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>> go away. let's welcome our guest. she is so -- intoxicating it is advised you do not drive after seeing her. i am here with network reporter sandra smith. and when he is not making people laugh the world over he is grinding them up in his sub basement. it is tom shaw lieu, the host of funny story that airs on tuesday on sirius-xm radio. and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if brains were sand he would be the mojave desert. i said please welcome like we have an audience. yea! and his progressive hacking is best used for packing. good to see you pinch. >> today jonathon schulz writes of the convertible, quote,. ♪ there ain't no load i can't tow ♪ ♪ i will be there when the light comes in ♪ tell them we are survivors ♪ ♪ life is a highway ♪ i want to ride it all nightlong ♪ fresh, original and unsampled. >> fantastic. >> it was fantastic. he won by a lot, but does that change the plot? they are calling it the santorum sweep which sounds like a dance i learned in mexico. tuesday night santorum captured minnesota, missouri and colorado, three states. but his res resurrection in the midsection awarded him no delegates. the contests were nonbinding straw polls that draw turnouts. nonetheless, it was great night for rick. in minnesota romney didn't even finish second. ron paul did. completely absent, newt gingrich who placed third in colorado, fourth in minnesota and was eliminated entirely from 24-hour catwalk. great show. so is santorum the new not mitt and do turtles like salad? >> we needed 20 seconds of that. i love turtles and i love salads. bill, welcome to the show. i will call you the greater bill and bill schulz is the lesser bill. big disaster for romney and big achieve meant for rick or a story to manufacture news? >> this is a very inspirational republican contest. we have a lead candidate who gave us a version of obama care before obama. we had before this, the second guy was the guy who accepted money from freddy mac, and now the front runner who lost his seat by 18 points the last time around. that said, it is an achievement by rick santorum. he has moved out and surprised everyone. >> it is a tragic day for newt. but he will be back. don't count him out. he is like a zombie. newt is like a zombie. you can shoot him. you can stab him, and he keeps coming back. do the results just speak to the fickleness of the gop voter? >> when newt comes back, everybody remembers the reason they didn't vote him into office in the first place, right? what you have on the table is everybody in search of the gop. i think what santorum said last night, he is not running as a conservative alternative to mitt romney. she running as a conservative alternative to obama. and that is an important point he made. do i think the wins last night weakened the entire gop field? i am afraid to say yes. i think there is an indecisiveness and uncertainty. we have no real front runner. that's problematic for the gop right now. >> i want to fact check you, but what we have on the table is a talking newspaper. >> give it to me. >> and talking points. >> there were no actual delegates awarded in tuesday's voting. so does this matter much, or should we ignore that fact? >> i think we should ignore the fact. i don't understand it. i don't know what it is. i read the wall street journal every day. i don't understand this caucus situation and the fact that it is like a pre caucus. they are not going to award the delegates until later. listen, i said in the last episode and i was barraged with angry tweets. >> by me mainly. >> you advised them to twat me, and they did. >> you advised them to tweet me and they did. >> we have to go back to the smoke-filled room and have the nominees chosen by a bunch of old men in a hotel. we are giving them too much to do and they are getting restless. i like him now. no, i like him now. forget about it. just get the nominee and let's go. >> it is a bit of religious bigotry. 5* smoke-filled room excludes mormons by definition, right? >> i am surprised. they can't smoke. they can have smokiness. >> i don't know about that. it is true. it is not like you hide it. he is a bigot. >> well, you are so white. you must be. >> i will call you the lesser bill. what did you make of this? santorum, can he lay claim to the not newt? >> but in a way aren't we all not newt in our own special way? >> very low turnout. newt wasn't even on the missouri ballot. i just don't get the hoopla. i never use the world -- the word hoopla. it is like that game you invented. but the actual basket is booy low you. you drop -- it is below you. you drop the ball in. >> i never got the copy write. >> i want to play a quick shot of rick santorum discussing something. >> tonight we had an opportunity to see what a campaign looks like. one candidate isn't out spent 5 to 10 to one by negative ads imputing their integrity and distorting their record. >> basically he is talking about, you are not going to have the fundraising advantage against obama. so he is a better candidate than romney. romney out spends and still loses. does that make sense? >> i think he is saying that he ran on the issues and so forth. he is a pretty good spokesman. people describe him as a social conservative. wacky