President trump was impeached today. Though i think its a little like having a raccoon in your garage and poking it with a broom. Its still there, its just mad now. President trump was on twitter during todays Impeachment Vote and accused democrats of carrying out quote an assault on america and an assault on the Republican Party filled with atrocious lies by the radical left. [ laughter ] i feel like we elected a 2 00 a. M. Mattress commercial as president. Why do you always have to use all caps honestly i cant wait until trump is finally out of office and the only time we see all caps is when joe biden smiles. [ laughter ] according to a new report, women worldwide will not receive equal pay to men until the year 2277 in that case, let it all burn, [ cheers and applause a new study has found that iceland is the most genderequal country in the world, because it turns out its pretty hard to discriminate based on gender when everyones wearing 12 layers. [ laughter ] the Motion Picture academy has released its short list for Oscar Nominations for best original song, which does not include taylor swifts work from the movie cats. When asked when they didnt consider cats, the academy said, oh [ laughter ] a man was arrested in tennessee recently after a drugsniffing dog discovered that he had more than 80 pounds of marijuana disguised as Christmas Gifts either that or they were Christmas Gifts. [ laughter ] howd you know the first reviews of the new star wars sequel the rise of skywalker came out today and generated a largely negative response from critics. So in an act of desperation, theyve added an even babier yoda [ laughter ] they dont just show up, they got to be born [ light laughter ] and finally, a new york woman filed a lawsuit this week against a manhattan bar called the stumble inn after she allegedly fell down the stairs [ laughter ] which is still better than what happened to her at senor knife fights [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight [ cheers and applause he is an Emmy Awardwinning comedian whose upcoming special john mulaney and the sack lunch bunch begins streaming on netflix december 24th. My very good friend john mulaney is here, everybody [ cheers and applause im so happy hes back and he is the star of reprisal currently streaming on hulu. Rodrigo santoro joins us tonight as well, so youre here on a good night [ cheers and applause before we get to our guests, today, donald trump became the third president in history to be impeached. For more on this its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth well, here we are President Trump has been impeached. You know already cheated in one election, obstructed justice in the investigation of that election, used his office to enrich himself, solicited bribes, inflicted human rights abuses on migrant families, been accused of sexual assault, had six Close Associates indicted or jailed, you remember that guy . [ laughter ] no, you know, the guy who almost definitely committed tax fraud, admitted he broke the law by misusing his personal charity to help his campaign, began his presidency by settling a Fraud Lawsuit over his scam university, orchestrated an extortion scheme to cheat in the 2020 election, tried to cover it up, got caught, obstructed congress, directed an illegal scheme to pay hush money to cover up an affair, and drove his golf cart onto the green [ laughter and applause yeah, that guy and yet, republicans are still pretending to be surprised that there are people who take issue with President Trump this is like one of those news stories where a guy gets arrested for being a serial killer for 40 years and reporters go to his neighbors and ask, did you suspect anything . And they say, well, one time, i saw him with a chainsaw wearing a hockey mask, but i just assumed he was a lumberjack who played in the nhl. [ laughter ] now as we tape this, were expecting the actual final vote to impeach donald trump to happen any minute now. I mean like right after we tape this and because were taping right before the vote, that means we dont have video of the actual moment trump was impeached. So as a placeholder, wed like to show you the second most embarrassing thing to happen to donald trump this clip of him getting on air force one with toilet paper [ laughter and applause stuck to his shoe. Because much like the toilet paper, impeachment will follow trump wherever he goes [ laughter and applause in fact, i hope they put the toilet paper in the smithsonian next to the articles of impeachment. [ laughter ] now after a series of procedural votes in the house this morning, there were hours of debate on the actual articles themselves and to give you an idea of the contrast between the two sides, heres a sampling of some of the proimpeachment speeches during the floor debate it is tragic that the president s reckless actions make impeachment necessary he gave us no choice President Trump has demonstrated a clear pattern of wrongdoing no one in america could do what donald trump did and get away with it and it is our duty to impeach him. No president may cheat the people by working with foreign governments to steal from us, a free and Fair Election he solicited foreign interference before. He is doing it now and he will do it again. The president is the smoking gun. Seth its true, trump broke the law in plain sight and admitted it. He is the smoking gun. Its like if the cop showed up to the crime scene and there was Trump Holding a gun with his name on it and a piece of toilet paper on the ground with his shoe print [ laughter ] now compare those speeches presenting evidence of trumps impeachable offenses to the whiny rambling of the i strongly