excuse me. no free sampli. i'm not sampling i've had this before. yeah, right, well, it's not a snack bar. relax, pal, i justook a little. ye, well, if everybody steals a little, the store goes a ltle bit out of business. what, are you calling me a thief? only 'cause you're taking something without paying for it. how much did i take, a niel's worth? here. here's auarter. keep the change. don't row money at me. oh, yeah? what are you gonna do? let's go, dad. sorry, i'm realorry. don't apologize for me. he's the one blowing a gasket over a hdful of birdseed. it's called stealing, cue ba! i got hair, porky! don'turn your back on me, we're gonna go.ght here. dad,et's go look at some meat. yeah, let's get out here. hey, i'm veteran! okay, dad, okay!, pal. look at hi you're telling me he's never done any samplg?! come on, dad! look at hi you're i'm going backg me he's never to teaching. any samplg?! ray, what happened with your datoday at the sermarket? what do you mean? ally's pretty upset. she said he was screaming and calling a man name itas nothing. the produce guy accusehim of stealing. was he stealg? he was sampling the trail mix. you'reot allowed to sample the trail mix. hence the hullabaloo. solly saw your father steal food and then watched him make a big scene in public. ah, her fit time. the rite of ssage. i rememb mine-- the new york state thruway, dad throwing penni at the toll collector. yeah. is time he threw a quarter. inflation. it's not fny, it's not funny. why can't he have himself? why can't a dog play the trumpet? ( chuckling ) it not funny, robert. it's no big deal you want me toalk to her? i don't want you to talk to h. i want you to talk to him. i'll talk to h. no, ray. your fher has to realize that he's not a gorilla. he's got grandkids. he has to set an example you really should say something to him. why don'you? don't need to. your daughter, ur problem. you're stupid, you're ugl come on, ray, you gotta say something. talk to him. look at him, he so peaceful. for cryi out loud, i' do it. no, you're too mean. what? nothing. i'll do it. dad, can we turn this off for a sond? hey! what are you doing? we're watching here. all right, look, dad. we thi you should know that ally was kind of upset about what happened with the g at the market. okay. turn the tv back on. wait a second. what happened? aw, the jackass uit guy accused me of stealing. frank, pleas they're "homosexuals." no, the guy who works in the fruit deparent, the fat one. jimmy? oh, i love him. he's the one who gets me the good pches. what were you stealing nothing. just took a little of the snacking mix out of the thing. oh, well, that's n stealing. technically, mom, it is theft. pey theft. unless you ate me than a hundred dollars' worth. did you? no, i didn't,o. besides, iaid for it. you thre a quarter at the guy. tossed. frank, is this really the way you want to beve u know, debra, in front of far be it from mer? to ever take his sid but i do think it's horrible what'sappened to that store. they used to give you samples all e time. and they also used to help you ke your bags to the car. now have to take you to the car myself. i was on your side. stealing is only a part this. y did you have to lose your temper anthen yell at the guy? but there's other ways to handle the situation. at me! hey, you weren'there! the guy had it coming! but not with your granddahter watching. it could affect her. i still twitch at tollbooth you know what? i'm glad ally sathat. she's gottlearn you can't take crap from people! frank... have you ever heard the saying, "it kes a village to raise a child"? i believe that. and i believe that you're part of our village. we're just trying to teach them proper value listen, i don't know what the hell village you' talking about. but i live in real worl usa. so you can spare me your lecture. you listen to me! come with me for a minute. something has to be done! he's a public menace i know, i know. why didn't yvillage let me kill him? that would be very nice, dear. but the truth is, this all could've been avded if raymond had handled him better in the supermarket. what?! he wasn animal! yes. and you let him off his leash. if you take a dog to a superrket, and he has an accident in therozen food aisle, is it the dog's fault? did dad ev do that? i'm saying, you know how your father is. and there are ways to prevent this kd of scene. first of all, i try to be th him if he's ever going to be anywhe there might be people. but ray was with him. what w he supposed to do? before you even got to the snack secon, you should've had a hershey r or a zagnut here in ur pocket. that's true. he responds to tats. do younow why this kind of thing doesn't happen wbecause i compensate. he's horrible, d i have a certain... well, that's great, mari you want to be with hi all the time, then? , no. well, somebody nds to straighten him out. no, leave him. he'll watch television, th i'll take him home, make