word again. Hut. Jimmy hockey . Cut . Cot . Hut. Jimmy hot, hot, hot, hot. Hike. Jimmy hockey . Hike. Jimmy hot, hot, hey hike. Jimmy hey hike. Jimmy hot, hot, hey hike, hike. Jimmy no, hot, hot. Hike. Hike. Hike. Jimmy cut hike jimmy cake. [ laughter ] hike jimmy cake. Hike jimmy hate it. Hate hot, hot, hate. What is it . What could it possibly be . [ applause ] what are you saying . Youve lost your mind now. [ cheers ] hut, hut, hike. Jimmy oh, hut, hut, hike. Oh. Thats exactly you were doing it right. Sorry. I should have just known. All right, ready . [ laughter ] me tarzan, you jane. Do it again. Jimmy me tarzan, you jane. Piss off. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i never thought that would ever happen in my entire life. Me tarzan, you jane. [ laughter ] once more, once more. Jimmy me tarzan, you jane. Piss off. I keep getting piss off. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy me. Me. Jimmy tarzan. Talk . Me talk tarzan . Jimmy yes you jane. Me jane . Jimmy yes, yes thats right [ cheers and applause ] all right. Oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] all right. Im going to do one more. One more. Last one here. Alright, here we go. [ laughter ] Zach Galifianakis. [ laughter ] jimmy are you kidding . Zach galifianakis. Jimmy that sounds like it looks like are you, like, having a stroke or something . Sassafras . Sassafras . Zach. Jimmy that. Close. Zach. Jimmy thad. Zach. Jimmy thad. Zach galifianakis. [ laughter ] you know, i have seen his name many times, but i dont know how to pronounce it. Jimmy tell me when youre going. Are you going . Now im going. Zach. Jimmy that. Zach. Jimmy thad. Galifianakis. Jimmy Zach Galifianakis . [ cheers and applause ] Carol Burnett, everybody go friday and saturday nights at the Beacon Theater right here in new york city. Pick up a copy of her latest book in such good company, which is in stores now. We have music from jason aldean when we come back. Come on back, everybody [ cheers and applause ] buy at olive garden back choose one delicious entree at our place and another for yours starting at 12. 99 may all your tomorrows be as delicious as today olive garden theres hey dude. Left, you should masterpass that, now. I masterpassed it. She sounds cranky. She wants her fruit chews. Masterpassed. Oh jane, youre getting a ticket. Nope, its been masterpassed. Whats with this one . Ive taken care of the check, its all masterpassed. Masterpassed it. I masterpassed it. That was fast. Because i masterpass. Welli do say that, you see. Well, fantastic a lot. I study psychobiology. Im a fine arts major. Nobody really believes that i take notes this way, but they actually make sense to me. I try to balance my studying with the typical college experience. This windows pc is a life saver being able to pull up different articles to different parts of the screen is so convenient. I used to be a mac user but this is way better. Is designed to respond towith revolyour body temperatureology to help keep you cool. Lets put it to the test. Youre up. Ew. Im gonna play it. Wedge . Yup next anncr it speeds evaporation to help keep you cool and dry. Hanes xtemp technology. Because when youre cool, youre comfortable. I think you got this. Right. Hahaha umhmmm hey nikki what are you doing here . You tell me, stephen. What . Im snapping. Youve been streaming my videos all morning. Now youre with this thing . No its not you its verizon they limit my data. I had to choose. Come on, girl. Lets get us a man with unlimited data. Why pay verizon more for data limits . Introducing tmobile one. One price. 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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy guys, check us out tomorrow night. His new show kevin can wait premiers monday night on cbs, kevin james will be here. [ cheers and applause ] plus, michael b. Jordan, music from bon iver, its going to be fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] tonights musical guest is the reigning academy of Country Musics entertainer of the year. Performing a little more summertime off his new album, they dont know, give it up for jason aldean, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] theyre boarding up this water town aint nobody hanging round another gray september day was i crazy to think shed stay if that sun wouldve just hung up in that sky just a little bit yeah just a little big longer if those blue waves couldve stayed at her feet on the beach stead of going out with the tide if that wind was a friend itd still be blowing in like a warm southern whisper on her she might have stayed forever and never ever left these arms if only i had a little more summertime i brace myself against the cold let her memory take hold stirring that old fire up as if i dont miss her enough if that sun wouldve just hung up in that sky just a little bit yeah just a little big longer if those blue waves couldve stayed at her feet on the beach stead of going out with the tide if that wind was a friend itd still be blowing in like a warm southern whisper on her she might have stayed forever and never ever left these arms if only i had a little more summertime just a little more summertime if that sun wouldve just hung up in that sky just a little bit yeah just a little big longer she might have stayed forever and never ever left these arms if only i had a little more summertime [ cheers and applause ] jimmy always, always buddy, thank you. Jason aldean, everybody [ cheers and applause ] jason aldean catch him on tour now. Well be right back, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause ] for senate, a clear difference. Katie mcginty for background checks, for banning assault weapons, and banning highcapacity ammunition clips. And pat toomey . Against an assault weapons ban and against banning high capacity ammo clips like those used in the orlando massacre. Listen to pat toomey brag i have had a perfect record with the nra. Pat toomey gets an a from the nra. Hes not for you. Senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. Fourteen americans killed in a San Bernardino mass shooting. But after this tragedy when pat toomey had the chance to ban suspected terrorists from buying guns he voted against closing this loophole for terrorists and with the gun lobby. Katie we have to do everything in our power to keep guns away from terrorists who threaten our way of life. Im Katie Mcginty and i approve this message because we cant risk our families safety on a loophole. With simply right checking from santander bank, just make one deposit, withdrawal, transfer, or payment each month to waive the monthly fee. And theres no minimum balance. Youre alright with simply right checking from santander bank. Are you feeling alright, baby . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, fantastic my thanks to Shailene Woodley, Carol Burnett, jason aldean, wayne newton, right there [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] hi, roots. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Thank you very, very much. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight bill hader, Tony Awardwinning playwright sarah jones, music from testpattern. Featuring the 8g band with matt garstka. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. How is everybody doing tonight . [ applause ] that is just wonderful to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. Donald trump spent today campaigning in iowa, and it was going great until somebody tried to husk him. [ light laughter ]
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