Jacuzzi, jacuzzi, jajajajacuzzi bubbles in my heinie ooh, ooh bubbles in. My heinie ooh. Pop what . Youre afraid to spend the night alone. How do you get that from bubbles in my heinie . Ray, its me youre talking to. We used to share a bedroom. You get scared. Whwhatyou dont know what youre talkin about. I do not. Yeah . Remember how long you had to keep the popeye night light, scaredypoo . Yeah . Well, until popeye came along, you had to keep the hallway light on. Only after one of dads bedtime stories. Which was every night. Listen, if youre having trouble sleepin, just turn on the tv. Iim not having trouble sleepin. Im fine, ok . Im not scared, robert. Yeah. Listen to your big brother, ok . Watch some tv. Discovery channel, cubby. Nature will put you right out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless its about monkeys, right . Whwhats that supposed to mean . Nothin. I just, uh. I remember a particular shoe tree in your closet that had a shadow all right. That you thought looked like a monkey holding an ax. Listen, i was 10 years old, and my shoe trees were big. Monkey holding an ax. Yeah. Im over it now, raymond oh, yeah . You got any shoe trees in your closet . You know what . Its none of your business, and its time for you to go [monkey chattering] all right, get outta here. Aah aah good. This place is stupid. Oh, and, uh, good luck in that big dark house youre gonna be all alone in. Or are you . All right, that was something. [deep voice] who is it there . Now i cant hear the murderer. Ohh. [click] documentary narrator the mother decides to nurse its young under the cooling shade of a nearby tree. Unfortunately, that decision will cost the gazelle its life. The lioness [click] no, no, no thanks, robert. Stupid nature. Squawk squawk squawk squawk aah what . squawwwwk friggin doll. First date butterflies disappeared when conversation shifted to quoting classic 80s movies, followed by delicious entrees, like our new bacon jack grilled chicken with fresh avocado, from our 20 dinner for two menu. Chilis. More life happens here. [ female announcer ] kleenex tissues help stop moisture better than the leading competitor. Save yourself from an awkward situation. Dont get caught without kleenex tissues. With new quality ingredients. Like angus beef, hickory ham, and our new buttery seasoned crusts. Then. We add hot. Because hot makes everything better. [ female announcer ] better taste. Better quality. [ ding ] hot pockets [ female announcer ] better taste. Better quality. Hey. Oh, raymond. What are you doing up . Cant you sleep, dear . No, no. I can sleep if i wanted to. Ohh. You miss debra and the kids. Ohh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, them. Yeah, so, um, what are you doing still awake . Im making tea for robert. Robert . They fumigated his apartment today, and he cant go back home till tomorrow. Oh, really . Yes. He said they had army ants. Army. Ah, heh heh. [continues chuckling] well, what are you doing over here . Hey, i just had to walk across the street. You had to drive here, officer barone. What are you talking about . Rays scared. Hey youre the one whos scared. What do you mean . Are you sick . Are you in trouble . Is someone bullying you . No, ma. Then what is it, what are you scared of . Bein alone. You mean for the rest of your life. No, but thanks for bringing up that possibility. Then what is it . Iii dont know, ma. You know, noises. The dark, things in the closet. Sometimes it creeps me out. You know, raymond, too. Hey, hey, hey, speak for yourself here. Hey, youre the one who came over to my place tonight. Yes, and, uh, there were no army ants. Oh my house is empty. Debras gone. Oh, no, im frightened. Shut up, ass of the world you shut up, shmuck of the whole neighborhood thats smaller, you idiot. I know its smaller stop stop hoohooahahah stop raymond, your brother is not a monkey. Theres nothing wrong with being a little frightened. We all get scared sometimes, right . Ah. And theres no reason why you cant come over here every once in a while. I mean, thats fine. Doesnt it make you feel good that theres a place to go if youre feeling scared. Robbie . Yeah, i guess. Raymond . Aaaggghh no hello, ladies. Frank jerk why did you do that . Theyre scared already. Thats why i did it. Youre grown men, for gods sake. Whats wrong with you . Hey, hey, youre the one who started the whole thing. What the hells that supposed to mean . What, you dont remember the stories . Gargoyles in our closet or a big brother whos just waiting for me to fall asleep so he can steal my brain. Or a little brother whos half spider. Heh heh heh heh. Half spider, ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny, dad. Very funny. Gimme a break you asked for em. Scare us, daddy. Tell us a scary story. We also asked to drive the car. You know . I mean, you should know better. You scared the hell out of us. We couldnt sleep. Yeah. A couple of times, we even wet our beds. I never did that. Frank what you did to them. Dont give me that, marie. You loved it when i scared em. Then they come running to you, and you could hug and cuddle and slobber all over them. Hey, that was nice. Thats an actual good memory i have. Shed calm us down. Yeah. She used to scratch my head. That helped. I didnt like seeing my boys scared. Hey, remember the butter cookies . Oh, yeah. Hey, you got any of those, ma . Oh, sure, honey, let me get them. I like the, uh, the pretzellookin ones. Ah, remember then wed go upstairs to our room to get away from him, and then wed talk about the mets till we fell asleep, huh . Yeah. Yeah. Im glad you were there, cubby. Yeah. Yeah, me, too. It was good. Yeah. Personally, i like leprechauns. What . Leprechauns. Cute, harmless little irish guys. And whenever id tell you guys a story, id throw in a couple of leprechauns and scare the bejesus outta you. Hey, ray, how did i know that little raymond was afraid of leprechauns . I dont know. Any ideas. Robert . Dad, dont start pointin fingers, ok . Thats not gonna work, right, ray . Thats right. How did he know about the leprechauns . Ii dont know. It wasnt me. Maybe it was ma. I dont know anything about that. All i know is i couldnt serve you lucky charms. Hee hee hee he was me little spy you told him. Allall right, yes, i did. I told him. Robert. Whywhy would you do that . Well, i liked when he told us the stories, but i didnt wanna get scared. And i had no problem with leprechauns. Oh, great, great, so you could sleep, and i could stay up all night waiting for those little monsters to come and take me to their nest. Robert nest . Thats right, nest. Hey, listen, im sorry, ok . Dont think i didnt hate myself for it. Dont forget, at that time, i thought you might be half spider. You know, in those days, when i was running information to dad, i think the guilt was the cause of my occasional bedwetting. All right. Look, whatever. It was a long time ago. Yeah, but it was wrong. Were supposed to stick together, right . I mean, were brothers. Yeah, well, brothers do those kind of things. Not good ones. All right, listen. I gotta tell you something. You never wet your bed. I used to. I used to wait until you fell asleep, and then id pour a glass of water in there with you. What . what . heh heh heh heh heh. Ii didnt wanna always look like a baby, you know, calling for mom when i was scared, and. I knew that she would come if you wet your bed. I always wondered why it was up by your shoulders. Im sorry, man. Im sorry. Look, i was 6. I was under a lot of pressure. Ohhho, you just did that, raymond, cause you wanted to be near your mommy. Well, aint this a kick in the ass . Everyone was so quick to blame me for all of this, but look at you. Youve all got blood on your hands. Now im goin back to bed, and im gonna sleep the sleep of the just. All right, imim goin home. Im goin home. This little exorcism wore me out. Robert, come on, you can sleep on my couch. Frank good night, girls come on, lets go. Good night, boys. Sleep tight. Dont let the bedbugs bite. Not that there are bedbugs. Youre perfectly safe. But make sure you lock your door. Raymond got it, ma. Because in the neighborhood you never know hey, come on, come on, come on. Whoa, what are you doing . Moms making herself tea. We can get dad. Come on, lets go back in around the front. Hes still in the bathroom, man. Come on, go. This is so great. Yeah, get in, get in, get in. Unh hah little payback time. Yeah. So how shall we do it . Well justwell just jump out and scream. Yeah. Like, were gonna get you, or we need blood, or i got a hammer no, no, no, no. Justjust scream, like yaaaah yeah, good. Yaaaah. Whooooo. No whoooo, just yaaaah yaaaah yeah, yeah, yeah. This is so fun, you know . We gotta do this more often. We should do this a lot. Yeah. Maybe the more we do it to him, the less that well be scared. Like therapy. Yeah, Something Like that. Next time we should get him in the shower. [frank clearing his throat] there he is shut up, shut up, shut up. Ok, so when do we go . Shut up. Just wait. Wait until he gets into bed. Good. Get comfortable there, old man. Nice. Nice and relaxed. Frank come on, marie. Whats with that face . Theyre gonna be fine. Oh, no, mom. I dont wanna scare her. Damn it. Lets just walk out right now. No. No no. Well wait. Well wait till they fall asleep, then well sneak out. Damn. Frank hey, you know what we havent done in a while . What . What havent they done . Frank come over here. Oh, no. Ohh, nnnnnno. No, please dont, ma. Dontdont go over there, ma. Dont go, dont go, dont go, dont go. Frank, sexily ohh, yeah were in here were in here but, hey, we didnt see anything. We didnt see anything. We were in the closet. Scared ya, huh . Youre a sick man what the hell is wrong with you . ill tell ya ill tell ya whats wrong with him. Hes a sick man youre a sick man sick man you tried to scare me, huh . Well, you mess with the bull, you gethe horns. Whats going on here . Got em again, marie. Terrified em. Oh, frank. Hes a sick man, ma. I know. Did he scare ya . Uhhuh. Aw, come on. Lets go downstairs. All right . Ill make you boys some cocoa, and i still have the butter cookies, and everythingll be fine, honey. Ill protect you from your mean old daddy. Marie isnt this nice . I love it. Scared myself a little. These clorox wipes disinfect twice the surface of the other brand. So whats that look like . It looks a lot like that. Clorox. Disinfect twice as much. Im a fashion blogger, so style is my thing. And im not gonna let my period get in the way of what i want to wear [ female announcer ] tampax radiant protects 30 better and comes with a resealable wrapper for discreet disposal. Mix and match your