Landlord. laughter but news stories over the last three days have been insane. A dramatic capture. The worlds most wanted, most dangerous drug lord Joaquin El Chapo guzman back in mexican custody. Gusman is back in the same mexican prison he tunneled out of six months ago. laughter . Trevor oh, way yeah, that makes sense, they are taking him back to the same prison he escaped from last time. Well, what, do you think he learned his lesson. Do you think that is what happened. I dont think mexico understand this is an international kingpin, not a badly trained maltese. Stay, chapo, stay stay, chapo so they caught el chapo again. Now he was first captured in 1993, only to escape from a maximum security prison by hiding in a laundry cart. Because he too has seen movies. E prison because bugs bunny. laughter now this is not the weird part of this story, that is the crazy thing. The best part is that it seems like the authorities were able to track el chapo down after he gave an interview to sean penn for Rolling Stone magazine. Yeah, just take a second to think about that. He gave an interview to sean penn and thats how they caught him. Which left everyone asking the obvious question. I got to ask you, given the vast resources of the u. S. Federal government, how did an actor find el chapo before the gdea and mexican army. Dan, i got one word for you, ego. Trevor can we just stop for a second. That right there, that is not the shirt you wear when you are trying to lie low. You can see that shirt from space. What is that, el chapo . You running a multibillion dollar drug cartell, not hitting the late night buffet on a cruise ship. Whats wrong with you . You are lucky joan rivers was dead, she would have arrested you for a fashion crime. What is that shirlt. Its disgusting. Thats right, el chapo, you just got burned by the host of the daily show what are you going to do about it nothing yeah why . Because youre in prison and you might escape and come looking for i didnt think before i okay, lets anyway, now obviously el chapos first and perhaps last interview is a big scoop for any journalist. So for those who havent red sean penns 10,000 word article, i am going to give you a real sample of his writing. This is what he wrote. This is beautiful writing. This simple man from a simple place vowned by the sample affections of his sons to their father and his towards them, the simple man. He does not initially strike me as the big bad wolf of law. At this moment i expel a minor travelers flatulence. Sorry. You fart and then you write about it . And with it, i experience the same chif allry he offered when putting kate to bed, as he pretends not to notice. We escape its subtle brume, that is a strange description for a fart. Its subtle brume . Sean penn literally thinks his own farts dont stink. And i join my colleagues inside bungalow. Now what is crazy about this is not that sean penn turns this into an article about his own farts, but that he manages to make it sound like erotic fiction. I joined my colleagues inside the bungalow, where the el chapo slowly undoes his butt ons on his luxurious silk shirt. laughter applause so whats next for el chapo. This morning the u. S. Is trying to extradite the drug lord el chapo to the u. S the americans have long wanted to extradite him to face justice in our court system. Trevor yes extra disiet him to america extradite him to america. My personal suggestion send him toe mant i woak county because if they can keep a white person locked up forever, that mexican is never getting out. And there is another weird thing on the news this weekend, in the opposite of mexico. A man by the name of paul lepage who happens to be the governor of maine had to apologize for his racist statement. You see, he was talking about his states heroin crisis which he has been known to blame on drug dealers from out of state. And this is what he said. These arent people that take drugs. These are guys with the name d money, smoothie, shifty, these type of guys that come from connecticut and new york. laughter . Trevor no, no, no, dont do that, no. Cuz i know that seems like the racist part. It seems like just like table d money, smoothie, shifty, things like black dwarfs or but thats not the racist part. Because unfortunately for us, black people, d money and smooth are the names of real criminals that they arrested. So here is the actual racist part. They come up here. They sell their heroin, then they go back home. Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young while girl before they leave young white girl before they leave. Trevor im sorry, what . Half the time they impregnate a young white girl before they leave. What happens to the other half of the time. What, are you accusing them of bfg lazy . Do you think theyre just driving become and theyre like oh, snap. Thats what i forgot, ampreg nation. Ampreg nation. And another thing, governor, why are you even mentioning this when talking about drugs. Heroin, thats illegal. Interracial sex is legal. Theyre equally addictive, but still, only one is a crime. Only one is a crime. So lets make like a refugee and move on to germany. Which spent this past weekend curled up with an interesting book. Adolf hitler memoir mein kampt is on sale in germany for the First Time Since world war ii and the first printing sold out quickly. Trevor yeah, thats right. It sold out, mein kampt sold out, every copy in germany was bought in just a week. What the hell, germans like did you want to buy it before it went back into the disney vault . What were you rushing for . I dont understand this. Like now to be said the he are issue was an annotated copy. German scholars have written notes to show how wrong hitler was and they think this will disswaid future hitlers or something am but people only read the headlines, people read germans buy mein kampt again, like if you want to read mein kampt that badly, just play it cool, dont rush in in the first week, just be chill. People are like hey, clause, did you hear, you know, hitlers mein kampt is out, and just be like oh, yah . Oh which hitler . Oh. I hadnt heard. Yeah. Maybe i will check it out if i have the time. Okay. Im going to the bathroom. Yah . Ill be right back. Ill be right back. Get the book youve got to understand, germans, i know are you excited but it creeps people out. You cant rush in, it would be like if jar ed from the sandwich place went to a middle School Talent show and sat front row center, yeah, exactly. It would be like dude, come on, at least go sit in the mez a neen, are you making us uncomfortablement but here my friends is the craziest thing that happened last week. Kim north korea, may or may not have detonated a new clear bomb. A lot of people heard about that. No one knows why, but he says that they did and no one trusts him because he says crazy [bleep] all the time. And if you are asking trevor, why would kim jungun just make up that he dead natured a Hydrogen Bomb, well, here is why. He is a man who likes attention am particularly close to his birthday, which falls on january 8th. So this may have been his way of celebrating early. laughter . Trevor that is the saddest thing ive ever heard in my life. Like if quim jung unel braits celebrates with Hydrogen Bombs god help us the day chubby ever loses his virginity. What the hell, kim. I mean really . A Hydrogen Bomb . By now you should know how someone named kim gets attention. If you want attention and your name is kim, you can do simple things like launch an iphone app, or, you could pose for a magazine, kim. Yeah. Or even better, just make a sex tape with a black guy. Thats yeah. No, dont you dare, dont you dare. I told you, its not illegal. But extremely addictive. Well be right back. Well be right back. cheers and applause other wireless carriers make families share data. Not tmobile switch now and get four lines with up to six gigs each. And no sharing. Just thirty bucks a line at tmobile. Hey pal . You ready . Can you pick me up at 6 30 . Ah. boy im here im here cop too late. I was gone for five minutes ugh move it. Youre killing me. You know what, dad . Im good. dad it may be quite a while before hes ready, but our Subaru Legacy will be waiting for him. vo the longestlasting midsize sedan in its class. The twentysixteen Subaru Legacy. Its not just a sedan. Its a subaru. The 88th southern parallel. We had traveled for over 850 miles. My men driven nearly mad from starvation and frostbite. Today we make history. Bienvenidos welcome to the south pole if youre dora the explorer, you explore. Its what you do. What took you so long . If you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Its what you do. You did it, yay daily show. Folks, ive got to tell you, i am so excited for tomorrow night. President obamas very first state of the union address. Yes, i mean the first one that i am going to watch. Its actually obamas 7th. And also his final address, yeah. Here to help us get ready is roy wood, jr. cheers and applause thank you, african. Trevor, its that time of year again when the president comes to the Capitol Building and tells america how its been doing. Why . Cuz he has to. The constitution requires that the president check in with congress from time to time. And once a year is about all he can take. Obama doesnt want to spend tuesday at 9 00 talking to congress any more than we want to miss ncis new orleanss to watch him. You still got it, quantum leap. The speech is to lay out the president s agenda for the year to come to pretty much everyone in the house, the senate, the cabinet, the military, and the supreme court. And every year, almost all of them stay awake the whole time. Shh, shes sleeping. Anyway, this years speech will be obamas last before he leaves office. And then he could get back to his real passion, being Jerry Seinfelds uber driver and taking hamilton seats away from hardworking americans. Come on, mr. President , youve already seen it twice. The state of the union has evolved over the century. Early ones were written out like a tweet but with unlimited characters. But the speech didnt become a miswatch event until 1965 when president johnson delivers the firstever prime Time Television address. For a second century, we labor to establish a unity of purpose and entry. May seem boring but remember back then most people entertain themselves watching metal fall downstairs, or just do whatever the hell this thing is. Since then the state of the unions gotten more interesting. From the president s grand ent rance to everyone man handle the guy on his way out. Hes married, seriously, congress. Keep those panties on. Plus face thyme for the House Speaker and Vice President , right, Speaker Boehner . Dont do it, dont cry. But despite their mit kal differences, there is one thing all president s can agree on. The state of our union is strong. The state of our union is strong. The state of our union is strong. Sound and strong. Strong. The state of the union is not good. You know, trevor, when america asks you if it looks fat in its jeans, its not really looking for an honest answer. Just say america has a bangin ass and be done with it, trevor . Trevor thank you, roy. And what can we expect from this years speech . Well, the rumor is that this year is going to be a little different, more of a preview of the exhibits in the obama president ial library, the Affordable Care act, the Climate Change deal, how he caught not one but two portuguese water dogs to fist bump. But what i do know for sure about this years speech, obama has no more [bleep] to give. Just look at this actual picture. He tweeted out last week. Look at this picture. Look at his face. He does not care. applause hes done. Trevor, thats the same face i make when im about to leave my job. Im in the mirror like [bleep] im done. Im just. Trevor roy wood, jr. , everyone, well be right back. Thank you, all. Where were you born . Its a question asked all the time. Because where youre from shapes who you are. Inspires how you do things. And when that inspiration comes from a place this refreshing. This majestic. This. Well, you get the idea. Coors light. Born in the rockies. Rootmetrics, in the nations largest independent study, tested wireless performance across the country. Verizon won big with one hundred fifty three state wins. At t got thirtyeight, sprint got two, and t mobile got zero. Verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. At t got text. Stuck on an average network . Join verizon and well cover your costs to switch. Doh no, ill take you up to me othe front of the school. Thats where your friends are. Seriously, its, its really fine. You dont want to be seen with your dad . No, its. No. This about a boy . Dad stop, please. O, theres tracy. [ horn honks ] what [ beeps, tires screech ] bye dad it brakes when you dont. Forward collision warning and autonomous emergency braking. Available on the newly redesigned passat. From volkswagen. Im a photographer. And a conservationist. Which means that a picture can be worth an entire species. Its a lot of responsibility. So i only bring things that i know i can depend on. Because i know im only going to get one shot at this. If im lucky, one shot will be enough. For rewards. For the services and protections of membership. For the journey. Carry the American Express premier rewards gold card. Hey coworkers. Its me, and not colonel sanders. Dont you just hate those long days when youre so busy doing business things that you cant make a hot, homecooked meal for the family. Well, i just picked up a twenty Dollar Family fill up from kfc. Handbreaded with eleven herbs and spices. Do you even work here . Well of course i do, terry. Lisa. Claire. Tiffany. Hazel. Its Finger Lickin good. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome back. My guest tonight is a comedian whos show at the cherry lane theat certificate called colin quinn, the new york story. His web series is called cop show. Cut. Okay, cut, colin, what is wrong . Exactly . The scene needs something. No, i dont think it does. What am i missing you need an obstacle. How about a cold. A cold. Get sick. No, it wont be distracting at all. Were going to find him. You know, he doesnt really sorry, but do you have a cold . Cut, steve, dnt improv off what he is doing. Trevor please welcome colin quinn cheers and applause hi, folks. Trevor mr. Klin quinn. Yes, thank you, trevor. Trevor you are the new yorkiest thing i have ever come across in my life. Yes. Trevor you really are. I met you when i first came to new york city. And i remember thinking when i met you, i was like, this man is new york. I remember thinking this man is joe hans burg johannesburg. Trevor thank you so much for coming to the show. It is great to have you here. You lost your voice this weekend. You may not have made it today. I did i went to the doctor and got a shot today for the show, so if i die, its on your head. Trevor i dont think thats fair. You got the shot. I didnt say it was fair. Im just saying, that is how it is. Trevor did your voice go during the show or one of those. During the show i did the show like, this two shows, im surprised people didnt just walk out and start swinging at me. But they sat through it, you know. Trevor did they laugh. They laughed but it was still weird talking like im not exaggerating. Trevor where did you put the mic. It is a body mic. Trevor youre doing. A body mic. Trevor im in the used to, i dont know what to do with my hands sometimes. On i a stage, im like wheres the mic. Always . Trevor my hands, this is what happens to me. But you do such good would want to free your hands. Trevor all my characters have mics. I guess so. Trevor thats you are also, are you doing the one man show and it is directed by jerry seinfeld. Yes. Trevor how on earth do you get that to happen . Just, you know, we eat breakfast all the time so it is just kind of like a subtle kind of huh, man, i cant get this show, nobody will produce. I got a good show but i cant do nothing, jerry. I dont know what to tell you. Well, i could step. Jerry, no, you all right. If i could just throw your name around a little jerry, you show up for a few weeks, no big deal. Trevor and thats seriously how you got him to. No, he volunteers every time, yeah. Jerry loves me. What . Trevor it all fascinates me. Im trying to figure out how he directs you. Like you and jerry seem so different in your stiels of comedy. Thats what is good about him. Hes bossy, you know what i mean . Hes very hes very very prime, he is kind of looks good in a suit, very organized, you know what i mean. Very severe, you have a severe side. Trevor you said nothing, you realized that. You started a sentence four times, he is very hes very you know the way is he like you, hes very you said nothing. I said severe at the end. Trevor you said severe at the en. I was proud of myself that i actually got severe. The crowd is going along about it, and you had to throw it in my face. I come out after a shot. Im off in the outer space. Im honestly fur yus right now. laughter . Trevor lets talk about the web series. Cops. I watched the show when it first came out because Keith Robinson also stars in it. Yeah. Trevor i will try to edit that out. I think he watches the show, that will hurt his feelings. Why a web series, is that like just cuz its the rage now . Well i guess thats one way of spinning it. Because yeah, i mean we just well, we try to bring it out to everybody. Trevor yeah. And slowly maybe it will be this. Maybe it will be basic cable. Maybe it will be a web series. And then nobody coughs up money. The l studio lexus put up money because a web series, obviously its the new rage but at the same time, if i came to you and said would you do my web series, you would be horrified because there is no money. There is no service to the actual shoot, its a web series. Trevor i didnt know there was car service before i came to america. I was thats how we got to our shoarks you just get there. You got there yourself. Trevor if you asked me, i would have come to your show. Nice. Trevor you look like a rel cop in the show, by the way. Oh, thanks. Trevor do you think if you werent a comic you would have been a cop. I took the police test, i got a 96 and they never called me. Trevor because they dont like high scores what happened . I think its because well, if you are get too high of a score you would not follow the rules, true. But also i think they knew it would go to your block where you grew up and ask, ring the neighbors bell and ask what do you think of this guy. And apparently i didnt get very high scores there. laughter . Trevor im picturing what people were saying about you that the police refused to ask you. Im glad i dont know. Trevor you seem like you have that cop vibe to you. I got a 96, yeah. Trevor well, i dont know. Im irish, irish people should be cops. Because we believe in punishment. We believe in original sin. Trevor i dont even know how to process this information right now. Well, we have like, you are supposed to have kind of a good cop which people dont like to admit, of course, should have the combination of the listening skills of a good bartender and unpredictable violence of a nu n. And i think that laughter irish people, Catholic School is the police academy, basically, is what im saying. Trevor you talk about this in your show. Sure, about the irish, everybody in my show. Trevor i love listening to you talk about new york, colin quinn. I will come and watch the show. Thank you, yeah. Trevor i really will. I hope everyone watching the show will, you guys will as well. cheers and applause cop shoarks season one is available now on l studio. Com. Season two becomes available on february 2nd. Colin quinn, new york story is playing at the cherry lane theater here in new york through january 309. Colin quinn, everybody. cheers and applause why blend in with the crowd . Why shy away from the extraordinary . Why fit in, when you were born to stand out . The 2016 Nissan Altima has arrived. So, youre saying we cant use sorry sir its hotel policy. L . Is it really hotel policy . Im afraid so sir. Do it. How about now . I deserve this. You deserve to be fired. Four flavors, four shapes, cheetos mix ups. Definitely not colonel sanders. College student and so i really enjoy a great lunch like this kfc 5 fill up with delicious one hundred percent white meat popcorn chicken and all the fixings. Its Finger Lickin good. Not much has changed. Except now you can say. Hey siri. Hey siri. Hey siri. Which changes how you get in touch. Call sophie. How you get answers. Penelope cruz who was the Prime Minister of britain in 1868 . The answer is benjamin disraeli. Of course. Oh, you knew that. Find me a very expensive. Coffee shop with outdoor seating. And dancing. You can do almost anything, just with your voice. Play the number one song from 1979. So yeah, thats whats changed. cheers and applause . Trevor thats our show, everybody. Tomorrow night we will be live tweeting the state of the union. So follow us on twitter at the daily show to check it out starting at 9 p. M. Eastern. Before we get into our zone, though, i guess everybody heard the news and it hit us all in different ways. So in remembrance, and i guess to celebrate the man, david bowie, here it is. Your moment of zen. The other thing i would say is that if you feel safe in the area that you are working in, youre not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you are kanl of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth. And when you dont feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you are just about in the right place to do something exciting. Larry tonightly, notorious drug lord el chapo has finally been captured by mexican authorities. In a related story, Manitowoc County is charging Stephen Avery with all of el chapos crimes. laughter you people have watched the show, okay. Mexican Authorities Say sean penns Rolling Stone interview with el chapo led to his arrest. Unfortunately, sean penn is still at large. laughter
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