No . All right . You woke up this morning with a difficulttoarticulate sense of panic, a kind of directionlessness, as though half of our wealth and almost all of our power was unaccounted for it with strangely 99. 99 of our people still here. Youre not imagining things. The Worlds Economic Forum is under way in davos, switzerland. It is the annual gathering of the worlds financial and political elite of the swiss resort. Jon ah the world Economic Forum. Where the elite meet to eat panda meat. Off a call girls seat. Mmm try to get a table. Thats mmm. I wish there was one perfect fact to explain the kind of event the world Economic Forum really is. 1700 private jets are expected to be used. laughter jon 1700 private jets. Thats why the 2015 forum is brought to you by skybidet. Skybidets the worlds leader in private jet intimate hygiene. Skybidets. You work hard, but your taint shouldnt have to. laughter applause im not sure i dont know how your taint would work hard anyway, but still. I mean i cant believe you have to supply your own private plane. Cant you jet pool. What is the topic of discussion this year that is no important nobody could wait for a commercial flight. Climate change a big topic at the world Economic Forum. laughter . Jon as in can you believe how much compliement we changed . Any other conference topics that may seem, when jex taposed with the Worlds Largest fleet of private jets, seem achingly lacking in awareness. One of the biggest issues here in davos is the issue of Global Inequality. Jon oh yes Global Inequality its actually the inflight magazine of the 1700strong davos jet fleet. Who am i kidding . Come on, im excited. Come ofinancial networks, spruce the individuals are you supposedly covering as journalists as though they were superstars you would do anything to bleep . The super bowls of business. We got some true all stars. The lineup includes goldman is upon. Plus c. E. O. Frs dow aetna, linovo novartis and more. Jon with special appearances by montgomery burns. The ghost of john d. Rockefeller. The biblical personification of wealth, mammon. But, of course, the gettogether is not just a celebration but a chance for the powerful to reflect on how the world has changed since the devastating financial collapse. That many of them caused and are profiting from. J. P. Morgan chase c. E. O. Jamie dimon. You made some provocative comments last week. You said the bank is under assault from regulators. I was referring to the fact that there are lots of different regulators. Its hard to deal with. Were going to deal with it. My job is to deal with it not to complain about it. Jon complaining about it is just my passion. laughter while some called for giant banks like morgan to be broken up jamie dimon would just like to let you know how hard Something Like that would be on us. A lot of my directors have mentioned to me that some of their companies were under some pressure to break up and thank god they didnt. The company itself was a port of safety in the storm. We will be a port in the next storm. And you want me to be a port. You want me to be here. Jon whats with the few good men bleep . You want me on that wall street you need me on that wall street you cant handle the truth well you cant afford it. Its really exprensive, the truth. Of course, not all the Financial Institutions are defensive about regulations. A. I. G. Is taking it very well. Whether we think its a good thing or not, were going to live with it and make the best of it. For a couple of reasons. One, it is a second set of eyes. The second thing is when we go to our clients and brokers and so on and say, 2008 will never happen again, part of the answer is ive got fed looking over my shoulder so we couldnt do 08 again if we wanted to. laughter cheers and applause . Jon no, no no. A why would you want to . We couldnt collapse the economy again if we wanted to. Not that we want to. And, also, do in 08. The financial collapse has lingo status. Man, did you just yait that. And who just lehmaned in the elevator . This appears to be the problem the financial titans titans are all facing. They know how great they are but we dont get it because were still remembering the collapse of the economy that they did. So the quandary is, if youre them, how do you get to keep celebrating yourself at places like davos while still staying below the radar. A great example is the company metlife. Metlife is not just a regrettable tattoo from my favorite baseball. I didnt realize i thought his whole body was baseball. It really is just his head. Theyre also a massive insurance conglomerate facing a changing regulatory environment. Regulators declared metlife so big its failure could destabilize the financial markets. Metlife said it is not too big to stale faille. Metlife is suing the u. S. Government. Jon what . Were not that big and to prove twe are