Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170715

Spider. Yeah, i dont think radio active spider bites are covered either announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, stephen welcomes john oliver, Woody Harrelson and musical guest Emmylou Harris, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen a litten gentler thank you very much hey, everybody jon, rare to see you in the same outfit audience chanting Stephen Stephen hey, everybody cheers and applause i wish we had a crowd like that thursday and friday night. These people are incredible. They give and give. piano riff welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. End of a long week for donald trump, jr. laughter he hasnt been under this much stress since his first job interview. I see here on your resume that youre my son. Special skills, having my same name. Youre hired. laughter and its looking more and more like that meeting with the russian lawyer might not just mean trouble for donald trump, jr. , but also the other Campaign Staff he invited, Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner. Eric trump wasnt invited, because they were afraid hed try to take off the russian lawyers head to see if there were more lawyers nesting inside. laughter applause piano riff too dangerous. They could not risk it. International incident is what that would be. Jon yeah. Stephen and who was the international operative who set up this clandestine meeting . None other than music publicist and old guy at the rave no one wants to dance with, rob goldstone. Goldstone runs a Public Relations company in england named oui 2. Which is also what trump allegedly ordered in that Russian Hotel room. laughter allegedly goldstone is a shadowy character, but my team of experts were able to dig up some evidence on him through a complex hacking method called visiting his facebook page. laughter and hes clearly a master of disguises. Here he is as a chef, pirate shriner, and mexican wrestler. Clearly the man has spent decades deep undercover in a popup halloween store. Because if goldstone werent an international superspy, why would he have other identities, like this video i like to condition and moisturize my hair. Im a good girl. Stephen jim, thats the wrong footage. I didnt ask for an international supermodel. laughter okay. Of course, with don, jr. And Jared Kushner embroiled in scandals, President Trump can still turn to Senior Advisor and man drinking quietly at the back of the bowling alley, steve bannon. booing lot of steve bannon fans tonight. We havent heard from bannon in a while, but hes back in the news thanks to a new book called devils bargain. Which is also the name of Steve Bannons signature cologne. laughter an excerpt of the book was published this week in new york magazine, and its full of juicy details like his rivalry with Jared Kushner, who bannon says was trying to shiv him and push him out the door. Oh, yeah, you know jareds a badass. I heard he was captain of his prep schools shiv team. laughter applause who doesnt love a good shivving . And according to the book, when the president fired james comey, bannon was against it. But once the backlash hit, trump turned to bannon to create an outside war room to put a prophylactic around the oval office. So, at least now we know trump is using protection when hes screwing us. laughter jon oh stephen its so important. piano riff its so important. Jon its important to use protection, huh . piano riff applause stephen and you need not worry about Steve Bannons selfesteem. The book reveals that he owns an oil painting of himself dressed as napoleon in his study. We just have reports, no image of the painting, but i had my Graphics Team work up a rendition. Heres the original. And heres bannon. laughter looking good. Hes had a little work done. Hes had a freshen up. But bannons not the only trump insider in the news. So is attorney general and imp who gets your firstborn if you dont guess his name, Jeff Sessions. laughter earlier this week, sessions spoke to an antil. G. B. T. Hate group in a closeddoor speech. Closeddoor . Come on guys, its 2017 its okay to come out, and let your hate flag fly youre here, you fear, were used to it. cheers and applause piano riff thank you. Were celebrating your journey the Group Sessions spoke to was Alliance Defending freedom, a powerhouse christian law firm, defending clients like the bakery that refused to make a samesex wedding cake. They also wrote model legislation, such as bathroom bills, which are aimed at keeping transgender people out of restrooms. So no cake for gay couples, no bathrooms for transgender people, and bisexuals may not use shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle. Gotta pick a side. applause got to. Its in the bibleoplace. Leviticus. Always a safe bet. laughter leviticus is a very safe bet. Whoever wrote leviticus was uptight, let me just say that. laughter the a. D. F. s mission has been described as seeking to recover the robust christendomic theology of the 3rd, 4th, and 5th centuries. Ah, the good old days laughter the third, fourth and fifth centuries when men were men and women died in childbirth at fourteen. So