Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Stanley cup or whatever . Well, today the president had one of those for himself. He invited himself to the white house for a big stack of cheeseburgers. If youve wondering what the president s mood would be after his acquittal yesterday, it was this. This is really not a news conference. Its not a speech. Its not anything. Its just were sort of its a celebration. Because we have something that just worked out. I mean, it worked out. We went through hell, unfairly. Did nothing wrong. Did nothing wrong. Ive done things wrong in my life, i will admit. Not purposely, but ive done things wrong. But this is what the end result is. [ cheers and applause ] you can take that home, honey, maybe well frame it. Jimmy donald trump is the only person who would celebrate almost being thrown out of the white house. [ laughter ] he ranted and raved for more than an hour this afternoon, airing every grievance, grinding every ax. It was his pettysburg address. [ laughter ] and he took shots at those he considers to be his enemies. He even admitted once again that he fired fbi director jim comey because jim comey was investigating him. Weve been going through this now for over three years. It was evil. It was corrupt. It was dirty cops. It was leakers and liars. It was a disgrace. Had i not fired james comey, who was a disaster, by the way, its possible i wouldnt even be standing here right now. We caught him in the act. Dirty cops. Jimmy wasnt that o. J. s defense . Dirty cops . Before his victory speech, trump spoke at the National Prayer breakfast, which was a tough decision because on the one hand he doesnt like to pray, but on the other hand he loves breakfast. [ laughter ] sew went. He used the Prayer Breakfast as an opportunity to lash out as those who oppose him, just as jesus would have done. His aholiness was in top form with some not too subtle jabs at mitt romney and nancy pelosi too. I dont like people who use their faith as justification for doing what they know is wrong. Nor do i like people who say i pray for you when they know that thats not so. [ laughter ] jimmy this is a Prayer Breakfast at which hes naming people he doesnt like. Nancy pelosi was so upset she ripped her pancakes in half. [ laughter ] thats how this is supposed to be a nonpartisan event. It goes back to 1953. And every president since Dwight Eisenhower has been to the Prayer Breakfast, including president obama, to whom trump loves to compare himself. He so for comparisons sake we did that too. And this is what its like to be at a Prayer Breakfast with president obama versus president trump. Let us pray to god that we may be worthy of the Many Blessings he has bestowed upon our nation. They hired a big, big movie star, arnold schwarzenegger, to take my place. And we know how that turned out. Sometimes we talk about respect, but we dont act with respect towards each other. When they impeach you for nothing, then youre supposed to like them . Its not easy, folks. Im not alone in my success. I succeed because others succeed with me. And sometimes they hate people. Im sorry, i apologize. Im trying to learn. Its not easy. I believe that the starting point of faith is some doubt. Not being so full of yourself and so confident that you are right and that god speaks only to us. And for those of you that are interested in stocks, it looks like the stock market will be way up again today. Jimmy thats right. All the way up to heaven. [ applause ] by the way, senator mitt romneys now at the top of the president s hit list. Romney, as you know, was the only republican who voted to convict trump. This kind of tells you all you need to know about the president and the president s party. Within hours of romneys vote, trump tweeted a fullyproduced video attacking him, like president s do. And not only did trump go after romney, hes back on the hundred hunter biden horse. Today he made what might be his most ridiculous statement yet. They dont think its corrupt when a son that made no money, that got thrown out of the military, that had no money at all is working for 3 million up front, 83,000 a month. They think thats okay. Because if it is, is ivanka in the audience . Is ivanka here . Boy, my kids could make a fortune. They could make a fortune. Its corrupt. Jimmy ivankas like, could you leave me out of this . Ive got shoes to sell when this is over. The idea that donald trump would criticize anyone for any kind of nepotism is he put his soninlaw in charge of peace in the middle east. His kids are the poster children for political privilege. This dopey donald jr. , he is so desperate for daddys love, this is what he posted to instagram yesterday. Mom jeans . Because