0 >> i prefer not to hear that >> how horrible. thank you, jonathan. >> and thanks for being with us. part of the story. good night from washington. >> i am begging you to start reading. >> my time is more important spent thinking about theories than reading your studies. bill, we are from the same generation, born in the 70s. tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye" did the gi joe with the kung fu >> why is that so funny? grip spawn a generation of >> go to commercial. >> we used to say that when suicidal maniacs? something was bad we would say plus, what did the president think of greg gutfeld's new that's life. book "not cool"? now when something is bad they >> it was painful. say that's stress. it was slow and ultimately i we replaced what we used to think that would be good for our economy. think as part of life as >> and finally, what did the something that is separate president think about his from life. we come part mental liesed it decision to give greg's book a as stress and that is what second try? >> it was the best decision makes it more stressful. that i ever made because i >> i would like to see a little more stress on my kids. love this guy. he has heart. and he cares about people. >> you know the coffee, i bet back in the days "little house he is willing to fight for what he believes in. on the prairie" laura was getting up there with a pot of they don't get -- if they don't get a card? a new jersey kindergarten teacher thinks they need projection from rejection, ie, the most important day of the year. a letter september home to parents explains -- a letter sent home to parents explains if a child chooses to exchange valentine's cards in school he or she should have one for each student. it urged parents to avoid writing any names on the envelopes to, quote, make it easier for the children to pass out the cards themselves. only in obama's america. meanwhile one child couldn't wait to open his valentine gift. >> what happened to your valentine's day treats? you ate that corn already? that's your last piece. no don't eat the roses. >> i didn't know robin williams had a kid. should we can sell valentine's it his all on this long trip. day and black history month to poor kid. i think he is rather tired, boot since you hate love and but i'm relieved he is eating black people? >> wow, what about black and toileting okay. love? >> black love is great. i had no idea you could turn that into a verb. i think every month is black clearly we must discuss in the -- history month and making it >> lightning one month is a way to keep the white devils down. if you are going to do something like this, don't let rooooooouuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnd. lightning round. the kids give cards. that's better than forcing >> that is so creepy. them -- they are both stupid, but it is better than forcing >> bill, you put this on the them to give them to front page of the post and everyone. it is kindergarten. that's where i heard about they are not valentine's it. >> bingo. >> is this an outrage or to be cards. what if parents can't afford expected? 16 cards? >> that's true. >> the teacher is operating >> if you read the story it from a place of privilege and took him eight and a half i don't like. hours to get to the airport. it third, the teacher writes >> really? boys and girls may want to >> yeah. the airport is two hours by exchange cards. train and he hired a car. it took him almost as long to get to the airport as it did hetero-normative much? to get back to new york. this teacher is living in the >> 90s. >> he or she has to go. >> the dog has no idea he is being pampered. >> this is a a simpson's >> the dog knows. episode that aired a week let's call him who he is. ago. bart didn't want to buy it for japanese kanye. and i love him. the bully. he said i refuse to give to i love him and his pop star muss, but we all look alike. the coach pointed out his >> i am guilty -- >> he thought you were bob batting average. dylan. >> i want to talk about the >> you are the entertainment poodle. reporter? you are the entertainment >> i think probably this dog reporter for this station and has better clothes than me, you don't know the difference between me and lawrence more jewelry. fishburn. >> and he didn't let up from if you are spending all of there. that money on an airplane you are decked on ut. >> he is the car black guy and you don't want them to say it morgan freeman is the other is not bringed out enough. credit card black guy. you only hear his voice. >> it is not a juicey sweat >> you are 100% right. pant on the plant. >> anyway. >> do they have those for later in the show, they dogs? >> they do. >> so you say the poodle is addressed the situation. >> i pride myself in the fact japan's northwest. >> that's a good comparison. that unlike a lot of people >> just like the baby we will that do this know -- do know have to kidnap the dog. what i am talking about, but >> whoa, whoa, whoa. in this situation i didn't. >> i don't understand what is i apologize for samuel l going on at there point. jackson and anyone else if you were as wealthy as this offended for a very amateur player would you travel with mistake. your cats? >> we are fortunate enough to put your cats in a jet? have samuel l jackson here to >> the worst part of the story is five people on the plane to accept his apology? fly here. the plane went back to tokyo >> i am not samuel l jackson. empty. no