Transcripts For FOXNEWSW Red Eye 20160403

Her favorite care karaoke song is ill stumble for you, joanne nosuchunsky. You cant teach an old dog new trucks, but you can teach a young dog enough tricks to beat this man in a talent show, tom cotter. She worked for nixon, so dont be surprised if to mights show show tonights show is is missing 18 and a half minutes. Kt mcfarland. She has been on stand up in stilettos and drunkily trying to stand in stilettos. Thats like joanne. Thats pretty accurate. Comedian alan brean. Lets start the show. Has ted cruz just lost the every man vote . Last night on jimmy kimmle, my competitor for the title of late night, had his guest ted cruz and he said this about donald trump. If i were in my car and getting ready to reverse and saw donald in the back up camera, i am not confident which peddle i push. Why is he in trouble with main street america . His threatening the life of a fellow republican . No, that has a rich tradition in american politics. It was this. Saw donald in the back up camera. The back up camera . What kind of elitist are you, mr. Cruz . Most of us working folks dont use a back up camera. We use a good Old Fashioned rear view mirror or more appropriately, we put our arm up on the seat and turn our working class heads around on our blue collars and look back. Thats the way you do it it. Real americans dont look at the road through a fancy dashboard. Lets look at what a classic rock concert would look like in ted cruzs america. But it was long ago and it was far away oh god it seems so very far and life is gas sphoat and life is just a highway and my soul is just a car and i just look in the back up camera back up camera yeah meat loaf. Thats the way to do it. It is a rear view mirror, right, tom . What kind ofy of elitist is he . You have to be ahead of someone. He couldnt do that. But like every other muslim cabdriver in this country he wants to back over him. He is doing well. He is ahead of him in wisconsin and they are looking to this, this may be the corner for ted cruz. Donald trump has had a rough couple weeks. Do you agree . If he wanted to appeal to the populous he should have talked about running over somebody we can all agree on like Justin Bieber or somebody like that. We can all get aboard. He is a fellow canadian so cruz would never. Thats right. Joanne, do you think it was wise for ted cruz i mean coming off donald trump with his continue vrs sees and donald trump rallies being violent to advocate murder . I it is awful. America should be ashamed that they are pushing this man forward. He was trying to be funny. He is not the bees at. Most politicians arent on these late night sort of shows. It was a lengthy interview. They were talking about substantive issues and that is pretty good. Imagine if trump said the same thing and it was about cruz. I dont know which peddle i would push. People would flip out. And cruzs camp would go nuts. The fact that cruz gets away with this is a little weird. What do you think, kt . I think it is adorable. Oh come on. Do you like his i like his his [laughing]. I love it, secrets. Lets do it. Ted cruzs older daughter has a crush on my grandson. They are liken gauged. They are they are like engaged. They are in first grade. The cruzs are really fun. They are both really fun intoe and witty and i think it was terrific that you saw that little sign of that side of him you dont see. Oocially you see the substantive geeky guy. Do you want to be related to the cruzs . Do you want them to meld . Well they are a little young. They are only seven. Well, you can arrange them. Your boys probably have little crushes dont they . They do. Big crushes. Big crushes, little kids. They start to early. Cruz would get away with it in a court of law. He could say he saw done National Trumps head he saw donald trump ease a head and thought it was a cone. Moving on. Not all muslims think Donald Trumps proposed muslim ban is a bad idea. Here is trump on wednesday. I have been what you are doing is is a great thing and not a bad thing. Believe it or not i have a lot of friends that are muslim. In most cases they are rich muslim. You will have exception. There will be exceptions. Trump said is he would consider letting in muslim athletes competing in the u. S. Muslim foreign leaders and muslims who have bought his make America Great hat. The fine print says admit one into the u. S. With purchase. Meanwhile trumps rallies seem to be more serene lately. Lets look at one in wisconsin yesterday. I have such a spot in my hart for this country. The people are so amazing. We have crowds like this. This is a pretty big one. In alabama we have 35,000 people. In oklahoma no matter where we go we have these massive crowds. By the way, are we winning or what . Look at the numbers. You know, it is really amazing. It is really to me amazing. We have won now i think 21 states, 21, and we have won in massive, massive land slides. Okay, that actually happened. It was at a base ballgame and not at a trump rally. We did a little hocus pocus there. First of all, kt, do you envy the dog . Nice hair do. He is wonderful. I like donald trump, and especially when he talks about Foreign Policy stuff which i know well, he is really good. He just says it in different ways. When he talks about the muslims and friends of his who are concerned about it, in fact thats quite true. In the muslim world, for example, the president of egypt has come out to say we are concerned the radicals of our religion have screwed it up for everybody else. They have made the world angry at 1. 