Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20200123

which is how i felt watching the impeachment trial. kind of came full circle. neither of us threw up. the earthquake wasn't a big earthquake but we still felt it. i still got a glass of water out of the toilet. [ laughter ] just to prepare myself for the next time. you know, the first thing i do now when there's an earthquake, i get my phone, i go on twitter. why, i don't know. i look at it and there's a bunch of people going, earthquake! yeah. our democracy is on shaky ground too. democrats today made their opening arguments in the impeachment trial. opening? if those are the opening arguments what the hell was that 13 hours i watched yesterday? [ laughter ] the senate pulled an all-nighter, they didn't finish until 2:00 a.m. because they cannot agree on anything. late last night someone had an idea to get some agreement going. chuck schumer, the house minority leader, asked for a vote that we give john roberts, chief justice of the supreme court, the power to decide who would get subpoenaed and who wouldn't, all the republicans voted no on that. they won't even allow the conservative head of the supreme court, who was appointed by a republican president, make decisions because they don't want to hear what trump did, they just want to let him off with their eyes closed and their fingers in their ears. the democrats chose the president's favorite, adam schiff, to kick things off today. schiff spoke for 2 1/2 hours and made a very persuasive case, visual aids and everything, a visual power point presentation, much of it sound bites of trump himself, and he invoked the founding fathers, schiff quoted hamilton so many times today he was nominated for five tony awards. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] schiff spoke and a number of democrats spoke very passionately. there was some riveting stuff. to everyone other than mitch mcconnell. >> if i may, what i was going to suggest was at 6:30 we take a 30-minute break for dinner. okay? >> so break the 6:30? okay. >> what i was going to suggest is a break for dinner at 6:30 for about 30 minutes. that work? >> jimmy: right, yeah, we -- will somebody get grandma to golden corral already? [ laughter ] he allowed more time for dinner than witnesses at this trial. some of the senators are said to be having trouble staying awake. since cameras are controlled by the senate we don't get to see that, we have to rely on a courtroom sketch artist to show us what is going on offstage. this is a sketch, this is real, this is of senator gym rich of idaho. where's that my pillow lunatic when we actually need him? a spokesman said he wasn't sleeping, he was just listening closely, exactly what my grandmother used to say when she was sleeping. democrats have a strategy in place. they believe if they talk for long enough, mitch mcconnell will eventually die of old age. [ laughter ] and they'll have a shot at a real trial. [ cheers and applause ] there are reports from "the washington post" that say democrats are talking about making a deal with republicans to be able to call witnesses. the idea being, they would get to call someone like john bolton in exchange for someone like hunter biden. i didn't realize witnesses were like pokemon cards. i'll give you a sharzard for lev parnas. at one point last night justice roberts had to admonish both sides for what he called some kind of ungentlemanly behavior. it was tense. but there were light moments too including this funny one-liner from white house counsel pat cimallone. >> president trump is a man of his word. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: get him a netflix comedy special fast! so the president himself wasn't here, he was in switzerland for the past few days at the world economic forum where he weighed in on his trial and said another stupid thing. he said he felt confident that he would be acquitted because we have all the material, they don't have the material. because he refuses to turn any of the documents and evidence over. he cannot help but brag. even if it hurts him, he can't keep that big orange mouth shut. the president also elaborated on the fact that in 1999, he criticized attorney ken starr, who is now his attorney, during bill clinton's impeachment, he called starr a lunatic and a disaster. they asked why he said that, and what he thinks of ken starr now. >> so ken starr is a -- a terrific man. i did make that statement because frankly i didn't think that bill clinton should have been impeached. i didn't know ken, but what i did know is he was very smart, he was very tough, he was very talented. but in a certain way i was sticking up for clinton, for bill clinton. and -- you know, i felt -- i sort of still feel that way, i mean, what he did was nothing good, it was a lot of lying going on, there were a lot of things, a lot of bad things. now with me there's no lying, there's no nothing, they have nothing, they don't even have a crime. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nothing at all, no lying. [ applause ] he actually lied while saying there was no lying. not only does he keep saying perfect call, he believes this impeachment has been in the works for a very long time. >> our country's been tied up with this hoax from the day i came down the escalator. >> jimmy: maybe start taking the stairs then, i don't know. he loves talking about that escalator. he's referring to when he announced his candidacy in 2015 at trump tower, he came down the escalator. this is something he likes to reminisce about a lot. >> this has gone on since the day i came down the escalator. it's been going on from before i came down the escalator. from the day i came down the escalator. from the day i came down the escalator. before i came down the escalator. sometime right after we came down the escalator. before i took that great escalator ride down. since june 16th, the famous escalator ride. june 16th, down the escalator, remember the famous escalator ride? june 16th, coming down that escalator. we came down the escalator, that famous escalator ride. the famous escalator ride. coming down that now very famous escalator. when i came down the famous escalator ride. i came down that beautiful escalator. i came down, beautiful escalator. we went down that escalator. and here we are. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here we are, that's right. [ applause ] it's funny. because just notice his mouth says escalator. but his hand says water slide. [ laughter ] and it's weird to think this whole disaster of a presidency could have been avoided if somebody had just put one of these on the ground. at trump tower. [ cheers and applause ] one janitor could have solved the whole thing. today happens to be the president and first lady's 15th anniversary which they celebrated by being 4,000 miles away from each other. melania had a candlelit dinner tonight because it's dark in the tunnel she's digging. a personal record for most tweets in the day since he became president, he tweeted 140 times today, not one of those times was about his anniversary. he did promote ted cruz's new podcast, that was important. he's not a social media kind of guy, that wasn't the be best story of the day. this is who i would love to see the senate call as a witness. maybe the most ridiculous character in this ukraine soap opera of many ridiculous characters yet is a politician named robert hyde. he's a big trump supporter, he's running for congress in connecticut. he was on the other end of some very suspicious text messages with rudy giuliani's dirt digger, lev parnas. the texts indicate he was having the now former u.s. ambassador to ukraine, the one trump got rid of, followed. so hyde was on cnn last night, presumably to explain this to chris cuomo, but that is not exactly how it played out. >> the decision to start being involved with him about what was going on with the then u.s. ambassador to ukraine, how did that happen? >> well, first off, i'd like to say i brought you a gift. >> appreciate it. >> i brought a blue one for you. >> i like it, thank you. help me understand -- >> number two is, this is my third interview ever live on tv, i want the public to know that. i brought notes. if you notice, i'm not sweating like lev, i've been here all night. you called me last night while i was in bed, i agreed to it this morning. >> appreciate it. >> i apologize to eric bowling, my man, i was supposed to do him first, hopefully he lets me back on someday. i brought notes from the crown plaza, not the ritts, like lev. you guys put me in the crown. i made these notes pretty much in the bathroom. >> jimmy: well. [ laughter ] this is off to a rollicking start. and it only got better from there. >> i want to thank you and cnn for this opportunity. i want to thank president trump and the u.s. military for providing us the blanket of freedom to do this show. i want to congratulate derek jeter. that was huge. >> hall of fame. >> absolutely. >> hold on -- >> hold on, i'm almost finished, please. trace apparel for making me look good. >> mr. hyde -- >> hold on i'm almost done. honestly, i would like to apologize on behalf of republicans and myself for the name calling that happened with you and your daughter at that bar with that guy that, you know -- >> don't worry about it. >> so i would like to say that i never have called you those names, i don't see it in you. >> jimmy: it's like every word is like the world's most embarrassing best man speech. [ laughter ] chris cuomo, he had to work very hard to get to the reason this guy was there, which was to talk about lev parnas. >> here's what i'm doing, ready? okay. so how much time do we have? >> jimmy: let me tell you something, this is when i miss chris farley the most, at times like this right there. then after eating up a good chunk of time saying nothing, robert hyde had the temerity to ask for more time. >> just asking you some questions about facts, i appreciate you giving me the information. >> can we have a few more minutes? >> no, i got to go to break. >> let's -- i mean, we got like -- >> let me do this. >> largest tax cuts, 7 million jobs -- >> this is about the impeachment. he'll make the case -- >> where's the bribery? where's the treason? read the transcripts. >> that's the case -- >> read the transcripts. >> i'll talk to you about it -- >> black and white like michael jackson. [ audience moaning ] >> jimmy: chris cuomo's like, no, beat it like michael jackson. so there you go, our next republican nominee for president right this. enough of the craziness in washington. let's get to the craziness in florida. tonight's edition of "this week in florida." >> in south florida, forecasters warning people about frozen iguanas falling from trees due to extreme cold temperatures. >> jimmy: by the way, historically it's never a good sign for humanity when reptiles start raining from the sky. we've moved on to the biblical plague part of the apocalypse now. this is one of the frozen igu a iguanas. these things can get up to five feet long, so if they fall on your head from the tree, frozen solid, it can be bad. some people in florida, this is not a joke, now that these iguanas are freezing up, they're online selling them for meat. i know. they call it chicken of the trees. [ laughter ] for real. which i guess is more appetizing than lizard of the driveway. but this is a perfect florida story. it's so perfect, in fact, you could take any crazy headline from the sunshine state, and there are many, and replace the words "florida man" with "falling iguana" and the works. for instance, falling iguana caught exposing himself in walmart pillow aisle. falling i guess juan that learned hard way he stoeg laxatives. falling iguana intentionally drove ferrari 360 into ocean at top speed. falling iguana denies syringes found in rectum are his. thank you, florida, for never letting us down. we don't have falling iguanas on our show tonight, unfortunately. we do have animals of other types. let's check in backstage with dave salmoni who brings us our animals from time to time. >> how are you? >> jimmy: hi, dave. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: explain who you have there, dave. >> it's a prairie dog. >> jimmy: that looks like a really cute little thing. >> jimmy: very cute. >> yet the reason we won't be seeing the prairie dog out here on stage tonight is because during rehearsal, one of them bit dave viciously, right? >> i didn't have a prairie dog treat at the time. >> jimmy: what? >> treats, he's not going to bite me, i hope. >> jimmy: as long as you have prairie dog treats, which are what? >> sweet potato, carrot. as he gets wiggly like this, i'm risking another nibble. >> jimmy: yes, you are risking a nibble. well, i hope i don't get nibbled tonight. >> i can't promise. >> jimmy: are there rabid prairie dogs too or just regular dogs? >> there can be. but not tonight. >> jimmy: all right. so dave has -- what animals did you bring for us? >> some australian animals, a wallaby, a cockatoo, our next rattlesnake. >> jimmy: oh. okay. didn't i tell you not to bring rattle neighbors? >> thii think you did but your staff didn't get the note. >> jimmy: we're going to see a rattlesnake eat a prairie dog tonight. we have a bunch of -- dave has wild animals, music from the weeknd. we'll be right back with colin farrell! i'm your mother in law. and i like to question your every move. like this left turn. it's the next one. you always drive this slow? how did you make someone i love? that must be why you're always so late. i do not speed. and that's saving me cash with drivewise. my son, he did say that you were the safe option. and that's the nicest thing you ever said to me. so get allstate. stop bossing. where good drivers save 40% for avoiding mayhem, like me. this is my son's favorite color, you should try it. 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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight he is animals' best friend, you know him from animal planet, dave salmoni is here with a wallaby, a rattlesnake -- i don't know why he brought a rattlesnake. am i supposed to pet the rattlesnake? what are we going to do with it? his song is called "blinding lights." music from the weeknd tonight. a very, very special performance for us tonight. tomorrow kumail nanjiani and sting will be here. so join us for that. our first guest is a golden globe-winning actor whom you know from films about fantastic beasts, flying elephants and lobsters too. you can see him alongside matthew mcconaughey in the guy ritchie gangster movie "the gentlemen." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome colin farrell. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how's it going? >> going good, man. >> jimmy: very good to see you. did you feel the earthquake last night? >> i did, the earth moved for me last night. >> jimmy: they don't have earthquakes in ireland, do they? >> no, we have rain. >> jimmy: just rain. >> no poisonous animals. i saw your monologue. i got online. i don't have twitter so i looked up earthquake.com. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> just in case you don't know, it was a 3.6, san fernando valley. same thing as you did, it's a testament to wanting to share things with people. >> jimmy: also you want to know if it was really far away and something terrible happened, or if it was close by and it was a little one. >> i want to be a little bit -- i say this with respect with how pear-shaped it can go, i wanted it to be a little bit stronger. >> jimmy: you did. you like your earthquakes a little bit stronger. >> i like my earthquakes a little bit spicier. but nothing more than a 4.2. >> jimmy: spicy. >> 4.2, nobody injured, nobody hurt. i don't want to belittle such things. >> jimmy: have you been home to ireland -- >> never. >> jimmy: -- since the last time i saw you? >> yes, i have. >> jimmy: the last time you were here -- >> we did, a conversation. >> jimmy: about a restaurant