oppose the articles before us today. And i hope that we will finally move past this nightmare the matter before the house today is based solely on a fundamental hatred of our president. Its a sham, a witch hunt, and its tantamount to a coup. Hes rebuilding our military he helped create the space force. We tied up the intelligence committee. We tied up the judiciary committee. And, oh, by the way, the ways and Means Committee had to give up their room. They couldnt even meet while you were doing all of this they want to take away my vote and throw it in the trash. They want to take away my president. I believe the democrats are tearing this country apart theyre tearing families apart seth first of all, it is rich to accuse democrats of tearing families apart to defend a president who is literally tearing families apart second [ cheers and applause second, they all sound like bratty teens yelling at their parents. Stop coming in my room, youre tearing this family apart i have to build my lego space force [ laughter ] so the house passed two articles of impeachment against trump but if you ask me, he got off easy with only two remember that dumb press Conference Trump did before he was inaugurated where he lied and said hed hand off control of his businesses to his weird gargoyle sons . [ laughter ] and stood next to stacks of folders full of business documents that turned out to be blank, and then, for some reason, just wandered off the stage like a confused old man . [ laughter ] democrats should have done that but with articles of impeachment. This folder is for soliciting bribes this folder for human rights abuses and this folder is for the way trump stands with his chest puffed out, you know like hes trying to get his hoverboard to go forward [ laughter ] it looks like hes waiting for someone to throw bird seed on the ground so he can peck at it. [ laughter ] so trump is now the third president in history to be impeached. Now obviously, hell very likely be acquitted by the Republican Senate but still, this judgment will follow his name in history forever. And as we all know, theres nothing donald trump cares about more than his name he puts it on everything from his tower to his helicopter to his private jet. Theyre going to have to change the name from trump to impeachment airlines. [ laughter ] okay folks, were going to fly you about halfway to your destination, and then, another airline will have to take you the rest of the way. [ laughter ] in fact, trump cares so much about protecting his name and his place in history, which will be permanently marred by impeachment, that yesterday, he sent what can only be described as a truly deranged sixpage letter to House Speaker nancy pelosi whining about impeachment. Before we get into the worst parts of the letter, just listen to how it starts this is the first line dear madam speaker, i write to express my strongest and most powerful protest against the partisan impeachment crusade. All right, first of all, weve already seen your strongest and most powerful protests all those times in the oval office where you scream like a lunatic. I mean, look at him. [ laughter ] he looks like something your tour guide would tell you to stay away from during a boat ride through the amazon river. [ laughter ] but trumps letter just gets crazier. Heres just a sampling of some of the most bat [ bleep ] lines from this official document on white house letterhead and just for fun, im going to read it like a cartoon villain you have cheapened the importance of the very ugly word impeachment. You are declaring open war on american democracy it is a terrible thing you are doing, but you will have to live with it, not i [ laughter ] you have developed a fullfledged case of what many in the media call trump derangement and sadly, you will never get over it. You are the ones bringing pain and suffering to our republic for your own selfish personal, political and partisan gain. Once the phone call was made public, your whole plot blew up. But that didnt stop you from continuing, and now, i will twirl my mustache while i tie you to these railroad tracks. [ laughter ] but my favorite line from trumps insane letter is this. Since the moment i won the election, the Democratic Party has been possessed by impeachment fever. Impeachment fever sounds like hes narrating an old newsreel about the beatles landing in america. [ light laughter ] impeachment fever is sweeping the nation look at the throngs of teenagers screaming as they greet the fab four pelosi, schumer, schiff, and dont forget the dumb one, donald [ laughter ] uhoh, looks like hes having trouble with his umbrella again. [ laughter and applause but i think maybe the most insane line from trumps letter was this more due process was afforded to those accused in the salem witch trials. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] thats right, trump compared impeachment to the salem witch trials but hey, you know, at least they didnt compare it to the bible i mean, that would be insane i mean, even republicans arent deranged enough to compare trump to jesus i want you to keep this in mind when jesus was falsely accused of treason, Pontius Pilate gave jesus the opportunity to face his accusers during that sham trial, Pontius Pilate afforded more rights to jesus than the democrats have afforded this president in this process. Seth jesus [ laughter and applause i mean i mean that literally, they actually compared him to [ applause ] these people are out of their minds. Soon, theyre going to start claiming they saw images of trump appear in their food it was a miracle, i saw trumps face in a piece of toast [ laughter ] but trump has also been complaining