ideas on manufacturing. but he is a pretty all-around conservative. foreign policy. >> you have to cut it shorter. he just talked way too long. he was so strong in the first couple minutes of his victory speech and made such great strong points. we were all listening. and then he lost us. he has to rein it in and become more presidential. >> i would say that except santorum has defied every single public dit. pundit. i just saw ed rawlins and he said everybody predicted he would be out first, including myself. and this is an inverse thing. all of the people surviving are people like newt. newt they said cannot be discredited. you can throw an ex-wife at him. you can throw excolleagues at him and he can't be discredited. >> he is not like teflon. >> she like a gelatenous cube. >> ask somebody who only eds reads the first paragraph of every story before he does something else. what is the wacky idea? >> i think he is looking to favor one sector of the economy over the other. look, we see this president obama and green technology. everybody has their favorites. that may play in pennsylvania, and it may be a good political sound bite. it dilutes the message in the way romney dilutes the message by playing the class war by limiting tax cuts. >> have i to say between that and the whole we should only have sex if we are making babies thing that does not sound so wacky to me. >> i don't know why because you don't have sex for that reason or any other reason. >> i have friends that are doing a little better. >> you look at the three states. you have minnesota who went for due caw kiss. dukaukis. is that even a state anymore? the other thing is colorado. the only great export is dana perino. >> medical weed. >> mindy? >> mindy? >> "mork and mindy." >> and i have a huge problem with missouri. i don't know how many cross-word puzzle when's they ask you for the abbreviation i write mi and not mo. >> but how do you say it? is it mississippi? i am -- is it missouri? >> my point is it is wrong. i ruined a lot of the back of the tv guides. >> can we help. missouri's mo is to trick you. there you go. you will never forget it. when it comes to hollywood, does right equal might? do movies like "thor" earn you more? conservative films make more than liberal films. a christian movie organization rated flicks like violence, political correctness, feminism and homosexuality. last year's movies scored high nest conservative values like captain america which we said was liberal. >> for hugo and "money ball" they made $59 million at the box office and those that portrayed the liberal leftist values a mere $11 million. says movie guided for, quote, most moviegoers want good to conquer evil and justice to prevail or injustice. don't i know. it if you want to read the report it will cost uh thousand bucks which will give you -- a thousand bucks. he was on this very show ?ot too long ago. delightful man. for more let's go to two english bulldogs learning to walk. guys? that is like you crawling home from where you passed out. >> convince me that this study makes sense, or is it suspect? >> it makes a little sense. i disagree with the liberal movies. they said there were some exceptions like "the hangover 2" which is not a hangover movie. i would say that is is a conservative movie. >> that's a good point. they are co-opting, partyism. >> they are the same thing. >> this makes sense overall because it is true that in hollywood -- they always say -- i have heard it quoted so many times that hollywood is not red or blue. it is green. that's what matters in hollywood. that is not true. they don't want to make money. if they did, they would keep remaking "the passion of the christ." they want to get as far away from that as they could and it was making billions of dollars. they don't want to make money. they want to be cool. they want to be with the cool crowd which is usually on the left. >> that is an interesting idea. hollywood prides itself on rebellion, but at the end of the day, and yes i use that phrase. it is all about being accepted by their peers. >> exactly. look at comedy. "larry the cable guy" jeff foxworthy, and they are the biggest names and nobody wants anything to do with them. >> a lot of these included children's movies and even super hero movies. >> one of the difficulties, give hollywood some credit. you mentioned "passion of the christ." the pool of arab speakers is diminishing every year. >> and mel gibson did it again. he picks movies you can't follow because of the language. >> it is generally true that g-rated movies do better than r-rated movies. and our parent company has a film and i have been airing gaoing with "gone with the got felled." >> well, conservative, g-rated. >> would i be an animated character? >> frankly my dear, i don't give a hoot. that's the closing line. >> on the internet it means an std. >> unnecessary. why is this a money making business? do you believe it is a money making business? >> let me use a fair comparison. we are in a democratic presidency. we are in rough economic times. yet the fox newschannel is at sky high ratings. while you might think during a republican presidency fox news would be reaching sky high record ratings, that's not the case. we are in a recessionary time. people want to turn