6 billion people. We have to get a handle on it. It is similar to what trump said, but different words. He did mention that his friends are not from the sunni or shiite. He said that before. He has muslim friends who called him and said, yes, we need to put a ban on muslims entering the country. No one believed him. We had to have the rich. As soon as he said rich muslims we are like, now i believe you. All of you rich people just hang out. It is true. You hang around in those serk kills and there are in those circles and there are rich muslims. The bin ladens are rich muslims so it does president keep the bad guys it doesnt keep the bad guys out jie. He is not friends with that family. No. It is usually true and people poe lit size it that there are different rules for the rich than the rest of us. He says i ban all muslims. The rich people can get in and the athletes and famous people can still get in, and thats true. He doesnt say things well, but he says things as they are, and people like that. I dont know if i want to advocate for that, but why not . He is essentially saying he wants to put an end to a certain amount of immigration because he thinks there are bad guys getting through. He says famous people, rich people legal people. Remember he is married. His wife is is an immigrant, a legal immigrant. Speaking of, kt, did you read his talks with the Editorial Board of the New York Times and they are actually quite you know, it is not just the old bluster of trump. He jumps around with nato and ukraine and putin in the middle east. It is actually there is a lot of real brilliance there. Tom, what do you think. You slandered him with the orange comment. He says believe it or not i have a lot of muslim friends and i choose not. I dont believe. He has always been for profit, but not prophet. He wont even let syrian bread into his body let alone coming into this country. The rich people, i dont buy it. I think he is trying to backpedal on the pissing off of the muslims. I like syrian bread. So do i. Earlier i joked that trumps rallies are more serene. Actually, i dont think they have nor do we want them to. Here is video of a protestor interruptiing a trump rally in wisconsin. Come out here and wait in line and there is nothing. You got it in your head, man. I am smoking pot, lady smoking the green do you think i am on drug because i hate this [bleep]. You you fat [bleep]. I just gave you what you wanted. I gave you what you wanted. It is a circus, look look at the monkey look at the monkey i did that on purpose. It is all a [bleep] show here. He did it on purpose . He may be a trump supporter, kt . What do you think . I love madison, wisconsin in 1960 is 9. It is the same thing. It is what happens in wisconsin in the spring. Cabin fever. He nailed the back flip, dont you think . He stuck it. Well, maybe. No, he stuck his forehead into the cement. He probably has a concussion to go along with the pot damage. He wont know. He wont remember it. I want that mans confidence. I dont think he has ever done a back flip before. You know what, this is the right time. You have to try it some time, right . No fear. In other trump news, on thursday trump met with rnc chairman reintz . Reintz . He tweeted just had a nice meeting with reintz and the gop and we will bring the party together. And it will happen. Here is individual yoy from their meeting. You dirty boy. Donald, i thought you were a gentleman. You see, he can get along with people, right . Joanne, what is wrong with these rules . What are we talking about . We just saw footage of the meeting that happened. We are talking about whether trump, can he smooth things over with the gop . I think i think so. He is obviously a changed man from the clip we just saw. I think with a little negotiating he is a man who likes to negotiate. If he is is chatting, you know, with, you know, reintz. He called the meeting and said it went well. Reintz has to work with trump if he gets the nomination out right, correct . I was at that same building last week and spoke to the conservative caucus. What i said to them they said we are not sure about trump. He is not conservative. I said are you nuts . He is about to bring in new people into a dying Republican Party. If you