As always I hope you're dancing or singing or standing on a chair or even on a table if you have to because I know it's theirs day and it's only 10 pounds too but I still think it's acceptable to stand on a chair or table and done at any point in time hello just listen if you're here with me salmonella Dani covering for Joe good and I have our next guest in the studio who when I found out was on the show I've been excited about this all week because you know me all now well enough to know that anything to do with female empowerment of feminism or women or anything I am very excited to talk to and to talk about so please welcome to the studio Deborah. Deborah you are the author of outspoken 50 speeches by incredible women you help me a little bit about why you decided to bring this but rather well because I couldn't find the book so fast couldn't find it that seems like a good reason to write it yet about 10 years ago. I began researching women speeches because I could any think of one women soundbite that I knew off by heart and that was the lady's not for turning and I literally didn't. Any others and I thought women must have been doing amazing speeches they must be out there and I found one Burke and it was a very academic Burkett's not the kind of book that unless you're super into academia history. That you're ever going to pick up so. Yeah I went about exploring speeches and trying to put something to together that even people like myself who are not that into history but. Will really enjoy and get something from something a bit more mainstream everything in Access right and then this book you have speeches from you've got Joan of Arc and you've got over Winfrey you've got Queen Elizabeth the fairest Grettir thumb you've got so many women from so many different eras in history how do you even begin to pick which ones you want to include Maje that would be so difficult Well I think 1st of all I knew that I wanted a really diverse group of women I wanted to hear what a lot of different women thought even women I disagree with yeah so I didn't want to be a lie Ok because that person's from that political party I'm not going to include them or because that person thinks that they don't stand a chance it was all about what what has women's thought leadership being like and that we don't necessarily have our fingertips or ringing in our heads because we haven't been taught it. And and how could I do womanhood just a little bit of justice and this is what I came up with but it could have been any number of different combinations of people but we've got 50 women and then some bonus quotes as well on top of that yeah you do and kind to say this actual book is a gorgeous book the colors on the floor and it just looks so lovely for listeners Obviously you can't see this but I mean you have a little googling so you can preen it. But it is gorgeous blue and orange a color and it's a lovely hardback and it's a lovely size and I'm big on the way books look and yeah in your hand Yeah absolutely and this is just a really gorgeous book it's a nice gift but you. I was going to say it's a good stocking. Just in time for Christmas. Listen putting this together and kind of writing your own intro to this and you kind of have your own bits at the beginning of the speech was there anything that kind of bubbled up the that you lived or found or discovered about yourself or the work while you were doing it I think just you know I've always thought myself as quite an outspoken person through reading a lot of speeches particularly the 1st chapter which is all about just saying what you think you know every day free speech as I mention in the book like just saying no I don't want to go and watch Avengers have a film yes I would like a pay rise or you know just saying the things that you actually want and I began to realize actually I don't always say what I want I'm not outspoken as I think I am and what I hope is. Through the book people who read it not only do we give tips at the end of how to be more outspoken but there's a lot of inspiration for saying what you really think and I think that's really important because we get scared of him really you know in situations where it's really important we say what we want in fact if we don't say what we want people can't help us yeah the life that we that we deserve right and I think as well it's I think that's a really prevalent point because we're just not used to saying what we want as women we're not very good and also we don't always have the language to say it we don't quite know how to articulate it all the time and sometimes saying what you want is uncomfortable and it creates awkward situations and it makes everyone around you feel uncomfortable as well as you being uncomfortable and you don't always want to be the person that's causing the trouble or gets branded as a troublemaker and it's really hard and I know what I found kind of reading through it so far I haven't finished the whole thing yet but reading through it is kind of giving me inspiration in how to speak up a little bit more and again same as you the most outspoken person but I think there's still rooms for very improvement and help along the way right yeah I mean like I'm from one of the chapters talking about how I was on an easy Jet fly and there was a stag do behind my elderly parents and they were doing my head in and I just thought they were outrageously rude and abusive