passengers. i am james earl jones. this guy has the biggest i am the totes-magoates guy. carbon footprint in the history of the world. >> we could have filmed that >> was it racist or stupid? plane up with homeless people to send back to japan. >> it was stupid. that's your job. all of those new yorkers, send them over there. rut entertain -- you are the >> japan would be grateful. entertainment reporter and you don't know the difference? >> was that on his own or publicity for the airline? >> some people do think jal >> bottom line is this says quietly paid for it. more about entertainment reporters than race. they are not that bright. >> maybe it is a long flight >> i think it says a lot about and you can't dough the -- race. i live in a racially-charged can't do the small jets. house. i am an ethnic gendered >> is jal japan's jetblue? minority in my own roof. i am trying to learn about i had to learn chinese. this country. you can chat on the web when i ask them to shovel the even if you are dead. show they call themselves a new service has designed a way to reconstruct a person's uncompensated asian labor. personality after they die so >> how many asian kids do you the deceased can, quote, have? >> three jie. three asian communicate with family and kids. friends. that's two more than me. the company says it collects almost everything you create anyway. i don't know what that is during your lifetime and supposed to mean. processes the information >> you have a sitcom. three asian kids and you are using complex art official the dad? come on let's write this. intelligence. and then it generates a let's stop doing this show and virtual you. get some paper. >> people at home would love to watch us work it out. i hope it reflects the skinny how do the credits roll? years. shoveling ice? >> somebody is on the piano. >> i would love to addition will this site be beneficial for a role of your daughter. or harmful? do you think i would be cast? >> i have not confused my >> these guys are not of onerring the catholic church daughters with lucy liu. has not offered. >> good for you. we are always talking to the dead. who wants to be an avatar? >> was this racist or stupid? if you were going to come back, would you want to harass same question i asked sherrod. >> it is stupid. if i was to be a sports an innocent person or prevent reporter , just because i'm your wife from remarying? >> i am doing that now. the hot girl i will -- no, i >> i am alive and i am trying don't know anything about sports. i would assume he does know a to stop her from remarying. bit about entertainment >> i don't see the reporting. >> given the way he looks you advantages. >> i don't understand people are saying. >> i do think he should be getting upset about haunted punished. he should watch "snakes on a house movies. i am always the ghost. it is more like a fun mad cap plane" like a hundred times. little fun thing to do is to scare people. >> i haven't seen that movie. >> denzel is great in it. i would like to be a ghost. >> andy, you think everything i am looking forward to it. is racist? >> joanne, you are dead inside >> yes. which is sad because you are >> i'm sure you think this is so pretty. racist. >> are you sure that question >> oddly no. was not aimed for me? >> no, i have one for you that again, it is an honest, stupid mistake. is worse. sam rueben has been dhog for >> that's not the question i wrote for myself. over dosh dosh doing -- doing this for 20 years. >> joanne you are dead >> who is sam rueben, that inside. dude? >> he obviously knows the it is sad because you are so pretty. are you looking forward to difference between samuel skypeing people who are as dead as you. jackson and lawrence >> i have to learn to skype. i still don't know how to do fishburn. >> a black guy should be able that. >> it is easy. to get that guy and not be >> this would give me qualified as much as that nightmares. it would freak you out. dude. why can't a black man have i like the idea of being that job and be unqualified on immortal and that's why i am tv. oh is that me? >> fair point. an organ donor. my theory is he never saw the >> so your kidneys can live super bowl ad and he heard on. you can't choose the people. i don't want my about the super bowl ad. >> and then he is ignorant. organs going to sherrod. that's dumb. >> when we make mistakes on >> i think i am not really this show it is a producer's dead. i am sleeping. fault and i'm guessing that's leave my organs alone. what happened here. >> we often edit out mistakes like that. >> don't you think it will be >> you made your share of dead white people. embarrassing mistakes. >> absolutely. >> if god gets my e-mails can we show that one? that's the way it will be. >> that part when rueben said i think this is a waste of unlike a lot of people in this money, but sometimes people need a little extra to hold on job i do know what i am to. talking about. even if you go to people's >> so you are throwing everybody else under the bus. like -- go to the cemetery and you see hole grams on there >> he basically said you all with -- holograms on there. suck. >> embarrassing, but we all if it can be a little bigger, make mistakes except for me. why not? >> have you no friends so no were they remiss to call her one -- you have no friends so miss? a person in oregon is suing no one will miss you. >> i will set it so it the catering company bone activates on certain people's april petite