cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, good to have you with us. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. audience chanting stephen ladies and gentlemen, folks, if you watch the show and i hope you do do you know that we at the report are laser focused on the truth. And that means obsessive fact checking. We check every episode and if we find a fact, we replace it with the truth. laughter unfortunately, folks, not all news organizations out there are up to our standards. There is a scandal tearing apart cbs news, home of edward r. Murrow, Walter Cronkite and julie chen. laughter seen here reporting on the pirates of penzance. laughter you see, two weeks ago, cbs news the 60 minutes took time off from doing indepth buddy curls with wolverine to blow the lid off benghazigate. When the attacks in libya occurred, 60 minutes was on the scene within minutes of 13 months later. laughter of course, fox news has been working this story for a year, having definitively proven that tragedy something something something Hillary Clinton. laughter the one thing they did not have, the one thing they lacked was an eyewitness. Well, two weeks ago, the 60 minutes interviewed security contractor morgan jones. Morgan jones job was training the unarmed guards who manned the compounds gates. A second libyan force, an armed militia hired by the state department, was supposed to defend the compound in the event of an attack. I was saying these guys are no good, you need to get them out of here. You also kept saying if this place is attacked these guys are not going to stand and fight. Yeah, i used to say it all the time. In the end i got quite bored of hearing my own voice saying it. Stephen damning testimony from the hero who was there the night of the attack. Morgan jones scaled the 12foothigh wall of the compound that was still overrun with al qaeda fighters. One guy saw me. He he just shouted i couldnt believe hed soon me because it was so dark. He started walking towards me. And as he was coming closer as i got closer i just hit him with the butt of the rifle in the face. And . He went down. Stephen folks, what more is there to say than benghazi, benghazi, benghazi cheers and applause and im not the only one Mainstream Media outrage over the benghazi terror attacks but its certainly not new for you out there, our viewers, because the wrenching report on 60 minutes last night was filled with information fox uncovered months ago. I think its great Mainstream Media is finally catching up. Cbs did this story on benghazi and i see criticism from the left where they go you guys are covering a phony scandal. 60 minutes doesnt cover phony scandals. Stephen yes, another network covered it. Thats how you foe fox news reporting is accurate. laughter its just like their motto we report, but you should really check with someone else. laughter and applause also, cbs should have checked with someone else because morgan jones story turned out to be totally fake. Including his name, which is not morgan jones but dylan davies, which actually sounds even more fake. laughter in fact, in his incident report to his employer davies wrote he spent most of the night at his benghazi beach side villa nowhere near the embassy. Evidently the guy he hit in the face with the butt of his rifle that night was a cab that boy. laughter and, god, i hope it was his rifle. cheers and applause now cbs knew davies had lied to his employer but believed the heroic version he told them because their sources led them to believe that davies f. B. I. Report was in sync with what he told 60 minutes. Or he might have told the f. B. I. That he was the lead singer of n sync. Its not clear. laughter because later the New York Times checked with the f. B. I. And davies f. B. I. Testimony is not what he told 60 minutes. So cbs news quickly checked its own f. B. I. Sources and learned what mr. Davies told the f. B. I. Differd from what he told us. So cbs fact checked the story but when it turned out to be wrong they fact checked it for reals, yall laughter and on last night the 60 minutes, lara logan addressed the controversy head on at the very top of the last minute of the show. laughter we end our broadcast tonight with a correction on a story we reported october 27. We realized we had been misled and it was a mistake to include him in our report. For that, we are very sorry. The most important thing to every person at 60 minutes is the truth and the truth is we made a mistake. Stephen folks, im not buying this. Cbs is good at journalism. Theres only one logical explanation for what really happened here. Hillary clinton got to them laughter you see, folks, as you well know but i will repeat as often as possible, Hillary Clinton was secretary of state during the benghazi attacks i mean, thats her official photo. laughter ergo, quid pro quo, am bus brief, she is to blame. And now n. O. W. Shes so hungry for power in 2016 that shes somehow convinced 60 minutes to air this false benghazi apology to discredit their investigation and we here at the the colbert report have now found an eyewitness with startling new details concerning the night of the tragic cbs benghazi apology. Jim . I understand you were a College Intern at 60 minutes. laughter yes. laughter stephen and for your own safety, are you using an alias tonight . What is that . Poncho denews. laughter . Stephen now, poncho, you were interning the night all hell broke loose at 60 minutes. Yes, stephen, i was definitely there that night because