Were going to help you out. Thank you. Have a good time. [ laughter ] seth which means its time for another installment of i cant. Seth i just they it was a [ laughter ] youre the president. [ laughter ] i cant. [ cheers and applause ] seth thats right. President trump visited puerto rico today, and boy, was he surprised when he asked to speak to their president. [ laughter ] what . You have a donald trump too . [ laughter ] i want to meet him. Maybe he also hates his job. [ light laughter ] President Trump visited puerto rico today, where he met with hurricane survivors. We love you, donald, said a banner he brought from home. [ laughter ] politico has published a new profile on Robert Mueller and the ongoing russia investigation. We have one reporter saying that asking mueller for inside information would be like asking him to watch a porn movie with you. Ill watch a porn movie with you, said ted cruz. [ laughter ] we dont even have to sit on the same couch. [ laughter and applause ] according to reports, officials have officials have began reviewing sorry. According to officials accord [ laughter and applause ] you got this seth i [ bleep ] up. [ laughter and applause ] i was looking i was checking your work wally. [ light laughter ] but i just want to own it right now and say, i [ bleep ] up. Thank you, and i think youre being really noble about it right now and not making a big deal out of it, and i think thats cool. cause let me just be clear, i was so ready to toss you under the bus. [ laughter ] according to reports, officials have begun reviewing emails associated with a third and previously unreported email account on Jared Kushner and ivanka trumps private domain. And this cant be good, the email is this ones for collusion at javanka. Biz. [ cheers and applause ] according to a new poll, most americans are in favor of celebrating columbus day, especially President Trump, who is still discovering america. [ laughter ] really . Puerto rico is ours . Thats fantastic. They have a donald trump . [ laughter ] and finally, an injured deer destroyed the inside of a Staten Island Clothing Store yesterday. Officials estimate the damage at over 10,000 tank tops. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. Shes starring in the new abc series, ten days in the valley, Kyra Sedgwick is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] you know her from snl, one of our favorites, Cecily Strong is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and hes a wonderful author. His new novel, the golden house, is out now. Salman rushdie is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so youre here on a good one. Before we get to that, White House Press secretary, Sarah Huckabee sanders, has been holding a lot of press briefings lately. But i dont think all the questions we need answered have been asked. So we decided to hold another one right here, right now. Thats right, Sarah Huckabee sanders and the late night press corps are here in our studio and ready to go. So without further ado, its time for the late night White House Press briefing. [ cheers and applause ] seth sarah, sarah, yes, sarah. Sarah . Sarah . Yes, thank you. Seth meyers, late night with seth meyers. Secretary sanders, how would you describe the Trump Presidency in three words . Russias unfortunate decision. [ laughter ] seth what does the white house staff say when trump starts tweeting on a saturday . This will be a working weekend. [ laughter ] seth Donald Trumps Approval Rating keeps spiraling to record lows, with most polls showing him below 40 . Do you think it can fall any farther . 15 has been the goal. Its always been the goal, were going to continue pushing for that. [ laughter and applause ] seth best of luck. What do you think President Trump still needs to learn in order to get better at his job . 8th grade civics. Seth yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i heard you accidentally made eye contact with ivanka trump the other day. How did that go . It seemed like a kind face. But when i looked at her again, she spat on me. [ laughter ] seth what role is eric trump playing within his fathers administration . Hell working with the grounds keeping crew here at the white house, and will help cut the grass. [ laughter and applause ] seth secretary sanders, complete this meatloaf lyric. I would do anything for love, but this president s not willing to do that. [ laughter ] seth very close. Hows betsy devos doing with learning the alphabet . Theres a long way to go. Seth okay. [ laughter ] is it true that donald trump is considering the mad hatter to be the next Federal Reserve chairman . Were not going to go down rabbit holes on personnel. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] seth what does Vice President mike pence call sex . The privacy act. [ laughter ] seth do you think satan exists . He wrote the president a letter earlier this year. [ laughter ] seth has the president s stance changed on what his favorite pink floyd album is . Hes still 100 committed to the wall. Seth yeah. Yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] what do you like better . Legs or feet . I think both of those parts are very important moving forward. [ laughter ] seth what was President Trumps reaction to ted cruz liking that porn video on twitter . He watched the entire thing. [ laughter ] seth ted cruz denies that he was the one who liked that video. So if it wasnt him, what kind of porn does he like . A lot of strong women in various positions. [ laughter ] seth how would you describe Jared Kushner in seven words or less . An inspiring 11yearold young man. [ laughter ] seth what do people need in order to realize that the president is unhinged . Access to a working phone. [ laughter ] seth whats the sentence that terrifies President Trump the most . Lets get to work. [ laughter ] seth follow up, whats the biggest thing you have in common with your predecessor, sean spicer . I hate to do this. [ laughter ] seth and finally, a question that i and i assume my colleagues have been dying to ask, how does an orgy work . As ive said several times earlier today, the goal is to have everybody come together. [ audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] seth i told you. I told you guys. I told you. [ applause ] well, looks like were out of time. So, on behalf of the rest of the press corps, have a good night. Well be right back with Kyra Sedgwick, everybody [ cheers and applause ] it all started when sophia stopped into marshalls and found a mug for surprisingly little green. She paired that with some succulents. And suddenly something clicked. That surprise led to a stylish wood mirror, soothing lavender oils, a party llama. Or is that an alpaca . Super soft towels, and an enchanting vase that magically tied it all together. 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[ cheers and applause ] that was great. Thank you, guys. Also, back with us tonight, hes a pioneering legend in the world of metal drumming. Playing with some of the top bands in the genre, such as strapping young lad and dethklok. You can check him out on the new album from Brendon Smalls galaktikon, entitled, ii become the storm, gene hoglan, everybody [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here gene. Thank you seth, great to be here. Seth our first guest tonight is a golden globe and emmy winning actress you know from her work on tnts the closer. She returns to television in the new series ten days in the valley. Which airs sunday nights on abc, lets take a look. Did you go inside my house . No, god, i didnt go inside your house. I went into your shed. And i sold you a Little Something which you are clearly still on. Okay, look. Pete broke into my house on sunday and he took my kid. Okay, i need to prove it. I dont want to put the cops on you, but i will. Okay, dude chill out, alright . Im just doing my thing, im trying to climb my ass out of the ghetto. Oh, shut up. Your fathers a dentist. Im talking the proverbial ghetto. You think im eager to tell the cops that i had a drug dealer at my house while my kid was asleep . Just tell me what you saw and ill pretend i saw it. Seth please welcome to the show, Kyra Sedgwick, everybody [ cheers and applause ] hi seth it is so wonderful to see you. Its so good to see you too. Seth and you almost well, we almost didnt get a chance to see you. Thats right. Seth you almost could not be here. I almost didnt make it to the show tonight. Seth because of jury duty. Yeah. [ light laughter ] seth thats so fantastic. You know, i know that people say that they only get called once every four years, but im telling you, i get called all of the time. They love me. Seth i get it. [ light laughter ] they cant get enough of me. I literally, in the last four months, i have been asked to go to petty court, which i thought was petite. [ laughter ] grand jury and federal jury or Supreme Court and federal court. Seth oh, my goodness. And i you know, when you get that thing in the mail, everybody us new yorkers are like, my life is more important than doing my civic duty. Seth yeah, exactly. I know, i did and im actually civicminded. I mean, i actually pick up after my dog, and, you know, i dont i dont jump over the turnstiles. And, you know, i vote. But like, theres something so irritating about it. Seth yes. Yeah. And so you start to talk to people, and theyre like, oh, my god, well, if you get to voir dire, you know seth sure. Thats when they ask you all these questions, like, whats your favorite whats your hobbies. I mean, they ask you odd questions. Theyre basically, youre getting close to being picked for a jury. If you get there, just start lying. And just say [ light laughter ] yeah, just start saying, like, i dont believe in the criminal Justice System as it is today. [ laughter ] seth yeah. And, like, i dont think its fair that people go to jail. And so you literally start convincing yourself, im going to say that. Like, im actually going to do that. And then you walk in to the courtroom, and it looks like a real courtroom. Because its a real courtroom. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and then a judge comes out. And he looks like a real judge. Seth yeah. Like, hes not like the law and order judge that you thought. And suddenly, youre like, i cant lie i cant lie. And they make you take the oath. Seth yeah. And he talks about solemnizing the proceedings, which, ive never heard used in that context. And youre like, i swear to take the tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. And youre literally thinking, im going to lie. And then you start to get like weepy, because youre like, oh, my god, the defendant is there. And he really counts on me, you know. [ laughter ] seth by the way to show up. Seth and youre surprised they keep bringing you back . Youre a dream juror [ laughter ] youre the dream everything about this theyre like, there was that one lady who cried. [ laughter ] when the judge stood up and made everybody take an oath. Weve got to get her back here. Im sure everybody else was on their phone, lying about everything. Saying, like, i think like, shoplifting should be the death penalty. Theyre like, get out of here. Weve got Kyra Sedgwick. We dont need you, you lunatic. [ light laughter ] yeah, too much empathy. Ive definitely seth too much empathy. Well, i want to talk to you about well this is empathy, but you care a lot about thoughts and feelings. Yes. Seth but are you coming to a realization about this now, or you must have always cared about thoughts and feelings. cause you strike me as someone who has always cared about no, ive always cared about thoughts and feelings. Seth yeah. I mean, like, its a i literally had when my you know, my kids were little, id be like, well, what are you feeling . Well what are you thinking . Well, what are you feeling . Well, what are you thinking . We literally had a game called thoughts and feelings, and they would hide it. Because they didnt want to play the thoughts and feelings game. [ light laughter ] seth was it a board game . It was a board game. Seth oh, my god. It made you talk about thoughts and feelings. But, you know, i mean, this is the great thing about having girlfriends, is that, they never tire of talking about thoughts and feelings. Seth no. [ laughter ] never. You know, i mean, no detail is too small. No emotion is too minor to share. You know, in deep, indepth, in detail. The other day i was having dinner with my friend. We were at two hours. And like, im asking her everything about everything. Like, what did you have for breakfast and what did you wear the day you went in to see your boss and ask for a raise. Like, how did you feel in the morning . [ laughter ] like, tell me every single thing. And we went to the bathroom together, because women go to the bathroom together. Seth ive noticed that, yeah. This is something that men dont do. But we went into the bathroom together. Plenty of stalls, but we had to go into the stall together. Seth really . Didnt want to miss a nuance, you know. Didnt want to miss a you know seth you i excuse you from jury duty. [ laughter ] so, you go into the stall together, just to keep chatting . Yeah, to keep chatting. You dont want to miss anything. And, like, talking over the stall is not good enough. I need to see the face. I need to [ laughter ] seth wow. Are you concerned that other people in the bathroom are aware no. Seth that there are now two people chatting away . Okay. Thats great. I dont worry about those things. Seth yeah, no i told kev that story, hes like, you know, you can i can guarandamntee it that no guy goes into a urinal, like you know, and has some guy right next to him talking to him, because they cant be apart. I mean, of course their seth i think thats very safe. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah. Seth i will say, because i recently saw you, and your husband, kevin bacon, and you are the bestlooking couple in show business. Oh, my god, no. [ cheers and applause ] seth and if there was anyone [ cheers and applause ] if there was any guy i would share a stall with, it would be your husband. So [ light laughter ] youre not the only one. Seth yeah, no, im sure theres like many a time, hes had his in his hands seth yeah. And people have asked for autographs. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and pictures. Selfies. Just really easy. Seth yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] i want to ask you about something. Yes. Seth because my this is im so glad this came up. Because my mother has been making this point recently. And i we all thought she would did not have a leg to stand on, and im so happy that you also believe this. Theres something you dont like about being at a restaurant for dinner. Yes, thats right. Seth and what is it . Well, its after youve been eating for a while, the waiter comes by and says, are you still working on that . I worked all day. Now im eating. Seth uhhuh. [ light laughter ] like, theres no part of this is not work. Im actually eating. Seth my mom made this case. And everybody no but, not right. [ laughter ] everyone in the family, said, what are you talking about, mom . Its a figure of speech. Makes me crazy. Seth it makes you crazy. Oh, my god. Makes me crazy. And i actually sometimes point it out. And i say to the waiter, so, listen. Let me just tell that, you know, i am not working. And my daughter is like, oh, my god. Dont. [ laughter ] thats just so mom. The waiter is not here to be schooled by you. Seth yeah. You know, thats not why the waiter is here. The waiter is here to do their job and serve the food. And this is like a new figure of speech. Its a terrible figure of speech. It should be seth you should say, when they say, are you still working on this . You should say, are you enjoying your hobby of being a waiter . [ laughter ] and then your daughter will slump even further in her seat like also, congrats on this new show. Thank you. Seth this is you play a lady on drugs, as you can tell from that yes, exactly. Seth sometimes on drugs, not the whole time. Yes, yes. Seth but, you know, this is youre sort of trying to solve a mystery, and, to some degree. Yes. Seth and im not trying to solve a mystery. Seth no, exactly, but