Thank you so much, everybody we have a great guest for you tonight from last week. Tonight, john oliver is here, everybody cheers and applause yes yes im excited were all excited except for janice from accounting because she dont give a bleep . Welcome back to the show, people. We have been away for a week, which in trump time, feels like three years. So good news, his term is almost over yeah yeah cheers and applause but, seriously, though, hes got, like, four more years left. audience reacts youre saying ahhh. laughter lets take a moment to celebrate the best oscars moment of all time. Heres what you missed if you were sleeping through the oscars. The biggest blunder in oscar history. La la land. The biggest epic blunder. La la land. Oscars so wrong. Mange mixup at the 89t 89th annual academy awards. Im sorry. No, there is a mistake. Moonlight, you guys won best picture. cheers and applause trevor guys im sorry, america has too many twists. My heart cant handle this anymore. I cant get over what happened. The elections, the super bowl, now this h. Im going to start watching game of thrones just to calm my nerves. laughter everyone is focusing on the negatives of last night. But i think we should focus on the bright side. In front of the whole country, black people were done wrong and minutes later got reparations. I dont care what you say, to me, that is progress. That is progress cheers and applause because because, normally, that woul would have taken like, what, 50 years . Normally, in america, they would have had to make a movie about how moonlight lost the oscar before they would have ac nongd moonlights oscar. So kudos, thats progress. So lets move on. I got to spend a little time away last week. I will be honest with you, i wanted to escape politics for a while. So i went to disneyland. Yeah, which wasnt really a good choice, because everywhere i looked, i couldnt escape the thought of donald trump. I saw this cartoon idiot named donald with a big red tie everywhere i went. Goofy and his bumbling ass reminded me of sean spicer. Pluto is steve bannon because he hates jews. audience reacts missing a week of trump is like doing hear on mark ruffalo. You dont know where to begin. laughter hes the president. Lets talk about what he wants to talk about. The media. President trump ratcheting the war on the immediatey. News organizations blocked from joining a white house media gaggle. The fake news doesnt tell the truth. One false story after another. The fake news media. The dishonest media. We are fighting the fake news. Its fake, phoney, fake. They are the enemy of the people. Trevor wow the enemy of the people . Now, aside from that being a phrase made famous by comrade mustache, the media is a vital part of fawningsing democracy. All this in here, this informs the people. Its the lifeblood of freedom, the press is not the enemy of the people. This is what people need. I mean, not everything, but they need to know about most of the things in here. If i show you this story here, if i sorry. I hate it when this sorry. bleep i hate you youre my enemy laughter anyway, the press is important, you know what i mean. The press is important. If trumps hostility toward the media wasnt already clear, last friday trump tweeted i will not be attending the White House Correspondents Association dinner this year. Say what you want about trump but thats the first good decision he made in office. The first one cheers and applause because can you imagine how hard trump would have been roasted at that dinner . Can you imagine . Someone actually sent me some of the jokes they were thinking of doing. Ill just read a few of them. I dont know even know who wrote these. laughter says here, trump likes his steak so leathery and overdone to save time with the waiter, he just points at his own face. laughter President Trump has spent more time playing golf than tiger woods, which is appropriate since his policies are going to bleep more women than tiger woods did. audience reacts who wrote these things . listen to this one, donald trump blows Vladimir Putin like there are Illegal Immigrants hiding in putins bleep and hes got to suck them all out. audience reacts i cant believe people would say those things about the president laughter trump has always hated the media, we know. This one reason hes especially angry now is because the media keeps reporting unflattering leaks from inside the maralago of the north. Anonymous sources claim the president spends more time in a bathrobe watching tv or wandering the halls. The president retiring at the white house residence after 6 00 in the evening to flip on cable news. A report aides cant figure out how to flip the lights on in the cabinet room . They have been meeting in the dark and wandering around testing doorknobs till they find the way out. Trevor you know youre in a competent administration when every meeting turns into escape the room. Have you looked behind the painting . Maybe a clue, guys maybe its a clue laughter we could keep arguing whether press should publish leaks, but leaks can be the only way to figure out what the government is doing, whether lying about the vietnam war, watergate, or discovering that the n. S. A. Stalks us online, and we know they stalk us because sometimes they accidentally hit the like button, then they delete it taking away my privacy and my likes laughter and if your Administration Even lies about dumb things like