some cannelloni, he'll burp,and he'll feel bette. you're an enabler. you're actually rewardin his horrible behavior wi italian food. that's exactly how thmafia works. well, i'm gonna spk to him. put some candy in youpocket! mommy,an you play twister with us? yeah, that's a good idea, mommy. we can all play, like a happy family. twister stinks! hey, kid you wanna watch something funny? sit down. abbot d costello meet the mummy. hey, ally, ce here. mom, may i please go play computer? uh, sure, honey, for little while. what was thaabout? all of a sudden i have the plague? what did you say to herat was thaabout? i di't say a word. want some candy? if you dn't say anything, then you did. you badmouthed me, didn't y? i did not. told you, ally had some strong feelings about what happened. what a coincidence she just happens to be feelg the me thing that you two were thinking. maybe it was what her grandfatr was doing. turning a kid againsher grandpa. real classy! ( sighs ) couldn't mind your own business? that's something to work on, bra. ♪ i'm teaching performance. here's wh they'll need. ♪ get your backpack, youroodies, harajuku, ♪ ♪ turquoise kinda purple orangish sorta blue. ♪ ♪ backpacks, yeow, ♪ to put their stuff in. ♪ gaphic tees and denim, denim, denim, denim. ♪ ♪ backpacks. school takea lot, target has is all. frank: hey. 's all squishy! hey. what's up? i working. nothg. is the, uh...girl around? ally? yeah. yeah. the girl's in t backyard. listen, i was thinking mae i should have a talk with her. oh, yeah? yeah. i, uh... i want to ha a talk with her. okay, all rit, so-- so have a talk with her. no big deal or anything. what do say to her? what? what do i say to her? i've never talked to her. i think i've seen youta. no. i'vei've told her,ies, "h, get down from there!" but i've never talked to her. what do i do? uh, all right, just, you know, starkind of easy. say something nice or start with a joke. you know, and th just say what you want to... to the girl. what joke do i tell? i don't know. okay. what did the big chimney say to t little chimney?w. what? you're too young to smoke. th's terrible. it's a kids joke. i'm not doing that joke. all right. don't do a joke, just tal all right? you don't got to sta with anything. she knows you. you're grandpa. she's familiar with your work. all ght. come with me. . what are you so scared of? you weren a war! at was different. they gave me a rifle. just glad they took it back. ally: i'm gonna get you! hey, kids,hat, are you playing here? hey, comon, boys, go inside. hey, kids,hat, ur dad's got candyre? and chocate fudgey balls for you. go on inside. ally, can i ta to you for a second? okay. can we, uh,sit somewhere? to you for a second? ( metal buling ) okay, uh... so, ally, what did the mexican fire chief name his two sons? jose and hose "b." that was one of your fath's jokes. about at happened at the supermarket.ng but whatou don't understand is-- you took that stuff, and then you yelled that man. it was scary. he listen... ( metal buckling ) you don't ever need to be scared of me. you see, whai did was take a little sample. and that's not stealing. in fact, they call itampling. but the sign sai "no sampling." oh, you're reading now. i'm proud of you. that's good. but, see, i think the sign is wrong. i think they should allow people to sample but, see, i think because that way, if you try it,ong. you might want to buy . but i could never get to that because of that jack...man. you were yelling at him, peopleet mad at people sometimes. you get mad you were at people sometimes,ling at him, like your lile brothers there. they must be annoying as hell, am i right? so, anyway, i mean, when they really bother you, you yell at them just the way i yelled at the frt guy. you ow? but just because you yell asomebody, it doesn't mean u're a bad person. does it? right. but if i do that, then i have to apoloze to them. not all of the time. yeah, all the time. ( sighs ) hey, you know what? what ( makehonking noise ) i got your nose. but that's not stealing, because i'm givi it back. i used to get a big lah. you're too smart for that now. ( sighs ) hey, you kw what? i'll see you ler. ( groans ) i'm not so scary, am i? not more than grandma. ally: there he is, grandpa. yup, the he is. grazing over by the tomatoes. dad. all right, i'm wrong, by th's skinny.. be nice. go awa ( clears throat ) uh, excuse me. don't know if you remember me. i was in here, , let's see, uh... this morning. yeah. what do you want to do now put a turkey down your pants? yeah. what do you want to do now ( chuckling ) no. no, i just want to straighten out a little misunderstanding about the traimix there. yeah, big misunderanding. look, i'm a little bus all right? listen, jim, i'm just trying to straighten this out, all right? there's nothing to straighten out. you took some trail mix 'cause you're too cheap toay for it, think we're straight. i just want to say we're both