people are gonna i did enough of that. Seth exactly yes. Seth but that must be nice, because in your last show yes. Seth you were in every scene. Yes. Seth and now there are other people. There are other points of view. Yes. Seth are you enjoying being on set and having a little more time off . I am. I totally am. And shes not nearly as verbose as brenda. Brenda was very blah, blah, blah. Seth yeah. And she is very less blah, blah, blah. Seth thats great. Yeah. Seth everybody after a show like the closer, everyone should play someone who is doing a little bit of drugs, just to like bring it down. [ laughter ] just a little bit. Im sure are you enjoying it . Yeah, i do. I enjoy it. I love it. I mean, it was a great time. We had great actors around. And, yes, its true. I had more time. And, i mean, i think when youre number you know, when youre doing a part like the closer, you literally dont have time to pee. Seth yeah. I was actually in my trailer one day, and usually, you know, you go to your trailer in between setups. And usually the moment you get into the trailer and they close the door, theyre knocking on the door, like were ready, were ready, were ready. Seth sure. And youre thinking, i dont have time to pee. Well, i was actually going to the bathroom. Im not going to say pee any more. Because its enough already. [ light laughter ] and im getting a knock, knock, knock on the door. And its getting more and more aggressive. And im like, im going to the bathroom. Im going to the bathroom im screaming. And im thinking, geez, these people are so aggressive. This p. A. Is like obviously getting yelled at. And then all of a sudden, the trailer starts moving. And im like, my god these teamsters are hooking up the trailer to like drive me away, and im in the bathroom. And suddenly and im screaming at the top of my lungs, crying. And then i realize, holy crap. Its an earthquake. [ laughter ] thats whats happening we are literally having anyway, i had to seth they and that whole crew thinks youre such a diva, that you screamed at an earthquake. [ laughter ] you were screaming at an earthquake. Not now, im going to the bathroom. [ laughter ] thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Seth its always such a pleasure to see you, kyra. Its so good to see you too. [ cheers and applause ] seth Kyra Sedgwick, everybody. Ten days in the valley airs sunday nights on abc. Well be right back, with Cecily Strong. [ cheers and applause ] having moderate to seis not always easy. Is its a Long Distance run and you have the determination to keep going. Humira has a proven track record of being prescribed for nearly ten years. Its the number one prescribed biologic by dermatologists. More than 250,000 patients have chosen humira to fight their psoriasis. And theyre not backing down. For most patients clearer skin is the proof. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma have happened, as have blood, liver and nervous system problems. Serious allergic reactions and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment get tested for tb. 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Posting hashtag yeehaw. Hashtag i have no signal and i still cant post out here. Woah look out, coming through. Hey thomas. Howdy there joy. See joys got the new iphone with verizon unlimited. You bet i do. Best phone, best network. Americas largest, most reliable 4g lte network. She can post out here like she does in the city. Hey twelve likes. What . Likes wont get you didly around these parts. Yaaw vo when you really, really want the best, get the new iphone on the best unlimited with plans starting at 40 per line for four lines. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. You know our next guest from her work on saturday night live which airs this saturday with host gal gadot, and musical guest sam smith. Please welcome back to the show, my very good friend, Cecily Strong, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth hi cec back here, my second home. Seth oh, im so happy to have you. Congrats on a fantastic season premiere, was it nice to be back . Thank you. Its nice, and terrifying, and im back to not sleeping. Seth yeah. It immediately starts. Yeah. Seth you couldnt have had a better first host. Ryan gosling is such a delight. Very giggly. Seth hes a great wonderful. Seth hes a great host. Yeah. Seth very giggly, but also, you did a pretape sketch with him about the font in the avatar poster. Yeah seth called papyrus. Right. Seth julio torres wrote a beautiful sketch. He was then he was a very intense actor. It wasnt live. Right. Seth is it is he fun onset, or when hes acting is he intense . We well there were we laughed a lot, and there was one scene in particular one scene. I was in two scenes. Seth yeah. So, one of my two. We were in bed together, and right at the beginning, he was shaking so much, and then i went, like first i was like, is that me, but it wasnt me, and then i thought [ laughter ] and then i thought, like, oh, no. Theres something wrong with him, but im respectful, and, like, im not going to bring it up. Seth thats great. Im going to pretend i dont notice. Seth what if it was a medical emergency, and you were taking the high road. I know, well then i oh no, hes an actor. Hes acting. Seth he was just getting ready. Yeah, he just was doing that, because his character would. Seth wow. And i my brain went to, there is something wrong with ryan