what did sessions say to these people . Weve asked but we dont know because, so far, both the a. D. F. And the Justice Department have declined requests to release his full remarks. Which means we can only speculate what he said. So i will. laughter applause jim, could we . laughter good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I do declare i am positively flabbergasted by the amount of homosexualitizing i see in our country these dark days. We must return our culture to what god intended. Men marrying women, having Marital Relations just for reproduction, lights off, socks on, finishing with firm handshake. laughter i just realized theres a man behind me in this shot laughter then, then pay no attention to the man behind the cookie laughter then, when this heightened moral state is achieved, im going to take away their pot heh heh im Jeff Sessions lets go visit stephens tummy tum wheeeee ahhh cheers and applause stephen so good. So good. So good. Jon i had one earlier. Stephen if seeing me eat our nations attorney general gave you the munchies, and you live in nevada, ive got some good news because, starting this month, nevadans can buy legal marijuana. cheering personally, im against it i think its wrong to be high while youre gambling drunk with a prostitute. laughter apparently, sales are already far exceeding expectations, with estimated sales of 3 million in the first four days alone. Explains their new tourist slogan what happens in vegas stays in. Wait, where are we again . laughter but sales have been so good that less than two weeks in nevadas marijuana supplies are already running low. Its so bad, that the governor declared a state of emergency. laughter a state of emergency jon wow wow stephen up until now, a weed emergency was when you lock yourself in your room because youre paranoid that your cat knows youre high. Hes going to figure out im the one who had him fixed. laughter hey, any fellow catholics here tonight . cheers then you got the alert on that catholic app we all have. For those who arent catholics, big news out of pope city, the vatican has outlawed glutenfree bread for holy communion. Of course, you cant have the body of christ without gluten, he is risen laughter piano riff thats the truth. Thats the truth. Jon i like that. Stephen its the truth. Live it. Its all based on the teachings of famed catholic scholar the pillsbury dough pope. laughter now this puts catholics with celiac disease in a tough position. Do they compromise their health to take communion, or do they refuse the churchs most important sacrament . Im sure when they get to heaven, st. Peter will say, you feed the poor, cared for the sick, and loved your neighbor as yourself, but youre one of those annoying glutenfree people. Go to hell laughter but the vatican isnt entirely heartless. They say, parishioners who cannot tolerate even a trace amount of gluten should receive wine only. Which is kind of nice. Wine on an empty stomach really makes mass fly by. laughter now, as a catholic, i am legally obligated to agree with my church. The communion must include gluten. The only one who can disagree is god himself. And i do disagree, stephen. Stephen oh, hi. Its god, everybody say hey to the lord hey, everybody cheers and applause hey hey how you doing . Long week, huh . Thank me, its friday. laughter stephen so youre against the church insisting that the eucharist have gluten . Oh yeah, im glutenfree. Im also doing a cleanse right now. Can i tell you about it . Stephen i dont really its lemon water, cayenne pepper, and a little maple syrup. Goes through you like samson through the philistines. laughter yeah. I had to drop a few lbs after i ate the dinosaurs. Stephen you ate the dinosaurs . Yeah, i was doing paleo. An old girlfriend got me into it. Shes a tattoo artist now. Her names crysta krystal with. laughter stephen but youre god. If youre glutensensitive, cant you change the communion rule . Ehhh, im not actually glutensensitive, stephen. I heard about it on dr. Oz once, and i just wanted to be cool. Frankly, ive been dying for an excuse to hit this meatball sub. Mmmm want some, stephen . Please say no. Stephen actually, im vegan right now. You go to hell stephen god, everybody. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Weve got special never before seen president ial battle between me and john oliver. But its friday and that means midnight confessions. Stick around cheers and applause band playing when youve got. Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea heres pepto bismol ah. Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea and now im sure its more than a stroke of luck yeah, i love you, do you love me, too . Yeah, i love you, do you love me, too . Clap your hands if it feels good clap your hands, ohh this blue goo leaves a residue quit playin with my eyes,ghter. Goo. So, seventh generation developed this powerful natural detergent it gets your clothes clean. Really clean. Buh bye blue goo, and come clean with seventh generation. [ sighs ] hey, i was using that. What, you think we own stock in the Electric Company . I will turn this car around right now theres nobody back there. I was becoming my father. [ clears throat ] its. Been an adjustment, but were making it work. You know, progressive. Com makes it easy for us to get the right home insurance. [ snoring ] progressive cant protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto. [ chuckles ] all right. And i am a senior Public Safety my namspecialist for pg e. My job is to help educate our First Responders on how to deal with natural gas and electric emergencies. Everyday when we go to work we want everyone to work safely and come home safely. I live right here in auburn, i absolutely love this community. Once i moved here i didnt want to live anywhere else. I love that people in this community are willing to come together to make a difference for other peoples lives. Together, were building a better california. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey jon batiste and stay human right there cheers and applause jazzmataz jon, i love the weekend, fridays, i love getting away, being with my family and having fun, but im excited about getting back here because next week its russia week on the late show. We went to russia, deep inside, behind the iron curtain, which isnt even there anymore. We went to the hotel where donald trump stayed. We talked to oligarchs, people on the street, to Cyber Security experts, it was spooky. Couldnt wait to get out of there. I almost kissed the ground when i got off the plane, but it was inside j. F. K. And i know whos been walking there. Not a good idea. Not a good idea. laughter as i was saying before, im catholic. And as a catholic, i feel a lot of guilt about how much i talk about my guilt. And i dont get to confession as often as i like or ever. So, if you dont mind, id like to confess to you, my audience. You wont tell anybody, right . Audience of course not stephen great. This is Stephen Colberts midnight confessions cheers and applause laughter standard disclaimer i dont know if these are technically sins, but i do feel bad about them. laughter okay. Be right back. soft organ music forgive me audience for dessert last night, i had a cupcake, which is an abbreviation for a couple of cakes. laughter when people ask me if celebrities get special treatment, i always tell them the same thing please step away from the hovercraft. laughter if i ask to pet your dog, its because the mens room was out of paper towels. laughter i dont know what a toilet towel is. I meant to say toilet paper but its friday and ive already started drinking. cheers and applause i always lie to get out of jury duty. And the judge always says, sir, youre the defendant. laughter i believe with all my heart we should do everything we can to fight global warming, other than turn down the air conditioning one degree in this theater. laughter ive been eating a strictly vegan diet all week, and its very empowering. For instance, i no longer fear death. I long for it. laughter applause i have a box of kraft macaroni cheese in my cupboard with an ad on the back for a bugs life. laughter the premise being that the box is so old. laughter applause if someone tells me when god closes a door, he opens a window, i want to lock the door and shove them out the window. laughter forgive me, audience audience we forgive you stephen thanks. When we come back, john oliver, and i, will see each other face to face in a president ial battle that was so good we saved it for tonights show. cheers and applause band playing to turn your flicker into a flame youll need a spark. New emergenc Energy Natural caffeine from green tea to focus your mind. 7 b vitamins plus vitamin c to fortify you. Spark the energy within you every day. Emergenc energy . Emerge and see. Whats going on here . Um. Im babysitting. Thatll be 50 bucks. You said 30. Yeah, well it was 30 before my fees, like the pizzaordering fee and the dogsitting fee. And the rummage through your closet fee. Who is she, verizon . Are those my heels . Yeah yeah, were the same size. In shoes. With tmobile taxes and fees are already included, so you get four lines of unlimited for just 40 bucks each. The price we say is the price you pay. Which one of you the cheetos snacks . Okay, ive given you guys a chance to confess. 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Find new roads at your local chevy dealer. cheers and applause band playing stephen welcome back, everybody. Welcome back to the late late show. Welcome to a special Bonus Edition of john oliver. cheers and applause any other show would waste this moment right now on a webex tray. Huhuh. Stephen huhuh. This is bonus john oliver, you didnt ask for or want. laughter stephen i have a bone to pick with you. Pick it. Stephen its because you and i both got wind that town in gettysburg, pennsylvania. Thats right. Stephen this was the gettysburg president museum hall of fame. The wax president ial museum. Stephen wax president ial museum. And we didnt know each other were interested. Stephen no. We sent people down, and you sent people down there. Because were both attracted to things that are objectively ridiculous. Stephen and jon stewart sent somebody down there because what do you want . You want a wax president. Stephen or a wax first lady which, if you