take ago federal government. Mano a mano in a battle of equals. I mean, i hope we can afford it. Look, maybe government is wrong. Who has even been spreading the idea that metlife is some Global Economic colossus anyway . laughter jon all right, metlife has been spreading that idea. In presentations to its shareholders. So if metlife believes themselves to be a giant cob glomerate, whats their problem with being labeled systemically important anyway . Wouldnt they want that . Why does that matter . Now metlife must increase its cushion of capital against losses. They dont want to be forced to hold extra capital which brings down their profits. Jon ah. So basically government is saying to metlife i know you think everythings fine, but extra capital would provide you some oh, i dont know. Whats the word im looking for cushion, significant . Insurance. laughter because as a wise, bald, eightyearold failed football kicker once said to me when he was trying to get me to buy something well, why dont i let him tell you. I never realized the world was so full of hazards. Thats why theres a company like met life because sometimes things do get out of control. Thats why you should get met. It pays. Jon [indistinct high pitched speech] [loud electric guitar solo] its a different kind of Peanut Butter cup. Smooth and crunchy butterfinger Peanut Butter cups. Now in minis. Nestle. Good food. Good life. Thats a terrible call take the crust flavor challenge and get any one of our ten new crust flavors for free. Plus order online and get a large 2topping pizza for just 7. 99. Only at pizza hut. cheers and applause . Jon hey, everybody welcome back to the show im so excited. From time to time we like to get an International Perspective on current events. Mainly to confirm we really dont know anything about international events. Were happy to welcome back to the program our Senior International correspondent from south africa. Trevor noah is here trevor nice to see you. Thank you jon. Jon thank you for being here. Obviously were all still reeling from the terrible events of january 7. Jon oh, right, no thats the Charlie Hebdo massacre, paris. Well that too but i was actually talking about the baga and doran baga massacres in nigeria. Jon yes. Baga and doran baga. Are those nigerian satirical magazines . No, theyre towns jon. They were tens of thousands. Boko haram destroyed them and killed thousands of people. Jon yes boko haram. Ive heard of them. Hashtag bring back our girls. Yeah, thats right. Well, hashtag they didnt. In fact since then, boko haram has captured an area the size of slovakia. Thats two slovenias. Thats nine million american football fields. Jon holy bleep thats a lot of area. I did not realize. You know what, youre not the only one jon. Not a single head of state went to nay jerry after the attacks, not even obama and hes african. Jon well, well, african american. He was not born in africa. Born in hawaii. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. laughter i got you. I got you. Jon if it makes you feel better obama didnt go to paris either. Yeah, but at least you could have sent us jails taylor. What . Africa doesnt get a friend . laughter jon settle for paul simon . Oh okay but only if he promises not to steal our music. Hashtag bring back our songs. Look jon, in france 1. 6 Million People marched for 12 cartoonists, which is great. But by that math the whole world should have been marching in nigeria. Sometimes it just feels like africa is the vegas of islamic terror what happens in africa stays in africa. Jon that was a tremendous accent. laughter thank you. Jon well, you know, doesnt it stay in africa . I mean, does it really affect us here . Youd think that, jon. But what about the underwear bomber . He was nigerian. Jon oh, right. And because of him, you know nobody is allowed to wear underwear on airplanes no displ i i think you are. Jon better safe than sorry is what i would say. The point is this Charlie Hebdo was a direct attack on our western values of free speech and expression. Right. And boko haram literally means western education is forbidden. Jon really . You see, jon, were fighting the same terrorism, so next time just include us in your marches. Nigerian school girls use pencils, too, so you dont even have to change the props. Jon you know wed love to, trevor honestly, the states would love to but our global war on terror calendar is so full between isis theyre trying to sipt a caliphate. So is boko haram. They kidnap people, sell them into slavery. Jon pretty isisish. They wear these costumes. Jon holy bleep . Thats isisish. Thats like isis couture. Wraeb arab spring collection. They even have the same flag, jon displ the same . Rag flag . Thats just lazy. Dont you see jon, boko haram is black isis. Jon that sounds like the most awesome pam grier movie ever. laughter you know, jon, boko