gosling. [ laughter ] and im going to be cool about it. Seth but that was nice of you. That was nice of you to be cool about it. Yeah. Well, im a nice person. Seth you are a nice person. I will not help anyone in a medical emergency, because ill be cool about it. Seth theyll be like, cecily, this man had a heart attack, and you said, i chose not to draw attention to it, and make him feel bad. [ laughter ] yeah, i didnt want to embarrass the guy. Seth you also had jayz there. So youre at an after party, not only is jayz there, beyonce is there. Yes. Seth did you interact . No, ive only ever gotten as far as just stopping what im doing, and smiling when beyonce is around. Seth uhhuh. [ light laughter ] i cant ever ill never be able to say words to her, i think. And its like the third time ive seen her, i think, and i really was at a table talking, and then just went [ laughter ] and thats as much and shes been in the hallway before at the show, and i think i did the same thing, where i was walking, and then went [ laughter ] seth does she does she reciprocate the smile . Do you get it back, do you think . I must look crazy, but i feel like she must be used to that when youre beyonce. Seth yeah, right. I cant imagine i stick out. People do weirder things. Seth yeah, thats true. Than smile. Seth she does just she basically brings smile powder with her. Yeah. [ light laughter ] and its like theres like whisperings, and birds chirping when shes around. Yeah. Seth another great thing about new snl season, is the new writers, new cast members. Do you, reflecting back on your early days on the show, what was your first week like . My i have no idea. I feel like i dont remember my first year. Seth yeah. It was all i was in shock the entire time. The only thing i do remember is, i was standing under the bleachers with aidy when don pardo announced our names, and it was like, oh, now its real. Seth yeah. If im in the credits seth no right, once youre in the credits, they have to give you a check. Even if im not in the show, im in the damn credits. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] they give you that giant check. Or its this big. Seth yeah, thats great. Youve got to go to your bank and say i need to cash my snl check. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lorne goes with me, yeah, he gives it to you. Seth and are you excited you play melania on the show, beautifully. Yes. Seth do you have you been watching her over the summer . Are you looking forward to playing her . She i think, top three melania moments over the summer. She had like, really hot hits over the summer. Seth she crushed it with some moments . She crushed a lot of silent moment like melanias silent is just shes so good. [ laughter ] all of the hand things. I mean, shes like a little cat, like remember the handswatting. Seth oh, when he tried to take her hand. [ light laughter ] yeah, and she does it all with such grace. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and doesnt ever fall. It just like it looks like its choreographed almost. And then she took her somber moment. That was my favorite picture, was at the wailing wall, and shes in these red gorgeous heels, and like, this white suit, and really taking her moment, the sacred moment at the wall. It was like, yeah. I get you, girl. [ laughter ] i cant wait until there are so many drag melania trumps. Seth oh, yeah. [ laughter ] i didnt even think about that, but that will be right up oh, im thinking about it. Thats all im thinking about. Seth well, theres a lot of wonderful twoshots hes gesticulating, and being sort of blowhardy, and shes just aviators. Shes thinking about bullying. Seth yeah, oh, right. [ laughter ] thats her cause, its bullying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth do you think shes been an effective champion for the antibullying movement . As a real answer, obviously, no. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] not in on any earth. On any planet, but im going to go ahead, and say yes anyway, cause shes thats her thing. Seth yeah. Do you think in the middle of the night she ever leans over to donald and comes up with she says like, i hate bullies. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thats her. Thats her speech. Seth she like, shakes him awake do you think its good . I hate bullies. [ laughter ] its good tweet . Like she writes her own tweets. [ light laughter ] seth you so you were at second city. You were an improviser in chicago. Were you did you kind of get into second city right away, or were you doing improv shows before that . So, when i was taking classes, there would be like a couple of the paid shows that we did were all weird, and i did one with my friend paul it was it was like a fashion show, i think, but they wanted us to do improv. Seth thats never a good idea. It was terrible. Seth yeah. And it was like no one no one was even listening, and we just had to keep going, which was awful. And then finally when we got to leave the stage, there was no backstage, so we were trapped. So we had to then go back on to the stage to exit, and at that point, i just stood by the garbage can and pretended to be a garbage attendant, to see if people would even remember that i had been on the stage, and if they and, like, people that would assume thats a regular thing. This is so fancy, you cant throw your own trash away. Seth so you would give it to that girl