say to him and you turn those people away, not the guy doing the back flip, but the guy yelling at the guy doing the back flip, you are nuts. That was the conversation. To say i am bringing new people into the Republican Party and it is new blood and we will be able to win again i think previs from that tweet would indicate that reintz was receptive. Willing to listen. A Restaurant Owner is getting slack for putting up a controversial sign outlining rules for dining there. Lets see if it is that offensive. Rule one, dis is not burger king. Great start. I dont know how many times i have gone into a restaurant and thought is this burger king and only to be let down. Two, customers sometimes right. Exsption, women eke exception, women always right. Smiley face, lol. Okay, this restaurant respects women. I like that. Lets move to number six. No clothes, no service, no exception. Women no clothes and more service. He does respect women. Numero8, due to increase for amo, do not expect a warning shot for those who want to act a fool. Look, i dont act a fool, mister, i be a fool and i will be there. The sign also notes, extra cost, extra. Free is a french word. We speak english. The owner signs it as da one who runs the mf, mohamed. Peace be upon him, i should say. Alley, i like this guy. He will make America Great again. I dont think free is a french word. I dont agree with that. They speak english there. And they have graw grammatical errors. Was it offensive . He wants to run his own establishment. The people most offended, this man is a muslim, is other muslims. Does that surprise you . Isnt that what mr. Trump just said . Most muslims are offended by the fact that some are crazy . Tom, would you go to this place . Is it a cheese establishment . It is for high people. When it is called muncheez it is for high people. Oh, i didnt get it. Oh i just got it too. I think he is a genius. He talks about having guns and ammo and talks about ammo and talks about pot basically. It is never gonna get robbed. It is under 24hour surveillance by the fbi, cia, atf and the dea. That place is safe and sound. I think this guy is okay. Oh yeah. He really is. As soon as he heard that people from the local mosque was upset and thought it was offensive, oh i didnt realize. I may change it up a little bit. He got rid of the name and said if people think parts are offensive i may change it. He seems willing to please the people, so why not . The interesting thing is he covered only his name. It was mohamed and muslims were upset at seeing mohamed on a sign used to advertise da munch. I thought it was a little odd. I want to google earth to figure out where it is at and it is in very rural virginia, south of retch moneyed. I was surprised there was a mosque there and a large muslim population. You go to the heartland of america and the old Truck Driving guys, i think they get along fine with muslimss. I have been driving around the country when tour expug pull off the road and you are ology always pulling into a shop or something run by middle eastern guys and muslims et cetera. People get along just fine in most of the country. Ending on a positive note. Coming up, will Chris Christie apologize for the way he eats m ms . Short answer, no. Longer answer after the break. Eye. Chris christie is coming clean about the unconventional way he eats m ms. Last week at a basketball game he was caught on camera pouring a bag of m ms into a box of m ms. The picture caused a stir on social media. On wednesday christie finally explained what he was doing on the boomer and carton radio show. There is a bag inside the box you dope. Why would you go bag to box . Just eat them out of the bag . Because it is easier to hold the box than the bag. You get the bach and open the box and there is a bag in the box. Why they do it that way i have no idea. When you open up the bag, you pour the bag into the box so it is easier to hold. Makes sense to me, governor. Important issues there. Things got heated when they asked since m ms dont melt why doesnt he hold them in his hands . You want to have the conversation, i am happy to have it, buddy. Until that time, sit down and shut up. Anytime you like, buddy of the. I mean some people are concerned and they were concerned for years. They do melt in your hans. They do and he found the most efficient way to eat them when you have a fat guy telling you how to eat you pay attention. There is a right way to do it. Chris christie knows he knows how to eat m ms. It is like he really studied it. He knows how to do it. Busted. Kt, if Ronald Reagan poured his m ms from a they were jelly beans. Oh, i thought they were m ms. No, jelly beans. You do know everything. If you think Chris Christie is dumping the m ms and not the jelly beans. He would not be talking about the bag and the box. He would be talking about president ial issues. They asked about the m ms. He answered. He