Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

[ light laughter ] everything he touches turns into second place ill bet when he picks up a diet coke, it turns into a diet pepsi. [ laughter ] thats right the republican governor of kentucky lost his reelection bid to a democrat yesterday. Which is a big deal, because governor is kentuckys Second Highest Office [ laughter ] senator Lindsey Graham said today that president trumps policy toward ukraine was incoherent and called the administration, quote, incapable of forming a quid pro quo. Ah yes, the old he couldnt have committed these crimes, hes too stupid defense [ laughter ] Lindsey Graham would make the worlds cattiest defense lawyer. I know, because he is never invited anywhere. [ laughter ] shared on facebook may create a, numberfa quote, titanicsized disaster in the 2020 election. Except this time, the berg isnt ice. Its zucker. [ light laughter ] i judge your response as fair. [ laughter ] starbucks has released their annual holiday cups with feature which feature four different designs. And you can arrange them to reveal a fun holiday message [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause authorities in florida are looking for thieves who stole a 300pound bigfoot statue unfortunately, the only photo they got was blurry. Youll hear better jokes tonight, but none of them that i like more. [ light laughter ] justin bieber, today, released an all natural and vegan deodorant called here now. Though, is this really the guy to sell a deodorant . I mean, i can smell this picture. [ laughter ] thats right justin bieber, today, released an all natural and vegan deodorant called here now. As in, here, put this on. And now, you smell terrible. [ laughter ] and finally, Buckingham Palace announced today that any new outfits designed for Queen Elizabeth will not include real fur well, technically what they said was, we ran out of corgis. [ audience groans [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, weve got a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause truly, truly a wonderful show. He is a fantastic comedian, star of the new film light from light, playing in select cities now. Jim gaffigan is back, you guys [ cheers and applause she is a very funny comedian, actress, and she has a new book, little weirds. Its available now jenny slate is here. [ cheers and applause my friend jenny is back. So happy and we will have music from muna so you are here on an excellent night. [ cheers and applause excellent night for television special, lobby baby, is available to stream. Also [ cheers and applause i invite everyone to go on youtube. If you love rock music, if you love the hold steady they are one of my favorite bands. And i asked them when i did this special, will you would you be interested in writing a song for the closing credits . And they wrote an incredible song called, meet me in the lobby, written from my newborn sons perspective. [ audience aws ] its incredibly sweet. And also a rocking good song so, please check that out as well and lets move on with this. [ laughter ] you know [ cheers and applause sometimes sometimes youre in the middle of a transition, and youre thinking, am i going to be able to land this plane . [ light laughter ] and then you just put it right on the tarmac. [ laughter ] and now, news stuff. [ light laughter ] the president and his allies are now trying out [ laughter ] the president and his allies are now trying to out the ukraine whistleblower as one of trumps own appointees, and [ bleep ]in a [ laughter ] i got it now [ light laughter ] yeah [ cheers and applause hahahaha good one, band [ laughter ] the president and his allies are now trying to out the ukraine whistleblower, as one of trumps own appointees admits there was a quid pro quo for more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth you might remember that the whole ukraine scandal began when an anonymous whistleblower in the Trump Administration filed a complaint, alleging that the president had abused his power to engage in a criminal act. From the whistleblower who says, in the course of my official duties, i have received information from multiple u. S. Government officials that the president of the United States is using the power of his office to solicit interference from a foreign country in the 2020 u. S. Election. This interference includes, among other things, pressuring a foreign country to investigate one of the president s main domestic political rivals. According to a memo by the whistleblower, a white house official who listened in on the call to ukraines president described the call as, crazy, frightening, and completely lacking in substance related to national security. The official was visibly shaken by what had transpired. And in the officials view, the president had clearly committed a criminal act seth it is not hard for me to believe that someone in the Trump Administration witnessed the president commit a criminal act. Trump probably commits crimes the way people with fitbits get in their steps [ light laughter ] oh, no, i