that democrats are abusing the impeachment process as was laid out in the constitution and in particular, trump has complained multiple times recently that impeachment is only supposed to be used sparingly and reserved for president s who have committed even more crimes than he has it meant something. When you had serious high crimes and misdemeanors when you had serious crimes its impeachment that would happen every 50 years, every 40 years, every 100 years. This was a big deal. I think its a horrible thing to be using the tool of impeachment, which is supposed to be used in an emergency, and it would seem many, many, many years apart. Seth its not supposed to be many, many, many years apart impeachments not halleys comet. Its a fire truck. It shows up when theres a fire. [ light laughter ] youre not allowed to say, we can only use that hydrant once every 50 years, sorry about your house. [ light laughter ] trump also continued to put his republican supporters in a bind by insisting that the phone call with the president of ukraine was not just unimpeachable but perfect. And he refused to take any responsibility at all for what was happening to him mr. President , do you take any responsibility for the fact that youre about to be impeached nope, i dont take any, zero, to put it mildly [ light laughter ] they took a perfect phone call that i had with the president of ukraine, an absolutely perfect call you know it, they all know it, nothing was said wrong in that call seth no, we dont know that, because its not true. Trumps like a guy at a party telling you an embarrassing story who assumes the same thing has happened to you. The other night, i ate too much chili, got drunk, went to karaoke, puked, slipped on the puke, farted and split my pants. You know guys, youve been there, weve all been there. [ laughter and applause whenever trump does this, he makes it impossible for even his staunchest allies to defend him. Just take gop congressman doug collins who was asked during yesterdays impeachment hearing, was trumps call perfect . And collins, instead of answering the simple question, spewed a bunch of incoherent nonsense until he just gave up was the president s call with president zelensky perfect, as the president has said and was it appropriate for him to ask another country to investigate an american citizen . I there was nothing ive said before this before there was nothing wrong with the call and when you look at it and again, i frankly, the last the problem im having right now is exactly the last 15 minutes of this. Great oratory on a lot of things that mean nothing to this actual impeachment. I mean, we get down to the bottom line here, and ill just leave it at that. Let him answer that question, ill get back to it later. Because everything has been thrown out here is exactly the what the problem weve had in the discussion, and this idea of throwing law in fact, weve disproven the facts, weve talked about the law and wrote didnt put it in so im not i can yell them both, i can talk about both of them the problem we have here is, is this is the very problem we have and ill just address one thing before i let it back, or if you want me to switch right now i will [ laughter ] seth oh my god, what are you talking about . [ laughter ] hes like the worst taboo partner in history [ laughter ] you know the guy who just keeps repeating the same words really fast like its going to help okay, its like, uh, okay, you know, how when theres nothing wrong, you know, like, how sometimes youre wrong except its not wrong, so theres nothing wrong, you know, the opposite of wrong, you did nothing wrong, its not wrong, theres nothing wrong. [ buzzer ] the answer was perfect, it was a perfect call. Like his fellow republicans [ applause ] collins has also been complaining about the impeachment process itself during both todays hearing and yesterdays hearing, he claimed democrats were rushing the Impeachment Vote but he kept repeating a bizarre analogy that was very hard to follow the clock and the calendar are terrible masters they do not care about anything except getting the time done and the calendar fixed they do not care about facts, they do not care about time. And one day, the clock and the calendar will hang along this body in a very detrimental way the clock and the calendar are terrible masters [ laughter ] and the majority will own that problem today. Because to clock and the calendar, facts dont matter the clock and the calendar are terrible masters and they lead to awful results and yes, there will be a day of reckoning. The calendar and the clock will continue [ laughter ] and so, whatever you may gain will be short lived. Because the clock and the calendar also recognize common sense. Seth what does that mean [ laughter ] the clock and the calendar are terrible masters, but they also recognize common sense. That sounds like an english translation of a german fairytale designed to make children work harder [ laughter ] it sounds like Werner Herzog narrating one of his documentaries. Nature has two primal forces, the clock and the calendar and they are terrible masters, but they understand common sense. And you cannot outsmart them if you befriend the clock, the calendar will kill you in your sleep. And the clock will laugh [ laughter ] ticktock, ticktock, that is that is how a clock laughs a clock is always laughing at you. [ laughter ] so the president is an adult lunatic with a tenuous grasp on reality propped up by a party and a rightwing media apparatus that lies and rambles nonsensically. In fact, the republican contribution to the impeachment debate today was basically a competition to see who can be more sycophantic