remember, they had the wax first ladys for only twothirds the height, as if back in the 18th centurye. Representing hope women would eventually be paid. audience reacts stephen thats commentary, not endorsement from him. Hes a satirist. I cant be the bad guy there it wasnt a suggestion, it was a criticism laughter stephen we have Zachary Taylor, thats who you bid on, and you got warren g. Harding, right . We got five president s of which my favorite was indeed the ultimate warren g. Stephen five . Five. Stephen these things arent cheap. They cost thousands. Thats more of that dragon money, right . laughter yeah. Stephen damn it but heres the thing, i was happy for you. I was almost validated because i i respect you. He wanted some, i got some. I was happy for you. This is what you said on your show. Congratulations, stephen worth pointing out Zachary Taylor tied of a stomach bug. applause stephen i know what this means and it doesnt apply. That was totally uncalled for and i would like for you to apologize you want me to apologize to you for insulting your wax president . Stephen no. I want you to apologize to wax Zachary Taylor. Bring him out, fellas cheers and applause playing hail to the chief cheers and applause i would love to apologize to a wax president , but i dont see a wax president. I see a oneyear wonder who died of a tender tummy. laughter you want to see what a real wax president looks like . Let me take you to the gspot. The warren g. Harding spot bring my boy out cheers and applause playing hail to the chief stephen all right, lets settle this like men with insults. Oh, its on you know how Zachary Taylor died . After a july 4th celebration where he treated himself to too much milk and cherries. He basically o. D. d on a snack for preschoolers. Boom stephen really . Can i get a boom on that . Stephen really . Yes. Stephen known philanderer warren g. Harding also died in office of a heart condition. Really . I didnt realize your heart could get syphilis hey hey hey respect the office no one even knows who your guy is 90 of americans think Zachary Taylor was one of the kids on home improvement. Stephen a fine show cheers and applause no, it isnt stephen president harding was an early proponent of commercial aviation because, while harding was president , even he wanted to flee the country. Hey piano riff stephen why did i get a grown . Im not surprised taylor was in the whig party. That hairdo looks like you shaved it off a shih tzus ass. laughter Stephen Harding was so corrupt he lost the white house china in a poker game and apparently the white house eyebrow trimmers in a game of yahtzee. Dont listen to him. Stephen he cant hear you. Hes wax Zachary Taylors nickname was old rough and ready. Thats not a nickname for a president , its a nickname for a male prostitute. A good one. Stephen you should be so lucky. laughter Stephen Harding is widely considered by modern day historians to be the worst president ever. And remember, modern day historians know who the president is right now cheers and applause piano riff youve got to stop. Im sorry. Stephen thats too far. This is too much. Stephen thats too far. I apologize. Were clearly never going to settle this. I may not like harding, you may not like taylor, but at least we can both agree. Theyre not franklin pierce. Stephen no. What a douche bag. laughter stephen wax Zachary Taylor is sorry for what i said. Wax warren g. Harding is sorry as well. audience reacts stephen lets make them kiss. Lets do. cheers and applause stephen well be right back we, the entertainmentloving people, want an unlimited data plan that gives us more. We want more than just texting. More than just surfing and shopping. Because sure, we want to use this to call the people we love like our directors. But mostly, to get the entertainment we love. Maaaaark switch to at t for the only unlimited plan that gives you 60 channels of Live Television on any screen all for 70 a month. The ford summer sales event is in full swing. They are not listening to me. Watch this. Who wants ice creeaaaaaam . So thats how you get them to listen. Take on summer right with ford, americas bestselling brand. Now with summers hottest offer. Get zero percent for seventytwo months plus an additional thousand on top of your tradein. During the ford summer sales event get zero percent for seventytwo months plus an additional thousand on top of your tradein. Offer ends soon. hard exhalation honey . Can we do this tomorrow . grunts of effort can we do this tomorrow . If you have Heart Failure symptoms, your risk of hospitalization could increase, making tomorrow uncertain. But entresto is a medicine that was proven, in the largest Heart Failure study ever, to help more people stay alive and out of the hospital than a leading Heart Failure medicine. Women who are pregnant must not take entresto. It can cause harm or death to an unborn baby. Dont take entresto with an ace inhibitor or aliskiren. If youve had angioedema while taking an ace or arb medicine, dont take entresto. The most serious side effects are angioedema, low blood pressure, kidney problems, or high potassium in your blood. Tomorrow, tomorrow. When can we do this