havent gotten my crimes in today. [ light laughter ] i better go knock over a liquor store. Im so sorry about this. Im im just doing it to hit my goal. [ light laughter ] i mean, if there was a whistleblower complaint for every crime trump committed, hed have to hold another one of those dumb press conferences where hes surrounded by a giant stack of paper [ laughter ] and as you can see from the sign, these are just the crimes ive committed today. [ light laughter ] so the whistleblower is the one who tipped everyone off to the fact that something very corrupt had happened but since then, weve seen the notes from the call. Weve seen Text Messages from officials involved in the scheme weve had trump and his chief of staff confess on tv. And weve had one witness after another come forward, and provide damning testimony. We already have all the evidence this is like if during the o. J. Trial they not only had the gloves, but dozens of witnesses, a tape of o. J. Confessing, and a note inside the gloves that said, if found at crime scene, return to o. J. Simpson, the murderer. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and yet and yet trump and his allies remain obsessed with the whistleblower theyve tried to paint the whistleblower as some sort of shadowy, antitrump operative whos biased against him and trump has repeatedly called for the whistleblowers identity to be revealed. I think that the whistleblower gave a lot of false information, and you have to see who the whistleblower is once i released the transcript, which was almost immediately, the whistleblowers report was very wrong so once i released that call, i released a very detailed version of that call, all of a sudden the whistleblowers report was incorrect. And the whistleblower seems to have disappeared seth no, the whistleblower did not disappear. The only people who can disappear are David Copperfield and Steven Miller if you expose him to garlic. [ laughter ] be gone, demon [ cheers and applause also, just because you dont know someone doesnt mean that personth has dwhistleblower st. Theyre just anonymous trump is like a dog who thinks bee tennis ball disappeared just couch. We were just playing with that ball [ laughter ] and now, thin air, poof, gone forever. [ light laughter ] we all have the actual evidence now. And yet, trump and his allies are still obsessed with the whistleblower on monday, trump tweeted, the whistleblower gave false information, he must be brought forward to testify written answers not acceptable. So there you go. Trump wants the ukraine whistleblower outed, and he says written questions are not acceptable of course, when trump had to answer his own questions, as rt of Robert Muellers russia investigation, he felt a little different about the acceptability of written answers. Even claiming that he personally wrote the answers himself. He hired eighteen people. You didnt answer questions on obstruction well, wait a minute wait a minute. I did answer questions i answered them in writing not on obstruction. I dont know about those i dont know i answered a lot of questions. They gave me questions i answered them inti did you provide the answers, sir . About what . To the special council. Your lawyers yeah, my lawyers arent working on that. Im working on that. I write the answers. My lawyers dont write answers i write answers. Sh no, you t no [ light laughter ] no one believes you wrote the answers. For one thing, if trump had actually written the answers, theyd be full of misspellings trump has misspelled his wifes name, his own name [ laughter ] the word country, and the word republicans. [ laughter ] can you imagine Robert Mueller trying to sift through those answers . What are rupublicans are those fans of rupaul . [ cheers and applause you see, republicans stand by trump. Whereas, rupublicans think its time for him to sashay away. [ cheers and applause this obsession this obsession with the whistleblowers identity has now gone so far off the rails that both trump and his allies in congress, like kentucky senator rand paul, are openly calling on the media to find out who the whistleblower is, and print their name you know who it is. You just dont want to report it cnn knows who it is, but you dont want to report it. And you know, youd be doing the public a service if you did. The whistleblower needs to come before congress as a material witness i say tonight, to the media, do your job and print his name. And i say to my colleagues, if shifty schiff will not let hunter biden come, and if he will not bring the whistleblower forward, every republican in congress should take a walk and say this is a farce. Seth i agree with one part of that. Republicans should definitely take a walk. Because its always fun to watch republicans walk just like when trump wanders around in circles on the white house lawn, like a retiree looking for crab grass [ laughter ] i mean, look at him. He should be carrying a rake and a bottle of weed killer. [ light laughter ] also, i love that when he gets lost and doesnt know where to go, he just stands