National security advisor [ cheers and applause present. Did you enjoy that john bolton told conservative that was an endorsement of anita baker. We enjoyed presenting well be right back with seth yup donors he thinks President Trump kristen bell they were very worried about what we were going to say. Is mentally unstable but im [ cheers and applause i have no idea why, but you know, good time. Sure trump will clear up that [ laughter ] seth you were great. What about the menu . Misconception with 150 tweets at these fudge brownie m ms are really fudgey it was they made a big deal 3 00 a. M out of it. [ laughter ] it was plantbased. Seth plantbased, yeah yes yeah. Yes, cause, you know, according to researchers, the theres nothing more you want fonts that political candidates after long day of working than just some plants use on Campaign Materials can yes, yes they are. Influence how voters think of [ laughter ] to put a fudge brownie center inside an m ms is really. Them for example, Elizabeth Warren you know, youre just working uses courier hard like, yo, let me get a plate full of beans. Donald trump uses genius i know. Times new roman. Yeah. [ laughter ] and Bernie Sanders just uses i would love an impossible burger roman. Well i was going to say hard and the worst part was every five minutes, everyone was like, [ laughter ] why wont you. Hey, all our food tonight ughhhh. The Bernie Sanders campaign guys. Is plantbased, and then go in then everyone at the table was like announced today that it will [ clapping ] host an event in New Hampshire ahhh [music playing] next month featuring the band [ laughter ] the strokes. [grunting] amazing and it seemed like trumps rally incredible. [crying] amazing incredible in jersey last night maybe also cmonnnnn oh, by the way, my escalade [laughing] has been outside idling for four featured a stroke. Hours. Why wont you go in. [ laughter ] i took a private jet from new fudge brownie m ms. Shield and shelter no baking necessary. La braise cause its standard [ mumbling ] seth you very exciting. Look, look monday, you have David Letterman [ laughter ] as a guest on your show. David letterman seth [ mumbling yes. [ laughter ] President Trump tweeted in i love it seth i mean, thats amazing. Arabic and hebrew yesterday to thats amazing. Promote his new middle east at first, we were like, wow, we got David Letterman. Peace plan and we were like, is he confused does he know which show this said trump, what . Is . [ laughter ] seth yeah. Yeah, but thats like interviewing, like, i thought those were emojis. Michael jordan like, you know seth absolutely. [ laughter ] only roomba uses 2 multisurface rubber certainly, as a talk show host a company in the u. K. Has come out with a line of coffins that brushes to clean all your floors. Oh, yeah. Seth you know, ive had the pleasure of doing just once, but are covered in glitter and with patented dirt detect technology, you are youre like its incidentally, glitter is the like playing basketball against Michael Jordan you know what i mean only thing more permanent than roomba finds dirt throughout your home. Definitely. And whats even more intimidating now, David Letterman has gods beard. Death. If its not from irobot, its not a roomba. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth yeah, he does have organizers of the Kentucky Derby gods beard. Dry spray dries in an instant. [ laughter ] so, like you got to have some have announced theyre seeking really good questions. Yeah. To hire an official menu taste leaving these men with nothing to do in this ad. Seth yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Hes scary. Tester to help finalize the food cause hes gonna be like, you know what im putting ten plagues on you family. Yeah. Options for this years race thankfully, weve got something to fill the time, [ laughter ] he has, like, that beard so far theyre leaning towards instantly putting these guys back into their comfort zone. Thats like, yo, i walk around bare foot all the time. Last years loser. Mmhmm. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] you know what im saying . Seth yeah. Dove dry spray dries instantly the beard that beard is like replacing foot wear. [ audience groans [ laughter ] yes you know what im saying . And keeps you protected for 48 hours. Its full of wisdom. Yes seth i want to ask i know youre a yankee fan, you know representing right now vo dove dry sp love. Ies instantly jeter, very happy for him i assuming [ laughter and applause its what weve always said makes subaru, subaru. If there were any cows in the lets go, jeter [ clapping ] studio who heard how you reacted and right now, love is more important than ever. [ cheers and applause to that lets go jeter [ clapping ] seth yeah. [ laughter ] theyd be like, what the in response to covid19, [ bleep ]. What i want to do is they eat us every day. Subaru and our retailers are donating fifty million meals [ laughter ] all of us, as a country, as a nation, we must band horse steak to feeding america, [ laughter ] to help feed those who now need our help. Seth