to you know. Forgot what they called. People and. They and I I was writing a speech in my head I'm going to I'm going to tell them what I think because I never said it and it was by holding a sneeze and a foreigner thing and. You know sometimes you need to express yourself. And I think what's important about this book as well is it shows that lots of different opinions can be held together it doesn't mean that you all have to agree to be in the same book or the same room around the same dinner table and people we the book is actually kind of an exercise in also listening or reading to things. That you don't agree with and not flying off the handle or not you know I mean we're in the middle of an election campaign there's plenty of chance for us all I'm sure to get annoyed at various things we hear we don't agree with here and there's an art to be able to listen and then be able to say what you really think yeah because I saw I was going to the book and I saw kind of a speech from Margaret Thatcher and I was like ah I'm not going to read that I thought I was like never actually you should know that that's a really good robot and we can all have different opinions on the whole space in the same way yeah. But you are right broadcaster produced. And you also found it a punk feminist performance group yeah these tell me so this is gaggle say gaggle I used to be in an indie band light years ago and you know hitting a cow bell and screaming and we had a runner up saying that we can enemy that's not bad yeah you did but then but I found the music industry to be just a little bit sexist at the time this is about 20082009 so I thought what can I do that will make a big impact quickly so I found 25 women who were you know extraordinarily ordinary ordinarily extraordinary women who you know didn't necessarily want to be famous or weren't necessarily trained singers and we created a punk from this choir and suddenly we were an enemy's future 50 we did Radio one sessions that made it we toured around Europe and I ended up doing a musical an album an opera and really we managed to take feminism to an audience you know 17 year old boys effectively like we were playing at Reading and Leeds and so that was the thing that I was most proud of is that even though we were a punk from the choir we definitely went preaching to the choir we were. Getting these ideas out there to a much broader audience and what opportunity it's often I think like you said not everyone who's run dinner table has to have the same views and opinions and often. Kind of cool re our lives so that we do right will have you or because we agree and we have the same path back as it is probably more value and doubt and being you know maybe the only conservative vote amongst a table of Lib Dems or later will do you know what I mean it there is value in that so I can imagine you are writing. That and letting all the young lads Yeah this is what's happening didn't you kind of beat Chris Brown in in one of the charts someone had this was it do you remember not do yes the knots magazine get gave us the 5 stars that fired the same way because they gave Chris Brown No stars so yeah that was a feminist high point that really even problematic past yes yeah presence felt like it was in some way payback I feel like reparations that you know and it's just balancing out the scales a little bit no that's amazing and I love I love the sound of that you have Arianna Gunday in the book oh no we don't have our young no no we wanted a grand day in the book and we want to be on site in the book and they're the only 2 people who we can get in the burgh but we could get Emma Watson and we could get credit. Because of something you put at the beginning in the intro about the Ariana Grande days or who fall you know said occasionally So this is for a group of girls who my friend's daughter and they'd all gone to my friend had taken her daughter and had 2 best mates to to watch Ariana Grande day and then we went for breakfast the next day and they were all talking about feminism because Arianna has been talking about it and they were going yeah I think feminism is a good thing but I think boys need to be included totally and I was like yes I think that was the day that I had to write my dedication so. I dedicated it to them and explain that the best boys love feminism Oh I love that saying how did that line the bad. Boys love feminism you know I want to I want to frame it and put it on my wall and maybe just random lampposts me maybe I'm actually going to send every one of my dates before I got a date with them just have it as you bumble picture oh yeah. Yeah absolutely. And the book was released this month 7th Yes this month yeah out in the world yeah I was the reception been since it's kind of gone now it's amazing I mean we were in the heat magazine this week as the gift to give to the Beyond stay in your life so I mean that. And yeah I'm just really thrilled because I love the fact that it's getting like this people in this book that people obviously people have heard of like Oprah Winfrey Michelle Obama Hillary Clinton. But then there's people like Annie Powell she was like a communist Mary Miles. You know and he sprinkle he was a performance artist who were did a performance talk or public service announcement in the early ninety's you know so there's this women and suggest the truth to Mary Seacole And you know just loads of amazing women it so