im an actual human witness. laughter . Stephen tell us what happened, pancho. Well, i was coming back from getting chewing tobacco for for lesley stahl when i heard explosions of shouting. Stephen what did you do next . I ran towards it. I scaled the 30foot wall surrounding the newsroom. laughter once i landed, a shadowy figure ran towards me so i knocked him out with the butt of my harpoon gun. laughter . Stephen who was that . Turns out it was morley safer. laughter but then i turned around and i saw and i saw stephen who did you see . It was Hillary Clinton. laughter she was swinging a bike chain and yelling were here to kill the story who wants to eat some chain . laughter applause then she pistol whipped morley safer. laughter which was cruel since he was already unconscious. Stephen so it was Hillary Clinton who made cbs apologize . Yes stephen i knew it anything else . Yeah, stephen, i have one more exclusive. Im not really 60 minutes intern poncho denews. Im Charlie Skinner of atlantis cable news channel as profiled in the hbo documentary the news. laughter cheers and applause stephen what . Where did that College Intern go . There was never any intern, stephen i did it to prove a point that as journalists we are the gatekeepers of truth we separate right from wrong; fact from fiction, delicate from Permanent Press i recall a man who said with great power comes great responsibility. That man was spidermans uncle. laughter and now hes dead the public needs us to be the watchdogs of democracy. We have a responsibility to criticize our leaders without a proefp, report National Secrets without fear of imprisonment. If we violate this contact, this public trust stephen how much longer . Almost done. Then we will have a puppet press ofs here, innuendo, hyperbole and nonsense. Dingdong, who is it . Its dominoes but more importantly its the throat delivered hot and crusty or your money back thats the guarantee we make america every night otherwise the world is just crazy bread. laughter stephen technically, crazy brett is little cesars. Its called poetic license, goddamnit stephen youre right, the newsrooms Charlie Skinner. Now, if youll excuse me, theres something i have to do. We end our this part of the show with a correction. In our report tonight, a man named poncho denews claimed he was a 60 minutes intern and we believed him because he had an i. D. Lanyard. laughter following the report, the washington post, the New York Times, and the tv guide all reported that he was actually the actor Sam Waterston star of the plastic dome of norma jean. cheers and applause look it up. Look it up. We checked with our sources at imdb and it turns out we made a mistake. We should not have used him in our report and for that were very sorry. The most important thing to everyone here at the the colbert report is the truth, and the truth is, its somebody elses fault. laughter well be right back. cheers and applause cheers and applause . Stephen welcome back, everybody thanks so much, folks. You know as a veteran political journalist i have covered every big contest in the last 15 years. Bush v. Gore, bush v. Kerry, kerry v. Predator. laughter but as much as i love the political horse race, i am disgusted with my colleagues on the sunday shows. The last president ial election was only a year ago. I cant believe the media is wasting its time speculating on 2016 frontrunners. And neither condition k the 2016 frontrunner. Chris christie appeared on all four sunday shows to talk about how much he didnt want to talk about the president ial race. Race. Laugh. Governor, how interested are you in running for president in 2016 . Well, chris, what im interested in doing is being the governor of new jersey. What im focused on is doing my job in the state of new jersey. Im the governor of new jersey. For me, im the governor of new jersey and my job is to run the state of new jersey. Stephen yes, hes just the governor of new jersey. Thats why he went on meet the jersey fox news jersey sunday face the turnpike and this new jersey with new jersey new jerseyopolis. laughter and i admire how despite all the speculation, christie stays humble about his future by bragging only about his past. On governing its about doing things, accomplishing things, reaching across the aisle and crafting accomplishments. You know, 143, now new private sectors jobs. 143,000 new private sector jobs. 143,000 new private sector jobs. 143000 new private sector jobs. 1423,000 new private sector jobs. 143,000 new private sector jobs. laughter . Stephen wow 143,000 times seven mentions on t. V. Equals laughter laughter cheers and applause not running for president. Frankly, i dont know why these sunday shows wont just leave Chris Christie alone i mean, the man has got to focus on governing new jersey with michael j. Fox and jimmy fallon i just hope he has time to record his not running for president robocalls. Hi, this is Chris Christie. Im not running for anything, im focused on being governor of new jersey. Stop calling me i dont want to play these sorts of beltway games. Speaking of which, boy, somebody needs to change the culture of d. C. Christie, 2016. Two completely unrelated words. 