yeah, thats right. A woman was arrested last week all of the Baseball Writer after attempting to sneak into its all part of our commitment to our communities association, everybody but one voted for jeter. The u. S. From canada by running right through subaru loves to help. Were you upset through a library that straddles i was incensed. You know, that was one of the the border between quebec and first times i realized i am a vermont. Love, jerk yankees fan its what makes subaru, subaru. Said Library Employees seth yeah. [ whispering ] police. [ laughter ] is all about protecting one thing because its not if it was like the pirates or anything it was like, yeah, were going into the hall of fame. The fun oh, yeah. Anywhere under the sun fun. New yorkers are like, no, it state lawmakers in kentucky have has to be unanimous. Sidewalk fun unanimous first ballot [ laughter ] proposed a bill that would are you kidding me. Like, were at the gate at require schools to start longlasting fun delta, were like, im not group seven. Teaching sex ed. In poolside fun. Kindergarten said a kentucky first grader, banana boat sunscreen lasts as long as the fun does. No. No. Oh, man, that really would have been really helpful before my wedding night. [ laughter ] seth you what about this astros story [ laughter ] the astros got caught signstealing. Yeah. Seth they obviously knocked out the yankees. And finally, a mother in they have one of these years in question how do you feel about the sign wisconsin recently brought a stealing listen, man, i mean, you know, jose altuve, shout out to nerf dart gun to the hospital to him. Keep her husband awake while she hes one of the best Little League world players ever. Was in labor [ laughter ] [ audience oohs yeah. But only because nerf doesnt [ laughter ] you know what im saying . Make a gun that shoots divorce papers they will, but with accident forgiveness my thing is like, okay, were from new york. How were we not cheating the allstate wont raise your rates best seth yeah. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a just because of an accident. Like can we we can great show for you tonight cut flash metro cards. We can do anything [ cheers and applause is that good . Hey, yo no you were talking about allstate and. Yo, you get two sacks of she is a talented actress and sbarros i just. When i. Like, yo, curve ball, curve ball. Accident forgiveness from allstate. Star of the fantastic nbc show click or call for a quote today. Hey, hey. [ laughter ] the good place whose Series Finale airs this thursday at 8 30 p. M like, yo, we cant lie we cant cheat like donald trump is from here bang bang, thereness [agoes my bang bang, [ laughter ] like houston beat us . One of our favorites, kristen bell is here come on, bro [ cheers and applause i want my bang bang, i want my bang bang seth yeah, houston. You have actually youve have not only a lot of politicians on their talk show desus mero go bang bang your show. Mmhmm. Seth theyve been great on there goes my bang bang, your show. Returns for its Second Season go bang bang, there goes my bazooka oh, yeah. Seth i think weve seen february 3rd on showtime sides of them we havent seen before desus nice and the kid mero are certainly questions theyve back, everybody. Never seen before. I want to show a clip. Bernie sanders was on your show. [ cheers and applause go bang bang, there goes my bang bang, yup, bernie and we will have music from a seth and showed him shoes. Yes fantastic band yes seth and asked him to guess i want my mind blown, i want my mind blown the prices Little Big Town is joining us again, as well yes thats right because if you were so happy to see them go bang bang, there goes my bazooka have someone running for president , you want to ask them about sneakers [ cheers and applause seth yes yes as we get closer to the [ laughter ] election, many celebrities have seth and it safe to say he was very surprised at how much started publicly endorsing oh, that is an understatement president ial candidates. Lets just say that Bernie Sanders wont be standing tom hanks has endorsed in front of the Supreme Store joe biden. Anytime soon [ laughter ] seth how would you describe megan rapino has endorsed the face he makes when you tell Elizabeth Warren him . It was like bringing home a and judge judy has endorsed report card to my parents. Michael bloomberg. And recently, classic r b yo, seriously [ laughter ] i felt Bernie Sanders was singer, anita baker, through her about to spank me. [ laughter ] support behind president ial seth lets take a lets take a look. Candidate andrew yang. Have you ever stepped in dog [ bleep ] barefoot [ laughter ] when that happened, one of my seth thats what it looks writers, amber ruffin, ran into like how much do you think this retails for . My office and said, we have to 100 bucks do something about this. 100 bucks and i said, ill be honest, whats the resale on these bad boys is it amber, i dont think that its that big of a story. [ register ringing ] 1,500. 1,500. But i am not a wellrespected boss 1,500. [ laughter ] last one was 1,500. Right . [ laughter ] right so please welcome mmhmm. What was this 250 250. Whats the resale on this . Ambernita baker [ cheers and applause [ register ringing ] seth welcome back, everybody. 4,500. Give it up for the 8g band right over there 4,500. 4,500. A. K. A two honda civics. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause m joining us again on drums [ laughter ] with all my heart tonight, hes an incredible this is a status thing . Musician who for the last three yes its a flex its a flex. Youre not a big flexer i love drew baby years has played with one of you float my boa rocks most innovative artists, [ laughter ] beck and you get my vote check out his latest album, hyperspace. [ cheers and applause my vote bernie got and see beck out on tour this seth you got him so much is for you bab year i have so much respect for Chris Coleman is here everybody. Bernie [ cheers and applause bernie never pretends like he never leav never caters to the audience thank you for being here, chris. Thank you seth our first guest tonight yeah, i know. Is a talented actress you know bernie says how it is seth yeah. Honestly. Cause i believe from Veronica Mars and seth you also had a. O. C. On your show. Frozen and most recently as shout out to the a. O. C. , the in this yan eleanor in the critically homie. Acclaimed the good place. [ cheers and applause seth and shes on shes sweet yang the show Series Finale will air touring with bernie right now. This thursday at he was not in the debate 8 30 7 30 central on nbc theyre hes still doing great lets take a look. Andrew yang were finally headed to the seth you know, hes caught good place up with impeachment. Its the me of places shes actually on the campaign yang gang trail in iowa on his behalf. I got in i can say stuff like that again. Mmhmm. Seth what do you think about the idea two of them sometimes seth yeah, just sorry. Go out together on the road and real quick, amber, how quickly are you sure were going the thousands of people show up. Its beautiful, man after you read this news story right way, janet first off, i was like, theyre touring did you write this song . Well, ive never been to the this sounds like the worst version of a star is born. [ laughter ] i wrote it as i read the good place before. But, yes, im sure its actually really, really, tweet. Really good. [ laughter ] cause i dont if you remember how that album of tony bennett and lady gaga cut together you know youre o because it feels like im on the right path my way home. Seth yeah. Yeah. When your candidat that was a joint. Loves math [ laughter ] theres no stronger vot flying puppy i want to see bearnie i want to see bernie come out i could cast youre almost there like just a little further tell me something boy [ laughter ] flying puppies . Sh what do you think of dang it, Michael Bloomberg . Obviously, a new york candidate. Bloomberg has too much money. Yo, stop. Why didnt you think of that for seth yeah. Your neighborhood . Seth please welcome back to you dont have to run for the show kristen bell, everybody. President. Stop making money you could play fortnite he can do anything seth yeah. [ laughter ] bro, just buy a lot of video [ cheers and applause games. The only thing with bloomberg is im like, if i had that much money would i run for president or would i just buy my own private island and, like, sunbathe naked . Run it. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] he can do anything else he could probably be buying the bronx. Seth i do want to get your take on this lets look real quick at what he did when he oh, yeah seth met a dog the other day. Seth how are you wonderful oh, boy seth its very bittersweet [ laughter ] that the good place is coming to a close tomorrow. Tell me about it, i know. What is this . Seth and i was very i got what is this to see yo, okay im not going to cry. Clearly right before bloomberg seth youre not going to cry. Well you its already ended met this dog, he was on for you to some degree, yeah wikipedia like, how to meet dog. [ laughter ] yes, yes. Seth so youve had time to deal with it like, just him and zuckerberg process it. We finished shooting, yeah are like, yo, canines seth i think the rest of us will likely cry. Camels youre going to cry [ laughter ] hello. Hello. Yeah mans best friend seth i saw one of my hello, fighters. Favorite things about the show hello, rex is you all genuinely seem to hello. Would you like to ingest my like each other in real life hand . Oh, for sure. Seth i also want to mention seth and i saw you at the real quick critics Choice Awards im so excited godlevel knowledge darts life you were at a table with all your cast mates. Lessons from the bronx. Yeah. Seth you were honored. Boom. But i do want to ask this, seth thats coming up. Thats right. Because weve talked before at seth april 14th i believe, an emmys. You performed at the opening of and so excited to read what you guys have to say yeah. Its going to be great seth always a delight to an emmys. Have you here. Always great to have you as well [ cheers and applause seth thank you