on movies that are apple pie and baseball, "money ball. people want to feel good about the past. it is that feel good thing that happens to carl late to conservative feelings. >> i saw "money ball" and i thought it would be a totally different movie. i thought it it was a big ball of movie. bill, the lesser. "he is your super bowl, and we will be hosting the gala event. will you be going? >> i thought "money ball" was about tom green. >> terrible. >> you have to go back to 10 years for that joke. >> the younger viewers won't get it. google. i would say -- how is "thor" conservative because he is white? he has a lot of hair. that's hippie. it is good and evil, bill. -- >> it is good and evil. >> good and evil are relative and it is good versus evil. >> it was more than one god. it was liberal. there is one god. >> kids have a different perspective. you start watching movies you would never see before. i thought bambi was a girl's name. i learned when i watched this g-rated disney movie it is the name of a boy deer. you get a different perspective when you have children. >> but movie guide was saying that this was their out year. here is one that made money, but it is liberal, "twilight." it is all about how it is better if you wait to get married to have sex. it was written by mormons. most christians don't like mormons which when you think about it, is not a christian thing to do. >> here is what i thought interesting. if you tease out the environmental messaging of a lot of the children's movies like "wall-e" most are conservative. i go back to the good versus evil versus the good and evil. it makes me think why are they? can you make a left wing kid's film minus the environmental aspect? you can't. what would you tell them? >> it is very strong. >> once we were waiting for one. for one of the movies and my five-year-old is coming back from school and watching the end of jaws he is trying to shoot the shark and it is like, daddy, why are these men trying to harm mother nature? mother nature is very bad. don't turn your back on mother nature. look what happened to squint. he is being gob -- gobbled up. >> not a good pro shark movie. mother nature is not your real mommy. she doesn't clean up your vomit like mommy does. >> no liberal action heros. sharts sharts, -- matt damon. >> but that is relatively new. >> he is punching people out across europe. >> that's true. he does. >> and real quick editing, he beats the heck out of people and doesn't know how. he does this thing and it is all quit edit. the next thing the guy is down and what ever happened to real choreographed fighting where people fought and i don't know. anyway. what am i talking about? i am making no sense at all. at least michael leer looks nice. -- my collar looks nice. i have a clip board. >> where did you get that? >> i took it from somebody. >> no staples for you. >> coming up, what is it like to be so hot you melt polar ice caps causing the polar bears to drowned? we will ask sandra. and does the bad economy cause men to cheat? who knows? i haven't read the story. they got a hand from uncle sam and many got canned. maker of electronic cars which has more than 60 employees in california and delaware after spending almost $200 million in taxpayer money. the beneficiary of the stimulus had $528 million in the department of loans to complete work on the luxury karma model. karma? how can you trust a car named karma. it will begin work on another affordable auto called "the nina." but they experienced delays in production. karma is being built in a factory in finland which isn't even a real country. how are typical fins reacting to the news? >> do you really want him constructing your automobile? i don't think so. i think he shouldly locked up. the whole country should be. i love finland, actually. they say the government says the problem are typical for start up p cs. should the conversation just end there? orbs, okay. >> we should know what green means. green means the same as smart. nobody wants to buy it except congress. you build it and they won't come. >> i come pleatly disagree with that. i completely disagree with that. we do want to be green. and we eventually do want to have greener cars. i don't think that's the problem. i think we are dealing with an administration that is forcing us to deal with it right now when the economy and the people are not willing to spend the money on it. it is just not working. >> i'm sorry. i think it was just a small disagreement. >> i know dpirl scouts that have sold -- girl scouts that have sold more cookies than volt. the girl scouts are selling them. they are going door-to-door and you can get -- what are the coconut ones? you can get the samoas. if you buy 300 boxes you get a volt. it actually comes in a volt. i will let this joke die. >> i thought it was real. i was tabulating. >> it was a bad idea from the start. i don't know why i went there. shouldn't the tboft beheld accountable for -- shouldn't the government beheld accountable? aren't they poor investments because they don't have to be held accountable? it is our money. >> exactly. if it were -- if we just let the market decide, then these cars will come along in about 50 or 60 years anyway. why do we keep doing it? i say stop, stop right here. no more