talks tough and will answer any question you ask him. He is very forth coming and he puts fudge into an iv right into his vein. I think thats an efficient way to enjoy that. You mentioned that ray again liked jelly beans and he likes m ms. If you have a pretzel you choke like bush did. He was alone eating a pretzel. He can also just chew. Sometimes you get excited. Dont eat pretzels alone. I have so many issues with this. With Chris Christie . Yes. How is a bag hard to hold . I will never understand that. He said the box is is easier to hold. What is so hard with the bag . If you are a politician you dont want to be left holding the bag. You know there are cameras everywhere. Do it in the bathroom. Handle your chocolate in the bathroom. M ms are like the most marked up snack to get at any event. It is also the easiest snack to smuggle in on your own. Why are you buying them there in the weird boxes with the bags . Bring your own tupperware. Something tells me governor christie does president want to be doesnt want to be caught smuggling in m and m ease a. He is not sharing with his neighbors. We know now what christie was thinking about during the famous donald trump press conference. Look. That hasnt to the who dumps m ms in chocolate can you guess who covers them in candy so there is no chocolate mess the m ms man i dont know if we would be doing this if Chris Christie was running for president. We laid off the food jokes when he was running for president. Unless he did this anyway. Who eats plain and not peanut anyway . I think there are people with allergies, but i agree. Have you had the almonds . It is the best. It is a great product and i dont want to slander them. The it doesnt melt in your hand, it has always been a lie. How does Chris Christie eat a reeces cup . We are kidding. Half time with andy levy is next. Hey, need fast heartburn relief . Try cool mint zantac. It releases a cooling sensation in your mouth and throat. Zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. Nexium can take 24 hours. Try cool mint zantac. No pill relieves heartburn faster. Time to find out what we got wrong and what we missed from andy levy at the red eye news desk. I dont think we did anything wrong tonight. Well see. You might not have. No, i have six pages. It is big font though. Cruz talks about backing his car into trump. You say cruz lost main street america because he said back up camera and not rear view mirror. Who could forget the lyric born to run, scream down the boulevard and back up cameras and the boys try to look so hard . Doesnt get more main street than that. The girls stand behind the car to do their hair. Ally, if cruz wanted to unite america he should have run over someone like Justin Bieber. I dare you to tweet that. I will. I will take all of the hate and tweet it. It has to be with his twitter name. Done. And dont put our twitter handle. Joanne, cruz was trying to be funny which most politicians arent. I agree thats true. I do think if i were in my car and getting ready to reverse and saw donald in the back up camera, i am not confident which peddle i would push is a good line. So it is. Maybe it is just like the delivery, like knowing your audience. I thought he pulled it off. Kt, you said cruzs oldest daughter has a crush on your grandson . Yes. Im sure you didnt embarrass them. They are sound asleep. You said cruz could get away with becoming over trump because he saw trump head and it is an orange cone. You are not supposed to run over orange cones. Do you even have a drivers license . His rich muslim friends support the ban. You showed the dog at the trump rally . I would say from that video the way the dog was Drinking Water i would have thought more of a rubio supporter. Wow. Well played. Kt, did you say trump is good at Foreign Policy . He is pretty smart at it. He says it in wayses that are not the traditional way. If you want me to elaborate, i will. For example he said i want the strongest, toughest military that nobody picks a fight. Have the Strongest Military and nobody picks a fight with you. You dont start a fight so you dont go to war. Walk softly and carry a big stick. Would you like more information . Is that a quote years from now . We are quoting this is past president s and will that be his quote . Make America Great . For sure. I dont know. The quotableness is not quite the same. Hell get them. Sound bytes. He has plenty of time for quotes. Did you say trumps talks with the Washington Post were quite intellectual . I am sure i miss heard that. Did you did you read them . I am on earth too now, arent i some thats the only explanation for this. Wouldnt you agree that there were more details he had more he had more he articulated more plans he sounded like a bafoon. He spoke in nontrough nontraditional wayses. With subjects and nouns and verbs. Thats sthapy of snappy of you, andy. He is is an idiot and i am sick of