And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 483. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy please. Oh have a seat. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome thats right [ cheers and applause ] thats right, welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Thank you so much. It makes me feel good. [ cheers and applause ] its going to be fun tonight. Lets get to some news. Heres what everybodys talking about. Some big election news. Its being reported that Hillary Clinton now has enough delegates to secure the democratic nomination. Thats right. [ cheers ] hillary was so excited when she found out she asked her staff to schedule 15 seconds of smiling. [ laughter and applause ] no . Thats right, Hillary Clinton has apparently earned enough delegates to clinch the nomination. Hillary told her assistant to break out the champagne. And he said, actually you drank it all when trump secured his nomination. Do you remember that . [ cheers and applause ] of course hillary had to reach the threshold of 2,383 delegates to become the presumptive nominee. Hillary hasnt been this excited about a threshold since the one she carried bill over on their wedding night. [ laughter and applause ] put me down. Put me down. I get it. I get it. [ laughter ] i get the point. I understand. This Morning HouseMinority Leader Nancy Pelosi endorsed Hillary Clinton for president and said it would be fabulous if she picks a female running mate. [ cheers and applause ] hillary said, good idea. Do you know anyone who didnt wait to endorse me until the day i clinched the nomination nancy pelosi [ cheers and applause ] do you know anyone who didnt want to endorse me until the day i clinched the nomination, nancy pelosi [ cheers and applause ] now youre my best friend, nancy pelosi [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now youre my best friend nancy pelosi now youre my best friend Nancy Pelosi Steve tequila. Jimmy i dont know whats going on. Hillary, calm down. Unbelievable. Steve craziness. Jimmy well, the Associated Press is actually the first to report that hillary has gotten enough delegates to be the nominee. And a lot of people are confused how this could have happened before the primaries today, but the math is pretty simple. Take a look. You see, the number we have her overall here is 2,384. And the magic number 2,383. She needed 28 delegates. Remember, this yesterday, she needed 28, steve. If he can get make this 29, 28. If he can get this down to within 100. And thats why zero is our most important number of the day. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, yeah, okay, that makes perfect sense. Yeah. That clears everything up. Thank you very much. [ laughter ] i understand. I feel like this will be the first time we vote for a a president and have to show our work. [ laughter and applause ] its like, carry the four. But now its looking like Hillary Clinton has the nomination locked up. A lot of people are hoping that the election might calm down a a little, and things can get a a little more civil. Yeah. And i think were off to a a pretty good start. Take a look. After what she said about me today and her phony speech. That was a phony speech. That was a donald trump hit job. I will say this, Hillary Clinton has to go to jail. Okay. She has to go to jail. Jimmy okay. All right. Hey. She has to go to jail. She has to go to jail. She cannot pass go or collect 200. [ cheers and applause ] she has to go directly to jail. Move the little shoe out of the way. Though, she can spend money at the beautiful trump hotel on baltic avenue. [ applause ] some more trouble for donald trump. Today, paul ryan said what trump is saying about a judge of mexican heritage is the textbook definition of a a racist comment. Even worse, that textbook is made by Trump University. [ laughter and applause ] and you go, thats the irony. Nancy pelosi. [ laughter ] i saw that Elizabeth Warren recently compared Trump University to a used car dealership taking advantage of people. Yeah. Thats not really a fair comparison. Since, unlike a degree from Trump University, a used car can actually get you somewhere. [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] see thats the difference. Steve ho, hey jimmy sue me well, this is kind of scary here. Nasa just confirmed an asteroid that entered the earths atmosphere last week actually caused a sonic boom over arizona. Dont worry, everyone, if an asteroid comes close to the earth, nasa will be sure to fill us in a few days later. [ laughter and applause ] so dont youre all right. Dont worry about it. Last night was another episode of the bachelorette. You know thats my jam. [ cheers and applause ] the best. And things got pretty tense when one of the guys is accused of doing steroids. [ light laughter ] yeah. [ laughter ] thats not fair to judge. [ laughter ] host Chris