investment. >> but free market? >> bill, you are huge in finland. >> literally, they are small people. >> who should bail them out? leo dicaprio? >> bail finland out? >> yes. >> they are getting all of the jobs. we want to keep them happy. they are scary people. my only question about this whole thing is why would you name a car "the nina" the last time somebody exported a nina it ended up on the shores and it gave the natives syphillis. >> i have a bigger problem with karma. karma is the name your yoga instructor would give her car. she would have a new bug that she bought, a convertible bug, probably used, and she will go, this is my car, i call it a karma. one more po nie t. could this be a scam? you are the wall street journal mind. firing more people helps the balance sheet. so the company looks better and that allows for more applications for money? >> this is just industrial policy. the former governor of michigan wrote a book saying everything that obama is doing to the nation -- doing in the nation on these things, she has done in michigan before. she is absolutely right on that. look at where michigan is with these plans. >> but it is coming back according to clipt eastwood. clint eastwood. we are about to enter the second half of our show. that's a transition. >> do you have a comment on this? you might want to learn it. e mail us. and to leave a voicemail 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from andy levy. he is past his prime. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by the green growing on clusters and used to make wine. well only comeback. welcome back. let's see if we got anything right so far. now over to andy levy. let's do this. santorum sweeps three states. what the hell is 24-hour catwalk? >> have you never seen 24-hour catwalk? >> i am a guy. >> it is on the lifetime channel. they bring four designers and they have 24 hours to create a look. they are eliminated candidate by candidate. it is hosted by a british girl who is quite attractive. >> there is something seriously wrong with you. >> you should watch it. you would like it. >> i should not watch it and i will not like it. >> when i say bill, i am going with bill mcgurn and with i say bill schulz it means bill schulz. >> i don't follow. >> bill, you noted that santorum lost his last senate race by 18 points. all of these guys like to call themselves outsiders. none are outsiders by choice. >> exactly, and all of the out styeder -- outsiders want to go back. >> are you a santorum guy? >> i like rick. i think i like rick. >> i want to know how he lost five of eight elections so far. >> he is an outsider. >> that's because i live outside. >> that's true. >> sandra, you said that what we've got is everyone in search of the gop. do you think they will find it? >> that's like a serious question. >> i do believe we will find it. i believe we will have a front runner eventually. i believe that person will defeat president obama. >> okay. >> really? >> excellent cheerleading. >> thank you, andy. >> it was like you were just listening to dick morris. >> exactly. tom, you said you don't understand how there were no delegates awarded on tuesday. i don't think you are alone in that. it is like almost obscenely stupid the way it happens. >> there is too much. and now that we have tv and everybody is up on everything it is too much and too long. get everything done in a month. we can do it. >> that said, there was no place in polite society for your anti-mormon bigotry. >> if i told you, tom, there is tomb commercials and you are a commercial actor and wouldn't you be like, wait a second? >> yes, i would. that is my -- that is not a good analogy. >> my job is to report on the silly things. >> it is fine and i come on the show. i think it is fun to talk about it, but for practice tau cal tee, it is like the sausage making, you don't want to see sausage being made. it is as if a sausage company is ready to launch a new sausage and they spend a year showing you the factory. >> are you saying the way we elect a president is more important than you -- than us having something to talk about for a year? i don't want to hear that. >> his reasoning is incorrect. he says nobody wants to see how sausage is made. everybody wants to see it. >> i am talking about sausage maker. >> greg took the whole staff of "red eye" to see the sausage makers. >> did you eat sausage after the tour? you didn't, did you? >> in someways we did. i mean, some of us did. >> and there it was. >> it is not delegate and we are not doing laundry. >> i didn't say delicate. you come at me with the fake. >> with the what? >> the fake. it is like hip hop for the fake stuff. >> is it, bill? >> i have my ear on the street. >> that's because you sleep there. your face is on the street. >> i'm cozy. >> that's because somebody stole your pillow. >> bill, you said -- this is the real bill. you said santorum is an economic conservative. isn't he more like a george w. bush big government conservative? >> you know, i worked for imsh. i wouldn't say he is a big government guy. congress spent more than i would like. but rick is good on taxes. he was very strong on taxes. this preferential treatment, we could do without. >> he is not really a free trade guy. >> wait a second. club for growth