in a giant coat. Seth you did child you were a child actor. Well, you were a stage child actor. Yes, exactly. Seth what were those early shows like . I did a lot as the bailiwick theater in chicago. Seth sure. And basically it was a very, also, gay theater. So i was raised by so many wonderful gays that really tickled you. [ laughter ] so i was raised by all these amazing gay men, and i was doing this show, this family show, called christmas schooner and its still going now in chicago, but the late show that would come in after us was cyber queer. [ light laughter ] so i was like 11 years old, and would skip off stage, and there was just like a giant man in a little speedo under pants thats like, hey, sweetie, can i have my makeup table . Sure cyber queer [ laughter ] seth well, it must have been a nice education, though. It was oh, i wouldnt trade it for the world. It really made me the gay man the cyber queer that i am today. Seth well, were lucky to have you. Thanks so much for being here. Its always such a pleasure to see you, and congrats on another season. Yes, thanks, seth. Seth Cecily Strong everybody saturday night live airs this saturday with host gal gadot, and musical guest sam smith. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] starbucks narino 70 cold brew coffee. In stores now. Only at starbucks. How do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. I cant believe it comes in. How great this tastes vegaaaan. And organiiiic. Try i cant believe its not butter in two new ways. Its vegan and its organic lips lose natural color lackluster lips . Dont think so. Over time. Chapstick total hydration moisture tint. Our 100 natural moisturizing formulas enhance your natural lip color. Chapstick. Put your lips first. Welcome to maxx you. 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And the official go fund me page for the shooting victims has now exceeded 8 million dollars. You can find a link on our website nbc bay area dot com. I was wondering if an electric toothbrush really cleans. Better than a manual, and my hygienist says it does. But. Theyre not all the same. Turns out, theyre really. Different. Who knew . I had no idea. So, she said look for. One thats shaped like a dental tool with a round. Brush head. Go pro with oralb. Oralbs rounded brush head surrounds each tooth to. Gently remove more plaque and. Oralb crossaction is clinically proven to. Remove more plaque than sonicare diamondclean. My mouth feels so clean. Ill only use an oralb the 1 brand used by dentists worldwide. Oralb. Brush like a pro. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to the show, everybody. This is very exciting news. Last year, going through my parents attic, i found my first video game system. This is a system that predated nintendo, atari, and television. It was the jorbus. You guys probably remember the jorbus. It was made by montgomery ward. [ laughter ] and just a fantastic video game system. And, ever since i pulled it out, ive been playing my games nonstop. And i have to say, jorbuss games, ahead of their time. And i would love to look at some of them now in a segment we call, old video games. [ cheers and applause ] seth this first jorbus classic was inspired by the music of the beatles and its called the beatles game. Now, the game is actually set very late in the beatles career when they all wanted to break up. So what happened was you played and as a kid, this was really exciting. You played as producer george martin. [ laughter ] and you had to drag each beatle to their instrument to force them to record another album. [ light laughter ] so, you know, for example, here you go. First you would grab paul and youd sort of drag him over. I dont want to play music. Seth and then you go get john, you know. No. Seth and then, you know, go get ringo. Peace and love. [ light laughter ] seth and then you go get george, and then they start there goes paul. He left. [ laughter ] you know, and then you get george, but then theres go john. It was really frustrating. And then the thing was, finally, you would get the four beatles together, and then theyre about to play some of your favorite beatles hits, but then yoko ono shows up, and everyone would leave, except john. [ applause ] i mean, as a kid as a kid, nothing was more fun than hearing yoko do her thing. [ laughter ] next up, this game was inspired by the popular game, pong, but was catered more to marijuana fans. It was bong. [ laughter ] and the game basically had the same concept of pong, except instead of paddles, you had bongs. The game replicated the reaction time of the marijuana user. Lets take a look. [ laughter ] you could play that game for hours. [ cheers and applause ] and then you figure out, it had only been 15 minutes, but it felt like hours. [ applause ] you guys remember the game mine sweeper . [ cheers ] jorbus had a game called mime sweeper. And in this iconic game, you played as a frenchman hellbent on ridding the streets of paris of mimes. So, you basically walk down a street, and you press a to punch a mime. And that was very nice. [ laughter ] and the mimes would try to fight back, but since they were mimes, they didnt actually have weapons. They would just fake em. And then if you hit a and b you could use a breadstick. [ audience groans ] french bread. These arent real mimes, you dont have to groan. [ laughter ] and it was just a lot of fun. It was really a lot of fun. [ applause ] this last game, with all due respect to mario kart, this is the greatest racing game of alltime. It was inspired by the popemobile, and its called Pope John Paul racing. And in this game, you play as Pope John Paul ii, and you race against the devil himself. [ laughter ] and you get all sorts of power ups, you know, you get a holy water cannon and then you can shoot the devil with that. Of course, the devil, he played dirty. Oh, no. [ audience oohs ] but then, when it looked like you were going to lose, you get picked up by gods hand. [ laughter ] and then you do the Pope John Paul victory dance. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for the jorbus, everyone well be right back with Salman Rushdie. [ cheers and applause ] while other Insurance Companies just see a truck, we see something youve worked really hard for. So why not give it the protection it deserves. New charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. New charmin ultra soft is softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird. Enjoy the go with charmin hungry eyes one look at you and i cant disguise ive got hungry eyes applebees 2 for 20. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. Heare you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . 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Promotion haw yeehah break through break through [ mo more, more, more ny ] how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more how do you like it how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more over the course of 9 days. Steve chooses to walk 26. 2 miles, thats a marathon. And he does it with dr. Scholls. Only dr. Scholls has massaging gel insoles that provide allday comfort to keep him feeling more energized. Dr. Scholls. Born to move. A World Without accidents. For the future to get there, were advancing safety technology. Designed not only to automatically brake but also actively steer. This is the most sophisticated lexus Safety System ever. And a preview of whats to come. Experience driverfirst innovation. Experience amazing. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is a bestselling world renowned author. His 13th novel the golden house is available now. Please welcome to the show Salman Rushdie, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im really very well. Thank you. Seth congratulations on finishing the book, having it out. It must feel very nice to be done with it. Yes. It feels like you have your brain removed. [ light laughter ] thats what it feels like, because there is nothing left in here. Seth and does how long does it take for your brain to regenerate . You dont know. I have no idea. Seth thats nice. [ light laughter ] but my brain cant think about it. Seth thats right, of course. Youre in a place of ultimate peace. So this book is about an indian billionaire who moves to new york. His sons, sort of suspicious of circumstances and background, and then its narrated by their neighbor, whos a film maker. Did you was that something you had to come up with in the very beginning, that, oh, im going to have the narrator have this film directors eye . You know, i didnt because i knew i wanted him to be a young guy and to be a born and raised new yorker, but i had this really awful idea that he should be a writer. Seth uhhuh. [ light laughter ] and i started writing it like that, and then i literally woke up in the middle of the night and sat up in bed and thought, this sucks [ laughter ] you know he should be anything would be better. He could be a dentist. Seth yeah. He could be a hairdresser. He could be a tax accountant. All of those would be better. So then i went to sleep, and woke up, and i thought, well okay, so hes not a writer. So who is he . And then i knew a bunch of young film makers in the village, you know what i thought, well, maybe hes one of them. And the moment i thought that he was a film maker, the whole book opened out. Seth that must be an incredible moment to see it open out in front of you like that. Yeah, because ive always ive been kind of a film nerd all of my life, and i finally had a character that i could give him all my film nerdery. Seth oh, right. And so he can be the film nerd. Seth you this is theres the political backdrop of our last election is happening during this book. Their you mention bernie by name, you mention hillary by name. You do not mention trump by name. In fact, you go a very different direction. Which is there is a candidate who has green hair who is called the joker. Yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. Completely different. Seth completely different, and no one will ever connect the two. Its very i have an eye for these things, so i figured it out. [ light laughter ] but obviously, you made a choice not to mention trump by name. What led you to that decision . Well, first of all, it was too boring. Seth yeah. You know, and secondly, it was too boring. [ laughter ] and then i thought, if you look at a deck of cards, in the deck of cards, the two cards that dont behave like the other cards are the trump, and the joker. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] and i thought, i dont want the trump, so ill have the joker. Seth that works out very well. You know, you wrote this book. You started writing this book way before. Seth 2008, is that about right . Yeah. Seth and its inspired by indian billionaires you know about, and read about, and yet now people are reviewing the book and saying oh, this is very its really strange. Because unfortunately, i have to admit, that nero golden, who is the main character, is in the real estate business. Seth right. And he has a very beautiful, much younger golddigger, Eastern European trophy wife. [ laughter ] so so, im sorry, but i this was all made up before i before we knew anything about anyone else. Any other real estate developer. [ laughter ] seth that is you know, with that said, it feels like not just this book, but all art now is being seen through the prism of trump, whether or not it was inspired by him or not. Everything leads to trump. Seth yeah. Whatever you can be talking about. New york fashion week, and youll be talking about trump. You know, whatever youre doing. You could be talking about tennis, youll be talking about trump. Its really thats one of the reasons i didnt want that word in my book. Seth and you you have a problem, which is trump likes you. Allegedly. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] but you mentioned tennis. Is it true that he tried to get you to watch some tennis with him . Well, i met him somewhere, at some event. And he asked it was around the time of the u. S. Open, and he asked me if i liked to go, and i said i did, and he said very sweetly, that i could borrow his box whenever i wanted, but because hes mr. Trump, he also said that it was the best box. Seth oh, wow, yeah. [ light laughter ] and that, you know, you really should see my box, because its a really great box. [ laughter ] and i even then this was long before he had any political aspirations. Even then i thought, this would be a careerending move. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] absolutely. Just to be seen in this box . Just to be seen in his box. Seth enjoying it. So i didnt do it, but it was nice of him to offer. Seth thats very good. Thats very good. I was you know, i feel as though you see the name Salman Rushdie, maybe youre watching charlie rose, maybe youre watching something on pbs, a show that reviews books. You came up on the season premier of curb your enthusiasm. Yeah, i heard that. Seth that is not where i would expect to hear your name, but it seems like the thrust of this season is that larry david has written a play called about me. Seth called fatwa, about you, and the fact that the ayatollah put a fatwa on you. Were you was it nice to see or hear that they were using this moment this very charged moment of your personal life in comedy . They did run it by me. Seth oh, thats very nice. [ light laughter ] i mean, i dont think they would have not done it if i had said no. Seth right. I think thats very safe, yeah. Will you give us our permission . No . Then i have some bad news. Yeah. [ laughter ] exactly, exactly. Seth it was actually nice, because this is obviously a moment thats past, particularly with your book, satanic verses. Ive heard you say that its nice now that people can actually read that book, removed of the fact that it was so controversial that a fatwa was issued against it. Yeah, yeah, and when people read it, they notice that its funny. Seth right. And it was one of the weird things that happened to me that because the attack was not funny, it was assumed that the book couldnt be funny. And because the attack was kind of weird, and incomprehensible, and foreign, and theological, it was assumed that the book would be weird, and incomprehensible, and theological, and incomprehensible. You know, and somehow i acquired the characteristics of the attack against me. And ive had to, sort of, get out from under that cloud, so i think in a funny way curb your enthusiasm making jokes about it is kind of cool because it diffuses it. Seth yeah and it must have been so strange. I mean, for many reasons obviously, a death threat against your life was probably the top of the worst parts about it. Yes. Seth but your book your book got hijacked. Yes, the book got hijacked, and it is nice to see it being read like a book. Seth yeah. Some people like it, some people hate it. Thats okay. Seth yeah. Thats the normal life of a book, which it didnt have, and now it does. Seth yeah, not normal is a fatwa. Thats very rare, yeah. I would avoid if possible. Seth okay, gotcha. Thats good to know. Well, you came out of it looking great, and thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] seth Salman Rushdie everybody. The golden house available now. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] want in on the secret to ageless skin. Take the olay 28 day challenge. Millions of real women see results starting day 1. There is not a friend i have, that will not own this product visible results or your money back olay. Ageless. Use pantene shampoo together with 3 minute miracle daily conditioner. Their prov formula is like a multivitamin. Making your hair 2x stronger see the difference when you add 3 minute miracle daily conditioner. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to Kyra Sedgwick, Cecily Strong, Salman Rushdie, everybody gene hoglan and the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. See you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ] carson good evening, im carson daly, welcome to last call. Tonight, were coming to you from skylark, high above new york city. An awesome place. And weve got another ki,
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