You may recognize her from the polly rocket play set pocket it ruined a joke. She is currently sitting on a stack of phone books, dana perino, former White House Press secretary and one of my many cohosts on the five. She has more waves than the electromagnetic spectrum, joanne nosuchunsky. And he stole his sweater from a beneton mannequin. It is andy levey. And watch what you say or he play throw you in jail. Next to me, nick searsey. A new season premieres on january twentyth. A block. The lede. Thats the first story. No tat for cats. Andrew, fuddyduddy, cuomo says it is illegal to tattoo your pet. The bill sponsored by Linda Rosenthal says subjecting a pet to tattooing and piercing to satisfy an individuals misguided presented elections predelections should be considered cruelty. If there is a marking made by a vet for medical and identification purposes which is what he has, how convenient. Support grew because if one photo of a tattooed dog. Meanwhile, up north, a canadian philosopher is aiming for animalship. He says animals need to be treated as such. Here is one being productive right now. This new season of homeland is cruel. He is more and more unstable. He is almost like an animal at this point. Dana, i get it. He has more human rights than more americans. Should he become a citizen . You may not believe this, but i actually think that this is silly. The idea of citizenship. But the tattoo thing what about that . Well, i think it is amazing how we have to keep having lawmakers make laws because of peoples barbaric behavior. The guy that has the tattoo on the dog, it says he was asleep and under anesthesia under surgery. And then he gave him the tattoo. In addition there was a woman who was piercing kittens ears to make them look goth and then putting them on the internet. Then we need lawmakers spend time, waste time making laws to prevent this behavior. Crazy. I think it is crazy. I dont know. Nick, you seem angry or perhaps just be fud delled befuddled. I am confused. Does it happen enough that it is a thing . In my neighborhood there are 50,000, 60,000 roving bands of tattooed dogs. Sometimes they surround me and call my name. You would think if somebody was piercing and tattooing dogs they have done other things too and you can catch them on tax evasion or something. What they did to al capone to get around the piercing. Did you ever get jasper a Prince Albert . A what . Never mind. A what . Joanne, do you know what he is talking about . I do. Dana, do yourself favor and after the show do not look that one up. Dont go after that one. Is this basically a logical extension of people trying ton edgy . They realize it is no longer cool to pierce their ears and tattoo, so now they are doing it to their pets. I am so board with this story that i dont know what to say about that. It makes no sense. One of the neat things about being a guest on a show, even though you are board you play along. I watched a couple of justified episodes where i fell the [bleep] to sleep. But i watched the damn thing. You can fastforward. There were parts with you in the hospital bed. Yeah, boring. Skip those. I didnt say a word. That was the problem. You should have been in a coma that allowed you to talk. Like having an out of body experience. I pushed for fantasy sequences where he was dreaming, but no. I push for a lot of things they dont do. It is still better than two broke girls. Joanne, people do treat pets as accessories like paris hilton. Should you be allowed to access rise your pet . Jay totally. Totally. Unless it causes pain. When people get piercings and tattoo, so i hear, it hurts. And these poor animals cant take a shot of tequilla before they go before they get it done. You know what, this brings up another point that i think is even worse. The parents that get their babies ears pierced. I am not saying babies are animals. They are close. But they dont need to get their ears pierced. It is for aesthetic reasons. The baby cant say no, no thanks. They cant talk unless they are very gifted. Thats true. Gifted babies are special. Tattooing babies should be okay. Maybe. Like in case lost, please call this number. If you have like a baby boy you tattoo hahaha on the top of its head and then long after you are dead and he goes bald, thats when he will see it. What about taxydermy for your pet after he dies . It is dead at that point. It wont feel the pain. And then you can still pet it. Thats true. Save us. We should have started with the pet story. If dogs cant have tattoo, how will we know which gang they are in . Thats true. If you see a dog on the street you need to know. Thats true. As far as the citizenship goes, as dana was saying it is bad enough we let women be citizens and now you are talking about pets . It is all a ploy to get more votes. Of course it should be illegal to ink your pet. It is illegal to ink your child. It is the same thing. If you are causing something pain if an adult gets a tattoo, the adult has decided he or she wants that pain. You have to make that decision for yourself. Who gets in trouble, the tattoo artist or the parent . The owner of the dog . It is like a bartender serving underage children or underage children. Underage people alcohol. No, of course not. Lets get out of this story while we can. They are catchin