holidays and the kids' birthdays in february. >> did you feel yourself becoming institutionalized? >> i had to, to a degree. and for me, it was a matter of, you know, sitting back and observing and seeing how things operate so that i could fit in enough, you know, to be okay. you know, i had to lock the real me down inside. >> how were his spirits, julie? was he holding on or was he sinking? >> dave would sink only briefly, he would have lows. there'd be times when i'd talk to him and he'd sound really down, but he never stayed there. because he couldn't stay there. staying in that despondency, that hopelessness is excruciating. >> but now there finally seemed to be a break in the case. the unknown male dna on the
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