it's not just the obvious people I really wanted to make sure we had voices that were unusual outsiders kind of friends outside of the mainstream so that. Yes the more people were represented Yeah because I was looking through and there's some that I don't know and I'm really looking forward to kind of hearing what they have to say and learning a little bit about them which is I think really exciting is often when you engage in conversations about feminism or gender you come across the same names don't you know over and over again yeah I mean there's more. Pankhurst in him I mean like we've covered we've covered you want to warm feminine Yes. But we also we go out a little bit broader to say that you know if you picked up the book he could start with really simple not really simple but the kind of like basics and get a really good grounding and then you could go. That's trying this little right Drange idea of a hair and see if I like that yeah I imagine people are going to pick up the book and go to the ones that are their favorites like maybe Oprah style Obama or and what's right because they're really well known and maybe you've seen them in interviews and you like yeah and then hopefully just dive deeper into Yeah into everything else it's an incredible book thank you so much for bringing it together because I can't tell you the amount of times I've seen things like love letters from great bad or speeches from men and I'm like well as everyone else one of the women who are writing and saying look it's a very important things and I think it's a very beautiful Christmas present not just the present for birthdays Yeah holidays just being always been the beyond So in my life so you know now that this book is out in the world what's the next project I'm doing a project to do with mental health so we're trying to create Well we're not trying to we're doing actually we'll be launching in the new year a show called wakey which is all about being entertained while you're improving your mental health Ok yeah fine so you get into Taman but you're also growing you are you getting happier and healthier it sounds like. You also have a show that's going of coming out in support of the book is that man that's yep yep yep that's how this all started with gaggle of the punk feminist choir I created a show that we took on talk and that was getting cast of actors reading out the speeches kind of recreating them and then you know getting special guests women in sweet got Nicholas caught claim from Terry go Charlotte Church we had Angela Scanlon see Pollard cast her as Queen Elizabeth the 1st day. And just celebrating these speeches recreating them having fun there's some really moving emotional speeches in the book and in the show as well you know this and deep subject. But yeah the show was really powerful so we just did a sold out performance so I thought it to launch the book and we're looking to do more shows in the new Yeah you know 6 I wasn't there and I'm going to need to have some kind of ticket to that bit in the new year to come along to the. Well hopefully fingers crossed you will continue and it will it will toll the world maybe. Not preaching at the choir very unlikely places where yeah I would think of going. In the book at the gorgeous I believe you can buy in every solid Sterling book shop around and don't light on a lot of people say that and say in any good book shop and all that not good bookshops or it's not available or is it just not going to fit your book isn't in that you know what I mean. But you get the book everywhere that out spoken 50 speeches by incredible women and I am kind of deep in it already and I am already enjoying it so so much thank you so much for putting it together Deborah thank you so much for coming thank you it's been lovely thank you a.b.c. Radio show you one for me if you saw most of the story for now I want to polling Calling me drunk when you Alcide a club and you're lonely. And you hate everyone in your reach. It's no fun going so . Now you wanna be friends always out on weekends and. Was a big meal but not anymore. Who can. Tell you the number. Who. Was. Feel it is not. You. Held you up when no body else. Again in. This film. 2 stuck around. You. Is this is only by Maizie Peters and you're here on b.b.c. Radio London with me sound Elwood on he's sitting in for Joe good and we have been asking you guys if you could bring back any band or any musical act who would you bring back I've just had James Tex and James has had some of there's only one the number one the Beatles James I thought I'm going to say something that's going to upset you bifocal completely fickle Beatles even existed I am the worst I just haven't even considered bringing Beatles back but yeah maybe the Beatles again not really a fan and never ever listen to their music which is again something I probably shouldn't admit on major where everyone can hear it I'm still for bringing back Queen and Abba. Michael Jackson then my people right now I'd love to know who you would bring back send me a text 81 triple 3 so your message with the London or give us a call an 807312000 that mean if you could. Back any musical act would you bring I'm struggling a little bit to kind of come up with all the musical acts I didn't even think of Queen until someone had said it out loud and I was like oh queen of course how can you forget that Queen exists that's that's poor Sam about is poor I take that myself but I am struggling to go through actually who actually existed is no longer around and all I can think of is everyone who is around but let me know I need inspiration clearly we still have so much coming up on the show we've just been talking to Deborah cotland who has published and brought together the book outspoken 50 speeches by incredible women and I'm already nearly halfway through it and I absolutely adore and it's gorgeous and I think it will make a gorgeous little present or a stocking fellow or something so do go ahead and check out and Previously we were talking to Steve actual He was telling us all about being in the Arctic he was swimming with a little while ago but also about one wild night which is happening on 30th of December and is raising money to help the rain forests and also just to help you know the world and hopefully it will stop burning because there's a little bit that I think we can all do to help out but before we do anything else we are going to go ahead and find out what's going on in the world with a little bit of news feed. From the sidelines on Wilson for a leading economic think tank has warned that neither the conservatives nor Labor are offering credible spending plans in their election manifestos the Institute for Fiscal Studies says it's highly likely the Tories would spend more than they are promising to work as Labor will struggle to deliver the increases it's committed to e.u. Net migration is at its lowest level for 16 years the difference between those arriving in the u.k. To work and leaving was an estimated 48000 in the 12 months to June the Liberal Democrat leader Joe Swenson has launched a highly personal attack on Boris Johnson a coup. Him of talking sexist patronize ing crap in a speech arguing that Mr Johnson was not fit to become prime minister miss once and criticized him for describing elite women beach volleyball players as glistening like wet offices the family of dairy road says said that the t.v. Chef died from a sub general Hema Toma or bleeding in the brain he collapsed at home after a day filming in due boy and was taken to hospital where he couldn't be resuscitated London's weather another cloudy afternoon with spells of mostly light and patchy rain or drizzle and turning colder with top temperatures of 11 degrees Celsius which is $52.00 degrees Fahrenheit now with the b.b.c. Radio London travel his public area. Thankful the m 25 can't drive is killing off to be earlier accident from 27 to 28 all lanes are back open now but congestion is back before junction 26 and the dump a timeless anticlockwise on the m $25.00 that delays are to be alley a broken down vehicle the left hand tunnel has reopened now believe the congestion back to junction for the end of the day to a fine South cyclic queuing to the traffic light failure can aid in a Canadian avenue of restrictions for main implies that Bobby McFerrin b.b.c. Radio London let's update the stuff to carry. On the Digital Radio $94.00 f.m. Band on b.b.c. Sounds is longer this is b.b.c. Radio. That's right you're here with me salmonella Donny sitting in for Joe Good who is away and so I am looking after all of you gorgeous listeners which is an absolute pleasure and I am trying to rack my brains to think about eighty's songs and eighty's music and the only thing that keeps coming to me is storms in Africa and I don't even know who sang again I'm admitting a lot of shameful and embarrassing things on radio for everyone to hear. But I'm trying to wrap my brain to think what I've been openly Tayla is I'm a body Taylor Tyler Taylor Tyler 20 Tyler. She's Oh I've just been told that she's released an album I thought she'd start making music I don't know ever since Total Eclipse Of The Heart don't count anything else after that which I think again is wrong I've got another text here from David who's just text and said Hi Sam I would reunite the passionate powerful and emotive voice of the legendary Alice and I it was Vince Clarke to reform Yeah. Only you is a classic and highlights the amazing musicality Thank you David thank you for telling me that but also telling me about a band that I've never heard of. That was a big thing I think people are looking at me in a really strange manner that maybe suggests I should stop talking. I would still love to know what your so or like your people that you love from kind of the past are no longer singing which is not Bonnie Tyler because she's apparently just released an album and she is still out there but which band would you read in NY Maybe it's maybe it's the Beatles maybe it's Queen or which musical would you bring back who are no longer around. To restart your message with the word London or give me a call an 807312000 you know I've just thought that we should bring back and I can't believe we haven't mentioned Whitney Houston obviously. I don't know why I didn't think of that but clearly. We need to bring Whitney back to so we can have another rendition but before we do anything else hit is a beautiful song for you as you know this. That's taking a little piece of my heart but I'm a Franklin and I absolutely do you know that song and I feel quite pleased that there's one song I know because I'm being a Bismillah this not remembering anyone from back in the day African Queen even existed how is that how is that possible to do that anyway you're with me somewhat on your b.b.c. Radio love love love London love London I'm trying to say b.b.c. Radio London but also I love London clearly and one breath and I'm sitting in for Joe Good we have our next guest in the studio which are 2 gentlemen who I am very excited to have a conversation with we have Mark Williams who's the founder of the international fathers mental health day and Dan Fallon who's author and founder of the Super you project hello hello how are we you're good you you're good thank you so much for coming in we're talking about music here would you bring back the trash Oh my God for the classical Welsh classic Good one good one there's the pretenders. Still around I don't know I didn't know point in time that was still around so I'm clearly not the right person. To have the pretender so go you see you 2 just mentioned to you that no one else has mentioned yet good game I'm going to ask everyone when I leave the studio I'm going to ask everyone. So listen Mark you set up the found Foundation International father's mental health day and I didn't know this but apparently according to these stats one in 10 men suffer from postnatal depression after after their partners have given birth and I had no idea it was something that men even suffered from Yeah exactly a lot of people have like myself witness trauma in the labor ward so as we know that's p.t.s.d. So p.d.i. Sees an anxiety disorder either witnessing we experience a life threatening event or I honestly thought my wife and baby is going to die in a labor ward my wife Michelle want to have severe post a pressure on where she needs a crisis team and then I was expecting to be back in work in 2 weeks but also I was home with a baby and she didn't bone my son there. You know you start in these feelings that you know good enough and like you said isolation as you know in the 1st year fatherhood is actually really high yeah I can imagine there wasn't many people to talk to you or did you have lots of people to share that experience with whether the stigma 15 years ago was as we know it always a lot better now but it's you know as a man he. Always he would always behave if you start drinking and using negative coping skills and then also now he was starting to get the price in the portal Peter which is the 1st 12 months and the reason why we always called Mrs thinks the biggest killer in men under 15 I want you k. Is actually suicide so we know screening fathers and the World Health Organization doesn't actually recommend screening fathers Yeah really I'm hold off a 1000000 male suicides every year Wow And in those moment kind of after your your wife had given birth that was it was suffering and you were finding yourself home suddenly with this new to how did you cope where exactly is just you got a new baby and then. You started knobbing these thoughts and you know I was more concerned about my wife I can tell my wife I was feeling because I did morning impact on her mental health I didn't tell my family to remember best friends and all of a sudden angry itself I'm you know so so I suffered in silence for about 5 years until never traumatic experience how my life then I didn't realize at the time it was a lot do with them from the time that just builds up doesn't mean it's not to talk about it and there's no space to talk about it obviously it does just constantly get worse and worse that doesn't go away like you think it will if you just ignore it and you are the founder of soupy you project was a little bit about that sort of soap you project your own life it is community for only and I think that's why b m are connected so well is because I was fine didn't commit of course a lot. You know struggling like a real social media this week of all sequels dartboard because what happened is went. He stressed and he doesn't feel like he's got the I'll speak to anybody you know often self medicate with alcohol food all of them so things are really high calorie in and all of a sudden we see this waistline get bigger bigger bigger and we're always find a nice the blood's that was coming towards me there was asking about meal plans and programs and I was like It's not about Laci example a little bit mall simple thing you know x. Navy right next fall says yes so you I would imagine had the knowledge to give that to share with them kind of what you should be doing because sometimes when you're in certain head spaces and you know you know you know your body's deteriorates because your mind space in your head you know the best mental health it's really hard to start is that if you don't you know where to start yeah yeah and that's where the philosophy of start with one thing which is the book on Amazon all for Slate and. It was so simple a lot of people disagree to go to it and if you think about how people connect with things 6 when something so simple that they can just pick it up a room with it pardon the pun. And the like but yeah but I never found out that was what was happening with the dogs I was giving him something very simple a most of the time don't challenge me as I walk in put one foot in front of the other is going to get you somewhere along the lines of is going to get you into bad headspace is going to get you in you know your waistline is going to sort of reduce and then connect to mock and what marks do and he sees going into complete challenging companies now when employers to be aware of these things are going on with dots alongside the only Smith wife as well though she's