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mind-set and mental estate to do that. i took off my uniform a long time ago, i became a father and member of congress and i thought that i left that part of my life behind and recovered from a lot of that experience. then it came back rushing back and i had to take my emotions and set them aside and run through those mental checklists that people do in situations like that, trying to figure out how to make it out alive. that's what i did. i am still working through those feelings and the merger of those two aspects of my life. that's what happened, that's what we had to do. i think of those officers as the last thing, let's not forget we had 140 officers who were beaten. one of whom i was close the the last couple of years. he called me the day after this happened and broke down into tears and said, sir, i let you down. i tried to hold back that mob as long as i could, eventually they

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