again, grandpa . Well, how about tomorrow . Ask your doctor about entresto and help make tomorrow possible. cheers and applause band playing stephen welcome back, everybody lovely evening. Welcome back to the broadcast already in progress. My first guest has played everything from a true detective to a naturalborn killer. He now stars in war for the planet of the apes. My god. Look at your eyes. Almost you. How did you know i was here . I was told you were coming, that more soldiers from the north would be joining you here. Joining me. To finish us off for good. Who told you that i . Okay. Lets go. Stephen please welcome Woody Harrelson. cheers and applause band playing stephen how are ya . Oh, pretty good, dude, pretty good. laughter i tell ya, ive gotten into a good dwroov where i dont get nervous on these things but now im a little nervous. Stephen why . We had a good time before. We have. Stephen we shaved your head while we sang the National Anthem together. Thats true. Stephen it takes about the same time to sing the National Anthem to shave your head. Maybe less, the way things go laughter stephen youve joined a Baseball Team this year . No, i did a movie called lost in london, its based on an incident that happened in my life that i wanted to forget but then i thought could have been funny, you know. Stephen what did you want to forget about being lost in london . Well, it was a bad night for me and the wifeypooh, and i got arrested and i went to jail. And there was a lot it wasnt great, but good comedy. Stephen sounds like a good movie. Owen wilson is in it. Stephen does he play you . No, no, i play me. Stephen okay. Yeah. And here, this is for you. Stephen i can have this . Yeah. Stephen lets see whose head is larger. Yeah, it is mine. laughter thats as close as i can get to putting this on my head. Gee, mom, new york cheers and applause thank you very much youre welcome. Stephen thank you very much. Leave that right there. Thats very nice right there. Well, hey, listen, i got a quick question for you. I want to get to the plant of the apes in a minute. A great movie. I enjoyed the first two immensely and cant wait for the third one. Youre in the any hans solo standalone star wars movie coming up. Weve seen you and chewy and han. Your character is beckett. Tell me about him because youre not going anywhere until you tell me something about the movie. Right. Im a criminal. Stephen youre a criminal . Yeah. Stephen thats pretty good. Yeah. Stephen youre a fellow criminal along with hahn. Ill take that. One more thing, heres a picture you threw up there which is instagram, caption the coast, but right there it says solo, like crew shirt. Is that the name of the movie . Right now, thats the temporary name of the movie. Stephen solo. Thats an exclusive, right . No one knows that. Were revealing that right now. There you go. cheers and applause thank you for being cooperative. Unless we cover that, no monkey talk. No, no, weve got to get monkey talk in, of course. Stephen i have a favor to ask. Youre a famous vegan. Yeah. Stephen youre a wellknown vegan. Okay. Stephen i became a vegan at 9 00 a. M. This morning. You did . Stephen yeah, i lost a bet with a friend of mine and the bet is i have to be a vegan for 17 days. Really . Stephen the groans out there. Have a rib fest in the audience tonight. How will you survive . Stephen how am i going to survive as a vegan . First of all, if you think about it, the strongest animal pound for pound in nature is the april. Stephen the whale. No, no. laughter stephen the april . Pound for pound, im talking about just in terms of, like, their size and how strong they are, its an april. Their vegetarian. Stephen okay. Horses. They eat grass. Stephen i would like to see a horse fight an april. That would be fun. Yeah, that would be cool. laughter im just saying, not that you dont need protein, but stephen eat nuts. You dont hear people dying for lack of protein. People get too much protein. Stephen okay. O fruits, vegetables, you know, youre going to live large in the next 17 days. Stephen pop tarts . That kind of thing . Pop tarts . Stephen i dont think there is any meat in a pop tart. Can i have a pop tart . laughter if theres meat in a pop tart, tell me now. There is going to be dairy in a pop tart. Stephen cant do dairy . Youre going vegan, right . Stephen i guess so. laughter pop tart. So that was your goto food, right . Stephen laughter stephen speaking of pop tarts, i understand you dont smoke weed anymore. Is this true . I dont smoke any less. applause laughter i did. I quit smoking. Stephen so you moved on i quit this morning. Ill pick it up after this. No, i actually did quit. Stephen i understand, speaking of weed, that you moved to maui on the recommendation of willie nelson. Yeah. Stephen how did that come about . What made you think of weed and willie . I dont get it. laughter yeah, what happened, actually, i ran into him in l. A. My friend jim called me up and said, do you want to go see willie . Went and saw him. Hes great. Afterward, his wife came up, said willie wants to meet you. Go back to the bus. Open the door, smoke is billowing out. Stephen youve got to get off that bus