how many people came to their parties, it shouldnt be a surprise when a lot of people in the building take it upon themselves to tell the truth. The report that was leaked this week by the department of Homeland Security said country of citizenship is unlikely to be a reliable indicator of potential terrorist activity. Leaks already leading to the resignation of n. S. A. Chief michael flynn. A leaked transcript of the call between trump and mexican president enrique pena nieto. Intelligence leaks. At the time, President Trump didnt know the contents of an executive order he was signing, didnt know he was giving steve bannon a seat on the National Security council. Trevor a leak one after another. They think they have a bowl but they have a colonel dar. Not going well, which explains why they are getting so desperate. The white house taking unprecedented measures to clamp down on leaks. Sean spicer met with about a dozen communication staffers last week and staffers were reportedly told to dump their government issued and personal phones for a phone check to prove they had nothing to hide. Spicer also asked staff not to leak details of the meeting tore the crackdown on leaks. Trevor so much for that. laughter applause yeah, you cant make this up. You cannot make up this. The leaks are so bad, sean spicer held a secret meeting to stop leaks, which was then immediately leaked. Even jesus is, like, man, you got betrayed hard cheers and applause this is really sad to see, you know, because donald trump, becoming president , expected loyalty, but, instead, looks like hes getting calmer. Dont forget, hes this guy you see so much from these wikileaks. Wikileaks i love wikileaks incredible information provided by wikileaks, so dishonest, rigged system trevor ah, donald trump, you made the classic mistake you thought leaks would always help you. But, you see, leaks are like ted cruz, they have no friends. Well be right back. cheers and applause hi, were from the streets theres a saying snitches get stitches. Times change. When donald trump is president , yall snitches have a Civic Responsibility to tell us what hes up to. If youre a member of the intelligence community, a government bureaucrat or a disgruntled person who didnt sign up for any of this bleep , tell us what you know because from now on snitches get riches. Stay snitching, america. Slow wifi at home. Guess im studying at the gym tonight. That is rough. You know. Ipad pro has lte like your phone, so you can get internet pretty much anywhere. Anywhere hwith 5 lines for justw at 100 per month. Ss. Plus, switch and get up to 5 free Samsung Galaxy amp 2 smartphones. So get more, save more and get down. Cricket wireless. Something to smile about my new georgia gold make regular gold jealous. C my georgia gold is hand prepared with tangy Honey Mustard barbecue sauce. And gold is only gold. Get it as a chicken little sandwich, extra crispy tenders or extra Crispy Chicken for a limited time. Kfc. Its Finger Lickin gold. Americas favorite cookie delicious european Chocolate Candy introducing new oreo Chocolate Candy bars look for them wherever you buy Chocolate Candy. Um, i cant have happen what happened t time. Ahem. Heres my card. Im sure you know your profits are down 8 . So, just let me know if you want to change that. I believe in you break through , break through and a pepsi is just 9. 99. Ger meal deal with fries mine has bacon seared right in. Mine has gift cards. Well mine, has game tickets. Times almost up to get all this for 9. 99, and a shot to win instant prizes, with a winner every five minutes. What would help is simply being able to recognize a fair price. Thats never really been possible. But along comes a radically new way to buy a car, called truecar. Now it is. Truecar has pricing data on every make and model, so all you have to do is search for the car you want, there it is. Now youre an expert in less than a minute. This is how car buying was always meant to be. This is truecar. The daily show now, everyone everywhere is still trying to figure out what in the living bleep happened at the oscars. Here with his expert analysis is our very own roy wood, jr. , everybody cheers and applause thank you, trevor. Trevor roy, welcome to the show. Real quick, though, whats going on with the outfit, man . I dress up whenever a black movie wins best picture laughter should have seen me after 12 years a slave won. laughter in order to for you to understand what happened last night, you have to understand the phenomenon known as peak blackness trevor im sorry, roy. What the hell is peak blackness . Trevor, peak blackness is a rare meta physical anomaly that can only occur when an ama an ay mum comes together of blackness. Trevor what are you talking about . When a lot of black happens together. Black history month. Beyonce pregnancy with twins. Multiple black movies nominated for oscars around Frederic Davis came back to life. We are operating at maximum levels of blacktivity we havent seen in decades better known as peak blackness cheers and applause trevor you know, i dont want to call you out, but im from africa and ive never heard of peak blackness. Thats because yall get it all the time. Africa is peak blackness. But for us, its special. Peak blackness is the only time you can do this. South carolina protester was arrested at a demonstration in downtown charleston. Police say the man jumped a barricade, tried to take this