talking to him and i wish he would go away. Ally, you say what trump says is true and there are different rules for the rich and the rest of us. But isnt he supposed to be looking out for the little guy sph. The truth comes out despite what he wants to say. Thats what people like. He doesnt say things well, but he says things that are true. He doesnt sound de briefed ever, at all. If he contridicts himself, he contridicts himself. There was just an article and the very things in his speech that drive you crazy, thats what make people like him so much. They understand it as plain. Eke september it except it is not. If you dont think a Trump Presidency would consist of a lot of favors and dispensations, you are certifiable and should be locked away for the safety of the country. Time will tell. Thats a balanced way of thinking about it. I dont pretend to be balanced. I am fair and not balanced. In that clip the man in drag was rudy guiliani. The Restaurant Owners sign. Ally, you are correct. Free is not a french word. It comes from old english and german. Thank you. By the way, mun cheese and i didnt get it either. They have a 4star average and wings, burgers, pizzas and mediterranean stuff like caw bob. Wonderful. I dont think any of us got it because you have to be stoned to get it. Maybe. You see, i dont really eat cheese. I thought it was a play on a name of a cheese or Something Like that. Chris christie defends his eating habits. I thought it was interesting you picked a story that poked fun at his eating habits including some of the weird ones of your own. I am not a big snacker, andy. I was doing my daily sweep of the security footage and i came across this. Can we roll that . Oh my gosh. That was a birthday party, andy. You were siting in a Conference Room by yourself on the 18th floor. Thats how i party. He was conditioning his hair. Once a year. And i am the one that smokes pot, by the way. By the way, bag in the box, was that an snl short . Yeah, bag in the box. Different. You said the president was alone when he choked on a pretzel. In fact, his two dogs were with him. He said he only lost consciousness for a few seconds because the dogs were in the same position as they were when he lost consciousness. He remembered the dog position. He did. Ally you asked who eats plain m ms and not peanut ones. Probably people with peanut allergies and me. I like them both. Fair and balanced. Instead of shrugging off the scandal of being an adult, governor or a man with selfrespect he called into a new jersey radio show. He could have chosen not to respond, but the thing that they are allowed to mock you and if you respond you are the jerk, i dont get that. I dont get it either. If we mock you, i hope you respond. Exactly. Lastly, the director of internal affairs from Mars Chocolate North America said they use a variety of packaging techniques to ensure quality and freshness. He obviously talks in plain english. He does. I am done. Thank you, andy. It is time to take a break. Sexist tweets from the government when we come back. [plumber] i need to be where the pipes are. So i use quickbooks and run my entire business from the cloud. I keep an eye on sales and expenses from anywhere. Even down here in the dark i can still see were having a great month. And celebrate accordingly. I run on quickbooks. Thats how i own it. The state department has apologized for posting a puzzling tweet. One of their accounts has been tweeting visitor American Students heading overseas like , if someone asks you to take a package overseas, dont do it. Foreign jail is not where you want to spend spring break. Spring breaking badly. On tuesday they said not a 10 in the u. S. . Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured into buying expensive drink or worse. Being robbed, spring breaking badly. The tweet wasnt received well. Twitter user fat bot said you are saying i am not a 10 . Even my own government thinks i am ugly. Cries. Poor fat bot. The state department deleted the tweet and said some were offended by our earlier tweet and it came off negatively. Ally, they want to make a joke. If you have a worsens of humor than the state department you need to rethink your life. As fox news number four, i would like to think in uzbekistan i could be a 10. You are not a ks to 4. Are you not a fox 4. Kt, should the Government Agencies try to lighten it up at all . They are trying to get peoples attention. The state department has been hacked a lot. Maybe not. But the other thing is the person who wrote that was called a kahn seller officer. Counselor officer. He was probably really angry. He is sitting in the basement of the state department. I think a lot of that was a little sour grapes. A little passive aggressive tweet. Spring break, do people go to europe on spring break. Rich kids. This tweet said if you are not a 10 here you are not a 10 over there. Beware of people luring