she's quite pick on the social media that as well what kind of you know what was the one thing that made you I'm going to start this project. Who was my own journey I actually found there was a lot going on at the Somme always leaving the Navy just about to be a new dad all these transitions and then we did have a traumatic birth as well. And you know my life was spiraling out of control and so was my waistline even though we still train in yeah and I was still like unit human with the exercise every politician which I still do contract into. What happened was I realized I'm getting no control of my ways that get out your I get about 20 kilos and then I went but the basic started one thing started walking mall my head was getting in a better place on the all of a sudden my waist lines reducing and then I thought you know was over Dods all eligible s. And I started conversing with of adults up north Well that's where I'm from and Dad's still in the military and ex-military and before when you will fall right I'm going to do something about this and that's the thing is once you start talking about it then everyone goes off me too you know you have Yeah yeah right. It's like that I was saying I mean we always been very we don't want to actually going to employers and say look this is a concern because a lot of like asleep on its own on top of all this stuff and you know it's going to save money and also be more productive for the family and the development of the child as well you know so you know if you get down to smoke and drink it more always see that it has an impact on the mems mental health as well as the child so it's more realistic approach and then early prevention would save them money as well so I'm going to say it's about preventative measures must be obvious that I must be trying to throw money at it once the problems already there which great to do yeah not something that you know it's called in the n.h.s. And I always say it's the National Survey subtly because we we're into the problems less Yeah and an old is obviously. Going to have a budget but surely we must see that these problems can be prevented lifestyle medicine that's what we call it something as simple as walking which which we know the evidence now supports that it can reduce your probability of suffering with depression and sightsee by. Huge amounts almost a lot of evidence out there to support all the actual dealing with depression when you're in but if we can support it happening in the 1st place sure we have to look at our Yeah and there are often it's small things that we can start doing and yeah it doesn't have to be huge good to therapy right now and often times it's just a small thing to start that process right I guess before it gets there and I think God I love walking I mean I do a lot of hiking anyway so I'm in the mountains is my favorite place to be but there are times when I'm you know in the city and maybe I'm going through a bad spell with my mental health and you know it's really bad and I've kind of locked myself away in my house and I haven't seen anyone and I'm refusing to talk to anyone and sometimes and often the only thing that I can do is go for war and nothing will be the thing that will like start a way to talk to people and you know it really does help but we don't we don't think about it do it. And there's lots of conversation happening about man's mental health now in a way that we haven't had before and I know that when I was growing up as a kid no one's talking about when I was going to health What's been the reaction from the men who are struggling for both of you come I'm sure you've had so many different men come to you know what's for you Mark what's the reaction I think coming from I'm from upper valleys a mining community very tough you know I think like you said a lot people are talking about mental health more I think the next generation is really we are talking about much more than we were even 5 years ago I think but I think what we need now in place is you know early prevention services now and I keep saying you know the workplace is big because health is as a stress show as it is you know for fathers you know you know the conversation is not being asked so that's why the idea is actually go into the workplace and let's talk where there could be some support as easy just just talking about about own experiences that sometimes I've spoken to just know when I have a father who the experience that could be enough sometimes and down what kind of in the work that you've been doing what kickback have you got what do you get any. From the men who can I talk to God I had a conversation with a male friend who was like I don't mean terribly and I was like you know yeah there's still so many men like well the thing is the with the book is written it's all story based by the dozens of works with me so when they read the book I often go. Up to 6 residents of me your best is the consistency ninja were on such a binge or why don't you start asking the questions of who do you know the reason beyond that or You mean like well there's something that drives that behavior Yeah so let's just you know fold this and you know a therapist by any means I'm capable enough to ask questions for them to ponder on right then we're all off the fundies a few weeks little some evil you have to start talking a little bit more about all this they said. So yes so it's been real positive in the