so much that sounds right desus nice, the kid mero Second Season desus mero. Seth and you immediately monday on showtime well be right back with more then left and got in your car and went home. Oh, yeah, i remember. Yeah seth yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] late night. No, thats what i do at all of them, though. [ cheers and applause well, because the reality and you know, because you have two little kids, its like, i would we find ourselves in challenging times love to be in this room with all these fancy wonderful people but i have either got to be up super early with them or they wake up all night. Or and if youre taking skyrizi seth yeah. So i do what i do on stage. For moderate to Severe Plaque Psoriasis i walk off stage Financial Assistance may be available i walk out to the car, and i wave goodbye to help you afford your medication. [ laughter ] and thats kind of like my m. O im a big fan of that. Skyrizi may increase your risk of infections its an irish goodbye. French goodbye and lower your ability to fight them. Seth yeah, i think its an before treatment your doctor should irish goodbye. The its kristen goodbye seth yes check you for infections and tuberculosis. You received a very nice honor at the critics Choice Awards tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms yeah, i did such as fever, sweats, chills, muscle aches, or coughs. Seth which was the seeher award. Yeah. Seth which is about or if you plan to or recently received a vaccine. Authentic representation for women in media if you cant afford your medicine, yeah. Complexity in your characters. Which i was so abbvie may be able to help. [ cheers and applause seth it was really cool. Thank you i was so honored to get. But in truth ive never received guys guys safe drivers save 40 an award like that before. Safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 and i wasnt prepared for, i thats safe drivers save 40 . Guess, how it goes down. It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . And so i think for the hes right there. Its him ted danson announced me. Safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. And he also spoke slower than he normally does, i think cause he was trying to read the teleprompter and i genuinely didnt know, like, when i was supposed to go up seth right and so i was holding darcys hand and i kept whispering to her am i supposed to go up now . [ light laughter ] do i go up now . cause, like, pacinos in the front row and de niros i dont need them to be waiting for me to, like, saunter up to sthe last thing you should have is having enough toilet paper. The stage. Seth heres the good news. They also have no idea when please know were working around the clock theyre supposed to go anywhere. To get you more charmin. [ laughter ] okay. Well that makes me feel so much stay safe. Better cause i think they got it on tape i think im, like, mouthing it seth they did. You mentioned this and we went and looked and we definitely caught you on tape mouthing it dry spray dries in an instant. [ laughter ] leaving these men with nothing to do in this ad. Oh, no. Okay, well seth lets take a look kristen bell thankfully, weve got something to fill the time, [ cheers and applause instantly putting these guys back into their comfort zone. [ laughter ] dove dry spray dries instantly and keeps you protected for 48 hours. 2 multisurface rubber the roomba robot vacuum. Esantly but, like, it happened a couple more times because he brushes to clean all your floors. Said, kristen bell. And then he paused and he and with patented dirt detect technology, clapped. Dont you feel like roomba finds dirt throughout your home. Seth yeah, right and so if its not from irobot, its not a roomba. Yeah, cause otherwise it does feel like youre sitting in your seat being like, no, more. [ laughter ] yeah, so i look, i botched all this cheesing is rather andpleasing. Zzarella. It but i was very happy to receive it and [laughing] seth you gave a beautiful speech as well thank you seth and welldeserved yep. Tastes like a million bucks. The last time your husband, dax shepard was hehohave done new pepperoni cheeser cheeser, only seven dollars pizza pizza the hot ones challenge yeah, ba. Seth it was the best fantastic experience love that hot ones. [ cheers and applause seth but he you guys i believe it was a ghost what was it . It was chocolate it was chocolate . Seth yeah. Look, my husband is a Prostate Cancer awareness ambassador great. Theres a chocolate. Its a challenge eat this spicy chocolate challenge someone to do it kind of, like, ice bucket great, well do it we love hot stuff. None of us have taste buds any more we sit at home we open the camera we start to eat it whoa [ light laughter ] i had no problem with hot ones and i will truly tell you if i had the opportunity to go through labor again or eat that chocolate, i would pick labor a thousand times over. Seth really . [ laughter ] and at the end of the video, it sucks and. L music fades in . We ruined it, because at the end of the video were, like, hey hi borderline puking. And were like, we cannot recommend anybody [ laughter ] does this challenge. Its not recommended i mean, just donate to Prostate Cancer research. But it was awful seth how many days until you feel like you were back to normal can i tell you something . Seth yeah. Cut the camera. Brought it up. Seth oh, so it was out of the system pretty quickly. That was not going to sit in the system overnight because [ laughter ] the next mornings issues would have been seth yeah. Like, erissues seth yeah, yeah, yeah. Thats good then so we needed to seth yeah, you just reject it yeah. Theres a moment in the video where he pukes into the [ laughter ] you can watch it its on youtub its really horrifying seth are your kids adventurous with their eating . One of them is. And one of them is not seth uhhuh. But they dont like what my theyre our neighbors. Youngest daughter says, and theyre our friends. Ficy foods. Its too ficy. Theyre our parents. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] our brothers and sisters. But i think she thinks salt is spice, so seth yeah. And our children. [ laughter ] but now, they are more than that. My alexi gets mad at me, because if we go out to brunch or they are forever our heroes, too. Something and we each get an omelet with the kids, you know and before the kids can me at prudential, were fortunate to know and serve them. Ask for a bite, i put hot sauce all over mine. And were grateful to the heroic men and women [ laughter ] and then they i dont think, its just what working on the front line to move our nation forward. Ive always done yeah, thats seth and shes the one with the omelet that the kids can to all the heroes, we thank you. Have and shes like, son of a bitch, what . [ laughter ] yeah, now they eat all my food seth yeah. Thats such is the plight of a mom, though. Seth yeah, exactly i mean, honestly, we could make the same exact meal, and were all sitting at the table and they will just go for mine and all four of us would have the same meal. And they eat off my plate. Not his. Not theirs seth yeah. Sorry, what can you do im a martyr. Seth youre a martyr yeah [ laughter ] kristen bell [ cheers and applause did you mike schur, who created the good place, and who you had worked with before yeah. Seth you worked with him on parks. But he had this idea really laid out. And i think he knew from the beginning that this would not be working on the front line toits just that its. Rd. A show that would be on for gratuity lavender, yes it is. Old spice, its for men. Forever hes like, this show one day is going to end. But i like the smell of it. Seth yeah. And i was like, be optimistic. [music playing] was going to end i dont think any of us foresaw it happening so quickly. Seth yep but the reality is, you know, is in television most writers in television, you guys, like, episode 17 through 21, theyre like, its fluff. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. Just get us to the ending. I dont know if you saw this seth yeah. So i really like these story but years ago a breed of encapsulated seasons where its tortoise called the 12 or 13 episodes, gets people espanola giant tortoise was to watch almost extinct but it has now he figured out what the ending should be and he thought we come back from near extinction could draw it on forever and some people might taper off. Thanks mostly in part to one cause, you know, next episode extremely sexually active jason loses his shoes. Tortoise, diego. Like [ laughter ] seth right, yeah [ laughter ] you dont want to follow that plot line. Who fathered over 800 offspring. But its also a little bit of a this is a true story metaphor about the human diego almost singlehandedly experience, is that its over brought his species back from the brink of extinction. Too soon, and it leaves you wanting a lot more [ laughter ] seth and it will be very and lucky for us, hes here tonight, live via satellite. Please welcome everyone, diego im excited to watch it, but also were going to then live [ cheers and applause talk about it. Im going to host a thing with hey whats up, gentlemen, and more importantly, whats up, ladies you and the rest of the cast im very excited [ laughter ] im so thrilled that youre doing that seth it will be a blast. All of us will be here. Seth welcome, diego. Well all be, like, crazy weeping. It is so nice to have you here especially darcy. So how did it feel to save your watch it if anything for the way darcy cries species . How did it feel [ laughter ] its so cute seth one things because i felt good, seth. Have heard, obviously people my [ laughter ] age love this show it felt good every time. And i know the ladies would but i have heard that kids love this show, because it talks agree. Why . About a lot of things that cause im a tortoise. I take things slow people dont know how to talk to kids about [ laughter ] im a slow poke. Yeah. Seth yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth things like death and we get it, we get it, we get it. What happens when a loved one yeah. Seth diego moves on yeah. Tell me how all this began seth