haram must feel like tyler perry huge numbers but no recognition. laughter . Jon look trevor, i get it, but were so busy fighting you know what . Thats too bad because if boko haram is not stopped they might take over nigerias oil field . What . Nigerias what . Oil. Nigeria has the worlds tenth biggest oil reserves, 37 billion barrels. laughter jon now that i think about twe do have an opening rye after i think in between isis and yemen i think we can squeeze you in. Perhaps we can have james taylor over there right away. All we have to do is call and be there yes he will youve got a friend je suis too young to know that song, but thank you. Jon thank you, trevor. Trevor noah everybody. Well be right back. cheers and the lightest or nothing. The smartest or nothing. The quietest or nothing. The sleekest. Sexiest. Baddest. Safest,. Tightest,. Quickest. Harshest. Or nothing. At mercedesbenz, we do things one way or we dont do them at all. The 2015 cclass. See your authorized Mercedes Benz dealer for exceptional offers through mercedesbenz financial services. This little piece of hersheys chocolate. Is called a pip its the way we all start and end a hersheys bar. Pip by delicious pip. Hersheys is mine, yours, our chocolate. Dad like, how many more weeks are you gonna be using my car . Until my Insurance Claim goes through this is our car. Mr. Parker, my parents have [dennis voice] allstate. [ normal voice ] they have this. [dennis voice] claim satisfaction guarantee. Really . [ normal voice ] their claim experience is. [dennis voice] fast, fair, and hasslefree. [normal voice] or they get their, like, money back. Saraaaah come to prom with me um, no. Hey, mr. Parker. Claim satisfaction guarantee. Just another way allstate is changing Car Insurance for good. Will twizzlers mixed berry bites ever end their rivalry with jolly rancher filled gummy bites . Not today. Bites. Little greatness. cheers and applause jon welcome back. My guest tonight, shes an actress her new film phenomenal called cake. His boy for lunch. The day after tomorrow. What . I make them tomatoes. You like tomatoes, right . Thats not the point well, what did he say . He say yes. Good. Jon she seems happy. It. laughter please welcome back to the program, Jennifer Aniston. cheers and applause Jennifer Aniston is here. Oh youre going to dance and sing for me displ im going to sing and dance because this is going to seem like a trope, a talk show trope. But i mean it sincerely. The performance here is so wonderful not unexpected but wonderful. Well, thank you jon youre very welcome. You just troped me. Jon you have been troped, lady. I will meme you once i trope you. When you do this so, it is a risk to some extent. Yeah. Jon youre putting yourself out there in a manner that, you know people are maybe not as accustomed to seeing you. Right, yeah. Jon is the mindset i just feel like challenging myself . Do you consider those types of things . Whats the mindset . No, the mindset is screw it. I want to i dont cotton to that type of language . Im so sorry. Im not going to cotton to that type of language. Jon say bleep or dont say anything. I can say bleep . Jon i think so. So i said bleep it. I wanted to challenge myself. I really did. I was ready to do it, and i was tired of of i love i love comedies. We all love comedies. We like to laugh. We want to escape. But i also know i want theres so much, in all of us actors, im sure that we want to explore and i was just ready to do it and this came along and i wasnt available so i had to kind of wait and wait and beg to get in that room and, you know jon and you say no available. What does that mean . That means it was offered to another actress at the time. Yeah. Jon and do you have to wait for that person to i think somebody may have killed them. No nobody killed anybody. No it didnt work out. So luckily for me, i was able to go and throw my hat in the ring. And then then then comes the fear of, like, oh wow. So lets get cracking. Jon its the story about a woman who is in intense physical and emotional pain. So youre carrying that throughout it. Yeah. Jon but you have to do it without without tipping it. Its a difficult proposition. Yeah, it was tricky. It was a lot of layers. Jon which is why they call it cake. Jon you were so far ahead of me on that. It really was it is hard. This comes out this weekend tomorrow displ ask and youre done for a bit . Youre the hardest working lady in show business . From here i go back home. Jon a vacation. Do you have a vacation . I have to go to the saga wards. I got i got thats a fun night. And then there are a couple of things eye just work. I like to work. Jon why are there so many shows to go to for awards . I dont think ive ever seen an industry so many. Jon ive never seen anything like it. I dont. And i dont know why you know, its that thing its never been in my sort of