Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

I stated that clearly. I stated that clearly i stated that clearly. How could our system fail like this . Jon hey its very intimidating. Jon wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. President trump just tweeted at you. Every jazz club Marie Yovanovitch goes to turns bad. laughter what a jerk. He is. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight enter vindman. And stephen tours new zealand with lucy lawless and bret mckenzie. Plus, stephen welcomes Helena Bonham carter featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen wooo hi, there please, have a seat, everybody. Thank you very much. Welcome, welcome one and all to the late show. cheers lovely to have you here. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. It is day three . We are on to day three of live impeachment hearings. And im going to give you all the latest dietz in tonights edition of don and the giant impeach. Help me, please, help me stephen the first of four Witnesses Today was National Security Council Ukraine expert, Lieutenant Colonel alexander vindman, seen here launching shock and awww. laughter vindman came to the United States as a child when his father fled the soviet union, and went on to enlist in the army, where he received a purple heart for his service in iraq. Given his history, the only way vindman could be more allamerican is if he appeared in a ken burns documentary about the statue of liberty, which he did as a child. Came from kiev. And then we went to our mothered die, and then we went to italy, and we came here. Stephen and when i gwow up, i want to be in the awmy and testify about the pwesidents cowwuption in ukwaine. Vindman used his Opening Statement to send a message to his father, who fled the soviet union. When my father was 47 years old, he left behind his entire life and the only home he had ever known to start over in the United States so his three sons could have a better and safer lives. Dad, i am sitting here today in the u. S. Capitol talking to our elected professionals is proof you made the right decision 40 years ago to leave the soviet union, come here to the United States of america in search of a better life for our family. Do not worry. I will be fine for telling the truth. Stephen that is beautiful. applause that is absolutely jon love that. Right on. Stephen thats moving and its true. And its true. But you know its really going to enrage trump. Because it features his two leastfavorite things immigrants and fathers who love their sons. laughter now, later on, representative sean maloney asked vindman about that statement. I am struck by that phrase, do not worry, you addressed your dad. He would have worried if you were putting yourself up against the president of the united state, is that right . He deeply worried about it, because in his context, it was the ultimate risk. And why do you have confidence that you can do that and tell your dad not to worry . Congressman, because this is america. This is the country that i have served and defended, that all of my brothers have served, and here, right matters. cheers and applause stephen thats right. Thank you. Thank you, Lieutenant Colonel. Yes, in america, right matters. Unless youre one of the congressmen on the right, then not so much these days. When republican Ranking Member devin nunes began his questioning, vindman was not afraid to clap back. Mr. Vindman, you testified in your deposition that you did not know the whistleblower. Ranking member, its Lieutenant Colonel vindman, please. cheers and applause stephen or ms. Jackson, if youre nasty. laughter then im paraphrasing, obviously. Then it came time for utah representative chris stewart, who used his time to throw shade on vindmans military service. I see youre wearing your dress uniform, knowing thats not the uniform of the day. You normally wear a suit to the white house. I think its a great reminder of your military service. Stephen congressman, i see youre wearing your little bitch face. Its not the face of the day, its not the face of the day, but it is a great reminder that youre a total douche. Vindman has an identical twin brother, who also serves in the military, and that was brought up by texas representative joaquin castro, whose identical twin, julian, is currently running for president. Its great to talk to a fellow identical twin. And i hope that your brother is nicer to you than me and doesnt make you grow a beard laughter stephen then they continued for another 15 minutes in a weird twin language. talking in twin language laughter no letters, please. laughter republican jim jordan implied that Lieutenant Colonel vindman did not have the trust of his superiors, but vindman brought the receipts. So your boss had concerns about your judgment. Your former boss, dr. Hill, had concerns about your judgment. Any idea why they have those impressions, colonel vindman . Yes, representative jordan, i guess ill start by reading dr. Hills own words as she she attested to in my last evaluation that was dated middle of july, right before she left. Alex is a top 1 military officer and the best army officer ive worked, with in my 15 years of government service. Hes brilliant, unflappable, and exercises excellent judgment. Stephen he uses excellent judgement. He plans ahead. He brings documents that rebut jim jordans weakass smack talk even before it leaves his y mou. cheers and applause oh stephen republicans spent the whole hearing trying to make it about the bidens, so during his questions, democratic congressman welch offered a challenge to President Trump. And i will say this to President Trump you want to investigate joe biden, you want to investigate hunter biden, go at it. Do it. Do it hard. Do it dirty, and do it the way you do do it. Just dont do it by asking a foreign leader to help you in your campaign. Stephen as welch do it. Do it hard. Do it dirty. But do it right here in front of us, where we can all watch your dirty, nasty little doing it. And i yield the remainder my time to mistress domina, princess of punishment. laughter leading up to todays testimony, republicans had really high hopes for one of the afternoon witnesses. Former u. S. Special representative for ukraine and man spending way too much time on one part of the sex talk, kurt volker. According to previous witnesses, volker was deeply involved in the communication between the white house and ukraine, but today, volker testified that he was kept out of the loop. Not a great sign for republicans when their key witness is a guy whos out of the loop. as lawyer the defense would like to call to the stand a blind janitor who was off work the day of the murder. laughter applause did you see anything . No. Thank you the defense rests youre out of order once the afternoon session started, it was time to swear in volker and former National Security counsel adviser tim morrison, and oh, my god, who let that giant in . laughter im kidding, obviously. While he is 71, mr. Morrison swore in just like anybody else i solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So help me fee fi fo fum. applause volker attempted to explain why he previously testified that there was no connection between military aid and investigations, which, turns out, is not true. Since i gave my testimony on october 3rd, a great deal of Additional Information and perspectives have come to light. Ive learned many things that i did not know at the time. Stephen first and foremost, among them, that im far too pretty to go to jail. Aye like to id like to volker made it clear he wasnt a fan of his squads nickname. Much has been made of the term three amigos in reference to secretary perry, ambassador sondland, and myself. Ive never used that term and, frankly, cringe when i hear it as volker i cringe because those guys are not my amigos. They are, at best, los acquaintances de work. laughter now, the democratic lead counsel asked morrison what he knew about the Ukrainian Energy company burisma, which is part of the Conspiracy Theory trump mentioned on the phone. And after she informed you of this company burisma, what if anything did you do to determine what that was . After that particular handoff meeting, i proceeded to look it up on the internet. I googled it. Stephen as morrison and i learned a lot of shocking things on google. Did you know the male seahorse carries the babies . I did not know that. Re its quite its quite jon oh, my stephen while the testimony was going on, trump held a televised cabinet meeting. It was kicked off by Energy Secretary rick perry, who began with a prayer for the president and for the nation. Look at what hes doing with his hands. You dont see that very often. as perry dear lord. Oh, boy. Oh, jesus. Jesus god in heaven. I just oh, lord its its dear lord, its never mind who it is. Im praying for a friend whos in trouble. Hed hed offer the prayers to you himself, but first, hed like you to do him a favor, though. Weve got a great show for you tonight. cheers and applause new zealand week continues, and i go to wellington, new zealand, and learn how to be a real new zealander from xena the Warrior Princess and a flight of concorde. But when we return, breaking news out of washington. And breaking wind. Stick around holiday stress . Repeat after me. I am grateful. Audience i am grateful. I am getting all the gifts this holiday. Hurry in for forty percent off everything. Thats forty percent off everything you get all the gifts now, at old navy. Fishrisotto. Buffalo. Buffalo Wild Wings gelato. Curry. Cacciatori. Chimichurri. Fried turkey. Blueberry. Mcflurry. mcdonalds cheese cake. Cheesecake Factory grilled steak. Clam bake. Milkshake. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. paul switch to sprint everyone is talking about. S the. sprintern the new iphone 11 or iphone 11 pro with amazing allnew camera systems. 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Womens sweaters 22. 50 and under. And kitchen electrics. Plus snap a free picture with santa this sunday . Youll find new gifts at every turn this holiday at kohls. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, give it up for the band, jon batiste and stay human. Right there. Killing it jon, jon, jon. Weve got so much show. Jon, theres so much theres so much to talk about. Theres so much to do tonight. Jon theres a lot going on tonight. Stephen this week is new zealand week all week long, all the pieces from our trip down to new zealand. Were going to show lucy lawless and bret mckenzie. Helena Bonham Carter is on tonight in just a few minutes. cheers and applause . Jon yes, yes stephen and tomorrow night, live show, live show after the debate right here from the ed sullivan theater. Dont miss it. Now youre going to want to collect them all. One of the democrats questioning witnesses in the inquiry is california congressman and guy telling you his dad owns a boat, eric swallwell. laughter swallwell went on hard chris with matthew ball last night to lay out some of the evidence against donald trump. But there was what many are claiming was an embarrassing moment. See if you can spot it. Ive counted at least five people testifying this week who were on the phone listening to the president talk about this swap of dirt for u. S. Military aid. Chris, so far, the evidence is uncontradicted that the president used taxpayer dollars to ask the ukraines to help him cheat. loud fart noise an election. laughter ed laughter stephen now, i dont know exactly what happened there, but if its what you think it is, it came through loud and clear. Laugh i can not know this, but, evidently, msneebz mics their guests pants. Now, cards on the table, i didnt want to talk about this. I saw the clip on twitter before i went to bed last night, and i didnt click on it because i thought, surely this will pass. But it didnt. This one lingered. Because this is true, when i woke up this morning, fartgate was still trending. Not only that, a reporter from buzzfeed actually texted representative swalwell and said, im really sorry about this, but i have to ask if this was you or someone in the studio . To which swalwell replied, it was not me ha. And i didnt hear it when i was speaking. You look like you heard it, and are stifling a laugh. I def did not hear it laughter congressman, you claim you didnt even hear it . Now we know it was you. laughter that was established as admissible evidence in the landmark decision of denied it v. Supplied it. But msnbc had swallwells back, because late last night, hardball actually tweeted, sorry to disappoint the conspiracy theorists. It was the hardball mug scraping across the desk. Get yours today not a great sales pitch our will ma millionof people think s laughter but whoever is responsible shouldnt be embarrassed. Full of notable figures who famously passed gas at inopportune moments. And ive been waiting to say this next sentence for years jim, roll the fart montage. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall. farting i want you to listen to me. Im going to say this again. farting i did not have sexual relations with that woman. farting today, i consider myself the luckiest man on the face the earth. farting thats one small step for man, one giant farting for mankind. Oh god, im trapped in the suit with it laughter stephen when we come back, ill be in wellington, new zealand, learning to be a kiwi. Stick around makeawish child i got this for you. vo when you share the love, you change lives. Over twentytwo hundred wishes granted. More than fifty seven thousand pets supported. Over one hundred National Parks protected. Over two million meals provided. 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The number one recommended brand in north america. band playing cheers and a stephen hey, everybody, welcome back folk, you might be able to tell, i dont know if you can tell at home but im in a really great mood tonight because all this week were celebrating great country of new zealand by showing my incredible trip down there in our series the late show presents Stephen Colbert the newest zealander. Stephen last night i had the honor meeting with Prime Minister jacinda ardern. And after her warm welcome, i wanted to learn how to blend in as a regular kiwi. And to learn how to do that, i flew to wellington and met up bret mckenzie, who is one half of flight of the conchords, and lucy lawless, who is 100 xena Warrior Princess. Jim . Stephen hey you guys. Hi, stephen. Stephen hi, lucy. Hi, stephen. Hi, bret. Stephen thank you so much for meeting me here in wellington. Things in the Northern Hemisphere are looking a little dicey these days and i was hoping you could teach me to be a kiwi to fit in, in case i need to head south if things go south. As an american, i like food so lets put neferg my mouth. What are we looking at . Its a white breadbased dish. Stephen okay. Pay put in there a thing we call tin spaghetti. Stephen tin spaghetti . So this is spa get nea can . Its really good. Stephen is this the result of some sort of world war ii surplus spaghetti . No, its like italian food. Stephen that you had to do something to get rid of. Its an italiannew zealand treaty. Stephen so your greatest chefs are just as skilled as my College Sophomore roommate. This looks like a poptart filled with sadness. This is no, no, no. Stephen okay. This is a classic sausage sizzle opportunity. Stephen again, white bread. Uhhuh. Stephen you have not achieved bun technol. We dont do buns, no. Do you have sausage sizzles . Stephen when i was younger, i needed the money. laughter that is what . This is vegimite, or marmite on toast. This is another white breadbased new zealand classic. I just have to lick is because im gluten free. You know what, theres gluten in it. Stephen theres gluten in marmite. I shouldnt have it then. I might be gluten intolerant. Youll be all right. Stephen ill ask my assistant. I can eat gluten . Its sweet as, youll like it. Stephen what. What did you say about my ass . Its very sweet. Stephen thank you. Okay, here we laughter . Great, right . What do you think . Good man. laughter applause stephen thats good. Lets talk slang. How do you say yes . Yes. Stephen okay, how do you say no . You can simply say no, but you more commonly say yeah, na. For example, would you like some more marmite on toast, stephen . Stephen yeah, no. applause the other trick to sounding like a kiwi is not moving your mouth too much. A bit like a southern drawl. Its much easier for kiwi actors and actors to do a southern accent. Stephen boy its a hot day im so thirsty. Boy, its a hot day, im so thirsty. Boy, its a hot day whats that . Stephen youre a smoker is what it sounds like, which is pretty good for the sound. Thats not a region. Thats not a region. Thats not a region specific. Stephen kind of. Should we show you some of wellington . Stephen that would be great. Ill just take that. Stephen how are we getting around town . This is just you know, a crocodile bike. Stephen all right. The usual. Stephen are there crocodiles in new zealand . No, this is the only crocodile youll find. Stephen how much of your National Economy is based on whimsy . laughter are you are you proud of your country here . Oh, yeah. Love it. Love it. Yeah. Stephen i miss that feeling. Its beautiful. Stephen oh, yeah, yeah. Hello. Nice to see you. Wod you like walking. Stephen okay. Wow, wow. I like walking that was there was just a little bit of judgment in that. Yeah. Stephen do you know who these two people are . Ah, yes. Stephen do you know who they are . Ah, yes. Stephen and this is your reaction . Ah, yes. Stephen i think i would like to be famous down here. This is nice. This is almost like not being famous. Yes. Its very similar. Might as well not be here, man. Stephen i want to try to hit this hill. Get some pede up guys, come on look out, rhead wooo stephen heavy on that break. bleep . Oh, yeah, nailed it, nailed it. Its like bungee jumping. Stephen is it true everybody gets Health Insurance here . No, no, you dont need insurance. You just go to the hospital and theyll fix you. Stephen theyll fix you. Even if you walk in theyll take care of you. Stephen as a tourist. As a tourist you get free health care. Stephen i was thinking when i was down here injuring my face a little bit, just get injured right here. And ill go back to the states and theyll go, you look so rested. New zealand does that. Free health care, i like that. When you say yeah, nah. How many of those can you string together . Maybe its two. You go yeah, nah. Yeah. Na. One more final. And people are like oh, you tosser. Stephen the agree of difficulty on that whats a tosser . Whats a tosser . Lets pretend i didnt say that. Stephen whats a tosser. We have to go. A toss is a wanker. Stephen and what say wanker . Like well my mother explained it me thus. She said its whenne their penis until it goes cowywowie. Stephen this is a wanker. Tosser stephen tosser is terrible because it really paints a picture, so to speak. Like a jackson pollock. Oh, my god stephen none of this cbs wi do this, right . Friendly around here . Oh, super friendly stephen is it easy to meet people . Lets see. Stephen so where are you guys from . Just local, yeah. Stephen what what do i need to know to be a kiwi . Just tell meet thing that essentially i have to know if im going to pass. Oh, geez, youve got to know how to do a hongy. Stephen whats a honing . Hongy is stephen is that the sausage on the bread. Give him a honing. When you press the bridge of your nose up against give him a homey, go on. laughter stephen in some countries were now a common law couple. laughter . See the big hand on top of the building . Thats the its the big hand upside down. It looks like its giving the finger. Stephen cosmopolitan magazine says thats the one move that will drive your man wild. laughter im in. I want to be a i can we. What else do i need to do . Got to change your clothes. Come with up. Stephen i cant wear this . This is all i wear. Stephen yeah. applause looking good. Looking good. Stephen what do you think . I watched a bunch of sam neal movies, watched all the jurassic parks. Its uncanny. Im so surprise gld very nice. Hi. Im not actually from here, but i dont want to confuse anybody. You look like everyone else here. Stephen yeah, yeah. I lotioned my legs. The bottom half is pretty accurate. Up to about here you look like a school principal. Stephen so a figure of authority. So a figure of authority. Yes. Theres something uncanny about it, like, its uncomfortable looking at you. Stephen why is an american accent coming out of this pure kiwi body right now . I cant even look at him. Stephen fight it. Lets keep this professional, lucy. Lets get a drink. Cheers. Cheerdz. Cheers. Stephen to new zealand. To New Zealanders like us. What do we say in new zealand when we toast . What do we say . Just cheers. Stephen cheers . Yeah, yeah. Stephen fellow, kiwis if i could have your attention for just a moment. Ive recently been inducted into your lovely nation as you can tell by my native garb. Would you nine me notice nou in a rousing chorus of your beautiful anthem. cheers and applause stephen play ball by which i mean rugby. Thank you, bret. Thank you, lucy. Tomorrow night, i learn how to play rugby with the new zealand all blacks. Well be right back with Helena Bonham carter cheers unwrap more cozy this holiday with a faux minktosherpa comforter. Plus, 21. 99 sweaters for her. Jcpenney. But since they bought their new house. Which menu am i looking at here . Start with tapaz. Oh, its tapas. Tapas. Get out of town. Its like eating dinner with your parents. Sandra, are you in school . Yes, im in art school. Oh, wow. So have you thought about how youre gonna make money . At least were learning some new things. We bundled our home and auto with progressive, saved a bunch. Oh, we got a wobbler. Progressive cant protect yo om your home and autotect when you bundle with us. Thats what the extra menus for. groans hmph. food grunting menacingly when the food you love doesnt love you back, stay smooth and fight heartburn fast with tums smoothies. Tum tumtum tum tums Friends Family sale take an extra 25 off save on family outerwear. Mens izod sweaters 50 off plus an extra 25 off. And cuddl duds throws just 18. 74. Plus snap a free picture with santa this sunday . Find new gifts at every turn at kohls. band playing cheers and applause displ hey, everybody, welcome back to the show. Ladies and gentlemen, you know my first guest tonight from room with a view, the kings speech, and hard chris with matthew bally potter. Now shes playing Princess Margaret in the crown. Please welcome, Helena Bonham carter applause stephen no, please, no, no, i beg you. I beg you. Please. Thats a lovely thies lovely jacket. This is where this isnt where David Letterman did it. Stephen this is the exact same theater. Because it was always cold. I remember it was always cold. Stephen its extraordinarily cold in here. This is why i brought that. Stephen good for you. Good for you. Well planned, Helena Bonham carter. Good thinking. Stephen lovely to meet you. Lovely to meet you. Lets do it again. Stephen nice to see you. For the people out there who havent seen it yet youre playing Princess Margaret in the crown. Only for this season. Stephen only for this season . No, absolutely wrong. laughter this season and next season. Seasons three and four. I was vanessa kirby. Stephen okay. When you age in the crown, you become a different actor. Stephen oh,. Thats what happens. Stephen thats very interesting. It sounds painful. When youre part of the royal family. It was kind of painful. Stephen i understand you actually you met Princess Margaret while she was still with us. I did, i did. Kind of, looking back on it i mean, i kind of she was it sounds like a bit showavi but she was kind of a friend of the family because my uncle happened to know her from a long, long time stephen by know you mean they dated . Its really nupt air. We cant really be lets see. Oh, you see. Its so nice. Theres my uncle mark. Hes amazing. You see, he was a prisoner of war. And he escaped from behind enemy lines. He walked the whole of italy, escaped. And they didnt send him back to war. And they asked him to guard princess ann who was at windsor not ann, margaret. Stephen sure. Slightly jet lag. You get the gist. Stephen sure. And they ended up being good friends. Stephen was she around the house when you were a kid . No, i would go to parties and you were always told there was a princess in the room. She was a stickler for protocol and now i realize why. Stephen why . She wanted to control what she could. Stephen i understand. She had very little. And i think she was very she was someone who was very bossy and she was very precise, and it was almost like this is what she could do for the brch empire. She was very bossy. But if you have very little control over your life, you can often end up controlling the little that you can. Maybe. I dont know. I have all sorts