is it something have you started talking to your kids well, turns out the other about that yet is that dudes in my species have yeah, we did have well, yeah, actually something we in the turtle game call ereptile dysfunction. We our daughter when she was five said, am i going to die . [ laughter ] and we both like, the air got so i went on a world tour, blowing backs out to bring my sucked out of the room species back [ laughter ] and we were like, this is it. It was wild, man what do we do . Seth oh, yeah, yeah. There are so many roads. No, it sounds like diego, how many partners would like, do we make up a story . Do we say we dont know . You say you have do we say we know and then all of them actually not know . [ laughter ] and we just said, yes, youre going to die. And she went, eh. Seth, you know why they call every female espanola tortoise dora [ laughter ] cause they al and then we said, and we really dont know what happens when you die. [ laughter ] you may just become flowers. And she went, okay. Seth all right its true seth now that youve done [ laughter ] your part, diego, are you we were, like, so relieved planning on retiring because we did make a commitment no, baby. Never to lie to them im only just beginning. Seth sure. That first 100 years was a warm and thats, like, controversial cause we also up they asked about santa claus as the ladies tell me, im and i was like, im not going turtly in my prime. To lie to you. Seth hes dead hes dead [ laughter ] [ light laughter ] seth did you say turtly . We dont know hes flowers i most turtly did now hes flowers [ laughter ] and i did on tortoise, seth. Seth you did it on tortoise. But i think because of that, our all right. Kids have adopted this very yeah, i say what i want im a celebrity no and this turtle shlong, long, practical sense about the world. Strong and down to get the and so, like, recently their friction on. Grandfather was dying. Seth diego and hes already passed, but [ laughter ] yeah. Seth diego while he was dying, my little yeah . Seth youre over 100 years girl was in the back and she said when, so, when old. Papa dies, cause we knew it do you ever i dont know. Do you ever wish you could just was days, are we going to come settle down . To oregon with you . Oh, uh, i mean, yeah, i and i was like, yeah, youll come. And she said, okay. Do i need to bring my shovel, because i have a garden set. [ laughter ] it doesnt feel good to be over and i said, why would you pack 100 years old and still sleeping your shovel, honey . Around you know she goes, well, i want to help [ light laughter ] i visit my friends and their bury him families and they just look so happy. Where do we do it . Their wives. The side of the house or [ laughter ] my kids. Like, so practical [ laughter ] im just a lonely tortoise in seth yeah. And, like, wanted to help and then i had to explain to her search of a soul mate. We you know, we dont bury him on the side of the house, and, you know, i guess i am because its not legal but using this as an excuse to find love you know [ laughter ] hoping each relationship wont she genuinely wanted to, like, be my last bury her grandfather seth well, that was that was actually nice. Seth yeah. And i thought, like, theres something weirdly, oddly you know, i have to say, i thought you were a creep but now beautiful about that i see youre really a sensitive like, shes a younger member of the family contributing to an guy. Older members peaceful passing and thats how you get laid on seth dammit. Whoo. [ laughter ] seth diego the tortoise, everyone seth yeah. Were back with music from Little Big Town. It is yes, theres a real circle of life to that some people could say shes a sociopath. Seth yes i dont [ laughter ] im not going down that route. Seth and you certainly i [ cheers and applause think it would have been worth hearing what she was saying as she was throwing dirt on right, right, sure. Seth you know, that might have revealed, like, a lot more than what were talking about now. It is so wonderful to have you here im going to see you tomorrow. Yes seth i cant wait for that im so happy. Seth thank you so much for letting me be a part of that [ cheers and applause kristen bell, everybody. Dont miss the Series Finale of the good place tomorrow night at 8 30 7 30 central here on nbc. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause sweetheart, do my forearms look bigger . They look the same. Ive been spinning faster recently. I think theyre getting bigger. Feel them. [ television plays indistinctly ] yeah, they kind of feel bigger. Yeah, cool. [ grunts ] sorry. Switch to progressive and you can save hundreds you know, like the sign says. Switch to progressive and you can save hundreds for my mother,vo iit was a very difficult time. But she wasnt alone. Everybody tried to do what they could to help. We can get through this. We all have the strength to do it. Ive seen it. [laughs] all this cheesing is rather andpleasing. Zzarella. [laughing] yep. Tastes like a million bucks. New pepperoni cheeser cheeser, only seven dollars pizza pizza [ cheers and