towards trump weve already had comparisons to the salem witch trials and jesus. At then, at one point today, a gop congressman literally asked for a moment of silence for the people who voted for trump so i want to use my time to call on this chamber, for members to rise and observe a moment of silent reflection. To give every member here the chance to pause for a moment and remember the voices of the 63 million American Voters the democrats today are wanting to silence. Seth all right if the 63 million who voted for trump get a moment of silence, can we also have a moment for the 66 million who voted against him to go, whaaaaat the what . Among the many important takeaways from today, theres one very simple one that everyone should remember and its this. Impeachment is popular and donald trump is not. Consistently in poll after poll about half americans say trump should be impeached and removed from office. Even a fox news poll found this week that 54 of americans wanted trump impeached and thats fox news, trumps Favorite Channel that would be like if the Game Show Network changed their slogan to okay, boomer. [ laughter ] what all of this comes down to is Pretty Simple republicans believe that if you challenge their power, you are illegitimate thats why they gerrymander, stack the court, suppress votes and cheat in elections and thats why impeachment was necessary, because we live in a democracy. And trump tried to corrupt that democracy by cheating. And now, hes the third president ever to be impeached history will remember this day, because if you learn anything from republicans, its that trump will not be able to run away from the clock and the calendar. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with john mulaney, everybody [ cheers and applause no matter how much life pushes us around. Love you. So stupid. I dont want to talk about it. She keeps us centered. With those three little words. Look around you. Introducing the center of me collection. Because every your love keeps me centered begins with kay. Cake in the Conference Room showing em youre ready. To be your own boss. Thats the beauty of your smile. Crests three dimensional whitening. Removes stains,. Whitens inbetween teeth. And protects from future stains. Crest. Healthy, beautiful smiles for life. What is this . Nongenemodi. Nongen. Oh, triscuit is nongenetically modified. Nongenemodiscuit. Triscuit is nongmo project verified. Triscuit. Make scuit happen. I am also not geneticallymodified. beaker me me mah . chef no no no. Not de bunoney. De pepe. Es verde pepe. beaker ohhh chef not de flour. De pepe. beaker ah. Ah chef yeah de pepe beaker ah ah ah fozzie vo portal from facebook. makeawish child i got this for y ou. vo when you share the love, you change lives. Over twentytwo hundred wishes granted. More than fifty seven thousand pets supported. Over one hundred National Parks protected. Over two million meals provided. Through the subaru share the love event subaru will have proudly donated over one hundred seventy Million Dollars to national and Hometown Charities over twelve years. shelter attendant thank you. grandfather thank you. senior thank you. makeawish child thank you. [ cheers and applause seth hey, everybody, give it up for fred armisen and the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause our first guest tonight is an Emmy Awardwinning comedian you know from his work on saturday night live and such shows as oh, hello and kid gorgeous at radio city. His new special john mulaney and the sack lunch bunch premieres december 24th on netflix. Please welcome back to the show our very good friend john mulaney [ cheers and applause seth how are you, my friend . Im good, how are you seth im great nice to see you seth i [ cheers and applause you were kind enough you were kind enough to send me a cut of this last month. This is such a wonderful special. Oh, thank you im glad you liked that. Seth it is you, it is some other adult guest stars, like people like richard kind, natasha, and Jake Gyllenhaal yeah. Seth but mostly its kids. Oh, yeah, its me and 15 kids ages 8 to 13 seth and why did you have this idea to work with children . I thought it would be funny, and i had i needed something to do. [ laughter ] and Marika Sawyer who you know very well. Seth yes, a fantastic writer amazing comedy writer who i worked with at saturday night live a lot. We always wanted to write for kids weve wanted them to add kids to the cast of snl at one point and have, like, a little update that they would cut to seth right [ laughter ] so theyd go from seth and amy to two kids. And lorne was like, were not doing that. So [ laughter ] so we had this idea. And then i just started thinking about writing kids talking like me. And i thought, thats great. [ light laughter ] so theres theres some of that and then theres big musical numbers. You know, keep people entertained. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and then we also interviewed them a lot on camera seth that is i mean, the songs are fantastic. And im not the least surprised by that. But one of the parts that really resonates is the kids talk directly to camera, you hear your voice, you hear rhys thomas, the wonderful director yeah, rhys thomas, our director, yeah seth americas voice and a lot of what they talk about is the things theyre afraid of. Yes, we asked them what their biggest fears were and then seth were you surprised by their answers . Yeah. Because [ light laughter ] do you know, like i thought like its 2019. I was born in 1982 so, you know, like when i was 7, everyone was afraid of, like, tarantulas you know seth yeah. And i wonder what kids in 2019 are afraid of and, like you can speculate from the news and everything. And a lot of kids are still afraid of tarantulas seth yeah. [ laughter ] and i dont know why. Like, theyre really not a thing you come into contact with seth yeah. But [ laughter ] seth certainly not in new york city. I want to point out, this is everybody at the premiere. Oh, yes seth which is fantastic. They all dressed up. And when i first met you, you they sorry, they demanded that it be black tie [ laughter ] we were on set one day in july and they went, is there going to be a premiere . And i was like, yeah. And theyre like, with a red carpet . And i was like, yeah. And theyre like, and everyone dresses fancy . And i was like, all right, yeah. [ laughter ] seth i like this, because i feel like when i first met you, you sometimes look like a kid who was dressed up like an adult. [ laughter ] yes yes. Seth and its fun to see you with that what that actually looks like. Yeah yes, this was me on an average show night, yeah [ laughter ] seth what was what was it like auditioning then . Oh, well it was it was you know, it started off like 50, or 60 kids and we would have theyd come in and do a song and sometimes a kid would you could tell like, oh, she might be good at this type of energy. So sometimes wed assign them a song so this very talented young girl, lexie, we told her to do you ought to know by Alanis Morisette [ light laughter ] and we told her parents, could you have her prepare you ought to know . And she came in and she said, i have you ought to know to sing by Alanis Morisette. And we were like, great, and shes like, but just the appropriate parts, and i was [ laughter ] i was like, what . And shes like, just the appropriate parts. [ laughter ] and i was like, oh yeah, yeah, dont, yeah. [ laughter ] seth you forgot. I forgot the whole point of the song [ laughter ] then we talked to them, like, just kind of loosely interview style. I gave them i had a couple of questions. And then there was one round of kids where id say, fill in the blank, america has a lot of blank. And so id say, america has a lot of , and some kids said, like, hamburgers. And some kids would choke and be like, uh. And some kids would say, people. And this kid, alex bello, whos very talented, whos in the special. I said, america has a lot of , and he said, work to do. [ laughter and applause seth you youve talked i think it was your last special about how you were not going to you dont want to have kids yeah. Seth and do you have any seth i have a couple, yeah yeah. [ light laughter ] seth sometimes i do. Most of the time im happy, sometimes i wished id talk to you. Yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] seth do you talk to you wish you had more free time, you know seth yeah. Yeah. Seth youve talked to them about it, though yeah, yeah. Seth i mean, they must have been curious one time one time on set we were holding for a while. And they said to me, so you dont want kids . And i said, no, no i dont. And then we had a conversation about it as if they werent kids [ laughter ] they were like, why not . And i was like, well, my wife and i really enjoy our time together and i like having my free time to do stuff. And you know, i think kids are great, but i wouldnt want anything to come between that. And they were like, that makes sense. [ laughter ] they were like talking it out. This one girl went, you might like kids. And i was like, maybe. And she went, nah. [ laughter ] and then we were all doing a shot the next day. And my wife, anna, came by set and she walked in and i went, thats my wife, everybody. And everyone went, hi, mrs. Mulaney. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] and then this little girl not little girl. Wonderful girl, camille, turned to me and said, does your wife know you dont want kids . [ laughter ] seth its fantastic. Were going to talk more about it well be right back with more of john mulaney [ cheers and applause may your holidays glow bright and all your dreams take flight. Lease the glc 300 suv for 439 a month with credit toward your first months payment at the mercedesbenz winter event. hvr dips. You either love it or you really love it. At tmobile, were lighting up 5g and when you buy a samsung note 10 5g, you get one free. Plus you can experience it on the nations largest 5g network. So you can stay connected like this. Score a last minute this. Get home easier, like this. And share all of this. With that. So do this. On that. With us. And now, buy a samsung note 10 5g and get one free when you add a line. [i feel love by sam smith] save on last minute gifts with target holideals save on samsung tvs. Save on toys. Save on sweaters for the family and more. Doors open until 10pm christmas eve. Only at target. Do you find the world is a scary place or a not scary place . Scary place do think the world like, every day life is scary . Yes thats another one of my biggest fears. Home invasions i dont want anyone in my home one of my biggest fears is, like, tarantulas and spiders and bugs in general. But another one is, like, if i get under a 90 on a test, my mom gets really mad. And when my mom gets mad, um im toast. Are you afraid of a lone pigeon i dont know what that means. Sorry, a sin if you saw one single pigeon, not a flock probably not. If there were like three or more, then i would probably be afraid when three or more pigeons are gathered uhhuh. Yeah. Are there any fears that are your moms fears that you feel like youve gotten from her . Yeah. Definitely home invasions. [ laughter and applause seth welcome back to late night. That was a clip from john mulaney and the sack lunch bunch. [ cheers and applause obviously john mulaney, that was a given