diarrhea from north korea. Attacks on theaters show the comedy did kim jongun. They said pretty soon all the world will see what an awesome movie they will made. We recommend you keep yourself distant from places. If your house is nearby you better leave. The studio is taking it seriously. Seth rogen and franco canceled all interviews. And they are blasting the media. Brad pitt thinks someones conversation whether an email or personal should be private. I think someones conversation weather email or personal should be private. I told you. He went on. We shouldnt be participating in these sites that are disseminating them. They should stop. They wont. We should stop breeding them. We wont it is more of an indictment on us. He has elliott goulds glasses from oceans 11. And before he stopped doing meed you appearances he had this to say. Look at this stolen information. Read it, read it, read it. It doesnt affect you at all. They are not doing anything illegal. They are not traying to fool you as the consumer. They are having private correspondence with yon another. In another interview he thinks north korean citizens would hate the movie. I wonder what a north korean citizen would think of the movie. They are not bad. They are the victims of a horrible situation. Part of me thinks that they themselves would really enjoy the movie. I think those guys actually fixed my computer this morning. Nick, you work in a place called hollywood. What is the mood there . Are people anxious . Are they worried . They dont talk to me. Nobody there speaks to me. Thats true. The thing i find fascinating is how north korean citizens would like his movie. He obviously doesnt know much about how north korea operates. All of the north korean sit cains they hate the movie as much as kim jongun does. Or kim jongun would kill their whole family. They are brainwashed and they are not going to show him a funny movie about their dictator and they whim think it is great they will think it is great. It is like on bough mas america like obamas america. Dana, should they do you think they are actually going to kill people over this . I think this is more of an empty threat. Should the should Sony Pictures treat it like one . We dont know who the hackers are. We can assume. But to make a threat like that makes you think they do not noah lot about america. Are they going to attack every Movie Theater across the entire country . Terrorism works. This is like cyber terrorism. What is interesting about the new wars we are fighting, the geo political wars is that civilians are now fair game. If it is your emails they can target you from the Cyber Security standpoint. There are no more rules of engagement when it comes to fighting a war like this. I dont think the north koreans, i dont think they would find the movie interesting. I think they would see it as so completely bizarre. It is so out of the realm of what they know and what they believe. I would like for them to have total and complete freedom. The amazing thing is south park did this with team america. Hacking abilities hadnt reached that point. That was particularly friendly to kim kim junk u. N. It was kim jongil at the time. An attack on Movie Theaters on Christmas Day is an attack on jews. There you go. My people have to take it very, very seriously. You dont care. You are not going to the movies on Christmas Day. Actually a lot of christians go to the movies on christmas. Dont ruin my joke, dana. I disagree with you on one thing. Saying you will attack the Movie Theater means you dont know america because there are so many Movie Theaters. The point is anyone in any theater across the country has to think about this. If they said we are ging to attack a walmart if they said we are going to attack a walmart everybody says maybe it is my walmart. It is a question of whether you want to play the odds. You cant call yourself the guardians of peace. You have to pick one. Maybe it is a game of semantics. They are saying there is a bomb in every theater. Perhaps there is. You like the move vea itself. Yes. Thats hilarious. You have a look of horror. I just got it. Should they release the movie on demand and be cowardly about this . I hardly go anymore to the movies even. It is like no one is doing me a favor. With this threat we dont know everything. God forbid if something does happen and they didnt stop it from being shown, then thats awful. It does make us look weak. This could by a great moment though. This is progress. This is what everybody wants. Nobody wants to go to the Movie Theater. They want to watch it at home. They will make it cost 30, but offering it on demand, it may be a good action that is righting righting thwarting event. The funny thing is they can make a movie about the planned assassination of a communist dictator and they he will just blow it off . They dont know what a communist dictator is like. There was another one called the a you assasination of george bush and they thought it was hilarious. They thought it was funny. Since we live in a free society, bush is not going to make a big deal about that. But to think a communist dictator with the capability will not be naive. I think this particular leader loves the western culture. I think his feelings were hurt. I want to ask you before you move on. Sure. No, to