sense that often I think when. And I know just an experience when I've had these conversations men often uncomfortable because they're not used to having these conversations and that discomfort can often result in anger and yeah this is I know it and you know me having like this is ridiculous the press only feelings and it's going to come out. And that's the thing I mean they do get annoyed and angry and I'm like I'm just trying to tell you probably did talk to someone about you know if your idea isn't you know a real kind of cause of that then this is showing us that you really do need to. Where can people get involved with your international health aide Yeah so we do need it's always a day after Father's Day in June and you can have a little Google Mark Williams fathers mental health like I said with a reason it's called Dance depression. Dads and depression and it's going to in the workplace so we walked in if any London organizations that's why we're going to go 1st if they want to sponsor us or anything or uncover just to get in the workplace just please get in touch with Google Mark Williams fathers mental health amazing and what you've done well I'm all on social media. You project on Instagram Facebook and I give constant barely I could go all hours in a by the book Start with one thing that that's no b.s. Approach to follow some fitness you know I'm open you can go and sometimes it was on the time you like and what we actually interesting to know is you know people who are listening who maybe are struggling and I miss God there's loads of men out there who are struggling and having conversations with themselves but they're not ready to speak out loud or that nobody to you know go to therapy or do something as big as that what would your advice be to guys who maybe have become new dads and who are suddenly finding you know life is turned upside down for them but actually they don't have that much space to speak about because they're just trying to support that partner's right what would your advice be of what little things can they start doing basic things like before before the period of actually you having the Beth itself make sure you're almost bulletproof yourself or if you know get some exercise habits in there already you know maybe practice of mindfulness get down low to headspace all caught up and start really preparing yourself mentally because we're often find these people are just going to think up they're going to dream for a bear and it's going to be this really wonderful experience not something that was on the. But that already the same room could be really sticks and then if you can build before yeah like like almost like pre ability actions of 6 months you will moon really really hit it hard Warks little you know build yourself a little gym and get some don't know Bell's call of cowbells and really saw of build the habits fair so that you're more prepared for when these sort of things are right because then once the baby arrives and everything you think about the baby that yeah right then you know you know. This is why you feel is crucial because we do encourage moms to give us more can give drinking well we should be encouraged as well you know it's a myth. Well you know get a sleep ready you know it's the ante natal p. That is really important right there's so much work that a woman does in her 9 months of pregnancy to put herself in terms of like reading an education and her body just going through physical changes but a lot of the time the man is kind of like well be my job what's happened up until then I don't have anything to do right but even if they really even then even after so say for instance if you know if your wife is breastfeeding your Again you're made redundant really in some sense the thing is if we can involve dad as much as possible in all the process then the more likely to sort of. Not not suffer the consequences after so listen I want to talk to and my skin to skin color skin to skin you know all dips and yeah that's why you see a lot of kind of your skin to skin contact but yeah yeah yeah I'm going to have a quick 2nd go on obviously you know this this period afterwards when men are going to pose you know depression or whatever I would imagine there'd be some women who just kind of don't have the time of day for it in that kind of like I've just given birth what have you actually done how you know you're right for months I will take that home and change is all this is about tell me about testosterone doesn't lower as soon as times but the pressure anyway I described in my friends is if there's no baby or pregnancy the man wouldn't be depressed in the poor little Peter which is the 1st 12 months or the antenatal period. So you know we got an obvious conversation as always we still will have the biggest killer in men and the 50 suicide stigma if you know educated but I don't you know mention it you know don't obvious conversation if you know educate educate yourself 1st before you start our ways we're going to just create this stigma and stigma is going to get worse and it's going to get buried and we spoke the next generation of fathers Well yeah you know young you know young fathers actually did the men to have foundation to report 39 percent of fathers young fathers didn't didn't have the. They want the support. That's just shocking isn't it was shocking Yeah because yeah and I think women probably have to hold as much space for these men as and vice versa right and so you know I mean part of Mum's mental health so to you know it does impact the money but you have that struggle and so it's more you know I'd be shouting for moms Now if nobody showed me the dads you know I realize that when both parents to support the same gender couples everyone when you support all parents it just have better outcomes for the whole family. As a whole kind of clay you know cat on to our parents and giving them the space to so many parents don't have the space or the time to stop with their children to do the necessary things or take the necessary amount of time off work because they're struggling to get back in for the money or whatever it is we don't actually support parents that when it our society doing us it's all about Oh so you can get up quickest and like get back to work you look kind of bounce back from my friend yeah you know that's so interesting I follow someone online actually called jets at Moma who is you know one of these in the same way this one of these Instagram is and she's amazing and she just had a note her 4th child and she was saying about it she was saying about this that actually this 40 days and 40 nights he should just be at home and bad as a woman and you shouldn't be out trying to go to as Tesco and trying to do everything and take the kids or you just should be at home bonding with your day because that thing is that nesting period is I were important right. But listen I don't have any children and quite frankly it sounds terrifying. But this is an incredible initiative listen Gents thank you so much for coming in Mark Williams founder of the international fathers mental health day and Dan father an author and founder of The Soup it you project thank you so much for coming in and sharing that with us thank you. Lol. Lol. Lol. Lol. A I was was. Going to was. Going to a. Move. To a. Few hours ago and. Cut. To a. Period of. A serious. Issue and. It was. Was. No I hope you all think along to how would I know by Whitney Houston you're here with me. Donny on the show covering and sitting in for Joe good he is away and busy and I am here looking after you today we've got loads still coming up on the show we've been talking about bands you've been bringing back and we'll be taking some calls after we've got a little bit of news that we still have drive time coming up on the show after our show and every nest is going to be talking to you guys about what you think about Britain's finances and which party you trust with their finances this election given the news that's come out today and then later on from 1 am right after Duncan but you got done at ebay who's lived through the night taking your calls so if you're up all night and done we'll be there to keep you company and keep you entertained throughout the night so don't go anywhere and state you know we're going to have a little bit of news with version. On the radio $96.00 f.m. . B.b.c. Says. These numbers are. B.b.c. Radio. 3 o'clock Schindler Leading Economic Research Group as well that know whether the conservatives nor labor are offering credible spending plans in their election manifestos the Institute for Fiscal study says neither party is being honest with voters economics editor Faisel Islam has been looking at the criticism of labor some of the spending on investment that song buildings hospice alls on roads and railways things like that is just so big that they won't be able to deliver it so what's the message you send to the public and it's highly likely that with the levels of tax that they want to increase the tax they buy that that would impact upon directly or indirectly more than just the top 5 percent of earners the I.F.'s also said it was highly likely the conservatives would spend more than they were promising to the organization said that the Lib Dems had the most fiscally responsible plan. Meanwhile with 2 weeks to go before polling day Labor's changing its election campaign strategy to try to appeal to people who back Briggs's the party will focus on the message that another referendum isn't about staying in the e.u. By the backdoor the Lib Dems leader Jo Swinson says Boris Johnson has dragged the office of Prime Minister through the mud in a speech that accused Mr Johnson of patronize ing sexism and having a sense of it Tony and in title meant Miss Swenson said he only cared about himself Boris Johnson is not fit to be prime minister not just because he doesn't care not just because he lies but because also he is complicit in stoking Division I fear in our communities Why else would Britain's biggest racist Tony Robinson be supporting him such an indoor sman would shame any decent person the leader of the Democratic Unionist Party Arlene Foster has promised to continue pressing for changes to Boris Johnson's breaks it deal after the general election Mrs Foster said her party which supported 2 conservative minority governments in the past years could again play a key role in the new House of Commons speaking at the launch of the party's manifesto in Belfast she said Mr Johnson would have to amend his breaks it deal if he wanted the d.p. Support the issues surrounding customs and the issues surrounding consent of the 2 issues that we will be talking to f.r. Johnson is the next prime minister Those are the sorts of issues that we will want to talk to them of a.

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