Thank you. Larry cheers and applause larry thank you very much. Thank you. Please, please have a seat. Thank you very much. Please. People are so excited because its jaspers 18th birthday, everybody. cheers and applause big 18. Thats why were all here tonight. Welcome to the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. Big election news tonight, you guys, so lets see whats happening with the unblackening. Sorry, thats my favorite song. All right, New Hampshire, who lived free and who dies . I want to congratulate the other candidates, okay . Now that i got that over with, we are going to start winning again, and were going to win so much, you are going to be so happy. Thank you. Thank you, New Hampshire. Thank you. We are going now to South Carolina laughter larry oh, my god, donald. Are you okay . Your face is getting so dark, if youre not careful, youre going to get deported by donald trump its going to happen. You better be careful. But seriously, seriously, congratulations, mcnamee. New hampshire. You done lost your damn mind. Youve selected a guy with no experience, no tolerance, no substance, and whose policy ideas are as underdeveloped as his microscopic lilliputian hands. Google it. The man has tiny hands. But trump wasnt the only big winner out of New Hampshire. The other big winner was this loser. A dig surprise was john kasich finishing second with 16th. John kasich used a releaptlessly upbeat message to outdistance better funded, better known candidates. Tonight, the light overcame the darkness of the campaign. Larry no, it didnt you lost to a guy who called his closeet competitor a pussy the day before the primary the light is curled up on the ground and the darkness is currently kicking it in the nuts there was an opening for kasich because of marco rubios awful performance at saturdays debate. But dont worry. Rubio has heard your notes. Im disappointed in tonight. Our disappointment tonight is not on you. Its on me. Its on me. I did not i did not do well on saturday night. So listen to this. That will never happen again. Larry fun fact that soundbite is ten times more fun if you imagine hes sitting up in bed saying the exact same thing. Im disappointed in tonight. Our disappointment tonight is not on you. Its on me. I did not i did not do well on saturday night. So listen to this. That will never happen again. Larry true, true. Speaking of a campaign with e. D. , jebsclamation point only got 11 of the vote, so hes now spent 84 million, including his super pac, for three delegates. Thats 28 million a delegate. Im sure jeb never thought hed have a harder time finding voters than his brother did finding w. M. D. S. Please clap. laughter applause larry oh, investigate. Well, thanks for putting that in there, jeb. Thats what she said. Larry oh. That actually is what she said, thank you. So what happened on the democratic side . Bernie sanders swamped Hillary Clinton in the democratic primary. Sanders got 60 of the vote and clinton received 38 . Larry wooo applause man wow New Hampshire is feeling the bern, and for once, its not caused by the needles theyre sharing as part of the states heroin epidemic. Yeah, yeah, like i did that bleep . Yeah. I dont put that in peoples arms. That is a clear and decisive victory, you guys. I mean, hillary, oh, my god, she must have been she must have been pretty bummed in her concession speech. My goodness, this is a pretty exciting event. And im very grateful to all of you. Larry that doesnt sound like a speech from someone who lost New Hampshire. I just remembered why. She actually didnt lose. See the democrats this is so cool no, really, they have this cool system youre going to love this, New Hampshire where votes get turned into delegates, and these delegates go on to the Democratic National convention and vote for the actual candidate. And based on the system heres what actually happened last night in New Hampshire. So bernie won 60 of the popular vote, which translates into him recieving 15 delegates. And hillarys 38 finish gets her nine delegates. Okay, that math makes sense. Winner gets the most. But this is murica math. Right . You see, the democrats have two classes of delegates, and the second class is called super delegates. Yeah. Now, these badass delegates are Political Party insiders who can vote for anyone they want, at any time. Its like the difference between a Funk Railroad and a grand Funk Railroad. One is just better. And so, if you add in the super delegates, the final tally looks like this. Hillary got six and bernie got none. Yeah. So now that gives 38 vote count hillary a grand total of 15 delegates, while 60 votegetter bernie now gets 15. Yeah. He stays at 15. Which essentially makes last nights loser the american voters. Come on, everbody. U. S. A. u. S. A. u. S. A. so despite getting trounced in the popular vote, hillary walks out even closer to winning the nomination. Thats like saying the Carolina Panthers really tied the super bowl because that field goal they kicked was actually a super field goal worth 14 extra points. You can go bleep yourself. Thats what she