fast. Unless you like where youre at, you know. Stephen yeah. Youve got to not worry about whether or not you can walk or talk normally. Stephen yeah. O i had a great talk with him and afterward he said, if you ever want, come stay with me in hawaii. I said, yeah . I think i could go for that. Stephen lets talk about the monkey movie. Okay. The monkey movie. Stephen fantastic. The war for the plant et of the apes. I have been thinking about changing it to the monkey movie. laughter thats unbelievable. Stephen its got monkeys in it, right . Yeah. There is monkeys in it for sure, man. Stephen reasonable shortland. Its incredible. The evolution of apes now that they can act, its great. Stephen incredible laughter yeah. Stephen and the circus trains them. applause you seem awfully angry in this movie. Who is your character in who is this guy whos i thought i seemed relatively sweetnatured in that clip. Stephen okay. Yeah. Stephen your character doesnt like the intelligent apes, i understand . Yeah, well, my character believes that there is no room for humans and apes, so weve got to eliminate the apes in order to save the humans. Its an understandable thing. Stephen its not an unle reasonable position to have, really, speaking as a human. Yeah. Stephen because lets remember, all the humans have been wiped out by a disease that then makes the april smart. Right. Stephen so its selfpreservation. Selfpreservation. Stephen yeah. Thats where hes at. Stephen whats your characters name . The colonel. Stephen i might be procolonel in this movie. Yeah. Stephen i havent even seen it and i said that. laughter yeah, the people here, whoever watches it, theyre not going to be in my corner on this. Stephen you sure . No. I think hes a sweet guy, but laughter stephen you kind of have to think hes a sweet guy when youre performing him, right . When youre playing him. Stephen you cant not like your character, right . Yeah, i loved the guy for a while, and now you watch the movie, hes not as loveable as laughter at the time, a year ago, he was full loveable. Stephen yeah, yeah. Everything okay . That thing moves, keeps moving. Stephen so you dont smoke weed anymore laughter applause piano riff yeah, well, you dont have to smoke a brownie, dude. You know what im saying . Stephen i have no idea. I have no idea. cheers and applause listen, man, lovely to see you again. Pleasure. Stephen hope to see you often. Can i keep this . Stephen what . Can i keep it . Stephen yeah, sure, why not. Stephen yeah, sure, why not. War of the flap et of the apes is in theaters friday. Woody harrelson, everybody you know, that actually reminds me, steve. I got you something. Aloha mangoes can get sunburned. Put some flavor in your break with new snapple mango tea make time for snapple. Four seconds on the clock, championship on the line. Erin the sharpshooter shanahan fakes left. Shes outside of the key, she shoots. 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[crunch] yeah [slap] [slap] [punch] [crunch] stephen to celebrate the 20th anniversary of her newly reissued album, Emmylou Harris, here performing pilgrim, Emmylou Harris and her red dirt boys cheers and applause thank you, stephen. This song is for the over 65 million displaced persons around the world. cheers and applause i am just a pilgrim on this road, boys i am just a pilgrim on this road, boys i am just a pilgrim on this road, boys this aint never been my home sometimes the road was rocky long the way, boys sometimes the road was rocky long the way, boys sometimes the road was rocky long the way, boys but i was never travelin alone well meet again on some bright highway songs to sing and tales to tell but i am just a pilgrim on this road, boys until i see you fare thee well aint no need to cry for me, boys aint no need to cry for me, boys aint no need to cry for me, boys somewhere down the road youll understand cause i expect to touch his hand, boys i expect to touch his hand, boys i expect to touch his hand, boys put a word in for you if i can well meet again on some bright highway songs to sing and tales to tell but i am just a pilgrim on this road, boys i am just a pilgrim on this road, boys i am just a pilgrim on this road, boys until i see you fare thee well until i see you fare thee well cheers and applause Emmylou Harris, everybody well be right back cheers and applause you know what i could go for right now . Hmmm some sweet barbeque. over speaker or spicy we got a craving go go go crashing cravings in the crave van. Jacks gonna crash your crave here, try my barbeque Bacon Cheeseburger with your choice of sweet or spicy barbeque sauce topped with bacon and onion rings. Thanks jack. Ha ha piece of cake. Oh, jack you crave it, we serve it. My new sweet or spicy barbeque Bacon Cheeseburger and chicken sandwich. Crave van stephen thats it for the late show. Join me next week when ill be joined by former Vice President al gore, jason bateman, and Keegan Michael key. And its russia week now stick around for james corden. Goodnight cheers and applause band playing captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from bearville, minnesota, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden