adviser. i had been trying to resign, actually, for the past six, seven months, and she'd always talked me out of it. you know, asked me to stay strong. i actually had a resignation letter in a folder with no date for the last four months of the administration, that i just wanted to hand over if necessary. it was that bad for me. >> you talk over and over about botched attempts to leave. >> correct. >> you talk about the abusive environment. look, there's a lot of -- you mentioned this idea of destroying people. you say in your book that you were a destroyer. you were on the other side of this. >> mm-hmm. >> you do talk a lot about this in very clear terms, that you think this was an abusive environment. >> mm-hmm. >> i wonder -- and you also talk about having a background in that. so knowing that that mirrors some of your past experiences as well. can you tell us more about that and what it took to recover from that, if you have? >> i haven't yet. yes, i think, you know, when i
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