youre a [ bleep ]. If mitt romney really was that, your father would have grabbed him by now, by the way. [ cheers and applause ] also i want to say, while were criticizing peoples clothes, lets take a look at some of don jr. s outfits. Theres his pink polo shirt. Here he just came by from the north face store i guess, lookin sharp with the old man in that white collared shirt and big pants. And here we have the dumbest crayon in the box. [ laughter ] and as for trumps point about his kids compared to hunter biden, lets take a look at donald jr. s resume. After college djtj was a bartender in aspen for a year. From that he graduated to supervising several Trump Building projects in manhattan. How did he land that gig . Must have been one hell of a bartender. He helped launch Trump Mortgage which folded in 18 months. Next got a job sitting and nodding next to his father on apprentice. Became a spokesman for cambridge whos who, a company that has received hundreds of complaints from the Better Business bureau, he was then put in charge of meetings like the one with the russians about Hillary Clinton that got his father in trouble. And wrote a book called triggered which made it number one because the Republican Committee got more than 100,000 worth of copies for week one. And dont forget his special skills, powerpoint, excel, and shooting elephants. This is a selfmade man who does it all and more. [ applause ] and his dad is the trump boy was on fox with Tucker Carlson last night and made it very clear hes very mad at mitt romney. Its sort of ironic when you look at even his political career. Hes flipflopped for political expediency on every major conservative issue that he says he believes in now that hes in utah again. Just go look at the record, guys. It speaks for himself. Whether its his track record on life, the reality is this, he has come to donald trump for his endorsement, for money when he was running. He blew his chance. Bigly. Shut the [ bleep ] up [ applause ] jimmy you know, abe is always honest. Hes boy. Well, in happier news, im sure that you know on sunday right across the street from us here in hollywood, and airing right here on this network, the 92nd annual academy awards. Its like the west coast version of the iowa caucuses. There are nine nominees for best picture, which is a lot. So we decided to have some fun. We went out in the street and we asked people about a bunch of stuff we made up about these nominated films, none of what were about to describe happened. But did that stop people from giving their takes on them . Of course not. In a new Academy Awards edition of lie witness news. Were out here talking to people about some of the oscar movies from this last year. There was of course a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood. Tomanks starring as mr. Rogers. An incredible performance. It was amazing, yes. Now, were you surprised by the violent Daylight Bank robbery at the beginning of the film . What was it like to see mr. Rogers holding a smoking gun . You know, like, when i first took on the movie, i was like, i didnt come for this. But to me it was quite, you know, exhilarating. For kids, it may have been a little violent for children . Especially mr. Rogers, yeah. Now some people are thinking that larry david should have been nominated for best supporting actor for his appearance as the riddler in joker. Do you agree with that . Yeah, he did a really good performance in that movie. So yeah. I guess he may win the oscar, yeah. Do you think the song tonight were going to party like its 1917 deserves the nomination for best song . Yeah. Its touching, its definitely a feelgood song. Renee zellweger was nominated for judy, the story of judy jetson, the first woman to walk on the moon. Are you glad that storys being told . Yeah. Why not . Isnt that monumental kind of . Huge. Yeah. I think that thats important. A lot of people loved Antonio Banderas in the chef boyardee story. But should the role have gone to an italian actor instead . Yeah, i think that it should have gone to an italian actor. But it might have been a more believable portrayal. What are you going to do . Its hollywood. Everythings rigged. Jojo rabbit, in which Scarlett Johansson lost 45 pounds to play the rabbit. Do you think that was too dramatic a transformation . No. I think when you do a part in a movie you have to do it and its amazing. And now shes got the nomination, so who cares . Yeah. What did you think of the scene where de niro throws his arm around daniel daylewis and says this guy really is an irish man . That part right there . It kind of like made me how can i say it . Emotional but at the same time there was a plot twist to it. So you know it was kind of like, wow, it shows you how coldblooded people are. There was of course the two popes. Which is the story of italian scientists cloning the pope. Did you like that blend of religion and Science Fiction . It was a good movie, but i just think that the message wasnt exactly i mean, they shouldnt make a movie out of Something Like that. I dont know. I think thats a really terrible thing that happened and it shouldnt be glorified. We shouldnt be playing god like that . No. I dont think so, man. I think thats all that should be a whole other thing. Harriet, the story of harriet tubman, do you think Ariana Grande was the right choice for the role . At first i didnt think shed do a good job. But after seeing it i think she fit it pretty well. Do you think she has a shot at the oscar for that . For an oscar . Im not sure, im not sure. Stick to singing maybe . Yeah, stick to singing. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right. Weve got a good show tonight. Kelsea ballerini is here. The impractical jokers with tenderloins are here. Well be right back with Billy Crystal dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by new twix cookie and cream. And best of all right twix doesnt know about it well, this is a right twix. Excuse me. [screams into pillow] problem solved. New twix cookies creme. Try both. Pick a side. And i see this jean jacket. I put it on, popped the collar and looked at the brand. And when i saw the price tag i was like, oh yeah, this is a keeper. It goes with everything. If im wearing yoga pants, i wear my jean jacket. If im going out, i wear my jean jacket. I can go on a dinner dates with my husband, like to the movies, and it just works. Its my, its my go to jacket. Brands that wow. Prices that thrill. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting burrito. Raw kitfo. Fried shiso. French fry. Iced chai. Tasty. Pad thai. Baked pie. Half stack. Taco pack. Lobster mac. Baby back. Pork chop. Soda pop. Kebab. Soursop. Hot pot. 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With so many lobster dishes, theres something for every lobster fan so hurry in and lets lobsterfest. Or get pick up or delivery at redlobster. Com othroughout the country for the past twelve years, mr. Michael bloomberg is here. Vo leadership in action. Mayor bloomberg and president obama worked together in the fight for gun safety laws, to improve education, and to develop innovative ways to help teens gain the skills needed to find good jobs. Obama at a time when washington is divided in old ideological battles he shows us what can be achieved when we bring people together to seek pragmatic solutions. Bloomberg im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. Jimmy hi there, welcome back to the show. Tonight, we have a group of friends who earn their living doing terrible things to each other from impractical jokers the movie and their tv show too. Joe, james, brian, and sal, aka the tenderloins are here. [ cheers and applause ] and then, this is her forthcoming album. Kelsea because thats her name. Kelsea ballerini from the mercedesbenz stage. [ cheers and applause ] next week on the show wow, weve got quite a list of guests next week. Harrison ford, amy poehler, chris pratt, katy perry, lionel richie, and luke bryan, david sedaris, lucy hale, science bob pflugfelder, huey lewis will be here. And well have music from wiz khalifa, ty dolla sign, lil yachty, sueco the child, andy schaub, and sam hunt. So please join us for all that. [ cheers and applause ] i might be getting too old for this job. Our first guest is an emmy and Tony Awardwinning man and the ninetime oscar host against whom all others are measured. His new comedy standing up, falling down premieres in theaters and on vod february 21st. Please welcome Billy Crystal. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you, thank you. Jimmy how are you . Great. Always great to be here. Jimmy great to have you here. Its an honor to have you here. And im wondering what goes through your mind when you come into this neighborhood, where you hosted the oscars so many times. Yeah. Jimmy and you see the street closed down and youre maneuvering your way through. What do you think of . How to use waze to get around here. Jimmy very practical. Well, listen, weve hosted between the two of us 11 times. [ laughter ] and this year is another nohost show. Jimmy no host. Which is like having a trial without witnesses. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy whod ever have that . Never heard of such a thing. It moves faster but its not quite the result that you want. Yeah. Jimmy do you think that a host is important to the show . Yeah dont you . Jimmy it seems like it. To me, you know, its the tradition of it. When we did it, you know, i always felt i was in a line of johnny and bob hope. And the people i grew up with. Jimmy i felt the same way about you. Yes. Thank you. Jimmy i did. Its true. [ cheers and applause ] but i i always loved being out there. I loved the i guess the trust, you know, that the Movie Academy had in me to get me out there. And i felt like it was a great honor to do it. And i think that when you have a show thats as long as it is things are going to happen. And i think the problem with the nohost thing perhaps is that theres not somebody out there to capitalize on that moment. Like you had when the wrong best picture was nominated. Jimmy thats right. That show would still be on right now. Yeah, if theres nobody there for me i had some of my best moments were when something went wrong. Jimmy what is something that sticks in your mind about something that went wrong . I had to introduce a 100year old giant in the movie industry named hal roach. Jimmy hal roach. Yes. Hal roach created our gang comedies. Little rascals. Laurel hardy. He was a real father of film comedy. And he was 100 years old. And i was supposed to introduce him. He was sitting right in the second row. And he was just supposed to wave on the occasion of his 100th birthday. Just stand up if he could, which he did. And just wave. So i said proper introduction, ladies and gentlemen, 100yearold giant of the movie industry, we all owe him a debt of thanks, the one and only mr. Hal roach. He stands up. And he waves. And he has no mike. And then he begins to talk. [ laughter ] and it sounded like this to everybody in that huge we were at the shrine. Going [ quietly ] thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to say the days back in culver city when i had mr. Laurel and mr. Hardy back and we would ride down the boulevard and make movies and that was a beautiful thing. In 1935 [ laughter ] i met Charlie Chaplin for the first time. And we hit it off, and i said, why dont we do fourreelers and thats how feature comedies started. Then came the war. [ laughter ] and hes going on and on, and hes got no mike. And sitting in the front row is our friend warren beatty, and hes sitting there going, and the cyclops is on you, the cameras on you with the red light. And lines now are flying through my head. All right. Say that. No, dont say that. Then one hit like a slot machine in vegas and i just looked at the audience. I said its very fitting because he got his start in silence films. [ applause ] jimmy there you go. For me it was one of those moments. Its when you pat yourself on the back and say i was good at that moment. Jimmy you cannot prepare for that. Thats just you and youre out there. Yeah. Jimmy i hope that happens again this weekend. Yeah. I hope, i hope they get the right people out there in case something jimmy i hope they dont. I hope its a disaster. Okay. [ laughter ] jimmy we have to stick together, know what i mean . These jobs are very few. Hows your wife janice doing . Shes great. Shes here. Jimmy oh, good, she came along . Things are good, things are all right . Were still together. Folks, my proudest accomplishment, we will be married 50 years. Jimmy wow. [ cheers and applause ] what are you going to do . I was 7. She was 6. It was an orthodox hasidic thing. We hadnt even met. [ laughter ] but were in the middle of a very odd thing that happened to us about six days ago. Jimmy okay. All right. Its 3 00 in the morning. And we dont know it, but outside a skunk has sprayed our air conditioning units. Jimmy right. So you know where this is going. So the house, we both wake up with this incredibly foul smell, my eyes watering, she looks at me, and she says what the hell did you eat . [ laughter ] i said thats not me. She said, were married 49 years, that is you. [ laughter ] so its a horrible, horrible, horrible smell. So the next day we call the air conditioning guy. Comes out to check out how do you clean this unit . And he goes, you got a bigger problem than skunks. I said what . He said look at those paw prints. Do you have a dog . I said no. He says thats a Mountain Lion. Mountain lion. And theres little tufts of fur around. So i said did he scare the skunk and he sprayed . He said no, he ate the skunk. [ laughter ] eating a skunk. Imagine how bad that gas would be . Jimmy youve got to be hungry. Real hungry. So sorry i had that skunk. Whoa. Let me squat in some tomato juice and get rid of this. So now we got this potential, you know, Mountain Lion. And, you know, terrorizing the neighborhood. And were terrified. So we get these cameras that are night vision cameras that are motion controlled so if anything walks in front of them it takes a picture. Jimmy mmhm. Two nights ago, you want to see a picture of a Mountain Lion . Take a look at this guy. And [ laughter ] hes wearing a maga hat. Jimmy oh, my gosh. So now hes got two strikes against him. Jimmy this really is a Mountain Lion. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy you need to move theres no what are you going to do . Janice says lets get a dog. I said you know what a dog is to a Mountain Lion . An appetizer. Jimmy a dog is not going to help you. Listen, i like dogs, i had a dog as a kid. But at this point in my life, i travel a lot. If im home late at night and im in bed, if somebodys next to me going [ panting ] i want it to be my wife. [ laughter ] [ applause ] have you ever seen have you ever seen anybody look happy when theyre walking a dog . Jimmy no. They dont they look miserable. Theyre waiting for this thing to carpet bomb. And, you know, and you could be, i dont care. Doesnt matter how powerful you are, how much money, you could be a lawyer, the head of a company. You could be a queen. When youre waiting for a dog to do that, youre working for the dog. Jimmy 100 . You could be the pope, but youre still a dope with a plastic bag on your hand waiting to pick up poop thats what it is. [ laughter ] we were at the white house in 2001. Jimmy okay. President bush. Jimmy right. We were screening a movie i directed called 61. About roger maris. So were screening at the white house. And it was really exciting, i have to say. At the end of the movie president bush says good night, he goes upstairs to the residence, and they took us on a tour of the west wing. Now its about 10 30 at night, were leaving and president bush is coming down from the private quarters, and he looks like any, oh, middleaged father who just put in a hard day of screwing up the economy. [ laughter ] and sending us into a war we should never have been in. You know, just a day. And hes got his sleeves rolled up, and he looked tired, but he was actually a fun guy, forgetting politics. And hes walking two dogs, and hes got a plastic bag in his hand. And im thinking, this is the most powerful man in the world and hes going to pick up poop. [ laughter ] and then later i found out they were dick cheneys dogs. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my goodness Billy Crystal is here. The movie is standing up, falling down. Well be right back. sprintern . You can get the amazing iphone 11 for zero dollars a month when you tradein your iphone 6s or newer. paul in any condition. sprintern seriously, in any condition. paul and because sprint likes to do things differently, theyre offering a 100 total satisfaction guarantee. While i think their network and savings are great, you dont just have to take my word for it. Try it out and see the savings for yourself. sprintern now thats a picture perfect deal. Smile. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. Land youll see its actuallyn made of countless imperfections. Those randomly and impulsively placed sesame seeds. That one slice of melty cheese at the bottom and another draped haphazardly over the 100 fresh beef patty cooked right when you order. True, the hottest, juiciest quarter pounder yet is not perfect. But when you put it all together, ha ha its perfect made perfecter. 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And, use those powers to finally address the climate crisis. And, ive spent 30 years building a Successful International business. So, i can take on donald trump on the economy and beat him. Im tom steyer and i approve this message because there is nothing more powerful than the unified voice of the american people. [ fastpaced drumming ] hey, rollins, right . Rollins, hey, how are you doing . Are you everywhere . I get around. What are you doing here . I dont even know. Wow, you killed rory. I didnt kill rory. Thats why you were stressed. What are you doing . You had your hands on his shoulder right before you strangled him. He died of leukemia. Are you high . Yeah. Jimmy Billy Crystal and ben schwartz in standing up falling down, a very sweet movie, a nice relationship. Tell us a little bit about your character. I play marty, who is an alcoholic potsmoking dermatologist, which is very difficult for me because im not a dermatologist. [ laughter ] its a story of these two, oh, lost souls. The wonderful ben schwartz. Jimmy yeah, hes a nice kid, too. Hes the real deal. Jimmy you guys have bonded. Weve become very close friends. Jimmy you took him to the clippers game. Yeah. Im like his uncle. I take him to clippers games and we hang out. Hes an awfully funny guy. And a great hes one of those rare guys that you know was raised well. You know what i mean . Hes terrific. Jimmy its funny, because im guessing that your relationship was similar to the relationship you have in the movie. You know, he comes hes a failed comedian, the character. But arent we all . [ laughter ] and he comes to me with a rash on his arm, and i help him out, but then we start talking. And i help him with his act by helping him with his life. And he helps me begin to clean up, and we start to understand each other, and i unburden myself of the past thats driving me to drink and do drugs and all that stuff. Jimmy does it feel odd for you . I know we all think of ourselves as just ourselves. You dont really attach an age to yourself. Is it odd being like the mentor to guys like ben . Or, you know, younger guys . You know, its first of all, its lovely just to be working. Jimmy uhhuh. And working with great, brilliant people like that. I just acted and directed with the wonderful tiffany haddish. Jimmy yes. I know you did. [ applause ] very excited about that. I directed the movie, cowrote it with alan sweibel and we have a very interesting story together. And thats called here today and it will be coming out later this year. Jimmy yes, i look forward to that. I loved working with her, and i loved working with ben, because they bring out the best in you. Because we come from different times, obviously, you keep being reminded, youre older, but you know when you really get reminded that youre old . My birthdays coming up in march. Jimmy uhhuh. Im a medium in some things or a large in others. [ laughter ] i have to take my written drivers test. Jimmy over . Yeah. Jimmy written the written test over. This is a nightmare. I mean, ive been driving since im 18. Im going to be 72. Jimmy uhhuh. And i look fabulous. [ applause ] jimmy you do. I have never gotten a ticket except i have 11,000 parking tickets. Ive never gotten a ticket for a moving violation or anything like that. But when i take the practice tests i wouldnt get in the car with me. Jimmy are the questions hard . Yeah, theyre hard, let me see if how youd do. Jimmy okay, good, all right. This is a true or false question. Jimmy okay. This is an actual from the test. All right. When driving under snowy or icy conditions, you should make speed and directional changes more gradually than you would otherwise. Jimmy yes. True. Yeah. A broken Yellow Center line means that you can pass on the left if the road ahead is clear. Jimmy true. Okay. When being followed by a tailgater, which finger do you use to tell them to back off . [ laughter ] jimmy i use the big one. Okay. When taking a selfie while driving jimmy uhhuh. This is on the test . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy oh, wow. Should you be in the Portrait Mode . [ laughter ] jimmy absolutely. Thats better. Jimmy there are more . Yeah, some more. Jimmy okay. I feel like im doing well so far. Oure great. Jimmy okay, great. Youre pushing 60. Jimmy mmhm. In a school zone. What is that infraction called . Jimmy uh, speeding, i guess. No, its called the prince andrew. [ laughter ] jimmy we got to go out on that, right . Come on. All right. One more. This is the last one. And i think weve been guilty about this. When parking in a handicapped space. How long after you exit the car should you fake your limp . [ laughter ] jimmy immediately. Immediately. Jimmy Billy Crystal, everyone. Standing up, falling down in theaters and on v. O. D. February 21st. Well be back with the tenderloins. 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Mayor bloomberg and president obama worked together in the fight for gun safety laws, to improve education, and to develop innovative ways to help teens gain the skills needed to find good jobs. Obama at a time when washington is divided in old ideological battles he shows us what can be achieved when we bring people together to seek pragmatic solutions. Bloomberg im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. Dicky if youre going to be in the l. A. Area and you want to see the show, go to jimmykimmellive. Com. From your commute to all your every day purchases, tap with your mastercard. Every day is a chance to start something priceless. Then theres fresh value from subway. Like the six inch oven roasted chicken for just two ninetynine. Its seasoned all white meat chicken raised without antibiotics. Start the year off fresh. Fresh value. Only from subway. 