Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170225

Dicky from hollywood its Jimmy Kimmel Live after the oscars tonight ben affleck, tracy morgan, henry cavill, jesse isenberg, j. K. Simmons, will arnett, nathan lane, matthew broderick, mike tyson, and less. Plus we go live to the governors ball. With cleto and the cletones. And now lights, camera, action heres jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. I was not expecting it. Thank you. Im jimmy. Thanks for watching. Thanks for staying up. I know its late for a sunday night but welcome to our 11th annual after the oscars special. The statues have been handed out, the speeches have been spoken, and once again i was not invited to any of the after parties so here we are together. [ cheers and applause ] making the best of it. It was a night of controversy. It was a night of awareness. It was a night of a lot of uncomfortable famous white people trying to make sure they clapped when the cameras were on them. As you know there were no black nominees in the acting categories. Tonights oscar hopefuls were whiter than the line to buy tshirts at a Michael Bolton concert. The only way a black or hispanic or asian actor was going to win an oscar was if they let steve harvey announce the winner and that didnt happen. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the show went mostly as expected, there werent a ton of surprises. The Biggest Surprise was learning theres actually a movie called the 100 year old man who climbed out the window and disappeared. It was an interesting show. The sound cut out on one of the guys who won best sound design. True. I think the person the kid who introduced best short was short. So that was good. And the woman who won best costume design showed up dressed like this. This is the second oscar and tenth nomination for jenny bevin. Who took home her first oscar in this category for a room with a view. Jimmy she looked like sammy hagar in sturgis. I guess she doesnt take her work home with her. Spotlight won best picture. Thats a little bit of a surprise. Brie larson won best actress. [ cheers and applause ] Leonardo Dicaprio won best actor. Leo had been nominated six times. Until tonight he never won but everyone kept saying, this is his year. And it was. But you know, the man has had sex with a different victorias secret model every night of every year of his year. From 1991 on has been his year. And it was a special night whether youre a fan of movies, movie stars, or the Ryan Seacrest mens wear collection. We still have many great moments in store for you. Ben affleck is here. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy from batman v. Superman. Hes batman. Yesterday was bens 4yearold sons Birthday Party and guess what costume his son made him wear to entertain the kids at the party. Thats right. Well find out how that went. Its not all glamorous, this hollywood stuff. One day youre on the red carpet, next day 15 preschoolers are beating you with pinata sticks. Right now the stars are heading to the governors ball, the postoscars party across the street. Our man guillermo is there standing by live via our big cisco screen. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well get go to him now, guillermo, whats it like, are there any big stars around . Yes, theres a lot of the big stars around here. Beautiful women too. Jimmy why dont you have any of them . Oh. They at the bar right now. Jimmy theyre at the bar, all right. See who you can rustle up for us and well check back later. How many drinks have you had . About 40 shots of tequila. Jimmy okay, great. Perfect. So hes ready to go. Thats actually less than he typically has on a sunday night. Thank you, guillermo. Well check back in with you later at the governors ball. One of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year this year that was not nominated for best picture was creed. The story of rocky balboa training the son of one of his great idols. Stallone was nominated for an oscar. It would not be a movie without a sequel. The World Premiere trailer for the muchanticipated followup to creed. I dont have a choice this is my one shot. I was born to do this. Cant nobody stop me you got no business being here. Are all these other fighters, theyre fighting for their lives. Look at you. Eating a hero sandwich. Its a hoagie get the hell out of my gym look at this. Your first fight with clubber. You got caught with a right uppercut. Youre sounding like a dolphin with an itchy blow hole. Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee hee hee how do you know so much about that fight . That was my pops. Junior. Thats what maury povich told us. I need you to train me. Train you to do what . What do you think im talking about, fool, to fight. You dont look like a fighter. I been fighting my whole life. Fighting the people who said i couldnt fight. Ha ha ha fighting my demons. Hey, baby. Fighting that lady in the wendys drivethrough because she wouldnt give me extra dipping sauce. Wheres my dipping sauce . All i asked for was extra Honey Mustard aahhh ill teach you to fight, kid. Lets get some shorts on you because we got work to do. Come on. All i asked for was extra Honey Mustard. Come on come on now oohh one. Come on, chicken, come over here boxing isnt just about strength and conditioning. Its about heart. Brains. And fowls and wings over, under, round and through. Meet mr. Bunny pull it through. Youre not focusing. Youve got to focus. Beat that meat like you mean it harder harder youve got to kill him give it to him what the hell are you doing . Whoa, whoa, whoa hey, hey, no no no got it . Youve got it. Youve got it [ cheers and applause ] its the fight nobody thought would happen. This is a fight nobody thought should happen. This is a disgrace to the sport of boxing. But i cant wait to see it. This is our last round, you need this one. I keep thinking its gum. Focus, kid, you need your edge out there rrrow hey, get me some. Honey mustard, you remembered thats right. Now go get him. Clubber. That was clubber. I know, i know. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Love you so much. I got hair in my teeth. Go get him theres the bell, its fight time. Pop . Quit your jibber jabber, fool how am i doing . Good. Yeah. There will be a sequel. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have to take a break but it will be worth it, stay there. We have many stars and many surprises on the way. Its our biggest show of the year. Our 11th annual after the oscars special well be right back after this. [ cheers and applause ] only at t offers you all your live channels and dvr on your devices. Datafree. Entertainment. Your way. Only from at t. A big mac . And a grand mac . Man, theres a big mac for every move. We talking about the left right left crossover what . we got a big mac for that and we talking about 30 feet nothing but net. Splash we definitely got a big mac for that to the hoop star. Alleyoop. Watch your head. Ohhhh theres a big mac for that juicy, cheesy, iconic big mac. Now in three sizes. I want to see what you got. All the way up. Get that out of here, boy. As ai can embrace a worldber, full of surprising moments. The new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts today. Of being there for my sons winning shot. That was it for me. Thats why im quitting with nicorette. Only nicorette mini has a patented fast dissolving formula. It starts to relieve sudden cravings fast. Every great why needs a great how. Every great why hes got the cash. Hes got a condo. Hes got a car. Hes got a career. But that still doesnt mean he gets you. Time to shine. Orbit. vo have to happen . Idnt i didnt see it. vo what if we could go back . What if our car. Could stop itself . In iihs frontend crash prevention testing, nobody beats the subaru impreza. Not toyota. Not honda. Not ford. The allnew subaru impreza. More than a car, its a subaru. Its a very simple procedure, mr. Diaz. Were just going to make one small incision here, then were gonna go in and remove your 67 corvette. My vette . Its just a gall bladder you dont have. Aflac paying you cash, so you might have to sell that sweet little muscle machine just to cover your rent. More funny juice. But my papa gave me. That. Car. What do you wish you had . Aflac. Ohh, i love doing that. Health can change, but the life you love doesnt have to. Keep your lifestyle healthy with aflac no more. We dont want anymore keep calm. The price you see is the price you pay, unlike cable. At t internet. Speeds up to 45megs for 30 a month. [crying] ahhhhhhhhhh the price you see is the price you pay, unlike cable. Jimmy hello and welcome back to our 11th annual after the oscars special. Batman is on the way. As are many other luminaries. First lets check in with guillermo on the wall of america at the governors ball happening across look at this, guillermo, you did it i asked you to get us a big star, you got us a big star, Sacha Baron Cohen, hello [ cheers and applause ] hello, america. Jimmy is it true that you were supposed to present, instead ali g. Wound up filling in for you . That is true. That is true. I was very displayed because i was getting ready nature called. I went into the bathroom. Next thing i knew, i had been usurped by ali g. And made a fool of. Jimmy ali g. Presented with olivia, did she know ali g. Was coming out instead of you [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im sorry [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im real sorry. Im not aware. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy sacha, i apologize, theres some idiots in the back. Yeah, theres a lot of complete pardon my french [ bleep ] walking around. Jimmy yeah, there are people jumping around in the back like theyre just trying to get famous. A lot of people are here upset they didnt win tonight. Jimmy you know, this is really a shame that we put so much work into the show and then people just show and up they ruin it like that. Bad losers. Jimmy well, you know sacha, you have a movie the brothers grimsby coming out. Thats right, thats right. March 11th. Jimmy and again, i apologize for whats going on here, very unprofessional. Guillermo, youre the one that should be watching for whats going on. Get the guy behind you out of the shot who is jimmy thank you very much. Dimwit. Jimmy im so sorry. Stay away, please. Jimmy theres no excuse for that. I apologize again. Some people are just gross. But thank you very much. Yeah. Jimmy Sacha Baron Cohen [ cheers and applause ] stay away. Jimmy keep rounding people up, will you, guillermo . Stay away next year. Jimmy thank you. [ cheers and applause ] it just really pisses me off, thats all. [ laughter ] so back to the movies. This is the reason why were watching television tonight. Oscar night is a night to celebrate great films. If youre at all familiar with the movie the producers you know it is one of the best comedies ever. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the producers is a classic, won an oscar for mel brooks, recordbreaking 12 tony awards when mel made it into a Broadway Musical starring nathan lane and matthew broderick. Its been almost 15 years. Since that musical premiered. Now theyre back with a diabolical new scheme to unleash their most spectacular disaster yet. They were a pair of Political Consultants who needed a break. Thats it were finished, through, kaput dont say that, max. Lets face it, bloom, we havent had a Winning Campaign in years. Max, do you realize under the right circumstances it might be possible to make more money from a losing candidate than from a winner . What did you say . First we find a bad candidate, then we raise money like crazy and promise all the donors ambassadorships to italy or sweden or armenia. Then when the public figures out what a nutcase our guy is he drops out of the race and we keep all the dough oh, darling bloom, glorious bloom you bloody genius you max, dont. But wait, wait. This candidate. Hes got to be the worst candidate in history. A real train wreck. Schmuck, putz, goldplated nincompoop. Where would we find a buffoon like that . And now a message from the board room. People have been asking about my desk and the fact that i have so many papers on my desk. Its actually very neat. But if you look around, i mean, theres a lot of stuff. Ive noticed over the years people have a lot going on on their desk. Hand me the phone the phone my desk is a very important part of me yes, yes, yes. Hello, hello, operator . Thats a good thing get me the board room. You know which one. Announcer they had a foolproof plan. Theres a new horse in the race for the white house. His name, donald j. Trump. Can he beat the establishment . Who will support him . Fiscal conservatives . The religious right . Or crazy old semiracist white people . Theyre sure he can win . Oh, mrs. Comisky, donald trump is the very definition of a winner. Just read the pin. Oh. Bless you, mrs. Comisky, bless you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. I keep the checkie, thank you. Thank you, mrs. Comisky. Yes, goodbye, mrs. Comisky. Here we go. Thats a girl. Oh, oh beautiful, beautiful. Were going right out the door. All right, easy now. Easy, we dont have time for that. Easy. All right. Dont worry, its only six flights. Bye bye. Thank god for citizens united. 22 ambassadors to france so far. And 25 million bucks, bloom. I have to tell you, running trump was smart. But your idea about building a wall across the Mexican Border . Brilliant. Not as brilliant as your idea about making the mexicans pay for it. He wont last the week oh, look, max, this is it. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border and i will have mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words. Were in the money were in the money announcer but they picked the wrong fool. Good news for donald trump. The whole world has gone stark raving mad for him like these two looney birds, these numbskulls, even in whack a doodle. You ready for someone who will let our warriors do their job and go kick isis ass . Hes still in the lead, max. How could this happen . Well, i hear hes a proven businessman who knows how to get things done. Yeah, hell stand up to the mexicans. I cant believe this its not possible. Where did we go right . I dont know. Wait a minute. Wait a minute did he question john mccains war heroism . Yes. Did he say we should kick out 11 Million Immigrants . Yes. Did he propose banning all 1 billion muslims from entering the u. S. . Si did he say heidi klum was no longer a 10 . Yes, yes nothing is working, max, nothing. Oh, no no announcer just in time for the election, its a story that starts off funny and then gets really, really depressing. [ cheers and applause ] we needed a chump to put on the stump a frumpy grumpy named donald j. Trump hes building a wall a thousand feet tall dont worry cause the mexicans will pay for it all announcer from the producers of the producers comes a movie that will make America Great again. Nathan lane, matthew broderick, and Cloris Leachman star in youve been trumped maybe he wont be such a bad president. Bing Bing Bong Bong bing Bing Bong Bong. Whoa, what have we done . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a lot to come including we have tonight on the show never before seen footage from batman versus superman. [ cheers and applause ] the after oscars post show. Well be right back with ben affleck [ cheers and applause ] lease a 2017 lincoln mkx for 369 a month. Only at your lincoln dealer. Only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol® you look good, you should wear that jacket home and make love to your wife. Oh. That would be great. [ cheers and applause ] guyoull swear it came from aew frfancy brunch place. Its 100 real. Just like my favorite sport pro wrestling. Um. Yeah, about pro wrestling. Its fake. What . Lies its. All. Lies why didnt you tell me . sorry jack, i thought you knew. Try my new grilled french toast plate with syrup and Hickory Smoked bacon. The newest addition to my brunchfast menu. Hit me with this, youll feel better. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, im jimmy kimmel. Thank you for staying up late for our 11th annual after the oscars special. We are beaming to you live from hollywood mere steps away from the dolby theater, the room where it all happened earlier tonight. We have new shows tomorrow night and all next week. And a lot left to come tonight. Our first guest is a twotime oscar winner, actor, director, producer and screenwriter who next month, slips into a cape to keep watch over gotham city in batman vs. Superman dawn of justice. Stay down if i wanted it youd be dead already [ cheers and applause ] jimmy batman versus superman opens march 25th. Please welcome ben affleck [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. You look you look healthy, you look healthy. Well, you know. You do the superhero movie, you get muscled. Then muscle turns to fat, you know. Jimmy uhhuh, wow. I mean, really. On and off cycle. Jimmy no offense, i dont mean to put you in an uncomfortable position, but you really ballooned up. Thanks. I didnt think it was going to be about body shaming tonight. Jimmy what is going on . Thanks but jimmy have you got a monkey under there, whats happening here . What is going on here . Its moving. No, its not. Jimmy what the hell is going on there . What is this . Hey, why are you touching me . Jimmy im not touching you. Oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very uncool. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy no, no sit i wont have it sit down no clapping [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats i just think its gone on long enough. Jimmy im upset with you more than him about this. I think its maybe time to bury the hatchet here, man. Jimmy you get to decide when its time to bury the hatchet . You know what hes done to me . I think as a mutual friend its time to, you know jimmy this is not about you. This is about well, there is no us, its not about us. Matt, have a seat, sit down. Jimmy no, dont have a seat, thats my seat. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i dont want him to sit. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its not a guest, that is not a guest segment, this is not a guest appearance. This feels amazing [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this is not a guest appearance. Its nice, i feel good about this. Jimmy you might feel good about it, i dont feel good about it. This is the guest chair, thats not, thats a spare chair in case anything happens to this guest. Youre ruining the oscars show. Nobody wants you here. [ audience groaning ] jimmy my own audience has turned on me yes. [ cheers and applause ] and i still feel like dorothy. I do. This is wonderful. Jimmy you know this is illegal what youre doing, right . This is trespassing. This is potentially breaking and entering. You know you could be i could have you arrested right now for this. I didnt know that. If thats true jimmy that is true, and youre an accessory. No, no, no hes an invited guest and you should treat him a little better. Jimmy there was not a plus one on your invitation to be here tonight, was there . Not technically jimmy not technically, no. Thats why i was one shroud jimmy can we not have him in the camera shot, please . Please, yes, slide it over. Yes, there we go. Thats fine. Thats how we can do the segment, thats perfectly fine with me. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy guillermo. Youre supposed to do something, youre supposed to be watching the show and protecting me from this. I was actually nominated for an oscar and i cant get on the oscar show . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. Dicky, please. [ audience groaning ] jimmy and beat him up a little bit too hey, thats too bad. You want to go see his show, you go see his show next time. This is my show wow, thats a real bummer i have to say. Im sorry. Jimmy i know your intentions are good, but i am furious right now. And i was going to do something nice. And i was going to show this picture of you and him when you were at your first oscars. Now im not going to. [ applause ] thank you. Jimmy how old were you in this picture . I am 9 years old there. Jimmy look at that, with your mom. Look how happy you look. I know, this is how i get the reputation somehow. He gets the reputation for being the nice guy. I swear to god. Jimmy right, hes not the nice guy ive been figuratively carrying him for years. [ laughter ] jimmy there you go, finally literally. Thats how he snuck into show business in the first place. True or false, you wrote good will hunting, matt did the typing . [ laughter ] a fine line, know what i mean . Jimmy you remember when you guys won the oscar and you had to go up on stage, do you remember what you said . I have no idea what i said. Jimmy do you have any did you have anything prepared . We were young and naive. We didnt think write a speech . That would be assuming we were going to win, that would be arrogant, we didnt think we were going to win. The whole idea of writing a speech was absurd. Then we do win. Matts like, you go first which i thought was really gracious and generous. Then i realized he was coming up with things to say. I went up and thanked boston eight times in a row. We want to thank boston and boston and jimmy you have to, you cant go back. Exactly. Jimmy i wanted to ask you i get half off Dunkin Donuts now. Jimmy Birthday Party, your son turned 4 yesterday. And his request was . He wanted a superhero Birthday Party. Jimmy right. And so he wanted superheroes there. I was like, what heroes do you want . Hes ticking off heroes. Then he was like, and i want you to do batman, real batman so i was like what do you say . Oh, okay. Jimmy you say yes. Ill do my best. I had to call the studio. Any chance someone has my costume lying around . The cowl and the whole thing . What do you need . You know, just for some personal thing, matter. So they brought the costume. And i had to sign away, you know, this whole guarantee that i wasnt going to use it for evil. Jimmy really . Ruin it or anything. They trust me for the movie but not for a 4yearolds birthday. I signed my life away, i get the costume. The other guys are like the other heroes are all there. They have bits like all worked out, know what i mean . Theyre a little put off. Jimmy oh, really, who were the other heroes . Wonder woman, superman, captain america, iron man. And there was me. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy does your son really think youre batman . Is it blurred . It was so motor fying. At first i thought, its kids. I didnt think of course all their parents are there. I had to put on my outfit for this movie. And put on my scary face. For the 4yearolds and all their folks are there. Know what i mean . Its 11 00 in the morning and theyre kind of like, wow batman jimmy then you have to tell no, he really wanted it. This means a lot to my son dont make me come find you jimmy ben affleck is here. Well be right back with a never before seen clip from batman versus superman so wake up [ cheers and applause ] how do you become americas bestselling brand . You make it detect what they dont. Stop, stop, stop sorry. You make it sense whats coming. Watch, watch, watch mom. Relax im relaxed. You make it for 16year olds. 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Hang on. I call this next one junior year abroad. Um, actually your session is up. It takes two to make a thit outta sight it takes two to make a thing go right it takes two to make it outta sight hit it i wanna rock right now im lil yachty and im down if youre down im not the most lyrical kid known but im known to keep the party goin cause my team the livest brightest and flyest king of the teens, i speak to all ages we in sync while goin thru all phases positivity its what made us famous, well. So much endurance i shoulda ran track song so good, promise ill get a plaque cause it takes two to carry all the big things it takes two to end up with a shiny ring now look what you made me do you and me baby it takes two bringing new moves to the old school 1, 2, 3 get loose now it takes two to make a thing go right it takes two to make it outta sight thats three mac sizes made just for you so no matter where you might be at theres a big mac for that chorus big mac for that shoe game inspired . Views keep getting higher . Ahhhhh chorus theres a big mac for that you got a text back . Oooo. Can you freeze it like that . Chorus big mac for that wait. Theres three big macs for that actually. Lets go juicy, cheesy, iconic big mac. Now in three sizes, but only for a limited time. Im lovin it ba da ba ba ba [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, guillermo. Good job. Thats my top man. We are back with ben affleck. This is our after the oscars special. Thats a great story about the Birthday Party. If tom bradys son if tom brady asked you to play batman at his sons Birthday Party, would you do it . I would miss this show to wash tom bradys car. Is tom available now . Ill do wonder woman. Jimmy so by the way, i saw the movie and its great. You know, for kids and for people who grew up loving comic books to see batman fight superman, it really its unsettling. It challenges everything youve ever believed. I dont want to reveal too much. But i do want to say that i am in the movie. And youre great in it and henry is great in it as superman and i am really, really great in it. And im so excited. This is my first big role in a movie. You were good. Jimmy thank you. In the process of making movies, one of the things that as im a director so i have a perspective jimmy id love to be in your next too. Thank you, well talk. But one of the things that you confront are creative difficult choices. We have one thing thats so, so good. And another thing thats so, so, so good. They cant both be in the movie. Jimmy like you and matt on the show tonight, one of you had to leave. That was a hard choice. Jimmy unfortunate. But i am psyched about it. The filmmakers made a similar choice with your work in the film. They had to make a tough choice. And its just the movie was a hair long. You know. The stuff you did was so good and they were like, you know what . Maybe what happens is hes on screen for too little an amount of time to be this good. The audience is going to be like, where else is he . We cant have him be that good and be in this little part of the movie. So what they did was took that right out. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy this is a joke, right . No. Jimmy they took what out . I dont know what youre saying. The stuff was so awesome, it was too awesome. It was so short and awesome jimmy not my stuff . Like if you look at the sun for a second, aah jimmy not my stuff . Yeah, your stuff. Jimmy so theres no way of seeing it . I brought i knew it would be hard to understand how good you were so i wented you to see in person how awesome you are. So i brought the clip. Jimmy oh, you did . Yes. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we can show it to the audience . They can see it now. Jimmy this is good, more people will see this than that stupid movie. Its a bonus scene from batman versus superman dawn of justice starring me [ cheers and applause ] mr. Wayne. Clark kent. Daily planet. Whats your position on the bat vigilante in gotham . This batman thinks hes above the law. Youre the new guy in town, is that right . You could say that. We do things a little differently in gotham. Do you . I know you. I dont think so. Excuse us. People ever tell you you look like superman . No. Ive never heard that before. Huh. Like i said, mr. Wayne. People in gotham need to learn youre superman [ laughter ] hey, will you take a picture with us. One with me and supe. Ive got to get this on the gram. Thanks. My wifes a big fan. What do they call it when, you know, theres a celebrity that your wife would have sex with . Youre that guy. Okay. Say cheese. Put the phone back up for a second. Youre batman [ laughter ] i got batman and superman over here look, i think you have me confused with somebody else no, look at that hey, [ bleep ] off. Whoa this is awesome. This is a private conversation. Oh, i didnt realize you were having a conversation. Hey, everybody, theyre having a conversation, they dont want any regular people to bother them. Ill just leave you guys alone. Thank you. Anyway. As i was saying i think the people need to learn they cant trust an alien with the power to burn the entire civilization down yeah. Batman and superman. I think theyre having a fight. Is that so . I dont know whats going on. Yo, what up, periscope . This is your boy jim. Im here with batman and superman shut your mouth or ill throw you off this planet. [ bleep ] off. Boys bruce wayne meets clark kent, i love it. I love bringing people together. Superman, batman. Batman . Thats not batman. Hes in a nice suit. Batman wears a flowing cape. No, this is not super superman has perfect vision, whereas this mans in glasses. Yeah, but what . Look. Oh my god. I feel like such an idiot. Of course its him. Yeah, i can see why youd feel that way, took me like two seconds to figure it out. Ive spent my whole life trying to kill a journalist. Im so embarrassed. Carry on. I like your column. Hey, look at this. Batman. Thats batman. Its true. I am batman. Youre not batman. Im lego batman. Nobody cares about lego batman. Ask your kids if they care. Were still vital. Anyway. I came with a warning. Stop or ill stop you. Youll try. Yo, yo, yo, could i get everyones attention, please . First of all, give it up for the deejay whos been chopping it up all night. You know what im saying. I want to welcome our special guests batman and superman in the house, hit it you know this song. Yeah. Take a boy up in this hole watch me crank it watch me roll superman and thank you. Aahhh aaaaahhhhhhhhhh hey, mister, you okay . Youre on mars. Youve got to be kidding me. Oh god. Kimmel. Are we the only ones up here . Yeah. Oh. Oh so what do you do . Besides grow poo potatoes . I mean, not much. But now that youre here i was thinking maybe lets do a talk show. You could host it, ill be your guest. Every night. Oh. Yeah. No, no. Thats im going to pass on that. But thanks. And congratulations on not winning the oscar. Im just going to go over there and die alone. Its good to see you, though. [ cheers and applause ] i bought us a zoo [ cheers and applause ] jimmy there we go. Ben affleck, everybody batman versus superman march 25th. Thank you for bringing that for me. Youre welcome. Its too good. Jimmy well be right back [ cheers and applause ] hidden in every swing, every chip, and every putt, is data that can make the difference between winning and losing. The microsoft cloud helps the pga tour turn countless points of data into insights that transform their business and will enhance the game for players and fans. The microsoft cloud turns information into insight. A film based on a play,ased on a book, even a film based on a real event. But weve never seen a film based on a walmart receipt. Quiet on set. Everybody on their marks. Roll sound. Roll camera. And action. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. Give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh im so proud of you. Well thank you. Free at at discover. Com creditscorecard, even if youre not a customer. You guys ever try one of these bars made over at right twix . Why . Our special cookie is cascaded with caramel and cloaked in chocolate. 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He said humira is for people like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohns disease. In clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. And many achieved remission. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. If youre still just managing your symptoms, talk with your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. Jimmy welcome back to our after the oscars tv spectacular. We are live. I am wearing formal dress. We are right across the street from the dolby theater and we have oscar winner Alicia Vikander, congratulations. How are you doing . Congratulations. America, thank you so much. I wanted to talk to you, i heard you kicked matt out, im so proud of you. Jimmy thank you for saying that. He was very rude to do that, he didnt announce he was coming. He actually snuck in, inside ben afflecks navel, which i thought was a really dirty thing to do on our big night of the year. That just shows who he really is. Im so glad you can see that side. Jimmy this is exciting for you. The oscar is almost your size. It is. Jimmy is it heavier than you thought it would be . Its heavy. Wait. I just need to do that. Jimmy yeah, really. Who did you call after you won . Make any telephone calls . No. Jimmy you havent called anyone . Ive been running, havent called anyone yet. I will. I think sweden is waking up at the moment. Jimmy i see. Hopefully i can reach them on my phone. Jimmy will there be a parade for you when you return home . Im going to just im going to do a parade myself. At least tonight. Im going to kick off my shoes and dance. Jimmy okay, very good. Congratulations, i dont want to keep you. I know youre having a big celebration there. Thank you so much. Jimmy thank you so much, congratulations Alicia Vikander shes swedish. Shes actually from sweden. A lot of people like those candy fish, they say theyre swedish . Not really. So well be right back. We have one last thing for you. [ cheers and applause ] honey nut cheerios gets their delicious taste from honest ingredients. Like real delicious honey and real oats. Okay thats still honey. Huh, there we go. Were back to honey again. Whos directing this . That guy. Figures. Try new very berry cheerios. The taste of real fruit in every bite. So berry good. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i want to thank the academy, id like to thank ben affleck, tracy morgan, nathan lane, matthew broderick, Sacha Baron Cohen, Alicia Vikander. Henry kaville, will arnett, how long was this show . I want to apologize to you for what happened tonight. He shouldnt have been out here. He had no business being on our show. And i just again apologize. Matt damon, youre a real s. O. B. Thank you for watching, good night, everybody [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, break in the case. A beauty queen gone missing. Everybody was a suspect. Nobody was a suspect. Police hitting dead ends until now. Almost 12 years later, a suspect arrested. Once a student at the same school where she worked. What led them to the alleged killer. Plus planet earth ii, the sequel to the hit bbc series taking us inside the drama of life in the wild. Survival and love in the worlds most remote and beautiful places. Using cuttingedge technology and miraculous ingenuity. There was one guy that he had an eagle he had trained to carry cameras. To capture the stunning theater of mother nature. Inside the oscars. Behind the sce