because computers computers and freaks them out. it will tell them how i feel co-workers refused to address about them and blame them for jones with gender neutral pro my death. even better before i die i nouns. will leave a digital trail she took offense to little that will make it look as though i suspected it you were lady. trying to kill me and then normal pronouns do not apply sign up for the service and because jones is, quote, not a have it go to policemen friends of mine and then we female or a male. >> what is so funny? will see what is what mr. what is what. >> what if i say i am going to kill you? >> anyway, we don't have ache no one would expect i would p tours of the co-workers say she looks like a woman. say i am going to kill you on tv. jones asked supervisors to >> by saying nobody would offer information to every other employee about very jus believe you if you did it people would know you did it gender identity issues. so nobody would believe you and therefore they will jones is seeking a half believe you. million bucks for pain and >> i could listen to this for humiliation. let's go live to the chief hours. >> i think you have been. legal correspondent. >> i won't do it. time to take a break. as you just heard, i have a new book coming out "not cool." ♪ i may be coming to a city near you in this bus. it is a bigger bus, but this is a model of the bus of the i will be in 31 cities in 11 days. here are some of them. look at it. memorize it. i would love to meet some of >> he has to wipe so bad, but he can't find the beginning of you, all of you. the entire toue the toilet paper. where does the new toilet paper start? go to my website. it is driving me crazy. >> you just rip it. >> barnes and nobel? >> you take the whole roll. >> that is an image. >> good for you. >> only person who can pull that off and not make you vomit. >> i am intrigued. >> tell me more about this special talent you have. joanne, was jones too sensitive or not sensitive enough? >> if you are asking your co-workers to do something like that -- they never have had to do that before one would assume. you need to be sensitive to their being sensitive. >> that's true. >> it is new to them, so you need to sympathize with them in that matter. >> i think that is a good point. it is like all you have to do is play along and people are happy to accommodate. unless they like to make fun of you when they find it is a sensitive spot. >> i mean, come on, how much are you going to do at work? you already have to work at work and now you have to do this? tell them to move the box outside. >> having to sensor yourself would be hard for you. >> that's why you don't have a job that -- in an office. >> live in the box where you call it a reality. i am a robot. i don't curse at all. my wife made cup cakes tonight. >> the robots were the people that make everything you are wearing and they get you back and forth on the subway. they make -- >> i am more interested in the person who created the sweatshirt and then passed it down to the people who created it. he is the creator like me, the artist. >> not like the robots who made money to see you perform? >> don't talk about the robots now. i have the robot army on twitter. >> the comedy clubs are filled with robots. >> i can't call you he, she -- >> i will tell you what i would like to be called, but let's get bill in on this. >> is this a viable lawsuit? >> it is very, very serious. we learned it was the prefix preferred by people who were not married, but they did not want to be called miss. >> the germans got it right. >> they don't blame someone for trying to draw the line. i am pro immigration. as you know we will get a lot of latino immigration. the thing that troubles me is thisy have -- they have more pro nouns. doesn't that worry anyone else? >> is pro noun another word for kids? >> you are awful, sherrod. awful. here is my theory. i think words don't hurt. i don't think you should be able to sue over words. i can understand violence, but i don't think you can sue because your feelings #r hurt. >> i think you are a smelly jerk. >> i don't like that, but i am not going to sue you. >> i am going to hear about this forever. i hope so. a new study from the national greg, this is discrimination science foundation claims that toward nonbinary gendered more and more americans think person and needs to stop. astrology is science, and it is. jones said jones did not want that brings us to this. to be referred to by feminine >> "red eye" debate, 2 014, pronounces. live from the" red eye" debate >> so you do -- it points out center. >> welcome to the "red eye" debate center. i'm your host coming to you live from the "red eye" debate center for tonight's" red eye" we do need a gender debate. pronounce. those who think astrology is not scientific declined from we use they for singular which 62% in 2012 to 55% in 2012. drives me up the wall. that's seven points. what is astrology. here is a helpful "red eye" video. you -- >> astrology is the branch of >> you know what is fun? science concerned with how the universe works. i would like to be called an it is one of the oldest it. being an it is like a higher academic disciplines along with math, chemistry and by evolve of he. >> you are sometimes called a yule gee. word with it in it. new ideas explain the >> starts with sh. fundamental mechanisms of sciences and open avenues of research in other areas. >> i would think you are a we sigh