said cheers and applause u. S. A. u. S. A. denver broncos. So congratulations, bernie because even though you technically tied the state that you technically won, you actually did win something, because while not winning while winning, youve proven your campaigns central thesis, that the entire american system is rigged. So what do we do . Listen, the only way to break this system is if the people stand up and say enough is enough. So go out there and vote, because your vote matters. whispers your vote doesnt matter. laughter well be right back. cheers and applause hi, im Jordan Carlos keeping black history 100 for the nightly show. Renowed architect paul r. Williams was the first black man inducted into the American Institute of architects, and due to segregation black people were barred from buying most of his homes. Thanks a lot, jim crow and happy black History Month this is a chick car. This is a gay car. This is a short mans car. This is a cute car. Slow car. This is a single, young, professionals car. This car has no street cred. This car aint hip hop kidless. Cute. Small. This car doesnt care what you call it. Sfx sfx crunch walla i need a hero. Im holding out for a hero til the end of the night, hes gotta be strong, and hes gotta be fast and hes got to be fresh from the fight. Sfx chip crunches, explosion and sizzle i need a hero. cheers and applause larry welcome back. Theres been a lot of talk the last few weeks about oscars so white, but recently, a girl from new jersey noticed Something Else was so white, as well. Her name is marley dias. When this special little girl from new jersey noticed that none of the books she was assigned to in her 5th grade reading class, they ever featured little girls who actually looked like her. Larry wow. I dont know which is more surprising that there werent books that looked like her, or that there are books in new jersey. Kidding, new jersey im kidding now, this is the kind of story we love to cover on our show, because this underdog tackled this real problem in an incredible way. Get this marley told her mom she was sick of reading about white boys and dogs. laughter welcome to my world, marley. Welcome to my world. But to fix the problem, marley started a book drive called one thousand black girl books. And her goal was to collect a thousand books about black girls, and she did it now shes donating the books to her school, as well as a school in jamaica, so that black girls everywhere can enjoy books about themselves, too. And because the campaign was such a success, shes not stopping there. The more books she gets, the more shell give to schools all over new jersey. Shes like the Johnny Appleseed of books not about Johnny Appleseed. laughter but this girl is so inspirational that we couldnt think of a better ending to this story than to talk to marley herself. So please welcome marley dias cheers and applause marley hey, marley have a seat right here. Alsoom. So great to you have here. Thank you. Larry such a cool story. You were reading story about white boys and their dogs. Yes. Larry so explain how that inspired you. I was reading how the red fern grows, and i read oldieler. Larry old yeller is really, really sad. And i read with a boy who saves money to away a dog to hunt, and the other is about a boy who finds a dog and uses him on a farm, and old yeller was about a boy who found a dog and used him on the farm. When i went home and read the books you wanted to about black girls, sometimes i was reading about a girl who went to africa. It was always different. It was never the same plot i was hearing over and over. Larry and these books werent in your schools. They werent in my schools yes. Larry your name is marley. Were you named after bob marley . Yes, my mother is jamaican, so she named me after bob marley. Larry its ironic to me that theres actually a movie called marley and me about a white boy and his dog. I know. Larry have you ever thought of collecting 1,000 moviees and giving them out to schools. Yes. Larry why do you think it is important to read a book with someone who is like you . What was it that really made important to you . It really was because when you read a story about a person that you can connect with, like, you host a tv show, so if you were to read a book about a black man who hosts a tv show you would remember whatever he learned and use it on the show. laughter . Larry could you go collect some of those books, maybe . Yes larry because could the black latenight host is a dog . Maybe. Larry how surprised were you that there were so many books. How many books did you collect . About one how. Larry1,000. They pushed reu to learn all that stuff, but when you get older books become scarce and you only read normally one type. I was like, whoa. I didnt know i was missing out on so many books in my school. When i get older i have to Read Book Club books about white boys and their dogs and it becomes, all my day. Larry i bet theres a book club out there, theres a white boy book club. Todays book, white i do boyand his dog. Larry what was the reaction with your classmates . Theyve been really proud of me. Larry oh, cool. They have been highfiving me saying, congrats on your 1,000. I hope you get 1,000 more. Larry have there been white boys congratulating you . Yes, they have, because sometimes theyre sick of reading those stories. Larry thats hilarious. Finally finally, a different story thats great. applause now, its interesting because i love the selflessness of what youre doing. Thank you. Larry youre getting all these books and youre giving them all away, you know, finding homes for them. Have you ever found any books that you really wanted to keep or hang on to . Yes. Like half of them. Larry do you ever secretly put them under your bed . Maybe. Larry really, seriously . Yeah ys. Larry its just between us. Yes. Larry what was one of your favorites . My favorite i have read its brown girl dream. Its a book in poetry form about a girl who lives i lives in 196d 70s. Larry thats awesome. You we like to keep it a hundred here on the show or as i like to say, keep it a hhhunnnit. Were giving you the keep it hhunnit award. On behalf of the nightly show, i would like to present to you the first ever golden hhhunnit award. On behalf the nightly show, weak tea. Please give it to them. Marley dias, everybody. Thank you. Larry marley, thank you so much. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for being here. Well be right back, everybody. Oh, by the way oh, my gosh thats awesome. Heres something to shout from the mountaintop. Crickets plans start at 35 a month, after 5 auto pay credit. With more 4g lte coverage nationwide than tmobile or sprint. Cricket wireless. Something to smile about. We broabout this new car. To get your honest opinion to keep things unbiased, we removed all the logos. Feels like a bmw. Reminds me a little bit of like an audi. So, this car supports apple carplay. Siri, open maps. She gets me. Wow. It also has teen driver technology. It even mutes the radio until the seat belts are buckled. Im very curious what it is. This is the 2016 chevy malibu. And it sells for . It starts at twentytwo five. What . Oh wow. I mean with all this technology. Thats a game changer. Why are you so tired . Ts. Ahh, the after lunch food coma. Weve all been there. You had planned on ordering the salad, but the pasta and fries looked so good. Now, youre trying to find a place to catch a few zzzs. Without the boss catching you. Next time, grab a great tasting 5hour energy® shot. Itll help you stay alert and productive. No matter whats on the menu. Now is the time for 5hour energy®. Sweetheart, dont look at me like that, its gonna be amazing. This is a disaster whos the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate . Miss monroe, eat a snickers. Why . You get a little cranky when youre hungry. Better . Much better. This scene will never make the cut, morons. Thanks to new dirtw when destroyer, the most powerful. Old spice body wash ever made. He doesnt. Of spicy chicken,here, brinstraight from nashville. Its smoky, crispy, spicy, and its hot ha, its not that hot. No need to drive to nashville. Kfc is just a two step away. cheers and applause larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, nightly show contributor, Jordan Carlos. cheers and applause nightly show contributor, grace parra. cheers and applause and hes one of the stars of hbos sitcom silicon valley, and you can see him in the new movie deadpool which opens this friday, february 12, comedian and actor, t. J. Miller. cheers and applause and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter nightlyshow using the hashtag tonightly. All right, guys, so the New Hampshire primary happened last night. Lets face it, it was an unprecedented election to say the least. And heres what the daily news ran. Can you show that . Thats great. Yes. Larry thats fantastic. What was the Biggest Surprise, trump or sanders . I think the Biggest Surprise is that he looks better in that photograph than real life. His face is less red. More attractive what way. We all thought this was funny for so long. I remember when hoe first started running, i was like, yeah, lets watch this. And then now, its not funny anymore. Larry i think america is starting to throw up in their mouth right now. Yeah ive never been waterboard but i imagine its similar to this. Yeah. Larry the establishment doesnt even care for him, the republican establishment. Its start not to matter and the reason is because the fear mongering he does is very effective. Hes vague, americas wrong. Im not going to tell you how to fix it. I know how to do that. Look, look over there, its a building. My names on it. Dont worry. Dont worry. So hes scaring the country, but hes saying im going to help you. Im going to lower the tax. And so hes getting this brain dead nation air, big section of it, to sort of get behind it. And our problem is if hillary can and bernie dont run together can either of them beat thats kates idea, my wifes. Larry who is the better at the nomination, trump or sanders . Who has the better shot . I think they both have a good shot. But bernie having a good shot makes