the you. Not you. Nick. What do you think of the emails . Should the media be covering them . I say no. Andy says of course because he is pro snowden. What do you think . The thing about the emails i mean the thing with scott riew den and ruden 1k3 pascal they were forced to apologize to al sharpton, that is comedy gold. I cant enjoy the comedy because it is not fair. It is not fair and it is a terrible situation, but i am laughing about it. I have to tell you. Same thing happened to me. I made a joke about sexism and i got some grief. Those jokes they were making they were making fun of racist jokes. You know what i mean . They said if you talk to president obama, ask him if he has seen the butler. The joke is you are asking about black movies. Thats what a racist would do. They were mocking that and now they have to apologize for mocking racism. If you make a fake sexist joke and work at fox news you have to apologize. But the lesson is you keep humor out of the workplace. We have sucked all of the wit out of it and we have thrown it out there. It is just to end on a actually an up note. They say as of now there are no Credible Threats from the Movie Theater. Is and it could be a Big Marketing ploy by sony. The hacker could be a disgruntled employee. You think so . Look at the free publicity they have gotten. Publics you make threats about Movie Theaters it eliminates the possibility. People will lose their job. There will be job loss. Not about what was in the emails, but the vulnerability of the emails. Sony was negligent and not protecting the employees. That will be the claim. Every company has to be thinking about this now, i believe. We have all learned something tonight. I think it justifies the sony production. They are already in trouble. I just hope they dont release my salary. I would be really upset. I hear you have a pool. It is heated. You heat it with the blood with liberal tears. Coming up, mood rings, chief novelty jewelry or all knowing devices of the dark lord. We asked a hack coming up. A story about a made up story. And this one does to the involve Rolling Stone. His investments were invented. The latest issue of new York Magazine that is located in the big windy is a story about a High School Student who made 70 million playing the stock market. Mohamed islam, obviously a mormon, was the head of the High School Investment club in manhattan. They decided to write a glowing profile as part of the annual reasons to love new york issue. The only problem . None was true. They published an interview with mohamed where he admitted to making the whole thing up. While new york has left the story, it is now pref physicianed with an apology to readers saying we were duped. Our Fact Checking process was inadequate. We take full responsibility and we should have known better. On tuesday islam posted an apology video. Im sorry by anyone who may have been hurt by the story. Im sorry by the pressure i have caused my family. My dad taught me to be truthful and i cant even express what it is i cant even speak properly. I gave into the pressures more and more. Yes, the reporter was fooled or wanted to believe just like this parrakeet. It is robots and robots paris having their way with each other. Kids will see that. How are you going explain that to a kid . How are you, dana . It has bt it hasnt been a great month for journalists, has it . No. The Rolling Stone one, that was a fake rape story or the rape story that was not really the rape story and that she is they are dealing with that at Rolling Stone. I thought this was more interesting. You have a reporter who falls for the High School Students who made 72 million in the stock market and they dont check. It it actually makes it into the magazine. And then he asked the young man makes the apology video. The apology video should come from the new York Magazine. He is a nice fellow. The guy who interviewed him said he was shaking and he said at least there is that. He knows he it he was wrong. This is something that would show up in a hollywood show or sitcom or Something Like that. No one would get away with it. Not like reality. Eyeironically her name is pressler. Her name has press in it. The first rule is check. Yes. Do i have to comment on every single one of these stories . Yes, you do. When you get your script for justified do you say i am not going to say that. I am not going to say that. I am working without a a net here. And you were looking at my notes. If you dont read your joke i will. Do you have a problem with journalists who dont fact check . I assume they didnt. They have been making things up for a longtime now. It is becoming evident because now people are able to fact check it. It was going on for years. I dont trust anything they say in the media anyway especialliy when i get a bad review. It is true. Joanne, the parents are mad i feel bad for mohamed. He should be punished. You have to learn from your mistakes. This apology just gets me. He says im sorry for anyone i outer h. But no one else is mentioned in the story. It is a ruse with him and his friends. He didnt accuse anyone of anything. This was all just a story he came up with. I wanted to believe, greg. You wanted to believe . Yes. I always want to believe the best of people. And you are becoming more cynical every