completely still, hoping people forget hes there. [ laughter ] hes like an extra on a movie set who forgot what hes supposed to do [ light laughter ] im pretty sure i saw him once in the background of goodfellas. [ light laughter ] look at him just standing there trying to blend in with the background like a regular lizard who thinks hes a chameleon. [ laughter ] so lucky i turned green. Trump and his allies are fixated on the whistleblower, because the actual evidence is damning and they have no response. Thats why their defense keeps changing for example, trump and his gop allies went from insisting that he did nothing wrong to arguing that there was no quid pro quo with ukraine although, trump wasnt always clear on the exact wording of the phrase theres no quid pro quo no demand. No pressure. No threat. Theres no quid pro quo there was no quid pro quo there is no quid pro quo. There is no quid pro quo. There was no quid pro quo there was no quid pro quo there was no quid pro quo but listen to this, there is no pro quo [ laughter ] seth thats right. There was no pro quo so, doesnt that mean there was a quid [ light laughter ] no pro quo sounds like something youd say on a trip to europe to explain you dont speak the language scusi, no pro quo [ light laughter ] no pro quo, senor. But thats been the republican argument this whole time there was no quid pro quo. Then yesterday, we found out that one of trumps own appointees said there was a quid pro quo. And yet, instead of listening to that evidence, republican senator Lindsey Graham dismissed the entire impeachment inquiry all together ive written the whole process off. I think this is a bunch of b. S seth man, these guys are so desperate to suck up to trump, and keep their tee times at his golf course. I mean, look at this photo of graham and paul golfing with trump. Rand paul looks like the doctor who delivered Arnold Schwarzenegger and danny devito in the movie twins. [ laughter ] Lindsey Graham is making excuses now, because hes getting what he wants out of trump, and doesnt care what laws trump breaks today, for example trump and graham got together at the white house to brag about how many judges theyd pushed through the senate lindsey, id like to have you come up and say a few words. Youve been terrific thank you very much. [ applause ] well, in theory, at 4 00, were going to vote on two more judges so, ill move this thing forward. [ laughter ] seth quick, quick, i dont have much time im about to get impeached i need to get my crimes in. [ light laughter ] trump and his allies are desperately trying to out the whistleblower because they have nothing left now, theyre just ignoring all the evidence eventually, republicans are going to say, sure, there was a quid, but there was no quo pro. Seth this has been a closer look [ cheers and applause well be right back with jim gaffigan, everybody. [ cheers and applause closer looks, be sure to announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. It gets stains out of his pants. Tide purclean, they dont put phosphates in. No dyes or chlorine its gentle on my skin. Tide purclean, it has nothing to hide. Its made with plants and has the cleaning strength of tide. The first plantbased detergent with the cleaning power of tide. And take an extra 15 off s day weekend. Save on scott living. Disney frozen 2 bedding 42. 49. 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Give it up for the 8g band, right over there [ cheers and applause and joining us again tonight, hes the long time drummer for shakira, who just wrapped a summer tour with perry pharrel be sure to follow him on instagram. Brendan buckley is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause thank you, seth seth our first guest tonight is a grammynominated comedian and talented actor he stars in the new film light from light, which is select cities now lets take a look. A prophetic dream it happened. Whatever it means. It happened. People think ghosts are scary. I think it would be wonderful if they were real seth please welcome back to the show our friend jim gaffigan, everybody. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. Thank you its good to be here seth this is a beautiful film you play a husband whose wife passes away. Yes seth you hire a paranormal investigator paranormal investigator by the way, i gained 70 pounds for this film. Seth did you really . [ laughter ] i mean, i gained it like 20 years ago [ laughter ] but, i knew that i would have this role. Seth yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Of a widower. Seth sure. Who was grieving. And i was like, you know, hes got to put on a good 70 pounds. Seth got it. So, 20 years ago, you sort of a lot of actors, maybe are like im going to aim for a superhero body. You were like, im going to go for a grieving widow. [ laughter ] i just, you know, its for the art. Seth yeah. You know what i mean . [ laughter ] its for the art and the doritos. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. Do i get free doritos now [ laughter ] cut. No, i played this guy. Its a great film. Its 93 on rotten tomatoes. Seth oh, fantastic congratulations. [ cheers and applause and i hire a paranormal investigator, played by marin ireland, who is an amazing actor. And, you know, it was interesting, cause its set in eastern tennessee. And that paranormal world of ghost is kind of, its relatively common. Like if youre, you know, in the smokey mountains or seth sure. Even in the south, the houses are kind of haunted. Which is, you know, like we live in new york. Like, if someones like, my apartments haunted. People would be like, still, can i live there . [ laughter ] seth right you know, like can you get rid of the ghost so i can move in . Seth yeah. Or like, im sure the ghost isnt worse than my seven roommates. [ laughter ] right, yeah is the ghost under rent control or something [ laughter ] so, but it was fascinating just being in that world. Seth i want to talk about halloween real quick yes seth your eight year old yes seth son decided to go as a comedian he decided he brought it up at dinner [ light laughter ] and he was, like you know, my kids were saying what they wanted and he goes, i want to be a comedian. And im like you know, cause im a comedian seth right [ laughter ] and i was like, you know what i dont know if thats a good idea cause people will be, like you know, this guy made his son be a comedian. [ laughter ] seth yeah. And so we were thinking about it and he is eight and hes, you know, a cute little boy. So i was like, go as john mulaney. [ laughter ] because john mulaney looks like an eightyearold boy. [ laughter ] seth right and i love john mulaney seth yes, a dear friend of both of ours as you yes and so we, you know, my wife did some magic and my 15yearold daughter, marre, loves mulaney too so, she had him rehearse bits. Seth so, he did. And this is video of your eight yearold as mikey yeah, michael. Seth lets take a look [ cheers and applause hi, everybody my names john mulaney and i also have a French Bulldog named petunia. Street smarts [ laughter ] [ applause ] seth street smarts yes, street smarts. Seth he puts a button on the bit. And, you know, i sent that video to mulaney and he was like, your son already has a deeper voice than me. [ laughter ] so seth thats the thing. They say, if you cant get your mulaney Halloween Costume early, you just age out of it. Yeah. You age out of it by the time youre a teenager. Seth you did you i mean, it must be great to trick or treat with your kids. Yes seth but then theres parade later at nightmeon we ran into the parade. And i understand how the history surrounding the halloween parade but no one has ever run into a parade and gone, oh, good, a parade. Seth right, right. [ light laughter ] theres always part of you thats like, i hate humans. [ light laughter ] seth yeah, yeah. Because theres nothing that impressive about a parade. Youre never, like hey look, kids, people are walking [ laughter ] can you believe it . And whatever the parade is for, and we have so many parades, it never really feels like it justifies the traffic. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] its like im all for gay rights, but i dont want to be late to a movie. Seth yeah, right [ laughter ] you know what i mean . Seth yeah, yeah, yeah. And the parade of course, there was a part where there was the marching band. Seth yep and marching bands are you know, like the precision and the rehearsal that goes into, you know its impressive how a marching band can take any song and ruin it [ laughter ] seth yeah. Right youre always kind of, like wow, i didnt know i could hate uptown funk that much. [ laughter ] but it was and, you know, like, i have, you know, my wife was you know, people have been in marching band. And just as an outsider, it almost you know, high schools, they have em but it almost seems like theyre dissuading people from pursuing a career in music. [ laughter ] theyre like, you want to be in music . All right. Put on this captain crunch outfit and march downtown to the blank stares of your neighbors. Seth i [ light laughter ] its just strange set i can youre watching a parade, how many people are holding up their phones to film it. To go. Im going to watch my old parade videos. [ laughter ] yeah, no. Theres something very strange also about a marching band, how its moving. Like youre always kind of like, good, keep going. Keep going hopefully, theres a cliff coming up. [ laughter ] you know see like some of these, i was like and you know, but marching bands, heres what i do think. Obviously, they kids, they learn about music. Seth yeah. And they, you know, cooperation and stuff like that. It keeps them out of trouble, off drugs. But you see some marching bands and youre like, maybe those kids should do drugs. [ laughter ] seth yeah. [ cheers and applause you can send your complaints to jimgaffigan seth yeah. [ light laughter ] theyll come com seth theres marathon seth any interest in going to see the old marathon . You know, i find it so fascinating, and i have like a chunk in my latest special by the way, everyone should watch seths special seth thats