you would call yourself for this yeah. Seth but the sack lunch bunch, where did you come up with that . The sack lunch bunch . I wanted like a name of a groovy old like, name, like in the 70s you know, there would be shows that were like, the scrapyard gang, and stuff. I wanted to call it the latchkey kids cause, do you remember that term seth yes i was, like, a latchkey kid, i guess, because my parents had jobs so wed come home, you know. And wed watch tv, and wed enjoy it [ light laughter ] and on the news theyd be like, latchkey kids, its a terrible thing. And wed be like, no, its not [ laughter ] and then sack lunch bunch, you know two words of it rhyme. Seth yeah, there you go. Not a lot of science to it. Seth you there are so many wonderful songs in this yes wonderful composer, eli bolin. Seth eli bolin yeah who we worked with on documentary now. Seth documentary now. Hes fantastic weve written songs together before you wrote an Emmy Award Winning song seth we won an emmy. We wrote a song with Justin Timberlake. And we won an emmy yeah. Now, question. Seth yes okay. We want to okay so, this song was a monologue song for Justin Timberlake on the ballot of the emmys it said Justin Timberlake song. Seth yeah. Then below it was the much more popular mother lover by the lonely island. Seth yeah. With Justin Timberlake and andy samberg seth yes but ours was called the Justin Timberlake song. And we won seth yeah. Ive always wondered, do you think people thought that that was the lonely island song seth yeah. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth i think its, like, those weird like when they have, like, palm beach, florida, and they show you the ballots. And youre like, oh, that was way too confusing. Yeah, it was like, Justin Timberlake song . Mother lover . And youre like, i like that one with Justin Timberlake. [ laughter ] seth this has so many grandmothers boyfriend is a fantastic song grandmas boyfriend paul. Thanks seth yeah. Grandmas boyfriend paul. Theres a song called noodles and a little bit of butter plain plate of noodles, yeah seth yeah. Do flowers exist at night. Do flowers exist at night i wrote on the subway. The lyrics i have no musical ability. And it was based on i mean, it was the lyrics are exactly the process i went through as a kid. I couldnt picture a flower at night. And if im to be honest with you, i cant now seth yeah. Can you picture one at night . Seth no, i guess not yeah. Seth yeah. So i would lay in bed and they lyrics are do flowers exist at nigh do flowers exist at nigh i keep meaning to check but i always forge [ laughter ] to see if flower exist at nigh and i remember laying in bed at once when i was like, nine, as i was like, i forgot to look again [ light laughter ] because we had a couple of tulips in front of our house seth yeah. I was going to go see what they were doing. [ laughter ] seth do the kids ever i mean, do they behave on set . No. But [ laughter ] they did like people my friend who is a pediatrician and a vet, he says never work with children and animals. [ light laughter ] thanks and like we can cut that out, right . [ laughter ] you know, my friend seth yeah, yeah, yeah. Kitty mcpooch seth kitty mcpooch dr. Kitty mcpooch doctor, yeah, yeah, thank you. He treats kids and animals thats why his name from birth was kitty mcpooch. Seth when a guy like that says, dont work with kids and animals but i dont listen to him [ light laughter ] 15 kids are great. They really psych each other up. They were very supportive of each other seth yeah. They like you know, some kids might have a bigger part in one scene than the other and theyd all be like, you were great, you know . And in many ways like more a little more mature than, like, people we worked with at saturday night live. Seth yes yeah. Seth that sounds a lot nicer than our and we liked each other. But you still oh, yeah. But it would be like, oh, that was yours . Yeah, okay. [ laughter ] but they were 15 of them, and they would get really riled up you know when they do the clap board, and they go, apple mark. They would yell, baker mark, charlie mark. And this one girl, every time, would go, toilet mark. I know its not funny, but if you heard it 900 times youd start laughing a lot [ laughter ] so rhys thomas, our wonderful director, whos like whos worked with every host of snl. Seth yes hes worked with everyone hes been under pressure many times. One day they were just so out of their minds. And rhys ran up to them, they were just all talking at once. And he went, do you behave in school like this . And one girl went, we dont go to school. [ laughter ] [ applause ] seth you have, like i mentioned, some great guys richard kind is one of our favorite people in the world yes seth there was someone else you wanted to get and this would be who kids today would want to see the most this is what i thought would be a real crowd pleaser was. I wanted former president ial candidate Michael Dukakis [ light laughter ] to be in it. When i was six he was one of the two most famous people in the world. [ light laughter ] i wanted him to come on and go, john, i think i got one of your letters by mistake. And then id go, hey, everyone, its Michael Dukakis and the kids would cheer for 30 seconds straight. And i hes teaching at the moment, i guess. And he said, can i see a script . And i wasnt done with it. So, i was like, you dont get a script. You know [ light laughter ] because i was always delaying. So we didnt get dukakis this time around. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth kids, i think, will still enjoy it i think so. Seth yeah. Never have we forgot about a dude more. Seth than Michael Dukakis . I mean, like a lot well, not half almost half of america wanted him to be the president of the United States seth yeah. Then he lost. And they were like, get the hell out of here. [ laughter ] seth and then yet when i think about him, i think about him in that driving that tank yeah, he rode a tank with a helmet on. Seth yeah. And that i guess seth and then somehow that was bad. Yeah. Seth because the other guys used it against him. Yeah, they were like, look at this idiot you know [ light laughter ] you can make anyone look bad if you go, look at this idiot. And then show a clip [ laughter ] a clip of them seth yeah, i mean like i mean, right now, just i dont want you to take this the wrong way, but if you were to run for president right now, theres so many things in this sack lunch bunch that would just sink you right away or just take the pediatrician vet joke [ light laughter ] and do it in slow motion go, look at this idiot [ laughter ] my friends a pediatrician and youd win. [ applause ] seth id still vote for you. John mulaney thank you seth john mulaney and the sack lunch bunch begins streaming globally on netflix december 24th. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause woman 1 oc this is my body of proof. Man 1 vo proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. Man 2 vo proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis. Woman 2 vo . With humira. 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Its just right book your just right rental at thrifty. Com. When i rent a car, i never compromise. Too shabby too much i can rent this . For that price . Absolutely. Its just right book your just right rental at thrifty. Com. [ electrical buzzing ] [ dramatic music ] ahhhh ahhhh elliott. You came back announcer for more late night, go to latenightseth. Com. Follow us on instagram and twitter latenightseth and be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook head over to itunes to subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone. [i feel love by sam smith] save on last minute gifts with target holideals save on samsung tvs. Save on toys. Save on sweaters for the family and more. Doors open until 10pm christmas eve. Only at target. [ gunshot ] [ multiple gunshots ] kermit gonzo you got my gift gonzo yeah did you get my gift . kermit oh yeah. 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Lifethreatening side effects incl ude lactic acid buildup and severe l iver problems. If you have a rash and other symptoms of an alle rgic reaction, stop taking dovato and get me dical help right away. Tell your doctor if you have kidn ey or liver problems including hepa titis b or c. Dont use dovato if you plan to become pregnant or during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy since one of its ingredients may harm your unborn baby. Your doctor should do a pregnancy test before sta rting dovato. Use effective Birth Control while taking dovato. The most common side effects are headache diarrhea, nausea, trouble sl eeping, and tiredness. So much goes into who i am and ho pe to be. Ask your doctor if start ing hiv treatment with dovato is r ight for you. [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is a talented actor you know from Hbos Westworld and such films as 300 and love actually. He stars in the series reprisal which is currently streaming on hulu. Lets take a look. Tomorrow at the track, we could turn all three over to them that dont scare you, huh . How about when burt hears of it . Hmm . Do you think hes going to want to protect you three from running around digging up old fights when we got a [ bleep ] business to run . Seth please welcome to the show, rodrigo santoro, everyone. [ cheers and applause seth welcome to the show thank you thank you very much. Seth im so happy to have you. I feel like youre one of those actors that people recognize from many Different Things over the years. But were coming up on the Christmas Season and i feel as though you have a role in a film love actually where you played karl, Laura Linneys Love Interest thats right. Seth is this still a role that youre asked about . Oh yeah, man, yeah. I mean, they play every christmas, this film is on tv. Seth yeah. I think people really love the film i mean, not so much the way our story line ended seth yeah. I do get some interesting feedback sometimes seth because its one of the sad it ends sadly yeah. It does. Seth people wanted you guys to end up together, and you didnt i think that i think most guys want to end up like that, just like looking [ light laughter ] just looking like that in general. Yeah, i had this you know, i was at the airport the other day. And this lady came to me and say are you that guy with the glasses on love actually im like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, thats me. She was like, could you give me Laura Linneys phone number . [ laughter ] and i go, like, well, i dont think thats appropriate. She goes, i dont understand why she dumped you i need to talk to her about it. [ laughter ] seth really . And im like, well, you should talk to the writer. Ask for a sequel maybe we can, you know, work it out. Seth absolutely. It seems very strange to get a phone call 20 years later about a choice a fictional character made in a movie. [ laughter ] i agree i agree. Seth you another role that you were almost unrecognizable in is you played in 300, basically a nine foot god king, xerxes thats you, not recognizable at all. Yeah. Seth there was an intense, obviously, work out regime to this, also a good deal of grooming oh, man all right. [ light laughter ] okay lets get into that. Seth yeah. Yeah, nine feet tall, hairless, god king seth yeah. The lord of the