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Obama at a time when washington is divided in old ideological battles he shows us what can be achieved when we bring people together to seek pragmatic solutions. Bloomberg im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi there, welcome back. Still to come, music from Kelsea Ballerini. Our next guests are four grown men who torture each other for money on their very popular show impractical jokers. Next, they shift their shenanigans to the big screen. Impractical jokers the movie opens in theaters on february 21st. Please welcome joe gatto, james murray, brian quinn and sal vulcano. The tenderloins. [ cheers and applause ] whoo all right jimmy let me say right at the beginning, this kind of thing is right up my alley. Tell everyone how long you guys have been doing this stuff to each other. We met as freshmen in high school in 1990. First day of high school. First day of high school. Jimmy 1990. And then you guys went your separate ways briefly and you came together and youve been doing, pulling pranks on each other and doing terrible things to each other. As best friends do. Jimmy for many, many years. Its like all the great love stories. We were together. We separated. We found each other. Jimmy i would imagine, though, that it is a very stressful way to live. How many episodes of the show have you done . 200 airs next week. 200th episode. Jimmy thats a crazy amount of shows. I think were on to something. People think its so fun. They watch it, theyre like, we want to hang out with you guys, you want to try it out, what you guys do, it looks so much fun. And i like just to be frank, its terrible. Its not fun. Jimmy it seems terrible. Its no way to live your life. We live our lives riddled with anxiety. You can never get comfortable. Jimmy like honestly, right now, are any of you worried that somethings going to happen . I dont think this is real. He said to me backstage, he goes, oh, no, youre sitting behind me. Jimmy because i am a little worried somethings going to happen to me right now. As you should be. Jimmy i came in with my spider senses tingling right now. And your families are not exempt from this. Like everybodys involved. Right . Oh, yeah. Thats actually the worst part of it. You would think that your family would want to protect you. They cant wait for that phone to ring to be like, oh, i get to be on tv and i get to mess with my brother . We shot the movie, we did this bit in the movie where they had me doing a talk in a social media thing. What are 43yearold guys doing teaching people about social media . Stupid to begin with. And i throw it over to video and the video comes over and its some stupid social media nonsense. And he on the day off from the movie flew up to pennsylvania where my parents live and had them shoot a fake porn movie. They took to it so naturally. And my mother goes to church three times a week. And she was saying things like oh, do your pipes need cleaning and stuff like that. She goes on wednesdays even when nobodys there. She locks up when shes done. Its a wednesday . Take it easy, carol. He directed them in the porno he grew up with. Jimmy that is crazy. And that is fun. And now youre talking about this movie. How is the movie different from the Television Show . Well, its we finally had the opportunity to do all the big things we wanted to do. We had a lot of ideas we never could fit into a 22minute episode. Now with the movie, we have free rein to wreak havoc. Everything they said no to us over the ten years, we put it on a list. And with the movie we did everything they said we couldnt do. Jimmy paula abdul is in the movie. How did that happen. By magic. Part of the movie takes place in the 90s when we met in high school. And we wanted someone that represented that era for us. She was really huge for us back then. I personally had a very big crush on paula abdul, she was one of my first, oh, women the opposites attract song was written after sal i had teen magazines and id rip it and i had like paula abdul all over my wall. And i didnt tell her that when we filmed. I was like, its a pleasure to meet you. This will be a professional endeavor. Jimmy were you too embarrassed to tell her that . I was a little shy. Funny enough i had two crushes back then. Paula abdul and Billy Crystal. They both had unlimited talent and figures that just wont quit. Jimmy i hope you got to meet Billy Crystal and fulfill that fantasy. I went up to say hi to him backstage and somebody came out and cracked my neck. They really didnt want that was Billy Crystal. He ordered a coffee from me. I had to give him a latte. Jimmy but re also for once have a nice surprise for you, sal. Something that i think actually youre going to really take to. [ cheers and applause ] dont kill her dont kill her jimmy paula, sit, sit, how are you . Sit feel free to sit right on sal if you want to. This, this is quite the pickle. Jimmy tell paula. Tell her more. Jimmy tell her all the stuff you didnt want to tell her. You know what the funniest thing is, ive got them on set, hes the one that