you into buying expensive drinks. Does it make sense . No because over there it is the metric system so i dont know what the 10 is. And secondly i confess i am fat bought fat bot. These are spring break morons. They eat at mun cheese. Some of the women over there have huge adams apples so watch that. And tell them that you are canadian so you dont become a victim and get harassed of the the harassed. Now i get it. It went right by me. Now i understand the tweet. They were talking to guy. They were not talking to women who were thinking they were a 10. They were talking to guys and essentially saying dont get lured by not so hot women. Yeah because that happens on spring break. Women are on the prowl for insecure men who are worried they wont get laid . I dont understand. Thats not even a movie plot. I disagree because beauty changes all over the world. People who could be a 7 could be a 10 in another country. If they want to buy expensive drinks, let them live. Youre right. I think we need liam niesen. We need a guy with a specific set of skills. Well find you. We will close things out with a bedtime story. [vet] two yearly physicals down. Martha and mildred are good to go. Heres your invoice, ladies. A few stops later, and it looks like big ollie is on the mend. It might not seem that glamorous having an old pickup truck for an office. Or filling your days looking down the south end of a heifer, but. I wouldnt have it any other way. Look at that, i had my best month ever. And earned a shiny new office upgrade. I run on quickbooks. Thats how i own it. Next red eye, greg johnson and chris han. And now it is time for. Bread is junk food for ducks. I repeat. Bread is junk food for ducks. A british scientist reported that while millions feed bread to ducks every day, it is actually really not that healthy. Bread doesnt give ducks the nutrients they need making them susceptible to disease. I used to feed the ducks and i didnt really think there was anything bad about doing that. It is actually like junk food for ducks. Junk food for ducks, yes. So what should we feed ducks . We need to feed them all natural food. Thats what a colleague did. They fed them natural foods. They like kale. I recall just trying to ruin everybodys fun. Just think about it from the ducks perspective. The duck is is getting high cholesterol and the duck is getting kind of fat and has to go on high cholesterol medicine and now probably need a little medicine. They are thinking you are not swimming very fast. We need to get in the head of the duck and use the duck perspective. And then there are the ducks walking. Make way for ducklings. Tom, i have been feeding ducks bread for years. Fat ducks are tastier. 1k3 Michelle Obama feeds them kale and thats a lame duck. When i go to whole foods they say put it on my bill, everybody. Joanne, what do you think . I feed the homeless who are hungry. People love feeding the ducks. How about you take the loaf of bread. The millions and give it to hungry people who actually need it. Lets end it on a depressing note. It is a great pageant answer. The judges would score all 10s for that. Kids want the ducks to come closer. You give them bread and you happen to have a bagel in your bag. You just happen to have bagels. You dont have kids. Your pockets are filled with bread item. Thats junk food for adults. Why do people complain about that . We are supposed to be eating white bread. You feed it to the ducks and well take the grains or the kale. We can cut the bread out. Everybody says cut down on the carbs, but let the ducks get fat. They just waddle around. Special thanks to joanne nosuchunsky and tom codder and kt mcfarland and ally. Im tom shillue and ill see let me talk to you about retirement. A 401 k is the most sound way to go. Lets talk asset allocation. Sure. You seem knowledgeable, professional. Im actually a dj. [ dance music plays ] woman [laughs] no way that really is you . If theyre not a cfp pro, you just dont know. Cfp work with the highest standard. You wont see these folks they have businesses to run. They have passions to pursue. How do they avoid trips to the post office . Stamps. Com mail letters, ship packages, all the services of the post office right on your computer. Get a 4 week trial, plus 100 in extras including postage and a digital scale. Go to stamps. Com tv and never go to the post office again. Makes a special appearance. Check it out and let us know what you thought of tonights show on twitter. Thanks, everyone. As hot spots arise around the world, our military is powering down. In the army knows that the army is reducing its size. I worry about the capability and capacity to win in a major forces. With new marching orders male cadets pressured by the military to walk around in womens high heels. I found that entire incident just kind of bizarre. Is the new u. S. Military ready to face new threats . Youre sending the message