applause thats a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. Our gummies contain a unique botanical blend, while an optimal melatonin level seth their latest album means no nextday grogginess. Nightfall debuted at number one on the billboards top zzzquil pure zzzs. Country albums chart naturally superior sleep. Back on our show to perform next to you give it up for Little Big Town. A new moment in wireless has begun. [ cheers and applause tmobile and sprint are joining forces. Bab by bringing together our two networks, tmobile will build americas largest and most reliable 5g network. I dont wanna talk right now stop with more towers, more engineers, and more coverage. I need a little space youll get the best 5g network, and the best prices. Welcome to tmobile. Ooh ooh americas largest 5g network. Trust toyota to be here for you. Wait i didnt mean t your toyota dealers are offering say it like that so many ways for you to save, stay on our most popular toyotas, like camry, rav4 and tacoma. A little longer pleas and toyota will defer your payments up to 90 days. I sleep a little deepe when youre next to me you can even shop and buy online from the comfort of your home. All from the brand you trust. Today and tomorrow. Toyota. Dont you kno youre the fire in my bone youre my heart and my hom ooh and i kno i dont say it enoug ive been down on my luc my luck but ill be fin in the mornin next to you ooh think im losin my mind agai go slo touch me like you do lov come a little closer now i breath a little deeper when im next to you and dont you kno [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, youre the fire in my bone everybody. So, i dont know if you saw but youre my heart and my hom jeopardy, which has been on the air since 1964, held its greatest of all time ooh tournament earlier this month and ken jennings ended up winning the title the greatest and i kno of all time. Well, things like this, they i dont say it enoug always get me to thinking. You know, im getting older and ive been down on my luc sometimes i look around and, my luck well, i dont even recognize the world im living in any more [ light laughter ] things are changing every day but ill be fin and if im honest, not always in the mornin next to you for the better [ light laughter ] and sometimes i like to take a moment to talk about how things were just a bit more simple, back in my day. [ cheers and applause oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh o seth back in my day, ken jennings wasnt the greatest oh oh oh oh oh o jeopardy player of all time. No, the greatest jeopardy oh oh oh oh player of all time was me. [ light laughter ] oh oh oh oh oh oh after i dvrd the show, watched it with my 85yearold neighbor, oh oh oh o pretended it was live and oh oh oh oh oh o hustled him out of 200 bucks oh oh oh oh [ laughter ] what is the dumbest generation [ light laughter ] oh oh oh oh oh oh back in my day, we werent all oh oh oh o drinking white claw alcoholic seltzer, no sir. Oh oh oh o you wanted some spiked water, you poured vodka into a Poland Spring bottle like a normal person. Oh oh oh oh [ laughter ] that way you could still go to class without getting hassled by oh oh oh oh oh oh the professor. [ laughter ] sure she might know somethings up by the way you kept calling jay gatsby a bitch oh oh oh o [ laughter ] but part of her also respected oh oh oh oh oh o you. [ laughter ] because you could definitely smell the whiskey in her coffee. Oh oh oh oh [ light laughter ] cheers, mrs. Rigby, i hope you found whatever it was you were looking for. Ill be fine in the mornin probably more whiskey. [ laughter ] back in my day the new york [ cheers and applause times wasnt hedging their bets, endorsing two candidates Little Big Town, everyone are you kidding me back then the New York Times nightfall is out now knew the only effective way to go to littlebigtown. Com for dates to the nightfall tour. Endorse a candidate is to pick my thanks for kristen bell, your absolute favorite candidate and stick with them. Desus and mero, Little Big Town. [ cheers and applause and thats how president Hillary Clinton won the Chris Coleman, the 8g band 2016 election. Stay tuned for lilly singh well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause [ dog bark ] thats right, rusty, because everyone did pokemon go to the polls. [ dog bark ] [ light laughter ] back in my day, the Supreme Court wasnt ruling that immigrants had to meet a certain wealth requirement to come to america. [ cheers and applause no siree bob. Lilly tonight on a little late with lilly singh, im going to let my writers compete back in my day, immigrants would in a friendly competition to write the monologue live on stage. Time to get slimed then, i sit down with one of the worlds greatest fashion icons, come to america emptyhanded tyra banks [ cheers and applause with dreams in their eyes. And they only became wealthy once they married donald trump smize is not yet in the [ laughter ] dictionary ms. Merriam, you betta recosmize [ applause ] [ cheers and applause lilly and we try out hands out on recreating some of the most popular gifs. Back in my day, people werent posting stories on instagram oh, g [ cheers and applause no sir oh, yeah if you wanted to follow every lilly do i have what it mundane fact about a persons takes to be a model . All right, let me see your fiercest pose. Day, you did it the Old Fashioned way by skeeving on their twitter account. Lilly all right, ready [ cheers and applause what did you think [ dog barks i dont want to follow you on i just got a little jealous social media, rusty. [ dog barks because youre problematic [ laughter ] [ dog barks oh, really well, i can prove it by looking at your instagram story. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] [ dog growling ] back in my day, we werent scared about getting the coronavirus. Nope we were scared about getting ebola. The bird flu the comeback of the measles. Mers sars and of course, skarsgard now, that last one was an actor, but he did scare me in true blood. [ laughter ] back in my day, we werent all listening to lizzo we were listening to rizzo from the hit movie musical grease. [ laughter ] now, rizzo was interesting, because on the one hand she was a high school student, but on the other hand the actress who player her was well into her 30s. [ laughter ] i remember there was a plot about her maybe being pregnant, and i was like, with what, her third child . [ laughter ] anyway anyway, the main point of grease is if you really like a guy you should change everything about yourself and take up smoking for him. [ laughter ] back in my day, the astros werent stealing signs to win the world series knuckle balls [ light laughter ] back in my day, the only signs we stole were the mile marker 69 signs from the interstate that we would hang up in our basement and it was hilarious [ laughter ] back in my day, harry and meghan werent causing a problem for the royal family by moving to canada no, back in my day people were generally happy when their 35yearold married son decided to move out of the house [ laughter ] it was a sign of progress that he was growing up. Also, backn royals werent stepping back from their duties, bney sweeps back in my day, british royals stepped back from their duties, because the press found out they were long time friends with Jeffrey Epstein. [ dog barks Jeffrey Epstein was misunderstood, where did you read that . [ laughter ] [ dog barks [ dog growling ] i want to give you the Mike Bloomberg [ dog growling ] [ laughter ] back in my day, people werent traveling to the bronx to dance on the steps from the joker movie. No, back then, you only went to the bronx three times a year once to go to the zoo, once to go to a yankees game, and the third time because your dad missed the exit for the George Washington bridge [ laughter ] and then spent the next 15 minutes yelling at himself in the car. [ laughter ] i can still remember what my old man would say. Oh, [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ] me out of [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] goddamn [ bleep ] turn signal. [ bleep ]eating [ bleep ] cucumber mother [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause i love you, dad. [ laughter ] hes not dead, hes just upstairs [ laughter ] well, im sorry but sometimes this grouchy old gas guzzlers got a gripe the hell out [ cheers and applause this was back in my day. 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I can bring them in, i can actually share my screen and show t x were living on teams. Its as simple as that. Ibut youre not alone. Apart for a bit, were automatically refunding our customers a portion of their personal auto premiums. Learn more at libertymutual. Com covid19. [ piano playing ] right now, theres over a million Walmart Associates doing their best to keep our nation going, while keeping us safe. Weve given masks to all our people and were helping our customers practice social distancing in stores. Weve implemented shorter hours, so we can sanitize our stores from top to bottom while also restocking our products. But if anything, these days have reminded us why we do what we do. Because despite everything thats changed, one thing hasnt, and thats our devotion to you and our communities. Were working together, instore and online, through pickup and delivery, to make sure you can still get the essentials you need. And as we move forward, know that our First Priority will always be to keep you and our associates safe. [ cheers and applause seth our next guests are the very funny hosts of the showtime show desus mero which returns for its Second Season this monday. Their book godlevel knowledge darts life lessons from the bronx comes out april 14th and is available for preorder now. Please welcome back to the show, our friends desus nice and the kid mero [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, gentlemen. So glad to be back, seth. Seth always happy to have you here oh, my god. We love it here. Seth much like kristen bell, saw you guys at the critics Choice Awards. We were actually
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