day. Yoong the hoax may i think the hoax may be fake. Wrap your brain around that. I think it is possible he made 72 million new he doesnt want to pay taxes. Thats good too, but maybe he and his family realize he may be the target of criminals or unscrupulous people if they knew he had that much money so now they are making him say he made it up to protect him. How does a man like you come up with Something Like that, andy . I dont know. Could it be that maybe no, never mind. By the way, they did say that they fact checked this. They said they sent out a fact checker and they were shown a Bank Statement with 72 million in it which first of all, okay. Like you would put 72 million in a bank. You are not checking where the money came from . Maybe his family had 100 million. It doesnt prove anything. Reporters in new york are living in a bubble where they dont understand the rest of america. I made 72 million and they are probably like, well thats not that much. It is really not that much. The thing is about mohamed, he has as aspirations. You can imagine Goldman Sachs sending him a letter saying you have great goals. You have moxy, kid. And also a couple of things about the problem with contemporary media, because they come from colleges where they spend their time on activism, gender politics and every major including electrical engineering, they dont study the basics. This person went to journalism school, but probably talked more about feelings than checking facts. They wanted the story to be so real they blind themselves. It is also the reason you should love new york. That was in a feature of why you should love new york. Because he made 72 million. Because you can tell a reporter anything and he will write about it. Our reporters are dumb. Thats why you should love new york. You know what this reminde of. Npr cereal and i know nobody watches it. It is a popular show about a real murder. It is a pod cast. Yes, a pod cast. You know the person is guilty, but the reporter is doing it and theption he is so nice. You dont know that. She says you dont know. They are now Fact Checking facts that may have been over looked. You listened to it . My roommate does. It is greg and his liberal friends who listens to it. We have to move on. Still havent figured out what we are doing next. We will surprise you with a bunt cake of facts are electric cars bad for the environment or are they the opposite, not bad . Next a word from our sponsor. Tonights sponsor is dr. Salted soda pap. 33 flavors of salt. For all of your salty desires think dr. Salt soda pop. My goodness. A weird story danny just told. Going green aint so clean. A new study from the university of minnesota says all electric cars. All electric cars are worse for the environment than their gas guzzling rivals. The tower comes from a coal plant that accounts for 35 of the power. It will cause 86 more deaths from air pollution than a car running on gasoline. The energy comes from natural gas, wind or water, debts are reduced by at least half. Hybrids and diesel cars are mostly environmentally friendly. The studys author says, quote, if we are using ethanol for environmental benefits and air quality and Climate Change we are going down the wrong path. Well thats scary, dana. Is this making you rethink the all electric car you drive to work . Right. That would be my feet . Yes. Yabadabadoo. It is great for parking in the city. The great thing about this is i like the high degreeds. I like the new the hybrids, the new technology. There is nothing more smug that somebody who drives an electric vehicle and they are so much better than anybody else. If you ask them two followup questions, where does your electricity come from . They say, i dont know. Did you know it comes from a coalfired power plant . Uh. They cant make two and two equal four. The other question to ask, is this your primary vehicle . It never is. They buy the electric car as the second car. It doesnt it doesnt replace an actual gas guzzling vehicle. It is just there in the front to make you feel good. It is not for th environment. It is not for the environment. Have you ever ridden in a tesla . They are great. A friend of mine has one and i say what happens if you go to San Francisco . Well, you can g 180 miles and you have to recharge. Well there are recharging stations and you have to sit there for 45 minutes. It is not practical. You wanted to go with him to San Francisco too. Can this go to San Francisco . The thing is it probably could. I am not going with you. It is actually like 500 miles. I i think that was the basis of the zodiac. Joanne is this why you only date men with gas guzzlers . I date men with drivers. They dont drive their own they dont have a say. I walk everywhere. I think more of the country should or ride bikes. Not only is it better for the environment or so they say, but it helps with the figure. I have been living in new york city for about five years. My car is still at my parents house. I dont have it here. I figure it is in the future. I want to get a gas guzzling range rover. Are you guilty of automobile neglect. That car is suffering if it is not being used. My dad drives it around a. He leaves his sitting in the driveway. But he drives mine. It is like a dom knee affect, a butterfly affect a great and forgotten