protection with the whole radiant collection. Guys, you took tums® a couple hours ago. Why keep taking it if you know your heartburn keeps coming back . Thats how it works. You take some tums®. If heartburn comes back, you take some more. That doesnt make any sense. It makes plenty of sense if you dont think about it really, honey, why cant you just deal with it like everybody else . Because i took a pepcid®. Fine. Debbie, youre my new favorite. [ male announcer ] break with tradition, take pepcid® complete. It works fast and lasts. Get relief from your heartburn relief with pepcid® complete. With everything. No. No no no no no. Mommys here. But instead she gives him capri sun. With absolutely no artificial preservatives. Captioning made possible by talk productions captioned by captioneering your closed captioning resource isnt this wonderfuldears. Weather were having . Its so crisp and clear. Quiet, marie. I cant hear the punches. So, raymond. Are you going to the hall of baseballs tomorrow . What . The hall of fame, marie you ignorant. [muttering] raymond, your brother was talking about some sort of a ceremony . It sounded like a lot of fun to me. And since you are a sportswriter and have such important connections. Oh, just say it, marie. The hall of fame is honoring the 1969 mets. Your brother asked your mother to ask you to take him. Which one of youdo i say no . Would mean to your brother. Ow mt to cooperstown, ok . G itt im not drivin the car. His feet smell. Well, take a bus. A bus. Thatsa smellyfeet con. Hi. Hi, robert. Hey. Hi, dear. Hey. So. Whats . For a drive today. Ht its nice out, huh . So whats new . Cut the crap. Your mother asked him already. Ask me, what do youm for . Ake youto the he like it just came up. Tom and you were supposedto wait act until i flashedthe venetian bli. Hey, ray. Oh, come on what are you doin . Im makin memories. What . Nothin. Its just. Were about to crash into a big blue dot. Aw, come on, robert. Im sorry. Im just a little excited. Yeah. The 69 mets. The amazing mets. The miracle mets god, i love those guys. It was one of the few bright spots of my childhood. I just wish dad had taken us to a game. He took us to a lot of yankee games. That was fun. I hated the yankees. What do you mean,you ha . You criedevery time the. Thats because dadtold me it wa. Hey. Youve actuallymet some of. Kranepool, harrelson,mcgraw. Yeah. Man, what a lifeyou got meetin sports idols,free hot d. Youre a lucky man,raymond. Lucky man. Ahh. Its not that. In locker rooms. M guys with towels. Guys without towels. I sure hopeart shamskyll be th. You know, he homeredhis first t. I know. Cant wait to tell himi named m. Dont tell him that. A f . For him to sign. . I brought shamr into the hall of fame. Rg tell him about the dog . Ign it, t give me the dog collar, robert. Nope. No way. Youre not bringin that in there but i want him to see that right now god, ild all right, fine the rest of the mets. Etd a happy meal. Meu hey, hey. Are you all right . Oh, yeah. Im justa. Just relax, man. Just act normal. These guys are justlike you and. Except they dontthrow like. Oh, we shouldvegotten here. Yeah. Juststick with me. Announcer ladies and gentlemen. From your 1969new york , please welcome. [sports theme plays] [applause] tommie agee [cheering] jerry grote [applause and cheering] Bud Harrelson cleon jones ed kranepool tug mcgraw art shamsky and ron swoboda [applause and cheering] whoa, whoa. Hey. Oh, yeah. Hi. Hi. Can i help you . Inew york newsday. Aper to just cover the event. Today is for the public. Ast. Talk to the players,ll t snap a couple pictures oh, no, i cant let you do that, sir. Here all morning. Beg oh. Yeah. Ii know that. But, uh. Again, imim, e from new york newsday. Im sure you are, sir,ba have to wait in linelik. To the back of the line. S just o how longcould it be . 3 hours. Really in line here. Dont want to move alonge toasn this area clear. Kep look. Look, ray,itll go fast. Well play20 questions. No, no. Look, theres gotta be somethin hey. Youre ray baronefr. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,thats me. Column. Man, its great ha ha ha i cantargue with. Yeah. That thingyouk about the newstadiu that wasreally good hey, thank you, man. Thanks. Thanks, man. Its niceto ge, and meet the readers, you know . Yeah. Yeah,it i. What are you doin . No. Nothin. Read the one aboutinu hey, hey, hey. No cuts. Im with him. With h. No, youre not. Ive been starin since 6 00 this mornin. Head maybe you shouldve. No cuts no, im im not cutting. Ray. Ray. Look, any longer. Get in linebefore its ive interviewed him. At. Let me talk to tug mcgraw. Well well, what about me . With that guy. Quess hey. Hey. Im thinkinof a famous person. Uh, hey, tug boat. Hey, tuggy bear. Fromsnew york newsday. E oh, yeah. Barone. Yoy becomin announcers. Yes yeah. Yeah . Of the exjocks. Ok,ce looking fora second carr at the expenseof the. Well, good fantastic who is that . Hes nobody. Take a hike,bar. Ok. Thank you,t. Thank you. Thank you. Hey. You go yeah. Uh. Tug said its okfor. No, he didnt, sir. I heard him. He doesntlike you, sir. Back in line. Thats what we do. Zzin me. Were good friends,me and tug b. Uh, sure, you are, sir. Move along. Yeah. Back of the line. Yeah who do you think yoare, huh . look. Look. Look. Im ra
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