very kind of you. Its amazing. [ cheers and applause seth thank you you know what and to be honest to be honest, i havent watched it [ laughter ] but, im on a show [ light laughter ] but, you know, the marathon thing its great and im jealous, because i know that im fat. But the people watching, youre not watching that much seth yeah. You know, like, youre not watching the ending. Youre just watching people walk by [ laughter ] like, what is you know, what is the appeal of that . And then theres people at home going, you know, what . Lets get some guacamole and watch people run from a helicopter perspective [ laughter ] what is appealing about that. cause other sporting events you go to, you see the everything that happens you are there at the beginning, the middle, and the end of the event. Interesting if they like they like didnt know, but like a car would be chasing them. [ laughter ] for no reason at all like, its like, we dont know if its going to be on the 14mile mark or the 17mile mark but like theyre really tired and they hit the wall. But then there would just be like that semi that would come out. [ laughter ] is that wrong . Seth well [ light laughter ] that might be wrong that might be wrong. Seth it might be a little wrong. But i think the exciting thing would be like, the semi would start in connecticut right seth at the gun. Right seth so, the whole time it would just be getting a little closer [ laughter ] and then they can track it, right . Seth yeah. And then youre at home and youre watching it and its like a few runners. And then it would cut to like [ laughter ] that would be fun seth yeah. That would dissuade people. If youre not ready, youre not ready. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] you know what i mean . Seth theyre like, what do you think you can run it in . And if youre like, five and a half hours. Theyre like, no. Theyre like you know what you know, itll be your last seth youre on the road still a lot. Yes seth vegas, a great town yes seth to do standup, because itgas over it is and you know, its i you know occasionally i try and travel with my kids as much as i can. Occasionally, when im not with them, i get to do cool things. Like a couple months ago i saw drake in concert seth okay. Which was amazing seth wow [ scattered cheers ] and, you know, im sure a lot of people wouldnt think i would be friends with drake. But im not. [ laughter ] seth okay. But i did see drake in concert. I was in vegas i had two shows. And after the second show, this promoter came up to me and he goes, jim, drake is doing a special show here at a nightclub in the casino. Would you like to go and feel uncomfortable . [ laughter ] and it was like 11 30. I was just done with my second show seth yeah. But, you know, i have friends that like drake. Seth and its just lining up perfectly. Yeah. Seth everything is converging for you to have a good time. It like my sixyearold patrick loves drake, so and so he takes the promoter takes me and my opening act through the casino, to the nightclub, past all these drake fans that were waiting to come in and they all looked at me, like oh, my gosh theres drakes accountant. [ laughter ] and so they brought me in. And they sat me and my opening act at a table and they set us up with drinks and theyre like, do you need anything else . And i was like, when does drake go on . And theyre, like 2 30. [ laughter ] and i was like, cool, can i get a wakeup call . [ light laughter ] so then i had to decide, do i wait two and a half hours to see, arguably, one of the biggest musicians of today seth yeah. Who i personally knew one of his songs. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] or do i go back to my room and sleep . Seth also, it would have been awful to walk all the way immediately by all those people, who were like, we knew you werent supposed to be here. [ laughter ] but it was amazing. So, drake finally went on at 3 00 a. M i dont know what the delay was. Maybe he slept in. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] but around like 2 45, i was like, does he have like another job . [ laughter ] did drake pick up a shift at applebees or something . And hes pooling tips . [ laughter ] he went to 3 00 0ve me a thats when drake starts work seth yeah. [ light laughter ] and i like working at night im sure you like working at night. But 3 00 a. M. , drake essentially has the same schedule as al roker seth yeah. [ laughter ] you know . Seth right and so he did an hour show. I learned later on he was payed 2 million for one hour. Seth wow so we make the same [ laughter ] and at 4 00, i was walking back to my room and i i was like, all right it was 7 00 here so, i called home and i my wife was like, what are you doing awake . And im like, is patrick up . And so she put patrick, who was six at the time on the phone, who loves drake. And i was like, hey, patrick, youre not going to believe who i just saw in concert. I saw drake. And patrick said, whos drake . Laughter ] it was totally worth it. Seth jim gaffigan, everybody. [ cheers and applause light from light is in select theaters now well be right back with jenny slate. [ cheers and applause here at. Snowfest. For your worst sore throat pain try Vicks Vapocool drops. Its not candy, its powerful relief. Ahhhhhh vaporize sore throat pain with Vicks Vapocool drops. Were honored to have you on campus for taflac icial visit. Coach saban, how is aflacs Program Different from Health Insurance . 