confederate flack from a man. cheers and applause define the police to fight the confederacy while statement setting a high jump record, peak blackness cheers and applause and that is what happened last night. All of this blackness culminated at the oscars. You neumann light was winning because a brother from chicago was taking selfies and touching peoples trophies. Jimmy kimmel thought he was pranking some old black dude. In any month that would have worked but garys peak blackness could not be tamed. Im gary from chicago. You know were on tv so you dont have to do that. I want to. Let me give you a little tour to octavia. We have quite a few stars. Emma stone and her brother spencer. Emma brought her brother. I feel like youre ignoring the white celebrities. I am laughter trevor oh, my god that is amazing gary was straight up just whoa, whoa, whats happening to my hands . What is this . Peak blackness, trevor thats whats happening to you. Trevor, the oscars were so black, they was turning to mel gibson like, hey, are you just going to sit there or are you going to do something . Trevor this is great, weve hit peak blackness . Mmhmm. Trevor do you think it will ever end . Oh, no, trevor, peak blackness is here for a long time. Real hiphop is back, remy is beefing with nicki minaj. There is nothing that could end peak blackness. Trevor nothing that can end peak blackness, baby peak blackness trevor peak blackness ha its over. Trevor we had a good run. Roy wood, jr. , everyone. Well be right back. cheers and applause mmm. Lets get you cleaned up, before mom gets home. Thatll work. Dentastix cleans. So you can get closer. Now you can sip the best that nature has to offer. Introducing drink chobani. Classic hersheys outside. With a new creamy, crunchy inside. New hersheys cookie layer crunch. Classic reimagined. An unlimited data plan is only as good as the network its on. And verizon has been ranked number one for the 7th time in a row by rootmetrics. man hey, uh, whats rootmetrics . Its the nations largest independent study and it ranked verizon 1 in call, text, data, speed and reliability. woman do they get a trophy . Not that i know of. But you get unlimited done right. man 2 why dont they get a trophy . man 3 they should get something. woman 2 how about a plaque . I have to drop this. My arms getting really tired. Unlimited on verizon. 4 lines, just 45 per line. Will the all new kfc georgia gold chicken with its great tasting Honey Mustard barbeque sauce make you rich and successful . [thud] i dont know. Its Finger Lickin gold americas favorite cookie delicious european Chocolate Candy introducing new oreo Chocolate Candy bars look for them wherever you buy Chocolate Candy. Lines . An develop fine lines what lines . The chapstick total hydration collection. Our advanced skin care formulas instantly smooth and transform your lips. Chapstick. Put your lips first. Only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol® cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show my guest tonight is the host of las week tonight on hbo. Please welcome john oliver cheers and applause very kind. Youre very kind. Trevor this is so much fun for me. Really . Trevor yeah, i feel like im watching tv now. Well, careful, im about to say bleep and you will have to bleep that. Trevor do you enjoy it . I think you rubbed it in our faces the fact youre the only late night guy that doesnt have to bleep. Its nice to be able to swear anyway, but post november, its really nice to swear. laughter its like curse words are something you need in your bag to get through the day. I like to acknowledge the driver. Trevor on sunday im, like, im getting to start my week and john oliver will take me on a journey. You always said no trump. When once it happened, you said, well see how long that lasts. Yeah, he really called me on that bull bleep in the most damaging way. I hope i didnt factor into anything hes ever done, but, no, i really enjoyed the time that he was not a relevant political figure. Trevor yes. Its going to be a while before i feel that way again. Trevor do you ever enjoy trump, though . People always ask me that question. They go, like, do you ever im thinking. Im coming up snake eyes on that roll at the moment. Have i ever enjoyed him . Trevor have you never . Got to be one time. Well, no, hes a charismatic, funny man. Trevor yes. So he was, like, a fun clown, but the beauty with clowns, actual clowns is they can knock into things and their cars explode and their shoes are too big but they dont run the most powerful nation in the world. So i feel like you take the best clown and you put them in the oval office, and things get less funny. laughter thats my concern. He was funny. He was a funny man, and he should have stuck to that rather than whatever it is that hes doing now. Trevor it is terrifying. Every single day, it is terrifying. You know when i knew it was terrifying is when, on your show, you said its not good enough to just watch the show. Its not good enough to just tweet. You have to get out there and do something. You have to support people. That was maybe the first time i ever saw john oliver come out and go, like, okay, lets put the comedy aside just for a little bit and do something. Maybe. I dont know. I dont generally like to do that. I dont like to set the comedy assayed, right, because i feel like anything we try to do i want to do through comedy. I think everything is in