movie. Is this a victory against annoying elitists or anticoal study . I think it is both actually. Well good are to you. It is a fun thing to talk about because palm who own priuses are generally obnoxious. Tesla is amazing though. It is unbelievable. For me the biggest take away i hope they will give me one now. The biggest take away is ethanol is the biggest scam. In the 700year history of the country it is probably top three along with chem trails and moonlighting. There are people who can use the corn. Thats a serious issue that is going on. Corn is more expensive because of ethanol and it is taking food out of peoples mouths to make people feel good about themselves. Thats wrong about america. You can quote me on that. The dude sorry. The dupe was in the poop. Edit that. People bought ks bos actual bought boxes of actual excrement. They pulled the stunt on the day after thanksgiving because as one of them said, we all really hate black friday. It is just kind of a horrible day. The company took everything off their website. It was described as literal fees cease. They said if you buy the poop expecting it to be Something Else, thats not poop. You are actually buying a available lesson for 6. The dung was done after two hours and sold out. Many were disgusted when the purchase arrived and they are trying to dump the dump on ebay. Nick, if you buy the crap, you deserve the crap. It was a brilliant idea, right . My god, do i have to comment on this one too . A friend of mine had an idea of putting famous peoples urine in vials. I thought of that. Oh that was you . I think we talked about it. Celebrities should sell parts of their body or body fluids. This was specifically urine. I thought of that because of the poop. It made me think of urine and then famous people because im famous. I dont know, im just it is a good idea. What could a bottle of my urine that you wear like a necklace in a vial it would be interesting. Like a bieber vial may be a million dollars. Who knows . The i asks the limit. And then you have small yays. And it would be better than random [bleep]. I feel like people would use that to say it is your baby. They would buy it to then say, oh yes. I am carrying the child of this celebrity, right . Thats something you would do. It happened all the time. Dana, why cant all products be so clearly advertised . I am not sure. What i dont understand is that if it was only 6 and you were duped, why are you trying to sell it on ebay . How much are you going to get for it on ebay . They are not making it anymore. The first thing you do is you sell something, sell out of it and now it is scarce. Now it is diamonds, but it is bull poop. In the rough. It is poop in the rough. Dont ever do that, america. This is obamas america. We will never run out of [bleep]. It is true. Is this a good pouf for the company . I dont care about the company. My libertarianism has limits. They should have to register with the government and they have to let their neighbors know they did this. Everything we do to sexual offenders they shouldnt be allowed to live near schools and i just think we have to treat them as criminals. Wow. Joanne, last word . I do like the fact that while the box was made in china, the poop was made in america. It said it. It was printed on the box. And i am a fan of black friday. If you want to make a purchase , it doesnt matter what it is. If you are contributing to this economy. Amen. This is nothing new. This is basically a stinky version of the pet rock. It is like a pet rock that has been somewhere. And as everybody in the er knows those pet rocks get ready a. They do get around. Every now and then i will fall on one. Coming up, a wedding proposal goes wrong. Not cool if you havent got it yet. It is almost christmas. Buy an autographed copy. Here is what is coming up tomorrow on the independent. Hi there and hello. Tomorrow night i will talk to Geraldo Rivera and bernie will be here to read the viewer hate mail. It is always so much fun. See you 9 00 to midnight tomorrow on fbn. There was a stress, but she said yes. A dutch mans stupid Marriage Proposal left a bunch of people homeless. The unidentified romeo rented a crane, a machine, not the bird to hoist him up to his girlfriends window so he could surprise her with a song and a ring. But the crane tipped over crushing the roof below. And then another crane was brought in to pull out the one that fell. Oh no. The building was named unsafe. The couple is now in paris celebrating their engagement by destroying an orphanage. Thats what they do of the using a crane to promote to promote, is that romantic to you or wrong . I guess it is pretty it is pretty far to declare his love, but thats really stupid. That guy is stupid. It is a stupid story. How did you propose . My wife and i got into a fight that lasted for 36 hours. We ordered a pizza and took a nap. At the end of it i said well it cant get much worse than this . Do you want to get married . Thats so nice. Thats how most marriages last. Wow, this sounds great. What about you, dana . I am cynical about people who do magestic gestures. I dont like the public proposal. I am not for that. I think it is a private thing. It means a lot more to the two people behind closed doors. It can be outdoors, but private. I disagree. It has