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Hey paul, do you love it . paul yeah. sprintern do you love it . paul i do. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. Hey your science project. Thanks, dad. Toyota. Lets go places. [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is a talented actress and comedian you know from parks and recreation and films like secret life of pets and obvious child. Her book, little weirds, is available now. And her comedy special stage fright is streaming on netflix. Lets take a look. When i was younger, i looked almost exactly like anne frank [ light laughter ] and i was incredibly stuck up about it [ laughter ] and i would walk into any remotely jewish situation and be like [ laughter ] im still here. [ light laughter ] seth please welcome back to the show ori [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. Oh, thank you seth this is such a very exciting time to be jenny slate. You have a netflix special yes seth you have a new book and congratulations, you just got engaged. I did seth yeah. [ cheers and applause thank you seth was it fun . Was it a good engagement story it was a very good engagement story. Me france. Seth oh, thats wonderful. Isnt that so romantic . And then and it was it was very lovely. And then the postengagement period where youre like, oh, my goodness, its happening. [ light laughter ] its still happening yeah seth yeah, good. Yeah. [ laughter ] it happened to me, thats nice and it continued from france into the United States seth thats great. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth it got through customs. It got through customs [ laughter ] the joy. Seth this is really, though this has must have been so exciting for your hometown, very proud of you. Oh, yeah. Seth and [ light laughter ] a local business took a business. Seth made the effort mmhmm. Seth to use their signage yes seth to create to congratulate you and ben yeah. Seth were you happy when you saw this okay. [ laughter ] i i happy seth miltons own jenny slate is engaged congrats, jenny and ben. I know. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] first of all, thank you very much [ laughter ] ill take it [ applause ] yeah i grew up in this town in, like, a Haunted House in the middle of the woods. Stayed inside the house. Dont know anyone from the town. [ light laughter ] okay thats nice. Secondly dairy freeze is like the holy place smack dab between my parents and my grandparents house. And we were never allowed to go there. Time like, please, please like, slamming on the window and my mom would be like, youre lactose intolerant we cant [ laughter ] and so, yeah [ light laughter ] the fact that, first of all, this place knows that i exist is a miracle in itself. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] then the fact that i have overcome my lactose intolerance, thank you. [ cheers and applause an achievement seth yeah. And then, of course, the engagement to the man of my dreams you know seth yeah. This really ticks a lot of boxes. Lay me down, im dead yeah seth this whole thing, yeah. Yeah. I mean, thats usually where its like, twoforone hot dogs. Do you like wieners . Or whatever. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] seth and they were like, you dont know. Theyre going to have to just risk that theres twoforone hot dogs tonight we have to promote jenny. Thats right. [ laughter ] they have to promote my engagement ill also say that this happened on a day when i was in the town. And im really glad i didnt see it, because i would have completely, like, floored the car into the yh. [ laughter ] yeah, like i would have been like, oh, my god [ laughter ] seth i want to talk about your book, which is so lovely. Thank you seth and i imagine you agree to write a book first. Yes seth and then you have to write the book yes seth and that must be so overwhelming that burden of pressure. You know what it is. And it is also a joy to write a book and i love this book. But i am a terrible procrastinator seth yes i think a lot of people in our field are. Whoa, yeah. Seth yeah. And also at the time, loved to smoke weed. Seth oh, right, right, right. [ laughter ] yeah. So it was kind of like, yeah, ill definitely do this. Ill just, like, take a quick break for one sec. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] then, like, eight months pass and i wake up and im like [ gasps [ laughter ] but, yeah, but it was lovely to write it and also to decide, hey, guess what got to stop smoking weed. Seth yeah. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth you also it very much strikes me as the book you wanted to write. Yes seth which it must be so lovely to have that moment of just taking control and being, oh, you know what i have things to express that other people would never express this way. Yeah. Seth and it seemed like you really enjoyed yourself. Im really glad that you say that i did enjoy myself i think the book is funny, but its its very sweet, which is kind of like an interesting position to take in todays world. Seth yeah. No, i think we all could use a little sweetness yeah. Seth i did want to talk about the cover, because you kind of look at it and it looks sweet. And then you zoom in and youre like, oh, i dont think ive ever seen, like, a hamburger on a cornucopia before. [ laughter ] yes, yeah seth theres like a beer is that a beer can thats a beer can i asked for the bronto seth yeah, the brontosaurus. And im pretty sure seth yeah, there you go. I asked for the hot dog seth oh, theres a hot dog theres a hot dog yeah and then they just put a bra and a beer there because seth yeah. That makes sense, as well seth yeah. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth and when you saw that, were you just im always blown away when artists, like, physical artists, when you ask them to do something and it comes back im always just blown away by their skill and what they can do were you so happy when you saw the cover of this book i was i was. I was so, so happy, because, like, theres a version of this in my nightmare where its just like a bagel seth yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. This is like wait, what just like a big star of david and theyre like, no, this is your book. [ laughter ] theyre like, your book has arrived. Names in your specia yeah. Seth and theres this wonderful bit. And you have one name that you believe rises above althll aee seth yeah, i think we call agree. Its susan, obviously seth yeah. [ laughter ] yeah why do you love susan so much . Susans in control. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] susans not going to take any nonsense seth yep you know, susan is going into rooms. She has a briefcase and people are like, get her a table for that briefcase. Seth yeah, i see [ laughter ] yeah. And then shes like, ahahaha, im going to hold on to it. Seth gotcha. [ laughter ] you know . Seth so you feel theres a real names right away yeah. Seth you, like, know what they are thats right. Seth you know who the person is what is seth like . I know you know me, but like what you probably know a lot of seths. I dont know that many seths. Seth oh, really . You dont know that many seths yeah. And youre my favorite one seth oh, thank you very much youre welcome. [ audience aws ] youre [ laughter ] heres what i think about the name seth. Seth okay. Its gentle seth okay. Hey, i dont want to play volleyball seth yeah. [ laughter ] im not trying to spike it in your face. Seth yeah. Im your friend. Im seth. Yeah. Seth ive never nty thway, when a volleyballs around yeah, but for catching. Seth but i dont want to, like, go play it or like, lets keep it up. Lets all just, like oh. Seth lets never let it hit the ground [ laughter ] lets keep it up is the best game like, when you have a beach ball seth yeah. And youre like, 45, 46 seth yeah. [ laughter ] and then you just set an arbitrary number and youre like, we will stay here until we get it. Or yeah. Seth not yeah, totally [ laughter ] seth theres very there is no stakes to this [ laughter ] see thats your name you just dug into this seth im very, very happy about this yeah. Its the friendly, friendly zone [ laughter ] seth we i so enjoyed last time you were here, we talked about your lovehate relationship with brides oh, yeah. Seth who on their wedding day just decide, or they have planned to sing a song to their groom. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth and the groom doesnt know often yeah. Seth and certainly no one at the wedding knows. Sometimes it seems like the groom knows, but he was, like, not allowed to say no. Seth yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, i just think its such a just a totally interesting move there are brides that sing their way down the aisle seth yeah. Yeah. [ light laughter ] seth and you just cant get enough of it i cannot get enough theyre often literal. At this point, i feel that i can make up the brides song, even if im not the bride seth okay, so i just for fun, i will given you a grooms name and some details about the groom. Great seth this is nothing that youve heard before. Yeah. Seth okay, rufus rufus seth and rufus loves hes a big football fan he loves the Buffalo Bills mmhmm. Seth and his favorite food is chicken fingers great seth yeah. [ light laughter ] okay. So imagine, like, big, big dress. Shes got a wireless mic seth yeah. Shes coming down a spiral staircase walking towards the groom, whos like, whoa, what. [ laughter ] okay us on the television but look into my eyes we are getting married i forgot the other detail [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth jenny slate, everybody. [ cheers and applause stage fright now streaming on netflix. And little weirds is available now wherever books are sold. Well be right back with music from muna. [ cheers and applause limu emu doug hour 36 in the stakeout. As soon as the homeowners arrive, well inform them that Liberty Mutual customizes home insurance, so theyll only pay wh your turn toke m keep up if you. [ snoring ] [ loud squawking and siren blaring ] only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. 