than other people. what i look at is, all right, i'm coming in to a turn and i know that this turn cuts and then turns left. this is a perfect setup for an l ambush. so if i wanted to, i would put a bomb right around the corner and then one right in here. i'd take out the front and lead vehicle and then i would just kill everything in between. - [richard] so do you still think that way? - occasional. or also all the time. everything can be a threat. every scrap of trash, every misplaced tree landing. the further away you are from combat, the easier it is to disassociate yourself from those threats until you're triggered. (alarm rings) when i came back from deployment, i started using substances to dull the pain, over-the-counter medications, alcohol. yeah, you could tell my heart rate was going up.