cheers and applause thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report. Good to see you be everybody, good to have you with us. Stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, steveen, stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, good to have you with us. In here, out there, all around the world, stuff. You watch the show. I certainly hope that you do. Because you one thing i said over and over again is that i love West Virginia. It is my favorite of the directional virginias. Step it up, eastern south. Thats right, folks. I was so concerned when the liberal media made a big stink out of a merely large stink. Jim . Some 300,000 people in West Virginia are facing now a fifth day without tap water after a Chemical Spill contaminated their water supply. The only appropriate use is toilet flushing. So flushing your commode would be appropriate but dont make baby formula with it, dont brush your teeth with it, dont wash with it, dont shower with it. A group of West Virginiaians whont who cant shower, brush their teeth or feed their babies, youve got your next hit. Folks, the leaks toxin is something called 4 4methylcyclohexane methanol which is used to wash coal before it goes to market in something called the froth flotation process and causes nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. So whether you are a lump of coal or a human, expect some froth flotation. laughter now the chemical came from a Storage Facility run by something called freedom industries. To West Virginiaians, if youve got uncontrollable vomiting and diarrhea, let freedom rain. cheers and applause now the liberals dont poison the river crowd has demonized this Patriotic Company but their c. E. O. Gary southern reassured locals that all is fine in his distinctive southern accent. We have mitigatedded risk, we believe. Of material leaving the facility and our mission now is to clean up, thank you very much. laughter stephen well, that hits the spot. Explaining why 300,000 people no longer have a water supply is thirsty work. laughter i dont see what people are worried about. 4methyl cyclo hexane methanol should be very popular in West Virginia, for petes sake its got two meths in there. Besides i have it on Good Authority that it is perfectly safe. The chemical has a very, very low toxicity. It has no effect on aquatic life so there is no danger to fish in the river. Stephen see, low toxicity, zero danger to fish in the river, which should be a relief to West Virginiaians who have now developed ills. Besides, i think we all know the science isnt in on whether human beings need water to survive. There are plenty of other options. For instance what about saliva. Im drinking it right now. Yes, its a little bland but i find, i find i just take a Little Country time lemonade laughter cheers and applause i just put a pinch between my cheek and gums and i got zesty refreshment without being a slave to big cats. What is that taste. Its got 4 methtyl cyclo hexane methanol. Hmmmm, thats what micks it country. laughter speaking of waterless mountain regions, afghanistan. laughter in the last week the obama has been rocked by defense secretary robert gatess explosive new memoir available where of course they are free. Now the book, the book takes dead aim, the book takes dead aim at the president s handling of the afghan war. According to his own defense secretary, quote, president obama was skeptical, if not outright convinced at his own strategy in afghanistan would fail. Folksing i got to say its shocking to hear that obama has a strategy in afghanistan. Sure seems like hes free balling it. But folks, im going to make some headlines right now. I want to defend the president s policy in afghanistan by saying its not nearly as bad as his policy in iraq because while obama twid els his thumb iraq is fall approximating into a state of crippling violence that can only be described as a rock, jim. Al qaeda extremists making serious gains in iraqs Anbar Province where hundreds of american troops were killed or wounded fighting jihadies in the last decade. Two cities in particular, fallujah and ramadi now seeing some of the worst fighting since the iraq war. I cannot believe president obama has given up on iraq, cities we care some of about like fallujah an and help me out, ramada s that it . Yes, im not surprised. I mean foam pillows that is enough to make anyone strap on a suicide vest. Nation, weve had two wars since 9 11 and obama has refused to launch either one of them. Luckily, its not too late for victory which brings us to tonights word. Folks, our president is the john mayer of war. He never commits and after he leaves you get a violent flare up in your tribal region. Which, which is exactly what is happening in iraq. His abandonment of iraq lead directly to al qaeda taking over al qaeda now controls what we fought so hard to free. Precious blood was spilled and National Treasure was expended. Helping iraqis remove a brutal dictator. That progress is now threatened. Black flags of al qaeda are flying and thats a complete withdrawal and you may see the same result in afghanistan as we are seeing in iraq. Stephen well said, senator mccain. If we leave afghanistan that place could sink into wartorn cay owes, right now it is merely bullet riddled an arceer. So al qaeda keep this in mind, and this is important, folks, al qaeda wouldnt have come back if the president hadnt abandoned iraq after a mere eight years. I mean i for one, i for one was shocked, shocked that obama flew to baghdad to set a withdrawal date back in 2008 and even more shocked that he did it wearing a president bush mask. I mean the guy, the guy is a quitter. If obama laughter stephen if obama had been around during the 100 years war it would have been 50 years tops. Well, i say if iraq if iraq is in chaos because we withdrew our troops then the obvious solution is to send our troops back in. Right, senator mccain. First of all, no combat troops, obviously. Lets get that out of the way. I would suggest perhaps sending David Petraeus and ambassador crocker back over there. Stephen okay, yeah, David Petraeus could fix this thing if you just gave him a tank on the battlefield. Now obama laughter i think obama must do this. Ladies and gentlemen, it is important obama has to do this because once youve been at war in a place, you are always responsible for anything that ever happened there. That is why and ive said this before, that is why you must never end wars. Think about this. If you think about it, theyre never, ever would have been a world war ii if we hadnt stopped fighting world war i. Thats just math. Or are you a a fan of hitler, president wilson. Or take that, or take that pussy napoleon, he retreats from moscow, pretty soon rasputin, the commies move in, crush chef bangs his shoes, the next thing you know putin is topless and johnny weir cant go to the olympics. And soon whats happening i ware this is going to happen what is happening in iraq will happen in afghanistan. And theres only one person to blame for that, alexander the great. In 323 he cuts and runs and a thousand years later islam is founded boom, muslim extremists. I am going to say t im going to say it, macedonias best years are behind it. To make certain that this sort of thing never happens again, president o bamenta needs to send troops anyplace we dont want bad things to happen to good people. That is why laughter i am calling for a surge into the unstable region of everywhere. Ofcourse im not suggesting anything permanent. Our prepare troops will leave the moment they anyone will hurt each other after that. We will rake the seas, imprison the wind and count every star. Anything is possible. Now, will it be easy laughter stephen no, it wont be easy. But once were fighting in every country on earth, at least we can never be drawn into another war. And thats the word. Well be right back. 7 rjrj welcome back, everybody, thank you so much. Folks, you know this show that youre watching right now, its paid for, this show is paid for by those ads that you just wachld. And thats a problem because nobody watches ads any more except people still trying to figure out if flo lives in heaven, the south pole or some kind of insuranceinduced coma. Thats why these Days Companies often pay to work their products right into the show itself. Its called Product Placement. And now a new cop called mirriad is promising to take Product Placement to the next level as roger faxon, the chairman and man whose name sounds more corporate than his company explained on the fox business. What mirriad has done is to find a way to bring brands and great content together, by creating a logical and seamless integration of brands into great content. Advertising is the crit critical ingredient in bringing great content to consumers. Stephen thats right, advertising is the critical ingredient in great content which is why hbo has never produced anything worth watching. Even they admit its not tv. Mirriad makes great con at any time possible by retroactively inserting brands into reruns. Just look how they have taken this old episode of usas white collar and turned a nondescript building into a Subway Sandwich shop this is a whole new plot twist. Did someone kidnap or did he just get lost inside his old pants. Well, nation, im excited to learn that my Parent Company viacom is now a mirriad client which means soon, yeah, go ahead. cheers and applause these people get it. Theyre as excited as i am that they could soon be inserting advertising into my old shows and increase my profits and i mean, enhance the critical ingredients of bringing great content tenfold. Well, folks, i want to make it easy by providing plenty of blank surfaces to the content enhanced. Wait, what is this . Hmmmm, oh, hmmmm, hmmmm, oh. Oh. applause oh. This sure is refreshing intoxicating and or muscle mass building. laughter stephen especially after i start my day with a big bowl of these things. Oh, there it. Hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. Oh, with a generous serving of this, there you go. Hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. You know what . Theyll digitally insert me enjoying this a little later and i dont want to brag but i got one of these isnt this thing awesome . I mean how did they make it so much smaller or larger than the last version. I mean who, who, who needs this old thing any more. And folks, thoseofus who create the shows wont even feel the inserted advertising. I mean theyll just slip it in. For instance, i mean, what could this be . cheers and applause stephen i mean, i dont i dont think you feel this. I wouldnt mind this being jammed into my show. I mean it could be anything. An electric razor. It could be a telescope or maybe just maybe its a delicious subway foot long. Eat fresh. Well be right back. cheersplauseapplause d tonight front line travels to new york city while thousands of manhattan residents go innocently about their daily lives. On west 54th street awardwinning talk show Host Stephen Colbert faces the biggest challenge of his career. Stephen my guest tonight produces hard hitting Investigative Journalism for pbs. An interview with frontline executive producer david fanning. Stephen ill ask what it is like to work with famed pbs reporter kermit t frog. Please welcome david fanning. Its a conversation colbert has been preparing for since 4 00. cheers and applause his cameras were there, tonight on frontline, colbert versus fanning. Stephen david, thank you so much for joining me. I have wanted to have you on for a long time just to tear you a new one. Okay. Youre the eck difficult producer of frontline. Which is if im not mistaken the last news or documentary program that does long form Investigative Journalism. Left on television. Stephen left on television. Neffs given up. Stephen why not throw in the towel, youre the last of the mohicans. Why dow keep going . It matters. Stephen why does it matter. Does it make money. Does it mick money . It. Stephen does make money. It doesnt make money. Stephen the market has spoken. The market has spoken. Youre the last dodo. Well, yeah, but i think we need to be in business. I think we need to be in the business in this complicated world and i think we do it because we can take the time to do it. We can do it in some complexity. We can do it in a way that news and journalism doesnt do it any more. The networks have given up on this kind of journalism. Stephen the mere fact that you take a long time to do it shows that you are not doing it well. The market for Good Journalism has taken a very complicated subject and being able to boil it down into a single gesture and one shouted phrase. 15 seconds i believe. Stephen well if you let your guests talk for more than 7 seconds at a time youve lost control of your show. A great man once said that, you know who said that. I did. Stephen you did. So but okay well, what is the latest thing. What do you have coming up, the most complicated thing. North korea. Stephen okay. Thats pretty interesting. Stephen thanks, obamacare. Okay. Stephen right . Theres nothing so complicated you cant shout thanks obamacare. Okay, that does it. Stephen and reach an audience with that. Last year you guys did a hit job on my buddy down on wall street about people not going to jail. Right. Stephen or being prosecuted for what is going on on wall street. What effect did that have . Well, we have the Criminal Division at the Justice Department resigned a few days later. And we heard that there was a great flurry of activity in the Justice Department against wall street executives. Stephen so it may have had an effect. Maybe we had the beast blink, maybe we did something. Stephen then why are you sponsored by Goldman Sachs . I am embarrassed by that. I am embarrassed by that. That is on the pbs web site. They decided to put an ad on the video. And. Stephen when you had that, did it ever feel like you holding a green screen dildo. It doesnt, no. Stephen it doesnt. It doesnt. Stephen just curious. Just curious. Okay. Do you ever lie in bed though some nights and think im the only one who does this, maybe my show sucks but i have nothing to compare it to within this is true. Stephen its like being a runner. All those awards. Stephen your awards. You won 65 emmies, of 15 pe does bodies and the stanley cup for journalism. applause stephen does this happen to you, does this happen to you. Do you train up like great reporters and they leave and take the skills this they learn on front line so they can make cash with it. They come to us. They want to leave the networks. They want to come and work at frontline. Stephen what do you think happened at 60 mins. They used to be the other one, front line and 60 minutes, 60 minutes has age on egg on their face. Any advice for them . Pay attention. Make it better. Stephen let me write that down. Pay attention. And make it better. Yeah. Stephen okay. David fanning, thank you so much for joining me. cheers and applause Stephen David fanning, front line. Well be right back. Xrx8 captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org chris its 11 59. This happened on gawker today. This is an actual graphic shown during eves Golden Globes red carpet broadcast. It says fun fact michael j. Fox was diagnosed with parkinsons in 1991. audience reacts