Harrison decided to confront him about it. His name is chad. And im not sure if he did a a great job of denying this. Watch. He made a comment about you being on steroids or testosterone. Yeah, no, i didnt even care about that. A lot of the guys have mentioned youre on steroids. Yeah. Theres no way i could have brought them with me anyways. Thats not possible. [ laughter ] jimmy i knew i couldnt bring any steroids so i took six months wort before i came to this thing. Whats the big deal . [ laughter and applause ] back off, man back off, pelosi [ laughter ] finally, a little celebrity news. Kylie jenner recently posted a a snapchat video of herself giving two little boys 100 for just two cups of lemonade. [ light laughter ] nobody has paid that much for lemonade since jay z. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, everybody. A couple weeks ago, a couple weeks ago, i mentioned this fun thing that we want to do with all the dads out there for fathers day. Any dads out there in the audience . [ cheers ] all right. So we had tariq from the roots write an original rap song in honor of dads. Now we want to make a dad rap video. Okay . And we need your help. So if youre a dad, we want you to learn the songs and then videotape yourself rapping it. Not lipsynching it, rapping it, yeah. And once youre done, upload your video to youtube with the title tonight show dad rap. To see the lyrics and hear the song, head over to tonightshow. Com dadrap. Its going to be fun. And you can show your kids that youre a real cool dad. [ laughter and applause ] steve a rapper. Rapping is neat i like to rap all the time at the party steve flow. Jimmy give me a beat. Now hold it. Take it back. Not ready for it yet. [ light laughter ] steve gotta get ready. Jimmy all right. All right. Let me try that beat one more time. Nah, wasnt ready. Im sorry, i was off again. And here i go. Not now. And here i go. And one, two. Not ready yet. And almost time to give me the beat. And uh give it to me give me now the beat and that jimmy no. [ cheers and applause ] we want to see that. We want to see that video. I want to see those videos. Come on, man, make them crazy, go for it. Steve come on, dad. Jimmy come on, your kids will love you. Steve live large. Jimmy youll never live it down. Steve yeah. Jimmy it will be fantastic. Guys, we have a great week of shows ahead. Tomorrow night, mark ruffalo will be here. Paula patton. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the lucas brothers. Steve whoa jimmy the lucas brothers will be joining us. Then on thursday, i am so excited for this. He will be the first sitting president to appear on the tonight show in this studio, president barack obama will be here, ladies and gentlemen. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats cool. Plus, if thats not enough, our musical guest that night will be one of the biggest stars in the world, the legendary madonna will be performing for us. Steve whoa [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right. The president of the United States and madonna on one show. That is this thursday night. Dont forget. [ cheers and applause ] they go everywhere together. Steve yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy theyre always together. Steve theyre always together. Jimmy i always see them together. Steve yeah, thats it. Jimmy in fact, ive never seen them in the same room. Steve are you serious . Jimmy thats correct. Steve what are you saying . Jimmy im saying this thursday night, set your dvrs, set your tivoss, set your steve fisherprice recording devices. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, whatever you set. Betamax. Steve grab a few polaroids. Jimmy honey, i got one blank tape left in the betamax. [ light laughter ] im going to use it to tape jimmy fallon thursday. But its only 32 minutes long. [ light laughter ] well, i have to cut out his monologue. Steve yeah. Cant do that. Jimmy and his desk chitchat. Steve no, dont want that bogart. Jimmy i dont want that. Steve i just want the prez and i want madonna. Jimmy i want the prez and i want madge. [ laughter ] i want her majesty, honey. That is this thursday night. Im very excited. We, of course, we have a fun show tonight. I love this guy. Hes such a fantastic actor. I love him. Hes also a New York Times bestselling author. This is his new book right here. This is a graphic novel called indeh a story of the apache wars. Ethan hawke is here. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy love that dude. Plus, he is the host of the new usa show First Impressions and he just released his first cookbook, back to the kitchen, Freddie Prinze jr. Is stopping by. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] got some good jams on here. And we got great music from Ingrid Michaelson steve hey [ cheers and applause ] hell no. Jimmy guys, it is time to take a look at these stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. Its time for pros and cons. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] pros and cons and pros and cons and pros jimmy thank you, guys. Thank you, roots. Tonight well be taking a look at pros and cons of the nba finals. Steve ooh. Jimmy its the Golden State Warriors taking on the cleveland cavaliers. Lots of fans are excited about the series. So lets take a look at the pros and cons of the nba finals. Here we go. Pro, its a matchup between the two best teams in the nba. Con, the Golden State Warriors and lebron james. [ light laughter ] both tough teams. Steve both fantastic teams. Jimmy both fantastic teams. Steve hard working. Jimmy pro, players voted steph curry mvp or most valuable player. [ cheers ] con, trump voted him m. A. A. Or my africanamerican. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh. Jimmy a new award . Steve is that an award they give out . Jimmy is that a new award . It must be a new award. Ive never heard of that. Steve he trumped it. He got trumped. [ light laughter ] jimmy pro, the cavs are trailing two games to none. Con, or as Bernie Sanders supporters put it, theyre winning no. No, no, thats not no. Pro, the warriors coach is steve kerr. And their star player is steph curry. Con, steph curry sounds like a a drunk person trying to say steve kerr. Like, im steph curry. Steph curry. [ laughter ] [ hiccup ] am i a pretty head coach . [ light laughter ] [ hiccup ] hi, nice to meet you. Im steph curry. [ laughter ] pro, warriors forward Draymond Green is a fan favorite. Con, Everybody Loves draymond. Yeah, there you go. Steve oh. Jimmy draymond. Steve draymond. Jimmy draymond. Draymond [ laughter ] draymond til the dream comes true pro, tuning in to abc to watch the nba finals. Con, then turning into the bachelorette to watch the std final. [ light laughter ] steve oh, really . Jimmy thats good tv. And you dont know whos going to win. Steve you never know. Jimmy you never know. Steve you never know which one is jimmy i dont know how those roids got in here. [ laughter ] steve i couldnt even take them. Jimmy roids. Steve steroid. Jimmy roid. Pro, taco bell will give away free tacos if a team wins on the road. Con, chipotle will give away free guac if a team im just kidding. Theyre never gonna give away free guac. [ laughter and applause ] steve aint gonna happen. Never gonna get it never gonna get it never gonna get it never gonna get it never gonna get it never gonna get it never gonna get it never gonna wowwowwow [ laughter ] steve guac. Guac n roll. Jimmy guac. [ laughter ] finally, pro, lebron has been to the finals six years in a a row. [ cheers ] con, at this point, they should just go ahead and put an i in team. There you go. Thats the pros and cons. Well be right back with more of the tonight show, everybody [ cheers and applause ] closing the stage this afternoon for auditions . Whats on that piece of paper . Oh, miss maroney, your forehead should not be doing anything. I just had botox. I know exactly whats happening ah whoa this is a bad streaming experience. The girlie show is a real fun lady show. vo dont let bad streaming ruin a good show. Dont look at me vo only verizon has the largest, most reliable 4g lte network. Switch now, buy two samsung phones, and get a free 50 smart tv, plus up to 650 back. Only on americas best network. Start boldly with the apple that bites back. Redds wicked apple. Also available in mango and black cherry. Thats socially acceptable. On what you do, thats fine. Or you can put an exclamation point on it like new chips ahoy soft chunky cookies. Theyre soft and chunky. But also soft and chunky made with whe gets a ready for you alert the second his room is ready. So you know what he gives . Ill give you everything ive got and then some. He gives a hundred and ten percent im confident this 10 can boost your market share. Feel me lois . Im feeling you. Boom look at that pie chart. The ready for you alert, only at laquinta. Com. Take on the unexpected with a car that could stop for you. Nissan safety shield technologies, available in the altima, sentra and maxima. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, everybody, welcome back. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for watching. Guys, theres this website called fmylife. Com. Where people who have had a bad day can go online and tell everyone their story and they always end the same way, fml. Which is interesting, because im actually in a Country Music band called fml. [ light laughter ] and we rotate our band members, kind of like menudo. [ laughter ] so if you dont mind, i thought we could sing a few real fml country songs right now. But first [ cheers and applause ] please welcome, my partner, ethan hawke, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] oh, hey [ cheers ] oh, hey. Jimmy hey, yeah. How you doing, ethan . Im doing all right, jimmy. Im doing all right. Jimmy hows it going . Well, its not going too good. Can i tell you about it . Jimmy love to hear it. Today my dentist gave me laughing gas and in my drugged up state i told him that i wanted to hang out with him so were going to an art museum next tuesday [ laughter ] fml [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, man. That is pretty bad. Its a rough one, jimmy. Jimmy thats right, oh. Yeah. Jimmy i want you to listen to this one here. [ laughter ] today i got back my history term paper the whole thing was crossed out and at the end my professor just wrote nope [ laughter ] fml [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah. Boy, thats tough stuff, jimmy. Thats real tough stuff. Jimmy that is a bummer. That is a real bummer. [ laughter ] can i lay another one on you . Jimmy oh, man, lay it down, lay it down. Today for the very first time i decided to just be myself at work my boss asked me if i was drunk fml [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that aint right. That aint a good thing. No. It aint, jimmy. It aint. Jimmy i think that is rough stuff, brother. [ laughter ] that aint good, man, that aint good, no. Almost as rough as this. Today i was washing my hands in the bathroom looked up and saw a spider on my cheek slapped myself in the face as hard as i could to kill it it turns out the spider was on the mirror fml jimmy i mean, that is [ cheers and applause ] it happens to the best of us, jimmy. It sure does. Jimmy it happens to the best of us. I couldnt believe yeah, tough stuff. Tough stuff. Jimmy hey, yeah. Well. Jimmy we do a lot to do sorry. You all right there . You got something in your throat . You need a glass of water . Jimmy no, you know what, i have my phone on vibrate. Someones calling me right now and its here in my collar. Hold on a second. Ill get it. Hello . I got to call you back, im doing a song with sorry, im doing a song with ethan hawke. [ light laughter ] yeah, sorry. No, the phone was vibrating so thats why my throat all right, ill talk to you later. All right, call back but leave a message. Act like nothings happening. All all right, there we go. Lets do this last one together. What do you think . Well, i sure would like that, jimmy. Today i told my threeyearold daughter to behave or id spank her she looked right at me and she said bring it [ cheers and applause ] fml jimmy my thanks to ethan hawke, ladies and gentlemen stick around. Well be right back with more of the tonight show. [ cheers and applause ] never underestimate the power of energizer. Our longest lasting energizer max ever. Help you experience this world . Oh man ive only been to one place oh i have a great idea maybe i can go to the rainforest. Any ideas for my little ones first big trip. Every mastercard world card comes with a concierge who can help you book a dream trip, arrange experiences and much more. Hey, youre going to need more of these. Learn more at priceless. Com world can you say i love it . Oh love it . Can you say hey . Hey thats the spirit oooooh. Ooh ooh wooh ooh wooh ooh sing sing, baby baby i love you. Oh yes. Ooooh oooh. Every little thing. Start boldly with the apple that bites back. Redds wicked apple. Also available in mango and black cherry. To be taken care of. In good hands . Like finding new ways home, car, Life Insurance obviously, ohhh. But with added touches you cant get everywhere else, like claim free rewards. Or safe driving bonus checks. Even a claim satisfaction guaranteeeeeeeeeee in means Protection Plus unique extras only from an expert allstate agent. Its good to be in, good hands. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is a a fourtime Academy Awardnominated actor and writer. And this is his brandnew graphic novel, titled indeh the story of the apache wars, which became available today. Pick it up wherever graphic novels are sold. Please welcome the multitalented ethan hawke, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is ethan hawke right there, ladies and gentlemen. Come on, come on. [ cheers and applause ] the one and only. Thank you. Jimmy thank you for coming back to the show. We have fun things to talk about. Youre still doing a a southern drawl, i think. Jimmy well, i a little bit you are, jimmy. Jimmy sometimes i stay in my character. I couldnt help it. [ light laughter ] thank you for doing that bit. I appreciate you doing that. cause you can sing, man. Not as well as you. Jimmy yeah, come on. You talking about . I want to do a full country album together. You know . We should do that. [ cheers ] jimmy i would totally do that. Yeah, itd be fun, right . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy they love it. I mean, the guys got skills. Jimmy i can do it cause i never get embarrassed around you because, you know, ive told you the story every time you come on the show. I go because, i love that youre one of my favorite actors of all time. Still are. I cant even look you in the eye. [ laughter ] i do really love you that much and i remember, i just got saturday night live and we lived kind of close to each other in the neighborhood and i wore this ja i got this jacket made, a leather jacket. And it said saturday night live on the side. He was worried people werent going to recognize him [ laughter ] so he wore the jacket. Jimmy i never wore it because i go, i dont want to wear the shirt that says the job i have. Because i was just so excited i got the job. So i go i didnt never wore it. And i go, i know, ill just wear it one day. So i wear it, i was walking down the street, and i run into my idol, ethan hawke. And i go, hey, whats up, ethan . How are you . And you go and you looked at the word and you go, not enough people recognize you . [ laughter ] ill never forget it. Ill never forget it. And we laughed. And you were with your daughter. And i just go i just walked away. I was so embarrassed. Have you ever worn the jacket again . Jimmy never wore the jacket again. But i decided to the only thing fair would be to bring in the jacket. Oh, man. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and give it to you. This is beautiful. Its the jacket i got. Wow jimmy this is it right here. People recognize you. Its your show. Jimmy saturday night live. This is roots. This is before i worked with the roots. They were making their own line of jackets. [ laughter ] i think you should try it on. Yeah, im going to give it to you. Ill wear this the rest of my life. [ laughter ] like, youre going to see me jimmy check this guy. I think you can pull this one off. [ cheers and applause ] not bad. Right . Not too shabby right there. This is cool, man. [ light laughter ] jimmy it is cool, right . [ light laughter ] thats the real one, man. Thats the actual this is the actual one. Jimmy thats the actual jacket. Never i wore it once. [ laughter ] you can pull it off. Hes like, i cant believe, like, you pulled it off. Ethan, its like crazy, like wheres sandy . I mean, come on, we got like were down, like, we got to race cars and everything, you know. [ cheers ] you dont have to wear it the whole thing. But it is a gift, and whenever whenever youre cold or anything im never taking this off. [ laughter ] im going to get my name printed on the back to make sure i get recognized more often. [ light laughter ] right . Jimmy so embarrassing. Yeah. You can do that and give it back to me, yeah. Besides the new book, i cant wait to talk about this and how you came up with this, indeh. You have a ton of new movies that i want to go through. Phenom. The phenom. Baseball movie, yep. Jimmy the phenom, yeah. You have born to be blue. Jazz movie. Jimmy chet baker, yeah. The magnificent seven. Yep, thats a western. Jimmy and maggies plan. Yep, thats a romantic comedy. Jimmy yeah. How fun. I mean [ cheers and applause ] not bad. Youre a busy man. What kind of its the best thing about my job. When im studying to play chet baker, right, all i do is play the trumpet. And thats jimmy you learn how to play the trumpet. Thats my life. I got a trumpet teacher comes over, and we work on it, makes my family crazy. But at least i get to do it. Jimmy what do you do for how do you practice magnificent seven . Ridin horses. I mean thats all my whole job, i have to jimmy what do you do for maggies plan . Um, i practice making out with greta gerwig and julianne moore. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, thats a good gig. Thats a good gig right there. Ive seen maggies plan. Thats in theaters now, and its fantastic, by the way. Oh, thank you. Jimmy i just loved it. It was really, really fun, really different, interesting, cool. And then magnificent seven, this trailer is blowing up on the internet. Its a western, baby. Its the same director as training day. And obviously the same star, denzel washington. Jimmy denzel. You and denzel back together again. [ cheers and applause ] it was the longest, most epic film shoot. Ive been making movies since i was 13. Jimmy yeah. And we were ought there all summer long shooting bad guys, riding horses. It was definitely it has the chance of being one of the best movies ive ever been involved with. Jimmy is that right . Yeah, no, i love it. I love it. Jimmy where were you filming, where were you shooting . Louisiana and santa fe. Jimmy wow. And you know how to ride horses and stuff . Well, you do now. I do know. [ light laughter ] jimmy exactly, yeah. How fun is that . Who else is in it with you . Chris pratt. Jimmy vincent donofrio. Oh, yeah, funny, huge, great cast. Peter sarsgaard. At the end of the movie well, i cant really blow it, but ill say this jimmy you see dead people. [ laughter ] there is a moment in the movie i have to ride back into dodge, you know, on horseback, you know, firing