zach newton is called the person. >> it was my favorite magazine philosopher. growing up. astrology comes from the greek word meaning not a fake i -- it disappeared in a fire science. >> that was good. i started. i was a fire bug. joe on, i go to you first -- i don't know. joanne, i go to you first i want to be called it. because are you a woman and we have to move on. they buy into astrology more story. than men. why is that? tore that story to shreds. >> we only do when we agree coming up, a six-part with our hour row scope. investigation beginning and then when we don't gee tomorrow on string. what is it, where does it come with it, that is not real. from and what does it want from us? i was trying to figure out if useful products or a tool of it is a science or isn't. i went to truth magazine.com satan. and are teenagers more because you know it is true. stressed than adults? >> it is in the title. the ones in my basement are. and this guy was talking about just kidding. they are already dead. the gravitational pull of the planets. he said the gravitational pull of the obstetrician is 10 times that of mars. that's science and it is right. >> so it is science? >> no, no, no. the argument against it is science. >> otherwise it is something fun for me to read at the end of the cos mow. >> bill, she made a point that people read it and like it. >> isn't that the trick of astrology? they use generic terms that can be assigned to any person? >> are you such aly bra. 5* libra. >> i was a george bush speech writer, but i give president obama his due. he said he would restore science to the proper place. by this poll we can see he has managed to pull this off. when you look at the economics behind obamacare, is it any less believable? >> exactly. >> that don't sound leak leo talk. that don't sound likely yow talk to me. >> sherrod, do you use astrology to get women to go out with you? >> no, i use roofues! >> i am not drinking my water. >> that's terrible. why would you say that? >> can you hear the laughter? it is mumbo-jumbo. sometimes you read it and you say that's fake. and then somebody said that is me sometimes. >> they did this study where they read the hour scope to people. they said is is that you? well that was a virgo. >> sometimes it is watered down from what it originally was. the asians or the chinese studied astrology for thousands of years. but we ain't getting that book. we apt getting that book that the british broke through. >> we have the cliff notes. if we go back and find the get 36 months interest-free financing and save up to $500 origin, maybe it may have substance to it. on beautyrest and posturepedic. i am dropping knowledge. get a sealy queen set for just $399. >> andy, you read susan miller even get 3 years interest-free financing on tempur-pedic. every day before the show to pump you up. do you think science has but only through presidents' day at sleep train. anything to do with it? >> it is a tool the government uses to fool people and keep them busy so they won't ask questions about chem trails and harp a and what it is they are putting in their water supply. and they are on our road signs that will let the u.n and key ma confiscate our stuff during a national emergency. wake up, greg. this is what astrology is for. i am sick of people saying astrology is a science. >> i think you may have hit on something. but you left out mercury fillings. >> he has a jeff. rising. he has a gemini rising. >> it is fun to do and maybe it is the fun science. maybe it is the fun science. >> we're done. america is done. take it, china. we are done. or lesser? this is unbelievable. according to a new survey teens in the u.s. are more >> chinese people believe in astrology too. stressed than many adults. everybody believes in it 27% reported extreeng -- around the globe. welcome to being human. extreme an. >> tee -- an. we are dummies. >> do you have a comment on >> -- anxiety. the show? e-mail us. the biggest cause of stress go to fox fox news.com/red eye was school, work, family, and if you have video of your pet talk show hosts who follow them around the neighborhood doing something. in a white paneled van. it is specific and accurate. huh...fifteen minutes meanwhile, completely unrelated, a government report found three out of four u.s. children and young adu take in some coffee. we asked a pair of teens what they think. could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. mmmhmmm...everybody knows that. well, did you know that old macdonald was a really bad speller? >> i guess that is useful to someone who is into that sort your word is...cow. of thing. bill, have you three kids. cow. cow. c...o...w... are they teens yet? >> two are teens. one is a tween. ...e...i...e...i...o. >> are they really stressed or [buzzer] worse at coping at it? dangnabbit. >> in their natural state and geico. fifteen minutes could save you...well, you know. habitat, teens are the least stressed people. you find them lounging on sofas and watching tv. you find them sleeping amid rooms that are completely destroyed and so forth. they are eating food with no thought of cleaning up the kitchen. in their natural state teens worry about nothing. it is the parents who say you have to clean your room or get an a on your report card that enduces the stress. in their natural state the teens accept the world as it is and the parents will feed them and take care of them and school them and clothe them. >> i don't