143,000 jobs. cheers and applause . Stephen okay, cable news . You got the message . I just hope he doesnt have to say that again. But if he does, hes available next sunday. Well be right back. Rs andeers and cheers and applause . Stephen welcome back, everybody. Please welcome peter baker. cheers and applause hey, peter, nice to have you on. Mr. Baker, sir, you are the chief White House Correspondent for the New York Times. Yeah. Stephen did you have to shift gears between the Bush Administration and the Obama Administration . Because you guys were so tough on bush and so in love with obama. laughter right. Thats not what president obama would say. They dont seem to think were very easy on him. But, look, we cover all president it is same way. We try to be tough but fair and try to find out whats going on. Lets find out how tough and fair you are because you have a new book called days of fire bush and cheney in the white house. Okay, um, im going to draw a line right now, okay . I love this man. I love president bush. If i read your book and no promises if i read your book will i like him more or less . I think youd like president bush. I think if you dont like him youll see things in there that feed the argument. Stephen so its a book trying to please everyone . Trying to find a laughter . Trying to be a neutral book about two guys nobody feels neutral about so its a challenge. Because people dont feel neutral about these two guys. Do we have a picture of these two guys on the cover there . Theres bush and cheney. Do they walk around washington like this . cheers and applause is that an actual photo . Thats an actual photo. That was a day that bush put cheney on the ticket. Time magazine took that picture but didnt lose. This was an actual photo . Yeah stephen this is like bush saying youre going to want to deal with me, okay . This is good cop, robocop. Okay, so was he a good president , bottom line . Well start with the bottom line and work up. Definitely top 50. laughter he did a lot of things that people today appreciate, including democrats. He head the pet far program on aids in africa. Medicare part d that pays for Prescription Drug care. Obviously iraq sucks a lot of the option out of the room. Stephen im glad you finished that sentence. laughter was he in charge . Because the line on these two was that cheney was calling the shots and that my man bush was just a puppet. I think thats the surprising thing you learn from this book is in fact the relationship is much more complicated than that. Cheney was very influential in the beginning but as the term went on the two of them diverged and went in different directions. By the end they were on opposite sides of most of the issues then they had a big fight at the end. Stephen they grew apart . They were ons on it is sides of iran, north korea, syria, russia, Climate Change, gun rights, the auto bailout. Stephen wait, they were on the opposite sides . So bush was on one side and cheney was on the other about Climate Change and gun rights and when did bush was bush gagged . Why laughter . Why did i not hear anything that i didnt like from bush. Bush won those fights. Stephen he did . Where was the gun control bush instituted . He didnt do gun control but on the Second Amendment case before the Supreme Court the administration put in a middle oftheroad brief that cheney didnt like. He signed on to a different brief saying the Second Amendment protects the rights to guns and the chief of staff josh bolton went to cheneys chief of staff and said you cant do this anymore. He said, look, khaeubny is the president of the senate and he said if you do that, take your stuff and go up to the hill and work out of there instead of the white house. Stephen is that what happened . He did not. In the end he let him stay. Stephen theres the door, dont let it hit you where the good lord split you. laughter were they ever friends . They were never friends. I asked jimmy about it. He said they were never buddies. Stephen thats heartbreaking thats like finding out batman and robin werent gay. laughter and applause did they actually fight about anything . They did by the end. Especially over scooter libby. Scooter libby was chief of staff to the Vice President. He got convicted in the c. I. A. Leak case. Cheney thought it was a bogus prosecution. Bush said cheney said i think you should pardon him. Bush said no. Cheney said youre leaving a good man on the field of battle. On the Inauguration Day its just bush and obama in the car he says whatever you do, set a pardon policy early and stick to it. Learn how to say no to your Vice President. The Vice President was a hard guy to say no to because he shot people in the face. laughter yes, but bush did it. Stephen i understand that caused friction between two t of two of them when cheney shot a man in the face. laughter it was a mistake. Why was that a problem for the president . They were upset that the Vice President didnt put this out at first, didnt disclose it. Laura bush heard about it the Vice President didnt have a press conference and go surprise, i shot someone in the face . Even laura bush was jun upse. She heard about it from her secret service agents. Caused more frictions between two sides. Stephen did cheney ever cheney never apologized for shooting everyone in the face. He did. He went on brit hume, eventually. The president stephen he shot the president in the face. He did not shoot the president in the face. Stephen i thought the other guy apologized for getting his face in the way of cheneys gun. He did. He was very gracious about it. Stephen that was nice. Im not sure build that gracious with my face. Peter baker days of fire. Well be right back. Thank you so much. cheerslause pplause cheers and applause . Stephen thats it for the
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