meantime to bring children on to the planet. I think for bernie its like the democratic, you know, establishment is just tougher on him. Hes going to have a harder obstacle there. Larry how do you think hell do in the south, jordan . How do i think hell do in the south . Okay. I feel like but then again, i dont think donald trump will do a great job getting latinos, you know, like getting their vote. No. Larry who do you think has a better shot at latinos, trump or sanders . Sanders you cant be like i never believe this bleep until i see it, guys. Im sorry. You cant, like neil straussen, nag somebody, be like, mexicans are racists. Can i have your vote now . Thats not going to work. America is a woman, trump is this complete asshole, and all these americans are kind of like, oh, hes drug drus. Whats his problem . I want him to like me. Maybe i should sleep with him sooner. Hes broken inside and all he want is to coddle him. Larry thats horrible, you guys thats horrible wake this woman up quickly get her some help can hillary get the young voters i think is another problem . I think sanders has a much better chance if hillary gets the nomination, those young voters are going to rally around her, right . I hope so. I read today in the los angeles times, some people said i wouldnt vote for Hillary Clinton, but i guess ill vote for trump. So many people i dont understand that. Its how fractured the Democratic Party is people going back and forth between sanders and trump. I dont understand that at all. They really were. They were like, i was thinking about sanders, but ill vote for trump. Theyre not worried about policy or platform. Theyre not. Trump hasnt told us what it is. He hasnt told us that he happens to have woon but he knows we can make america agreement again and its broken now. Bernie sanders and he both do something that is refreshing and important. They sort of speak from the heart. Trumps heart is black and ice cold. And actually, actually, its probably almost as his face is red. His heart is black. Devil heart. He really is sort of hes speak and telling it like it is. Ask thats refreshing. And then sanders is doing the same thing. Some people are like, i just dont want to vote for this auto maton Hillary Clinton. Shes not charismatic. We have two fresh faces and one face that smiles like you know. I worry if hillary does get if shes the one running, shell alienate enough young voter voto go to trump that he could actually be the president of the united states. Stop it yeah, thats the idea. Dont talk about it. It wont happen. We have to talk about it now. Larry do you think trump is resinating out there more in america than sanders is . Abuse because these are the two candidates resinating the most, truch and sanders. They are. Larry of those two who is resinating most with just your normal american trump is more famous. Trump is more famous. Larry thats true. A lot of people vote for him because he is famous. I think that compassion that bernie is giving to all of us, every time he speaks, like the speech on Independence Day when bill pullep is getting us all together, we will not go lightly into the night. I love it. Every time he speaks, i love the passion larry well be right back. 53 state wins, and tmobile. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Listen, folks. I have to apologize, again. Look, those were last years numbers. It says right here on the card. Tmobile doubled there lte coverage in the last year. And with more lte towers than verizon, tmobile reaches pretty much everyone they do. Im not taking responsibility on this one. Uhuh, verizon got it wrong. Yes not me join the millions that switched. This is gonna be bigger than chman buns. He shell. This is gonna be bigger than tinder. This is gonna be bigger than drones. What . Its gonna be bigger than aliens. Than aliens . Its gonna be bigger than james hardens beard. This is gonna be bigger than those things. Its gonna be bigger than football. Real futbol. The quesalupa. Its gonna be bigger than, everything. laughing some of footballs greatest heroes were recently invited to a special advanced screening of one of the most inspirational films in years, eddie the eagle. The movies amazing. Russell you really see the importance of never giving up. Its truly a remarkable story. Drew if you love movies like drew hoosiers, rudy and remember the titans, drew you should see eddie the eagle. It doesnt matter your age, it doesnt matter what youve accomplished. Kurt this movie shows its never too late kurt to be who you want to be. Russell eddie showed the world. If you never jump, youll never fly. Yeah cheers and applause thanks to my pammists. A special thanks to marley dias for being here. Were almost out of time, but before we go, im gonna keep it a hundred. Its from cirkoolio. Is that what it is. They ask you can silence one candidate for good, but their voice becomes your voice. bleep . Oh, my god. Who do i choose i cant talk like trump forever. That would be horrible. Who do i want to sound like . Rubio . Larry all right, cruz. And then ill talk like this for the rest