the winchester and everything. So i had to train all summer just to ride the horse, you know. Jimmy and you really did it. Yeah, of course you did. Come on. [ cheers ] i mean, you dont get to wear the jacket for nothing, you know . Jimmy you dont get to wear that jacket for nothing. Youve got to earn this jacket. Jimmy you got to earn that jacket. Yeah. Jimmy looks good, man. Subtle. You dont even know youre wearing it, really. [ laughter ] well, its better if i wasnt actually on saturday night live, so it will confuse people. Theyll think im robert downey, jr. Or something. [ laughter ] jimmy explain this explain the story first. Its important to say this to you, which is that this is not one of those situations where like a celebrity writes a a book and somebody illustrates it, all right. This guy, greg ruth, who drew this book its a graphic novel is a major artist. And im so proud to be associated with it. Its the story of geronimo and chief cochise and the story of the apache wars. It tries to incorporate their point of view as well as the white point of view. And its such a beautiful part of American History that a lot of people even in the southwest dont know, and its something as a kid growing up in texas and camping with my dad was really important to me. Jimmy how was it important to you . Did your dad tell you the stories or . He told me them, but he would take me, wed go camping down at cochises stronghold, and wed see the reservations. And id get real curious about what happened. And you know, i grew up watching all these cowboy movies, in which you think the cowboys are all the good guys. Jimmy yeah. And then you turn 13, 14 and your whole point of view starts to shift about, wait a second, what was happening . Jimmy yeah. And it just surprised me how much we dont get taught this part of history. And its so its not like, some boring history where, you know, you want to its really thrilling. Jimmy its not textbook, its more action than ive ever seen in any graphic novel, yeah. And i kept thinking if shakespeare were alive, you know, hed want to tell the story of geronimo. And this is an its not just hes an incredibly multifaceted figure who is not one thing, you know . Hes part victim, part hero, part noble, part betrayer. Its really complicated. Jimmy how did you end up doing a graphic novel . I wanted my dream was to make a movie of it. You know, to make a movie about geronimo. But i realized how hard it would be, and how difficult and expensive it would be. And my son is really into graphic novels. I was buying them for him to get him reading, interested in reading. And i saw this one, conan born on the battlefield, drawn by greg ruth. And i was just blown away by all the emotion in it and how poetic it was. And i thought, well, wait a a second, maybe its not a a movie, maybe its a graphic novel. And then six years later im on the jimmy fallon show. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] go figure. Jimmy if youre selling graphic novels, put this in the front window. And everyone go out and pick up this book. Indeh right there. [ cheers and applause ] ethan hawke, everybody. His new graphic novel indeh available now. Well be right back with Freddie Prinze ,jr. Stick around. [ cheers and applause ] whatcha gonna do when you get outta here . Im gonna have some fun what do you consider fun . Fun, natural fun. Yeah, we rocking right now. Its a party over here. Hey im in heaven owww. 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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is a a talented actor who you can see as the host of the new competition series, First Impressions. Its about impressions. Its very funny. Airing tuesdays at 10 30 p. M. On usa. Hes also written his first cookbook, back to the kitchen, which is in stores now. I want to talk to him about this. Everyone, please welcome, my man, Freddie Prinze jr. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome, welcome, welcome thank you, sir jimmy thank for coming on [ cheers and applause ] they love you, buddy. Thank you for being on this show. I appreciate it. Jimmy i want to ask you, because we just did an fml bit earlier. Ah, yes. What does fml stand for . Jimmy uh, my life. Its not borat. My life my life [ laughter ] jimmy no, fml. Do you have any you have to have any fml stories. Everyone has one. Yeah, that sucks to have to tell that story. Jimmy come on people want to hear it though. Wow, okay. Most humiliating moment ever. So, i was 17 years old, full of testosterone. Jimmy yeah. Postpubescent. All right, postpubescent. [ laughter ] jimmy okay, okay, okay. I had hair in the right places. And those [ laughter ] i did. [ cheers ] there was this jimmy your back . [ laughter ] okay, we got that covered. Well, i dont look, i dont know. There was this girl. Her name was jamie. I wont say her last name, in case shes married with kids now. But i had a bigtime crush on her. She was a soccer girl. I had a thing for soccer girls, and she came over to my house to talk to me. So, i was like, ooh. I was a loser in high school. [ laughter ] girls didnt talk to the guy who played dungeons dragons and thought karate was cool. [ cheers ] now, its like, ooh, the ufc. Oh, he plays video games . So do i. But back then, not cool. Jimmy you were not cool, no. So jamie comes over to the house. Im talking to her on the front porch. My mom had, like, the greenest thumb ever. Even in albuquerque, new mexico, she could grow anything. And she had a giant barrel that she was going to fill with soil and put some plants in and make look nice. Im spitting my best 16yearold game to this girl, and try to talk about everything that i dont like to be cool. Because if i mention something im passionate about, shes gone. Jimmy yeah. So im talking to her, and its going great. Like, everythings cool. And shes like, oh, yeah, la da da. She had blonde hair and freckles and real cute. Jimmy yeah. And i took one step backward, and the barrel was behind me. And you know how you see the body just fold up like this . [ laughter ] jimmy like a flip phone. Now, i got air jordans on, so no matter what, it will look cool. But when your legs go straight up in the air and youre literally kissing your knees, its the worst. [ laughter ] and shes going, oh, god im so sorry let me help you your male prides like, no, no, no i got it please go please leave please leave [ laughter ] jimmy thats actually hard to get out of that situation, yeah. So, she actually left. And i was like, no, you have to go im fine ill get out as soon as you leave you just have to go, go, go [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my god so you started yelling at her from in a barrel . Yes, so she left, and i literally had a good six or seven minutes of wiggling left to right until the barrel freaking fell over and i could crawl out. [ laughter ] so thats was the only way out. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats not bad. Thats actually pretty good. Thank you jimmy because youre basically just screaming at your crotch, go away go away dont look at me dont talk to me anymore thats a great impression of me. Jimmy thank you. Thats awesome. Jimmy i have a lot to talk to you about. First all, you wrote a a cookbook. I did write a cookbook. Jimmy now, what made you write a cookbook . Im psyched about this. My wife tried to get me to write one for about four years. But as we do, the person closest to you who gives you the best advice, you reject categorically. Jimmy yeah, of course. And its not until someone else says, you know what would be a good idea . And you go, yeah a cookbook thats a great idea and sarah goes, yeah, isnt it . [ laughter ] jimmy theres one story in here that i think is very interesting on page 55. Oh, yeah. Jimmy veal piccata. So, ive never said this actors name before. But, i love him and hes a good friend of mine. I dont say it in the book, but ill say it now. I did a play, thanks to your freaking father, who got me so drunk that i agreed to do a a play in london with some producer who i didnt even know. [ laughter ] jimmy calm down im not your im not your crotch dont yell at me like that. So, i end up jimmy i said that a a thousand times. If i had a penny for every time i said that. So i ended up in london doing a play with chris klein, and i took him to my favorite restaurant out there. They made this veal piccata dish. I became friends with the chef, and he actually taught me to make it. And we were there, and we had a a few drinks. And, were in the elevator going down quite a few drinks. And we were in our 20s. It was all right. And we were in the elevator, and there was this british guy with this girl in there. And he says, oh he didnt recognize us, and he heard us talking, because were both drunk and loud, and as you can tell, i dont shut up. [ laughter ] and the guy goes, oh, so youre american . American . And chris goes, u. S. A. , baby. [ laughter ] the guy goes, what phony american accents. And he walks away. And chris gets hot. Hes like, yo, that guy thinks were fake americans [ laughter ] im like, so what . And the guy leaves jimmy such a drunk problem. [ laughter ] yeah, absolutely. Jimmy stop, take a a breath. Thank you for relating to it. So we went out a different way, but sure enough, they happened to be on the same path. This path we went down the thames river. And chris, he had on sneakers, i had on nice shoes, so he was faster that day. And he ran down the board walk, grabbed this guy, and by the time i catch up, hes shaking him. Chris, im so sorry im telling this. [ laughter ] i love you, brother. And hes shaking the guy. He goes, say i have a fake accent now the guys like, i dont understand jimmy i dont even care i dont even give a crap hes literally like and his