like them, teens. >> they can be unpleasant. >> sounds like a dead set up. >> should teens be more stressed? >> i mean, yes. if they are, who cares? you are a teen. you are young, just make sure you wear a condom. >> wow, that's useful information. >> for a teenager, yes, they should bewaring con -- be wearing condoms. >> no, not having sex. >> it is that kind of advice that basically shortchanges real advice. the thing is everybody goes oh wear a condom and leaves 99% of the other useful get 36 months interest-free financing, information about the world. i just said the most important and save up to $500 on beautyrest and posturepedic. thing, wear a condom jie. what get a sealy queen set for just $399. are you mike brady from "the brady bunch"? even get 3 years interest-free financing on tempur-pedic. stove with your life lessons. plus, free delivery, set-up, and removal of your old set. he always stopped and they play the music and it is like, keep more presidents in your wallet. listen, greg, you need to -- this special financing offer ends presidents' day dash blah, blah, blah, at sleep train. marcia. superior service, best selection, they know what i'm talking lowest price, guaranteed. about. kids are more stressed because they have more social media ♪ sleep train ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪ and they are worried about dumb stuff. it ain't real stress. it is not like bills and not having to kill somebody. >> you are stressed by killing small animals that wandered into your backyard. does stress trigger the loss? >> i am heavily medicated. >> it is all about perspective. when you are young you haven't seen the world and you don't have major responsibilities these things stress you out and give you anxiety. then you say why the heck was i stressing over that? >> i don't know how we solve it or help it. >> my older sisters used to sit on my chest and hold my hands like this and blow into my nose. they put their mouth here and blow. everything on your body inflates. >> and now you have to pay for that. >> it is a different kind of stress. >> i am kind of stressed out now. >> you know what, you just created secondhand stress. >> silent killer. >> andy, have i a theory. >> you always do. >> the study that shows an increase of drinking of coffee. when i was 15 we didn't drink coffee. there was no starbucks. i didn't have my first cup until i was 19 or 20. >> last story. there was never a coffee period. that's the last story. these kids are like 14 and 15 and working at coffee shops >> yeah, it is over. and drinking coffee. did you just take a squat they are premature inure rot particulars because of -- gnaw while tweeting your thought? thanks to advancements in rot particulars because of technology media habits have coffee. >> the rate of caffeine drinking among young adults evolved while our bad habits and children hasn't budget -- haven't. americans are consuming 60 hours of media per week. budged in a decade. >> that's only 2000, 2002. using different devices in various places with 40% of >> it hasn't gone up. adults 18 to 24 using social this is a nonstory. media in the bathroom. the other 60% just hold it. a lot of teenagers reported i have written all of my books stress in the school year. in bathrooms. it is there i give a [bleep]. they are stressed because of school. that's it. kind of obvious when you think about it. is this disgusting or progressive? >> i am a man living with four women in my house. this is the only place i have private. >> it is true. >> it is the whole reason for the mobile revolution. >> exactly. sherrod, how many phones have you dropped in the toilet? >> usually other peoples because i don't like who they are texting. if you have a woman in the house with you you have to find somewhere. nothing is yours. this is my drawer. don't go into the drawer. well she goes into the drawer. >> it is because you told us not to go in the drawer. >> you use those drawers and my drawer. >> they pick locks. >> what a rookie move. >> what are you talking about? >> is bathroom lighting the best? >> i think it does speak to the younger generation ages 18 to 24 i am 25 though. >> i also like sexting which is popular. it is that culture that brings media to the bathroom. >> which is sad. i don't take selfies. i take elfies. >> let us do those jokes. >> i figured you wouldn't come up with elfie. andy, last word to you. your guilty pleasure is watching "downton abbey" and soaking in a bubble bath. do you prefer tablet or lap to the for this behavior? >> i used to use a lab top and now a water proof case for my ipad. >> do you really? >> no, ut but they do exist. i saw one that looked like a pouch in the curtain. >> really? >> absolutely. you 40% of people say they use smartphones in the bathroom and 60% are lying. everybody uses a smartphone in the bathroom. >> the phones are filthy. black light your phone and you will never put it to your face again. it looks like bob costas' pillow. >> there are all sorts of things living in there like your computer keyboard. it is bad. >> how is it any different than going home and letting your dog slobber all over you? you don't know where he has been. >> i let my dog lick the keyboard. lick it all off. >> they are both like pulling spring water. i think we are done. joanne, sherrod, andy levy, bill , that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld. see you next ti
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