many years went by where i had these chaotic holidays where i was reporting, you know, on holidays, around holidays, getting on planes just to go see my my family back in chicago from new york, even if it was for a few days around christmas or thanksgiving. and again, i always just longed for those quiet moments at christmas. and again, i looked into the future, and i. i always promised myself i would have that one day. well, then one christmas eve, i got an airplane i was supposed to get on an airplane and fly back to chicago to visit my husband and my family at the time. boyfriend and my family. little did i know he had plans to propose to me on christmas eve before we went to the big smith family christmas party. i missed my flight in due fashion. i showed up late and that flight, that plane took off without me. and i couldn't get home till the following day. and i ruined the entire surprise. but it's a memory i'll always have with me, because it was christmas time