motivation is having a trophy. But but it is sure nice when they call you realliarily and say that happened. I just never ive never experienced it. Jon dont you have to clear out all of december, january, and february to go to these . Theres one of these dinners every every night. Yeah. Jon for a variety of things. Yeah. Jon comdierk i think we did it the right way. Yeah. Jon we never never, no. They just give you one night and go thats it for you, funny people. Thats all were giving you. Jon a six pack and a hilton on the side of the highway in detroit and they say, enjoy your life. Is it the type of thing where these actors that you worked with previously . You know, maybe highlevel unbelievable. Unbelievable. Anna kendrick, bill macy. Jon had you known each other . Had you worked together before . I knew i had met police tee and bill along the way. And anna i just think is fabulous. Sam i had never met. Jon an intimate experience, though. We go to the same gym. Jon i must have missed you guys because i go to the same gym. Really, right when i walked out here there are two heavy weights right out there. Is that for you . Jon yeah you just kind of pump that just to get all ready before you come out i cant even get up in the morning without lifting bleep . First thing being yourself. Jon dont let what appears to be an outofshape body and someone who in 15 years has gone from being young to Ernest Borgnine thats not true. Jon im not talking even mchales navy. Im talking spongebob era. You look the same except for some little salt and pepper silver fox thing happening as you did 20 years ago. Jon that is maybe the biggest, best lie anybody has ever thats very kind of you to say. You had dark that was your best performance . Youre very good in cake. Im being serious. Jon but that its interesting, we were i cant remember what it was. We were in the rewrite. Yes. Jon and i dropped my pen. And everyone froze. Why . Jon because i think they wanted to see is he going to bend down . Do you think hes going to go for it . Youre talking like youre a very old man. Jon all right right, so heres what everybodys waiting to see . Is he going to go for it . Or just go back to the mug . Go back to the mug. What did you do . What happens if i just do that . Jon gito the mug. Thats what old people do. laughter its a new thing. Cake. Yes, sir. Jon is going to be in the theaters tomorrow. Go see it. Youre going to get blown away by this. Its wonderful. Jennifer aniston, thank you for joining us. Thanks. When you set out to find new roads, you obsess over perfection. Evolve function. Elevate form. And create the highest quality midsized sedan. Chevrolet. The most awarded car company of 2014. Now during the chevy president s day sale current gm owners can choose an eligible cruze in stock the longest and get 3,500 dollars total cash allowance. Find new roads at your local chevy dealer. I bring the gift of the name your price tool to help you find a price that fits your budget. Uhoh. The name your price tool. Shes not to be trusted. Kill her. Flo it will save you money the name your price tool isnt witchcraft and i didnt turn your daughter into a rooster. She just looks like that. Burn the witch the name your price tool a dangerously progressive idea. [indistinct high pitched speech] [loud electric guitar solo] its a different kind of Peanut Butter cup. Smooth and crunchy butterfinger Peanut Butter cups. Now in minis. Nestle. Good food. Good life. The nissan rogue, with safety shield technologies. The only thing left to fear is your imagination. Now get 0 financing or up to 1,000 back on the 2015 nissan rogue. Nissan. Innovation that excites. cheers and applause . Jon thats our show. Here it is, your moment of zen. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org larry tonightly. Were getting ready for super bowl sunday. I dont want to take sides here, but its between the seahawks and the cheaters. cheers and applause all right. Now is tom brady responsible for deflategate . Are you listening . I just called them cheaters. Now, me i like my football like i like my nightly show wings hot, beer cold and my balls inflated. Lets do this cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers larry thank you. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. I like larry, larry yeah. Thank you welcome to the nightly show. Im your host larry, larry. Okay, now, whos pumped for super bowl sunday . cheers and applause okay, okay, okay. Here you go. Heres my super bowl prediction. Going out on a limb, going out on a limb. Heres my prediction eye will be drunk by the coin toss. cheers just saying. Wake me up for katy perry thats all im saying. laughter all right, now this has been a rough year for the nfl with all their offthefield scandal, so its got to be a relief for fans out there to final
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