keeps walking away from me. You know, because because look at him. He cant even talk. [ laughter ] he cant even get it out. You know, jimmy, you know. We were friends, but i never revealed to you that i had this jimmy look into paulas eyes when you tell her these things. I feel like im the bachelor right now. Tell her how you feel about her. So i will give you a moment, buddy. Go, go, go. Well be over here. Well be over here. [ cheers and applause ] set the mood. A little romance. It was 1989. Summerish. And straight up just came out. And it was the song of the summer for me. It was the song of the summer for all of us. And it was just hit after hit. It was coldhearted snake, it was opposites attract. I fell for you hook line and sinker. I had you all over my wall. It was you and george michael. And god bless. And here we are right now. This is honestly everything ive done in the show in a decade this is the most uncomfortable ive ever been. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy by the way. Not only, not only do we have this rose and this beautiful meeting with paula, but weve been able to get you, the two of you a pair of tickets to the sonic the hedgehog movie for valentines day. Date night. Impractical jokers the movie opens in theaters february 21st. Thank you all for being here. Well be right back with Kelsea Ballerini. [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by the 2020 gle. Mercedes benz. The best or nothing. Putting term limits on congress, about washington insiders went crazy. They said term limits are bad, that theyll break government. What a joke congress is working fine for politicians and corporations, but its not doing anything for real people on climate, health care or gun safety. The only way we get new ideas is electing new people, including a president willing to shakeup washington. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. Othroughout the country for the past twelve years, mr. Michael bloomberg is here. Vo leadership in action. Mayor bloomberg and president obama worked together in the fight for gun safety laws, to improve education, and to develop innovative ways to help teens gain the skills needed to find good jobs. Obama at a time when washington is divided in old ideological battles he shows us what can be achieved when we bring people together to seek pragmatic solutions. Bloomberg im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy thanks to Billy Crystal, paula abdul and the tenderloins. Apologies to matt damon. Nightline is next, but first this is her album. Its called kelsea. Here with the song homecoming queen, Kelsea Ballerini [cheers and applause] hey, homecoming queen why do you lie when somebodys mean where do you hide do people assume youre always alright been so good at smiling most of your life look damn good in the dress zipping up the mess dancing with your best foot forward does it get hard to have to play the part nobodys feeling sorry for ya but what if i told you the world wouldnt end if you started showing whats under your skin what if you let em all in on the lie even the homecoming queen cries hey homecoming queen hows things at home still walking on egg shells when that curtains closed did your daddy teach you how to act tough or more like your mama sweep it under the rug look damn good in the dress zipping up the mess dancing with your best foot forward did you want the crown or does it weigh you down nobodys feeling sorry for ya what if i told you the world wouldnt end if you started showing whats under your skin what if you let em all in on the lie even the homecoming queen cries yeah, what if i told you the sky wouldnt fall if you lost your composure said to hell with it all not everything pretty sparkles and shines and even the homecoming queen cries ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh oh, yeah ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh even the homecoming queen cries ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh mmmmm ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh hey homecoming queen why do you lie when somebodys mean where do you hide [ cheers and applause ] announcer this is nightline. Tonight, manmade. Pumping iron and breaking barriers. Transgender bodybuilders. As far back as i could remember i thought i was a boy. Redefining the sport by repping their truth. At a time when rights in their community are targeted. How theyre challenging the narrative of masculinity. Plus finding the next american idol. I rise like the day the Inspiring Stories of aspiring singers, hoping to rise up. Its going to change my life. How three allstar judges transformed wideeyed hopefuls. I think a lot of artists are working from a place of pain