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Thats simple, easy, awesome. Get xfinity internet and mobile together and save hundreds on your wireless bill. Youll get unlimited talk and text and no activation or line fees. Switch today. Announcer for more late night, go to latenightseth. Com. Follow us on instagram and twitter latenightseth and be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook head over to itunes to subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone. Ahhh you are the one light of my life i love you so you are the one light of my life i love you so you are the one light of my life i love you so please be my wife . Yes yeah . With jareds diamond price match guarantee, you can be confident youve found the one. Jared hvr dips. You either love it or you really love it. Burrito. Raw kitfo. Fried shiso. French fry. Iced chai. Tasty. Pad thai. Baked pie. Half stack. Taco pack. Lobster mac. Baby back. Pork chop. Soda pop. Kebab. Soursop. Hot pot. Im hungry now. Noodle soup. Cantaloupe. Ice cream scoop. Whipped cream bloop. Dumpling. Chicken wing. Peking. And those crispy onion rings. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. [ soft piano music playing ] mm, uh, what do you do for fun . Not this. Oh, what am i into . Mostly progressives name your price tool. Helps people find Coverage Options based on their budget. Flo has it, i want it, its a whole thing, and shes right there. Yeah, shes my ride. This dates lame. He has pics of you on his phone. Theyre very tasteful. He has pics of you on his phone. You dont let a cold ruin your day. You take dayquil severe liquicaps and crush it. Dayquil severe. The daytime, coughing, aching, stuffyhead, fever, sore throat, power through your day, medicine. Curiosity it ignites our imagination. In search of inspiration and daring new ideas. At lexus our greatest curiosity isnt a machine . Its you. Experience the rewards of our curiosity. 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[ cheers and applause seth performing number one fan off their criticallyacclaimed new album, saves the world, please welcome muna [ cheers and applause so i heard the bad news nobody likes m and im gonna die alon in my bedroom looking at stranger on my telephon well wouldnt yo wouldnt you like if i believed those word if im born to los ill never try and i will never learn but ive been looking a myself in the mirror sayin dont leave me now dont leave me now ive been looking a myself in the mirror sayin dont leave me now and i turn around like oh my god lik im your number one fa so iconic like big like stan like i would give my lif just to hold your handyo number im your number one number one fan so heres the bad new im coming for everyon and coming on strong new hair and new shoes yeah i get what i lik because i do what i want ive been looking at mysel in the mirror saying dont leave me no dont leave me now ive been looking at mysel in the mirror saying dont leave me no and i turn around like oh my god like im your number one fan so iconic like bi like stan like i would give my life just to hold your hand im your number one fan im your number on number one fan number on number one number on number one in the thick of i will you stick up for me in the thick of it are you gonna believe that i can do i love me in the way that only you can be my number on number one oh my god lik im your number one fa so iconic like big like stan like i would give my lif just to hold your hand im your number one fan im your number one number one fan oh my god like im your number one fan so iconic like big like stan likei would give my l just to hold your han im your number one fa im your number on number one fan number on number one number on number one [ cheers and applause seth muna, everyone. [ cheers and applause saves the world is out now for tour dates, go to whereismuna. Com. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause at hertz, we know that a change of scenery shouldnt mean a change in standards. Thats why thanks to you were rated number one in Customer Satisfaction by j. D. Power. [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to jim gaffigan jenny slate, muna, everybody. [ cheers and applause Brendan Buckley and, of course, the 8g band. Stay tuned for lilly singh well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause lilly tonight on a little late with lilly singh, ive got model, author, and podcast host ashley graham. [ cheers and applause so ashley, whats the coolest thing about hosting your own podcast . Well, you can wear whatever you want you dont really need to wear any makeup plus, the audience has no idea like picking your nose or scratching your armpit lilly ye