is about politics? i wasn't even thinking about that. i never got the package. >> sandra, you asked how to pronounce missouri. a majority of missouri residents say missouri while missoura is common in rural, and northwestern parts of the state. are >> are you sure you don't have that flip-flopped? >> no, i don't have it flip-flops. a majority of missouri residents say missouri. >> are you sure you don't have that romney-ed. >> i didn't say that. >> i don't know what that means. >> thank you. >> they out earn movies with liberal values or study by add vaca see group backs up the purpose you said hollywood doesn't want to make money and they just want to be cool. a lot would -- >> the studio execs do not know what they are doing. they think they are out there making money. but they are trying to go to parties. >> when you say hollywood you don't mean the studio execs. >> they are clueless. they are trying to be at parties and not running around making money. >> that's probably true. but making money is what keeps their be joes. they have to do both, i think. i think what they do is they do these big budget movies, these super hero movies that this group says are conservative, although i am not sure that is entirely true. but they do that and make money and then they make money to finance their liberal flops. >> but if they were really interested in money they would make twice as many of the others. >> the nobel peace prize works the same way. you give it to mother theresa one year. >> i did not know that. >> that's a good point. >> i will steel that for "the five" tomorrow. >> not much crossover in the audience. >> greg, i know you have seen it. tree of life is nominated. i don't get that. there was a lot of biblical stuff in it, but it has dinosaurs in it. >> i thought you meant nominated for oscar. >> i am all for that, love the movie. but don't know why movie guide -- i don't want to get into that. i am sticking with why this is important to the story, and not why your opinion of movies is awful. >> the reason it was probably nominated is because it is a celebration of the family. in a quest to find out the secrets to the universe. other than that it is the worst movie ever made. >> it is really night. not. here is what it says, at that pot the movie shifts to the birth of the universe and creation of earth. the movie jump had to the so-called dinasaur age. >> is that what it said? >> yes. >> wow. they hated "jurassic park." >> well, so did i. >> you just don't like jeff gold bloom. >> true. >> you refer to finland as the home of the big mac? >> yes. >> finish land is known for cuisines such as -- i will butcher these names -- >> andy, as you know i spent some time in finland in the late 90s and the big mac was a lumber jack i met at a club. >> and i realize that is a sigero song. i get those confused. sandra, i don't know why conservatives think green cars are intrinsically evil. i am all for the government not having anything to do with it, but we have to do something. >> it is a great thing. i will tell you that we don't even have an electric grid that can even support the volume of all the electric cars that the actors want to support. that will be a huge problem. we will have to burn a lot of coal to make these cars go voo m, voom. we have the initiative and want to be more green but let's not push it beyond what we can do. >> i don't think people trust the idea of the green car because they are using our money , flushing it down a green toilet, and that's why they call it green cars because they cost so much money. the other thing is what she said . it will be run by coal. at the end of the day what is happening to me, it is the clip board. sthaz karma. >> greg, it is -- that's karma. >> greg, it is what it is. coming up, kim kardashian is dead -- set against mary egg -- marrying again. can't say i blame her. well, he is the latest to fall prey to their sparkly spray. mitt romney was glitter bombed tuesday night in denver, a city after conceiting defeat in colorado's caucus. in the past they have targeted gingrich and santorum. should their protests be put to rest? shall we discuss this in the -- >> lightning rooouuunnnndd. >> romney looked a little freaked out. everybody thinks this is cute. but it is seemingly harmless. but it is not harmless to the person who does president know it is harmless. -- who doesn't know it is harmless, right? >> this is not a funny thing. in most of the advanced countries of europe this is a capital offense. and this is one area where we should copy them. >> do they kill them? >> do you see people doing it? >> yes, it is a deterrent. >> when was the last time you saw a finished prime minister? it doesn't happen. the guy's name is peter smith. he was cited, and then he was released. do you think that is enough? and did the picture have any influence on your answer? >> no. >> peter smith, wasn't he the drummer for kiss? >> that is peter smith. >> there was a band called the smiths. habe that was them. >> -- maybe that was them. >> no, they all had different names. >> he was 8 sexual. >> no -- >> sell law bet. >> how did we get to morissey's sex life? >> that's fine, but enough of the glitter. it is st a gay joke the dplitter dplitter -- the glitter because of the gay marriage. >> it