guys, all right? and whatever hpened this morning was a little misunderstandi, ani'm... soy. yeah, i'm sorry, too. i'm sorry that jerks like you come into section and take yr dirty hands and put it into the food and take whater you want. and then whei try and do my job, you scre and yell like some red-faced maniac. you want to do me favor? go steal from the a&p! ( breathing heavily ) good job, dad. insuring that stuff must be pain. nah, he's probably got... [ dennis' voice ] allstate. they can bundle all ur policies together. lot of paperwork. doug's voice ] actually... [ dennis' voice ] an allstate agent can he do the switching and paperwork for you. well, it probably costs a lot. [ dennis' voice ] allstate can sa you up to 30% more when you bundle. well, his dog's stupid. [ denni voice ] poodles are one of the world's smarte breeds. ♪ bule and save with an allstate agent. are u in good hands? that gic does exist. it's called science! here's what they'll need. ♪ pencils, folders, notebooks. ♪ ♪backpacks, denims, graphic tees. ♪ ♪ markers, calculators. whoa! ♪ ♪converse one start tennies ♪ well, pencils, hair gel, binders. ♪ ♪ pencils, hair gel, binders. announcer: school takes a lot, trget has it all. [ female announcer ] may seem like just fabric. but from blankets to jammies to theittle monster who shows up at bath time, fabric is the stuff of babyhood. dreft takes your baby's fabrics... memories.. messes and all and gently keeps theclean. you have a child forev t a baby for just one year. and becausdreft is specially made for babies, dreft makes babyhood special. [2 sat right here with you and d a conversation? yes. for how lo? i don't know. well, no, was it, like, five minutes? te i don't know. n, i guess. ten minutes? anit wasn't about food? no, not really. you had a ten-nute conversation with him. what was thalike? it was okay, guess. d you weren't scared? robbie! you said you were goa move my trash cans, and you didn't do it. now the garbage men are here i'm justonnaage is have to do it myself likeverything else! w, that one scares the crap out of me. captioning made possible by talk productio and cbs, inc. captioned by captioneering your closed captioningesource --www.captioneering.com-- captioned by caponeering your closed captioning resource --w.captioneering.com-- want to art the day with somethi heart healthy and delicious? you're aalking bee... honey nut cheerios has whole grain oats that can help wer cholesterol. sure does!r. ♪ wow. delicious, right?. it's the honey, it makes it taste ... ♪ well, would you ok at the time... what's the rush? be happy. be healthy. hey. hey, andy. how you doin', andy?ou we should spray. you look like u're losing weight. nah, i just gave up cking in my shirt. you here to tell everody your big news? andy got a new job booking guestson . oh, congratulations, andy. wow...this proves it. thladies like guys with jobs. whose show is it? jerry musso, g sports radio guy. i've heard jerry musso. never cared for hi nobody asked you. ani told him that i would do the show.ty for andy, you ow,throw him a bone. actual, ray, that's what i came over to tell you. i'm afraid i have to... return your bone. wh do you mean? i'm nogonna be able to book you on the show. why not? jerry sso doesn't like you. to book you on the show. doesn't like me? what station is he going be on? doesn'like me-- what did he say? what were his exact wos? i didn't hear from him. was going over my list with the executive producer and he saw your name, and he go, "oh, jerry's never gonna go for this. he doesn'tike ray barone." maybe he's confusing ray with someby else. that's what i thought. so i subtted your name, anyway, and stil it came back-- "no. no way. jerry hates ray bane." hates? it says, "hates." where do you go to get stuff frame andy,tell me the truth. does jerry musso hate ? i don't know. i wasn't the one who talked to him. oh, no. lo, well, ask him. i just got this job. why would i wanna asciate myself with the man my boss hates? hates me. hates you. really? hates-- hates...you. tes you, i'm sorry. i don't even know e guy. i never even met him. did you write something bad about hi no, i've never wrien about him at all. maybe that's why he hates you. come on,hy would he care if he was in ray's column? what no. it's justhat, it's not like it's, you know, the front pa. i mean, people read yourolumn for, you know...fun. it's just a funny little... it's funny. you hate my writin no! no. i'm supporting you. your writing is...wow. ah, okay, thank you. that's enough support. why the hell would this guy hate me? i don't know, did you sleep th his wife or something? ha ha ha ha! ( chuckling eptically )ou sleep th his wife or something? what? slept with his wife... oh, what? now m not attractive enough to sleepith his wife? you're very attractive. just not to anyone else. did you sleewith his wife? if i did, she would ke it.
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