lords now, the trick thank you very much i appreciate it. Yes. Everything was challenging about playing this part. But there was one very tricky thing that was in the word hairless. Seth yeah. I had to wax my whole body. Seth really . The whole body yes seth head to toe yes so i went to this hair place, i mean, waxing place and this very lovely lady came to me and said, would you like hot or cold . I like hot seth yeah, i would have picked hot you would seth yeah. Have you waxed before seth no. Okay. [ light laughter ] seth this all just happens on its own all right youre just born like that [ laughter ] thats perfect so, she picked up that hot thing and just splat on my chest i was like, is that going to hurt . And she rips im like, ah ah then she goes she grabs the towel and goes bite. And puts it in my mouth. And im crying miserable like, crying its so painful. You know that movie 40 year old virgin . Seth yeah, sure. Im steve carell. Right there. [ laughter ] seth yeah, that was the real deal that was the moment absolutely so, it was the first and the last time i waxed my body. Seth yeah. I went back to the make up department and said, guys, give me a razor i would like to proceed that way from now on. Seth also, that movie famously had so much cgi it seems like a bummer they couldnt have figure out a way to digitally get rid of your hair that would be awesome seth yeah, that moving forward well this in reprisal you get to grow out a beard. That must have been one of the things that drew you to the part yeah, it took me three months to grow that beard ive got to tell have you ever had seth no, i really havent and nor could i. Yeah [ laughter ] okay. Ill tell you one thing, its High Maintenance you have to take care of it. Its a lot of work it was appropriate for the part. Seth sure. I thought, why not . But then its just, you know, you scratch your beard and then you find stuff in there. Its like, when did i have nachos [ laughter ] what is it and then, you know, thats why you have to take care of it. You have to wash it and my daughter really loved that long beard. Seth she did she did she would stick crayons inside [ laughter ] seth thats so lovely. Like a lot of things. Seth like a memory book for her. Yeah, yeah. Like her private basket. Which was, you know, it was a fun part seth theres action in this show as well i know i heard you hurt your finger i did, man. I hurt my well, my middle finger seth yeah. Thats okay. If its an injury they cant sensor it. Thats just legally this one. Okay sorry about that i didnt mean it seth how did you do it we were rehearsing. [ light laughter ] and then i just hit this other guys hand seth uhhuh. It was the last final week of shooting, and i had to perform some stuff it was challenging but the most challenging thing was actually outside of work, because then i went to the doctor and he gave me a splint so, i put a splint and the splint was very discreet, like, skin colored seth uhhuh. A little piece like a ring that would keep my finger up like this. So i said, so, what can i do, doctor . He said, whatever you want, just do not bend that finger. Im like, okay. So i went out with my wife we were having, you know, sushi and im going like this. And then im looking around and people are going thats when i learned i have to use the left hand. I started to use the left hand seth yeah. Then i went to the gym the next day and im working on by biceps [ laughter ] you know, like, just going like this and then i look across the room. And this guy is staring at me really, really mad im like, oh man, i guess ive got to explain. So i come to him and say, hey, i just broke what . What are you giving me the finger for . Im like, dude, it is broken. My finger is broken. Im so sorry. It took him like a week to get over it. Seth yeah. And you know, really calm down seth this is the side effects of film work that nobody tells you when you get into the business yeah, we take it home [ laughter ] seth you take it home. You take the trauma home with you. We do we do. Seth hey, congrats on the show thanks so much for being here. I really appreciate it rodrigo santoro, everybody reprisal is streaming on hulu now. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause on the economy, a unique leader. Mike bloombergs created over 400,000 jobs. As president , an opportunity economy that works for us. Tax fairness where the wealthy pay their fair share. Education. Affordable college and high skill Vocational Training so people can succeed in the new economy. Economic security. Lower Cost Health Care and affordable middleclass housing. Proven leadership on jobs. To build an economy where people dont just get by they get ahead. Im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. [ dramatic music ] this holiday. Ahhhhh ahhhhh a distant friend returns. Elliott. You came back and while lots of things have changed. Wooooah woah its called the internet. Some things havent. Get ready for a reunion 3 million light years in the making. Woohoo yeah [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to john mulaney, rodrigo santoro, fred armisen, and the 8g band. Stay tunes for lilly singh. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause lilly tonight on a little late with lilly singh, my writers have a little holiday competition. Good luck. [ cheers ] some of our guests share their new years resolutions im going to add more apostrophes to my name my new years resolution is to hire whoevers repping kel. Give some [ bleep ] sleep lilly and i get to interview one of the most inspirational people ever, malala [ cheers and applause do you ever experience something called senioritis . Have you ever heard of this . S