of reasons to justify my behavior in this series. laughter stephen we have all positive. Stephen we have a clip here. You can explain whats going on here . Probably not. Stephen okay,un what . Let her go. Stephen lets just freeball it. Jim. She means well. Two of us are complicated. She and i are complicated. Its true. Elder sister, younger sister. Number one and number two. Whos number one . You. Of course. A natural number one whose tragedy it is to have been born number two. That is my burden. She knows it, too. Yes, i think she does. Thats her battle. applause cheers i didnt tell you, ill tell you quickly now stephen or take your time. You dont have to say it quickly. Im slightly tired. Thats all. I just got off a plane. Im not bored. Stephen would you like a cup of coffee . Yes. Stephen a fresh one do you have anything else. Stephen would you like a cup of tea. Oh, lets have our tea. That is so perfect. Stephen here we go. So, yes, so you were talking with Princess Margaret. Do go on. Uhhuh. Uhhuh. You put the milk in first . Stephen milk in first. I do not know your foreign ways. Stop stephen stop. Do you like sugar . No. Stephen no . Say when . I will. I didnt. laughter stephen its hot i didnt want to scald you. Just testing. Stephen is that all right . Its all right. Stephen before you tell the story, very quickly. She says, burden. Burden. Stephen theres a different royal accent than, like, a received english accent. Its a very specific accent tsound to me. Yes, we had an accent coach. Burden, burden. Stephen do they have a specific one . It sounds different to me. There are all sorts of sounds in the world that are accented. You cant move your upper lip y talking without moving your upper lip. laughter go on. Do it. Stephen ill do my best. laughter ill do my best. Better, better. Stephen better, better, yes, yes, yes, i understand. Thats good. Stephen very good, very good, yes, i understand. Now say burden. Brntd. Stephen burden. laughter applause . You could be in the next series stephen im ready yes stephen im ready season 4 stephen okay, so what did she say to you . What did she say to me . I was in my 30s, i had finally gotten a few years of acting, and i saw her at a reception at windsor. She was tiny, by the way. She was tiny. She was she was stephen and youre not huge yourself. Thats why im better than vanessa because im short. I can do that better. And she said, oh, helena remembering that i was the niece of the. Maybe exboyfriend, or whatever he was. Hello. You are Getting Better at acting, arent you . laughter stephen wow i mean its kind of like now i know her very well eye feel i know her very well. Its kind of classically her that shes brilliant at complimenting and putting you down at the same time. There was always an ambivalence. And she liked, whether it was unconscious or not, to unsettle people pup were going constantly stephen wow there was a lot of duality. So she would be incredibly friendly and then very not. And its a switch. And thats why shes fun to play. Possibly not fun to be to bed. Not all the time. But she had some happy bits, but they make lessinteresting dramas than unhappy. So, but shes not as unhappy as people would like. I think she was quite frustrated that generally everyone thought, oh, the unhappiest lady ever. She had a lot of fun, and she was witty and she enjoyed life, too. She was multidimensional. Stephen yes, she was. laughter stephen okay, we have to take a little bit of a break. Please dont go away because when we come back i will ask Helena Bonham carter to spill the tea. cheers and applause there you go. Too shabby too much i can rent this . For that price . Absolutely. Its just right book your just right rental at thrifty. Com. Its just right man 1 vo proof of less joint pain woman 1 oc this is my body of proof. And clearer skin. Man 2 vo proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis. Woman 2 vo . With humira. Woman 3 vo humira targets and blocks a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. 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You also get 4 lines for 25 per line per month, plus 4 free phones. Switch to boost mobile and get 4 lines with unlimited gigs for 25 per line per month, plus 4 free Samsung Galaxy phones, all on our super reliable, super fast network. Follow me to a place i know with Endless Possibilities so you can check your list off rowbyrow. Come on look around so much in store, youll spend much less but gift much more spend less, gift better. At t. J. Maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. Welcome back here were with Helena Bonham carter, star of season three of the crown on netflix. Now, weve got our tea. Yes. Stephen and you be the american phrase spill the tea. Ive been taught it. Stephen youve been taught spilled tea. I get the goss. Stephen you get the goss, exactly. Grease me. You have a long and storied career with some fantastic costars. And i would like you to spill the tea on some of your costars. Okay . Okay, in a