to be indoors. Any proposal outdoors, even if you are alone is wrong. It has to be in a small, dark room. If you are going to have a public proposal, have a public divorce. A lot of our stories are depressing to you. Here is a lovely couple getting married in paris and here you are next to andy levey. No one ever got me a crane. Thats true. Or i have had people outside my window. These grand gestures make me nervous. Are they trying to make up for Something Else that is lacking in the relationship . This poor girl who said yes she has to watch out for him now. He is never going to do any yardwork or manual labor because she wont let him. He cant climb up on the roof to clean out the gutters because he may die. Thats true. Andy, this will they ever happen to you on either side of the coin. She shouldnt have said yes. Dont marry a home wrecker. And i did have something similar happen to me. I went to bob crane and brought him with me and for some reason shea said no. You had a great video. Were you everren gigged . Were you ever engaged . No. Look up bob crane. I have seen that movie. Jay it is it is a great film. It is his best film by far. American hero. Who directed that . Anybody who grew up in the 70s who watched hogans heros and loved the bob crane show, you know everything about bob crane and you have to see auto mow cuss. You talk about the 70s and joanne is like the 30s to us. You want to see great acting, thats a great movie. Coming up, a talk with nick about stuff. That will be stupid to you. Me . What a dumb topic. You wont hear that from him. Oh yeah, i need to talk about myself. Fox news. Com red eye. Will that be all, sir . Thank you. Ordering chinese food is a very predictable experience. I order b14. I get b14. No surprises. Buying business internet, on the other hand, can be a roller coaster White Knuckle thrill ride. Youre promised one speed. But do you consistently get it . You do with comcast business. And often even more. Its reliable. Just like kung pao fish. Thank you, ping. Reliably fast internet starts at 89. 95 a month. Comcast business. Built for business. Tomorrow on the next red eye mike baker and bonnie mcfarland. E block. Last story. Thats the last story. When he is not busy filming justified or trolling twitter he offers his tall lens to Public Service announce ments. Here is a clip. Hi. I am International Film and television star, but you knew that. If i were if our electric grid is taken out by a terrorist attack or a solar flare, your computer screen expi phone and ipad and televisions all will be gone. Leaving you with no access to hollywood entertainment. The a you built of big stars like me to save planet by driving in our electric cars will come to an end. The average temperature of pools in los angeles could drop below 70 degrees. That is some cold [bleep]. A lovely life you lead. Tell me about that psa. You know, it is just securing the grid. It is an important issue to me and we lose our electric grid and we wont be able to live the way we did in hollywood. If the grid goes down tv audiences could drop like 100 . Then everything we have is gone. How do we prevent it . You know, i am not really sure about that. You knead guns. I know you need guns. It is basically the more you know. You dont need an answer. You raise some awareness. We need a national conversation. Exactly. We are a nation of cowards when it comes to this. Lets talk about the final season of justified. Have you finished . Jay we are in the middle of it right now. We finished shooting in march. Do you know how it ends . I do to a certain degree, but not completely. I dont know everything that happens, but have i a general idea. Because it is the final season it would be bloodier than normal. Yeah, there will be a lot of people getting shot. Unlike other seasons, you know . We are shooting a lot of people. By the way, one of the best murder scenes of all time was people trying to run to whats his face and then fell into the hole with one of the it was a great scene. It was a great scene and he fought for the scene. People thought it will be too ridiculous and it wont work. I thought michael rap paw port was pretty good. People made fun of his accent, but at the end he came together all right. Michael is a great actor. I was always pitching that the end of the show it should be revealed that his character was from another planet because he didnt sound like anybody on earth. It was the strangest action. Do you hang out or avoid each other, the cast . Well, everybody avoids me. We see enough of each other on the set. It is like us here. We cant stand each other. On that note thats it . The show is over. We spent all of the time on the stupid stuff and this is all i get . You are crazy, just like you are on twitter. Why is he even here . It could t from now. Hello, everyone, im dana, along with kimberly, bob, eric, and greg. Its 5 00 in new york city and this is the five. Reaction to the Senate Intel Committees report on the cias enhanced interrogation methods continued last night with fox news scoring two very big interviews, first, rob oneil, the navy s. E. A. L. Who killed osama bin laden, saying the information gathered from enhanced interrogation techniques directly led to the mission that took down the al qaeda leader. Find them in a lie and then