girlfriends like, oh, my god what are you doing . [ laughter ] jimmy you have a fake accent too [ laughter ] fin finally, he grabs the guy and just launches him. And the guys in the air long enough, meaning were up above the river, high enough, that i can hear this poor bastard scream, no [ laughter and applause ] splash into the river. Jimmy oh, my goodness. Its wintertime. Jimmy oh, my goodness. I have to run down the bank. I was dressed nice. I had good shoes. I had an armani jacket. I was feeling good. Now im wet, dirty, mad gross. I pulled this guy out. Now im mad at him. Jimmy yeah. I was drunk too, but im like, you had to say he had a a fake accent, you dumb son of a bitch [ laughter ] jimmy what is your problem . Leave me alone so his girl caught up jimmy actually, im from new jersey. So ive been joking around, too. [ laughter ] exactly. Jimmy oh, my god. His girl came up. They went on their way. And, you know, chris and i had a long talk on the way home. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my god that is the craziest story i ever heard. And somehow my dad got connected to that. [ cheers and applause ] the whole storys in there. These are fantastic recipes, and congrats on doing this, because its just fun, and it had good recipes in here. But also, congrats on the show as well. Yeah, man, its with dana carvey, bro. [ cheers and applause ] i get to push the dana button. I literally can just turn him into the church lady. Turn him into george bush. Jimmy he does every turn him into anybody, and nobody gets the button but me jimmy oh, hes the greatest. Its very, very funny. Its basically, impressionists doing improv. Jimmy whoever wins based on audience applause gets 10 grand . Yeah, its a legit vote. I dont get to pick. They do. And its a sinkorswim kind of show, man. Its a lot of i go to a comedy club and watch people make me laugh, basically. Thats my job. Its awesome. Jimmy no, but youre also i should say i dont know if you knew this, but youre a fantastic host. Oh, well, thank you very much. Jimmy yeah, so know that. All right. Jimmy i love seeing you, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] Freddie Prinze jr. how great is Freddie Prinze jr. . First impressions airs tuesdays at 10 30 on usa. [ cheers and applause ] back to the kitchen is in stores now. Well be right back with a a performance from Ingrid Michaelson. [ cheers and applause ] [ electricity buzzing ] start boldly with the apple that bites back. 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Debuting her new single, hell no, please welcome Ingrid Michaelson [ cheers and applause ] i shoulda known better i saw her wearing your sweater nice glasses fake red hair just like me stop crying stop crawling cant you see that i have stopped falling we were good at faking forever i get it whatever am i gonna miss you hell no baby watch me up and go mama said that the boys like you never work out anyway my girlfriends say are you gonna be sad if he calls you up you gonna take him back i said hell no oh hell no i get it whatever straight up dont blame you youre not the cash and im not the june never be the one to make you better whatever hell no baby watch me up and go mama said that the boys like you never work out anyway my girlfriends say are you gonna be sad if he calls you up you gonna take him back i said hell no oh hell no in my bed late at night thinking of how you held me tight and will i be lonely when i wake did we make a big mistake hell no baby watch me up and go i always knew that a boy like you wouldnt work out anyway are you gonna take him back hell no baby watch me up and go mama said that the boys like you never work out anyway my girlfriends say are you gonna be sad if he calls you up you gonna take him back i said hell no oh hell no hell no oh hell no baby watch me up and go i always knew that a boy like you wouldnt work out anyway my girlfriends say are you gonna be sad if he calls you up you gonna take him back i said hell no oh hell no hell no oh hell no hell no oh hell no [ cheers and applause ] thank you jimmy thank you come on. Thank you very, very much. Fantastic Ingrid Michaelson hell no is available on itunes now. Well be right back, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to ethan hawke, Freddie Prinze jr. , Ingrid Michaelson once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight morgan freeman. From warcraft actor, rob kazinsky. Music from jake bugg. Featuring the 8g band with jon theodore. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, Seth Meyers Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doin tonight . [ cheers and applause ] thats great to hear. In that case lets get to the news. The Associated Press reported yesterday that Hillary Clinton is now the Presumptive Democratic president ial nominee. Making her the first woman to be nominated for president by a major u. S. Party