nondaily mail yes dangerous way. Stephen any way you would like to. Fifth amendment. Stephen spill the tea on your costar, olivia colman. Very big heart. Niagra, in her capacity for crying. Stephen oh, really. She can turn on the waterworks. Shes extraordinary. She feels everything. Shes theres nobody like her with no tear duct like her, actually. laughter . Stephen reporter, okay. Colin firgt, your costar from the kings speech. I love him, he talks too much. Stephen talks too much, uhhuh. Oh, yeah. Cheat kathy, go on. He was playing basically Princess Margarets father who, obviously, has problems with speech mean had a stammer. So the only way i knew when we were actually filming was colin stopped talking. Oh, we must be filming. He stopped. Glvment your costar from oceans eight 8. Rihanna. Shes amaze ago shes a goddess. She looks extraordinary. I could never understand a word she said, though. Stephen really . We speak totally different languages. But i loved her. And she was amazing to look at. Really good actress, too. Shes a great designer. Stephen she sings as well. Oh, thats right. Stephen dish the dirt on sasha baron cohen. Ill start. I had dinner with him at George Clooneys house, and he came dressed up in lederhosen carrying a 45pound wheel of cheese. Really . I think he needs stephen true story. Hes got slight he needs attention, doesnt he . I mean, a slight attention seeker . Stephen a little bit. Hes an actor. Well, hes more than just an actor. Stephen hes a menace . laughter he has emotional issue s. Stephen he has emotional issues. Yeah. Stephen that is what we call spilling the tea. Brad pitt, fight club. Absolute gentleman. Stephen really . Spill it. Oh, you mean ive got it tell something no, no. Hes a gentleman, and he looks as if he swallowed the sun, you know. Shes just got this sortt ch a n the and orior and the interior. Stephen good to know, good to know. And now just, like, give me the grease on this just pile of mess, daniel radcliffe. Oh the radcliffe. Hes got nice manners, too. Stephen does he . Yeah. Loves poems. He writes them. Stephen he writes poems . He writes themselves. And he was really handy because i like my tea and my coffee and my diet coke and things, and hed hold them all for me. So he was a really helpful stephen hes your footman. Thats why you like him. Well, helena, thank you so much for being here. Cheers. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. Stephen hello season three of the crown is you know when youre at ross and you realize its time your sister stopped borrowing your sweaters . Yeah thats yes for less. Stop stealing mine. Never. Holiday gifts everyones sure to love at 20 to 60 percent off Department Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. Itheres my career. s more to me than hiv. At 20 to 60 percent off Department Store prices. My cause. And creating my dream home. Im a work in progress. So much goes into who i am. Hiv medicine is one part of it. Prescription dovato is for adults who are starting hiv1 treatment and who arent resistant to either of the medicines dolutegravir or lamivudine. Dovato has 2 medicines in 1 pill to help you reach and then stay undetectable. So your hiv can be controlled with fewer medicines while taking dovato. You can take dovato anytime of day with food or without. Dont take dovato if youre allergic to any of its ingredients or if you take dofetilide. If you have hepatitis b, it can change during treatment with dovato and become harder to treat. Your hepatitis b may get worse or become lifethreatening if you stop taking dovato. So do not stop dovato without talking to your doctor. Serious side effects can occur, including allergic reactions, liver problems, and liver failure. Lifethreatening side effects include lactic acid buildup and severe liver problems. If you have a rash and other symptoms of an allergic reaction, stop taking dovato and get medical help right away. Tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis b or c. Dont use dovato if you plan to become pregnant or during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy since one of its ingredients may harm your unborn baby. Your doctor should do a pregnancy test before starting dovato. Use effective Birth Control while taking dovato. The most common side effects are headache, diarrhea, nausea, trouble sleeping, and tiredness. So much goes into who i am and hope to be. Ask your doctor if starting hiv treatment with dovato is right for you. And you realize you are the the hostess with the mostest. You know when youre at ross yes yeah thats yes for less. Entertain in style all season long. It feels even better when you find it for lessat ross. Yes for less. Late show. Tune in tomorrow when we will be live following the democratic debate with John Heilemann and alex wagner from showtimes circus. Plus, i learn to play rugby from new zealands all blacks. Now stick around for james good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show announcer ladies and gentlemen, all the way