is a harmless way of protesting. >> why glitter because of the discos? >> i don't know if there is any gay connotations. >> glitter makes you happy. >> everybody looks at me -- >> okay, got it. >> it is gay marriage. the glitter bomb is gay marriage. >> have i no relation to peter smith. and i would also like to say that although this is harmless, i do think it is embarrassing for the person who is actually committing the act. i think it looks silly. i am not so -- >> >> the glitterrer or the glittery? >> the glitterrer. >> it looks awkward. >> it is like the throw and -- >> it is hard to throw glitter, trust me. >> wait a minute. that was at -- were you doing a gyre lehman reference there with the arm? a girlie man reference with the arm? >> i have seen the glitter thrown and it does not look like a football spiral. >> because it is not a football. bill, you have always been a big fan of glitter. >> the movie? >> yes, mariah carey. have the protesters ruined it by making it political? have they turned glitter into litter? >> i like the rhyme. >> thank you. >> i would say romney is against gay marriage. you've got gingrich against gay marriage who says he would take back don't ask don't tell and he does not want gay couples to adopt kids, period, and let's not get started on the stuff santorum said. it is easy to get dplit erred. glittered. but when you fire arabic translators because they are gay , that's not good. he is lucky he just got glitter bombed and not a soldier who was kicked out because of the don't ask don't sell policy. >> you disagree with that? >> >> no, the dramatic speaking is hilarious. >> you have to -- >> that's the only issue -- in five years bill won't read any of the articles. >> i absolutely read the art will cays. >> the only issue he decides to come prepared. >> i'm the only one in the office that knows how to use the brain room. >> it is true. they got what they deserved. >> wow. >> people cannot -- you want to say something? >> obama is against gay marriage. >> that's true. >> no, he is not. he says his ideas are revolving. he repealed don't ask don't tell which is huge. obama will say what he has to to get elected. i know we are in an election year. >> should obama be glittered? >> that's a good point. >> with his ears he would look like a funny disco ball. >> my final point is if somebody comes at you with something you can't expect it to be glitter. if somebody comes after you with something and it is not glitter and you go, oh it is glitter, but no, it is acid, you have to do something. somebody comes after me with glitter i will be touched. time to take a break. more stuff coming up. welcome back. next topic. a new study says the bad economy may cause men to cheat. they say cash-strapped dudes may have a strong biological urge to find new sex partners because they need a boost of self-esteem. or they want to make sure their jeans are passed on. are you okay? >> no, i heard the cameraman laughing while you were talking. >> and he is cheating on his wife right now. get out of here, you. security! >> he is not married. >> i guess i put some thought into this, and i wondered if it is because they couldn't afford their membership to hair club to men or vie -- viagra pills or continue their piments on their red corvette. men will always look for a reason to spray. >> no! >> but let's face it. this is not a man problem. this is not a woman problem. women do the same thing. but when times get tough people get insecure and look to boost themselves up. >> interesting theory. >> have i to say i can't -- i have to say i can't afford mrs. mrs. mcgern. it is very constraining. the by yule gee has -- the biology has nothing to do with it. >> the study gives guys excuses. all of these studies gives guys excuses to get out of things. remember the book, men are from mars and women are from venus? >> you don't understand, you are from venus. when i ignore you, i am being respectful of your womanly needs. >> that's a good one. >> men cheat on women because they are men. the guy that wrote the article got caught and now he came up with an excuse. we will close things out with a post game wrap up with tv's andy levy: go to fox news.com/red eye. i will be on dennis miller's radio show thursday at noon eastern time. go to dennis miller radio.com. see you back here at 5:00 p.m. eastern time for "the five" a new" red eye" returns tomorrow with patti ann browne and sherrod small. back to tv's andy levy for the post game wrap up. hi, andy. >> hi, greg, thanks. sandra, what is going on? >> please watch me all day long on the fox business network. i have my own segment called "the trade" and i give you action ideas for your port folio. tune in. >> all right. are you correct most of the time? >> they are not suggestions by myself. they are from these very bright, smart sources. >> okay, so you say. bill, how did you enjoy your first time on "red eye." >> i enjoyed it tremendously. i want to thank you for the lavish spread in the green room. i want to thank greg for not sitting me next to the pretty girl. >> i'm a dude. >> and i need to apologize to my wife. i know i told you i was on "sean." greg lead me on. >> is there two of you on shalou? >> yes, there is a young

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