pursuit of a joke. Now, when we do our long stories, right, which can be 20, 30 minutes sometimes trevor ive noticed. laughter yeah, it can feel longer. I understand that. You feel like you want to give some sense of closing an argument out. Trevor yeah. So you dont want to talk for 20 minutes, paint a terrible picture and then say, okay, good night. So sometimes we like to point towards what we think would be a solution to those things and occasionally people might have some power in terms of facilitating some kind of change, but that is not the reason for doing what we do. Trevor do you ever, like, read the news the next day and then you were just trying to high light an issue and they go, like, john oliver eviscerates and youre, like, i was just trying to talk about the issue. Do you eviscerate by mistake . Accidental evies regulation is the worst kind. In a long piece, we work very hard to put nuance in there because things are rarely black and white. So we really try and inject nuance, and then you cant really do anything about the fact thats often packaged in a very reductive way. So if you spent weeks working on something and you try and show the shades of grey in it and then someone says he disembowels this issue you think, well, i didnt really do it, but i didnt say i did. I didnt say i was going to disembowel you. Youre making me promise things i didnt promise. Trevor sounds like a really humble politician i really didnt promise that, and they made me deliver. laughter i dont think we have that as much. People want eviseration, they want you to destroy a thing. Jon stewart takes a sword to the heart of this issue, pulls its out, wipes the sword off and slinks it on his trousers. laughter yeah, its silly, but you cant do anything about the secondary packaging so youve just got to move on. Trevor if you had a chance to do a the daily show, would you do it . Like looking at how much news comes out now. You have sunday and everyone says the grass is greener on the other side. Yes. Trevor i watch your show and im, like, man youre so lucky, john you get to do one show a week. It feels that way. Because, you know, theres a lot that goes into that. Trevor yeah. So theres a real theres a greet mental clarity to having a show to do the next day because then you dont feel too bad about the show youve just done, not that this was terrible laughter im just saying im just saying, you will be fine tomorrow you can take another swing thats all im just saying. Trevor did you just eviscerate me . i feel like you just eviscerated me. That was accident. I just got eviscerated by john oliver in an interview thank you so much. Trevor john over, everybody well be right back is microsoft word on the ipad . Yeah, it is. Just head to the app store and download it. Now, you have microsoft word on your ipad pro and it works with apple pencil. Word . Word. Word yeah, word. Wooooorrrddd. Classic hersheys outside. With a new creamy, crunchy inside. New hersheys cookie layer crunch. Classic reimagined. You may be muddling through allergies. Oned with. Try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. And zyrtec® is different than claritin®. Because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. Try zyrtec®. Muddle no more®. Nobody does unlimited like tmobile. While the other guys gouge for unlimited data. Tmobile one save you hundreds a year. Right now get two lines of data for 100 dollars. With taxes and fees included. Thats right 2 unlimited lines for just 100 bucks. All in. And right now, pair up those two lines with two free Samsung Galaxy s7 when you switch. Yup free. So switch and save hundreds when you go all unlimited with tmobile. Come on. prisoners shouting americas favorite cookie delicious european Chocolate Candy introducing new oreo Chocolate Candy bars look for them wherever you buy Chocolate Candy. For every social occasion. So the the broom said, sorry im late. I overswept. [ laughter ] yes, even the awkward among us deserve some laughter. And while its okay to nibble in public, a lady only dines in private. Try the name your price tool from progressive. It gives you options based on your budget. Uhoh. Discussing finances is a big nono. What, im helping her save money shh men are talking. Thats it, im out. Taking the meatballs. How did we take real fruit, thats it, im out. Pure greek yogurt and end up with something perfectly smooth . Use your imagination. New drink chobani. For just 9. 99. In were talkin burger. Fries pepsi. Prizes. Like producer for a day with mike and mike. Woo your burger deal could win instant prizes too. But times almost up. So hurry in to applebees today. I got it. I gotcha baby. vo its being there when youre needed most. Love is knowing. Hes the one. vo . It was meant to be. And love always keeps you safe. Were fine. vo love is why we built a car you can trust. Now and for a long time to come. The allnew Subaru Impreza sedan and fivedoor. A car you can love no matter what road youre on. The Subaru Impreza. More than a car, its a subaru. Tonight. Thank you so much for tuning in. Now here it is, your moment of zen. Clifton city leaders decide not to change the name of ellsworth street to dic chris its 29 minutes until midnight. These are all the best moments your d. V. R. Cut off today. It was an eventful night in hollywood at the swarovski crystal explosion we call the academy awards. Memorable momentin
comparemela.com © 2020. All Rights Reserved.