you love. >> kabob shop. >> jimmy: kabob, what's it called? >> how could you forget? abra-kabob-ra. >> jimmy: i will never forget it again. you talked about this. they give you some kind of a card? >> yes, i brought -- >> jimmy: a gold card. >> they give you a gold card. because i talk -- i had done an interview for this kabob shop in aer lingus magazine, our national airline. the good people at abra-kabob shop, they gave me that gold card. then of course i came on lovely ellen's show, i came on lovely your show, i basically took the [ bleep ] thing international. i got a call saying they had printed up a black card. >> jimmy: it's above the gold card? >> ain't no one has a black card. >> jimmy: no one has a black card except you. >> the pope doesn't have a black card. i can bring the pope for a free kabob because that's what i get. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that would be quite an outing. a gold card -- >> a gold card i could feed myself for free. >> jimmy: right. >> and the black card i can feed the two of us. >> jimmy: just two people? >> no, no, whoever i want. >> jimmy: anyone you want. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: no limit? >> yeah. no, i mean, i could do you, yeah. >> jimmy: you could get on tour bus -- >> i could have two tour buses outside, then we'd have to get on l.a.x., get on airplanes, fly to dublin, which would be great for all of us, and we'd have a laugh, of course, but then i'd be out of pocket. >> jimmy: when we got there you wouldn't have to pay for lunch. >> do you want to see it? >> jimmy: of course i want to see it. you actually carry it with you, huh? >> what are you laughing about, wise guy? >> jimmy: is there a number? let me hold it up. >> read the back. >> jimmy: the back says, absolutely no restrictions apply to colin farrell, the original gold card holder. can i show that? wow, you're unrestricted. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations. i feel like i should have one too. i mean, ellen doesn't eat meat, she's not going to use hers. >> i'll talk to the people upstairs. >> jimmy: please, talk to the magicians who run the place. >> so charmed by that, i can't tell you how giddy i was when that came in the post. >> jimmy: your family must be excited. have you ever done one of those like ancestry things to find out what your background is? >> yeah, 20 and me or something. >> jimmy: you did that, what did you find? >> not a lot. i found out that i was about ball pork 98.7% irish. >> jimmy: oh, almost totally, wow. >> yeah, so disappointed i'm not the real deal. [ laughter ] only 98.7%. but yeah. i'm neanderthal 96.%, so i basically have [ bleep ]. >> jimmy:ny than der that will. what about the 1.3%? >> i don't know, man. that was i think central european? it didn't get -- >> jimmy: basically someone went on vacation and got knocked up from ireland. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's how you got the 1.3%. >> spanish armada, black irish. >> jimmy: you didn't meet any like relatives or anything like that? anybody you didn't know? >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> i've never had any call through the years of people looking for anything off me. well, that's not true. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now you got the card. >> that's a different story. but -- 18 years ago when i come over here first, i had my first premieres here, i used to bring uncles and aunties and stuff over. life has changed for whatever reason. it was fun, 20 of them coming over. i remember seeing my uncle on the television behind me doing an interview, his face beet red, he was in universal studios all day, he wore no sun cream, bead red, blistering, behind me going, come here, come here! >> jimmy: we're going to see a clip from your new movie called "the gentlemen." colin farrell is here. maybe uncle junior too, we don't know. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by old spice ultra smooth. available at walgreens. smell like your own man, man. $12.99 all you can eat ♪ now with boneless wings. only at applebee's. have you ever wondered what the motorcade driver drives, when they're not in the motorcade? ♪ [ car engine revving ] this one drives a volkswagen passat. in 2016 i warned thatt donald trump was a dangerous demagogue, and when the republican congress wouldn't hold him accountable, i went to work helping run winning campaigns in twenty-one house seats. it's time for the senate to act and remove trump from office, and if they won't do their jobs, this november you and i will. i'm mike bloomberg and i approve this message. his name the phahawker. anyway. he's the guy who gave us the job, you know? >> yeah, we've met before, haven't we, [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> yeah, that's the one. >> [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> don't do anything stupid, now, son, all right? >> jimmy: that is "the gentlemen." colin farrell. it opens in theaters on friday. guy ritchie directed the movie. >> should have had subtitles? >> jimmy: i know. we had debate about whether we could show that clip. i think some of it is going to get bleeped, some of it will not will be we made an impassioned argument to keep as much as it as we could. >> which of course competed with the impeachment for headlines and was all over cnn. this sounds very grave and i am grateful for the amount of energy and respect deciding what was fit for the common consumer. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i went up to the fcc and banged on the door and i said, we are playing this clip, it's going to be bleeped to the point where it's completely unintelligible, but dammit! look, i did it again. we're going to play it. >> you're nothing if not a fighter. guy ritchie was amazing to work with "matthew mcconaughey -- >> math you you you you you youu he creates this drug empire around marijuana. he's decided to move on in life. he's made a fortune, he wants him and his missus to ride off into the sunset, he decides to sell his business. people hear about that, they think there's a chink in his armor, the sharks start circling. i'm dragged in by virtue of the boys that i train, i'm a boxing coach. the boys i train kind of rip him off. >> jimmy: tell us the ending while you're at it, go all the way through. [ laughter ] >> that's the first five minutes. you might have noticed how rapidly i speak. >> jimmy: you're also playing the penguin. can we say that you're playing the penguin in the batman movie? >> yeah, you just did, i believe so, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you were bull's-eye in the "daredevil" movie and i thought you were fantastic, i really liked that. >> that's a small demographic, thank you. >> jimmy: no, i thought -- >> no, i'm not being facetious. >> jimmy: the penguin, it surprises me that you were the penguin, because usually the penguin is a short, fat person. >> yeah, i had some time to eat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how much time do you have before you start shooting? >> three weeks but i'm an addict. >> jimmy: you can get there in three weeks? >> yeah, just go back to abra-kabob-ra with my black card. >> jimmy: will you actually put on -- >> i don't know, i'm in the process of talking to matt reeves, the director, who wrote the script, like really beautiful, dark, moving script, gorgeous. >> jimmy: you read the whole thing? >> yeah, yeah, with a chain around my arm, cryogenically frozen script, it's very hush-hush. it's a really beautiful script he wrote. he has a real love for it. we're still in the process of just finishing, designing the aesthetic. >> jimmy: robert pattinson is batman. >> robert pattinson is batman. >> jimmy: paul dan know is the riddler? >> yeah, jeffrey wright's in there, zoe kravitz. >> jimmy: cat woman? >> yeah. yeah, really cool cast. really cool cast, a lot of villains. the kids are tired of me playing a villain. they're embarrassed by it. >> jimmy: they'll get action figures. >> why didn't i think of that? i'll use the opportunity to tell them what a good guy i am in real life. >> jimmy: daddy's going to have action figures, that's the sentence every father has wanted to share with their children. >> i tried to use that on "dumbo" bud they'd gone past that. >> jimmy: did danny devito send his penguin blessing? >> somebody sent me a link that he did. >> jimmy: did it over the internet? >> yeah, it was very personal. [ laughter ] yeah, danny's a sweetheart. someone sent me a link. he said just that i was a decent actor or some [ bleep ]. i don't know. everyone should be able to experience anything, all that kind of good stuff. >> jimmy: that will be fun, i look forward to that. >> me too. >> jimmy: "the gentlemen" opens in theaters on friday. colin farrell, everybody! we'll be right back with dave salmoni and wild animals. it sometimes. we get in over our heads. way over... asking for help is a skill we learn early. and use often, if we're wise. having another person in your corner is huge. and if you need expert help with something as important as taxes, we're here. i freelanced last year what expenses can i clam? i can help you with that let's take a look. people can be good at anything. yes, even taxes. intuit turbotax yes, even taxes. introducing wendy's 2 for 5. ♪ yeah the only 2 for 5 with wendy's fresh, never frozen beef and the spicy chicken you crave. choose from the dave's single, spicy chicken sandwich, 10 piece crispy, or spicy nuggets. pick any two for 5 bucks! only at wendy's. ♪ not one, but two steady the elbow.shoot me one? ♪ ♪ ahh boom shaka laka. feisty. ♪ ahh i put it on, popped the collar and looked at the brand- and when i saw the price tag i was like, oh yeah, this is- this is a keeper brands that wow. prices that thrill. marshalls. your surprise is waiting! curiosity- prices that thrill. it ignites our imagination. in search of inspiration and daring new ideas. at lexus our greatest curiosity isn't a machine? it's you. experience the rewards of our curiosity. of a lifetime. it's "progressive on ice." everything you love about car insurance -- the discounts... the rate comparisons... and flo in a boat. ♪ insurance adventure awaits at "progressive on ice." tickets not available now or ever. >> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, music from the weeknd. our next guest loves animals so much, he makes dr. dolittle look like colonel sanders. on february 2nd animal planet presents puppy bowl xvi. please say to hello to the canadian tarzan, dave salmoni. hi, dave. >> how are you? >> jimmy: good, how are you? >> say hello. i am fantastic. good to see you. >> jimmy: oh, look at this, right off the bat with the animals, huh? that is a fox, correct? >> this is a gray fox, which makes him unique and amazing. >> jimmy: why? >> because they're not the same as the red foxes that are a little bit more common. these guys are super cool. they're found in california. >> jimmy: they are? backstage? [ laughter ] >> that's where i got this one. the thing that's really cool about these guys, they live in trees, mostly. >> jimmy: they do? >> they hang in trees, they're like little squirrels up there. >> jimmy: are they in southern california? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: they're in our trees and we don't know they're there? >> they're shy. you know the saying, sly as a fox? >> jimmy: yes. >> these guys are super, super smart. they're sly. they know where to go where they're not going to bother people and they can live off almost anything. >> jimmy: when you say almost anything, you mean plants? animals? >> yeah, they can eat some plant things. >> jimmy: they like to eat like rodents? >> they love -- yeah, you're right. >> jimmy: this guy -- that's his tail? >> you want to hold him? >> jimmy: no, not at all. >> this guy really likes if you hold him -- >> jimmy: what i like is to not hold him. >> there you go, there you go. >> jimmy: okay. why does he smell like hay? >> that's his bedding. so you can see --? yeah, he smells like hay, yeah. >> you're a pro. >> jimmy: for sure, yeah. >> while you've got him there -- >> jimmy: is he comfortable like this? >> him particularly likes -- i wouldn't say all. these are not good pets are you don't want to grab a gray fox -- >> jimmy: why? >> because they are nocturnal, because they bite -- [ laughter ] you can see these are semi-retractable, this is what helps them climb a lot. >> jimmy: oh, that's great, get him off of me, will you? thank you. don't tell me bite after i hold them. i need to know what i'm getting into. >> a warning. >> jimmy: i need the warning before the animal -- >> they want you want to hold them. >> jimmy: is this woman with you? >> anybody that's willing to hold it, i like to hand it out. we've got to spread the animal love to as many people -- >> jimmy: what do we have here? >> slender build cockatoo. >> jimmy: okay, i'm not scared of this. >> put your hand out and see if he'll jump across -- >> jimmy: hand or arm? >> either one. >> jimmy: he's on me. >> i'm going to make him see the camera -- you don't have to be a pirate. there you go. >> jimmy: i want to be a pirate. >> now i think -- yeah, you're a pro. the cool thing, i don't feel you can see the front of him -- >> jimmy: it's talking. >> these guys are very vocal. hello, pretty girl. hi. they talk. which is one of the cool things. these guys can do different lang ruages and thing >> jimmy: this one's been around a clown it sounds like. >> so they're super social animals. which is why they're so good at vocalizing. >> jimmy: okay. >> now you see the tip of he's beak? it looks really, really long on the top. the slender build, they use that as a tool. they'll dig and find roots and find seeds. you look so comfortable. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. i feel like i should be bronzed in central park right now. >> you might be deaf in one year if it keeps going. >> jimmy: yeah, this is not bad, i'm okay with this, i could get used to this, i guess. >> they like to be scratched a little bit. see how they get the feathers up there? >> jimmy: birds like to be scratched. you think that never probably happens in the wild, right? >> yeah maybe. maybe they use their beak and scratch each other that way. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> yeah, super fun. >> jimmy: i think we -- yeah, okay, now he's getting in my -- >> let me see if i can get him. >> jimmy: okay, he's about to fall, all right, there we go. okay, great. there you go. all right, thank you. that was what again? >> that was a slender build cockatoo. >> jimmy: slender build cockatoo. oh, look at that. oh my goodness. >> keeping with the australian theme -- there we go. a little hop-around. grab your branch. this one's going to like the branch. i'm going to try and grab him. this is a wallaby. another australian. that slender build cockatoo is australian, so is this guy. he's going to relax there. just try to hand it to him. >> jimmy: pass it over? >> yeah, sure, see if he grabs it. >> jimmy: all right. he'll grab it with his fingers? >> let me see if i can put it on the ground for him, grab it down there. there you go. now -- >> jimmy: are these dangerous? >> they can be dangerous. actually it's interesting you say it. most people don't think. >> jimmy: i say it about every one of the animals you bring out. >> what's interesting, you see those big toes in the front as he's eating there, that's his big defense. he uses his tail as sort of his balance. if something comes that's going to threaten him that he doesn't like, a dog or something like that, it's going to come back on its tail ask use those big toes and they're very, very sharp and they're super duper strong. if you're getting threatened by one of these guys -- >> jimmy: speaking of threatened, on a serious note, these fires in australia have been devastating to animals like the wallaby. >> it's the worst. 15 million acres have been lost. it's one of the most devastating things i've heard of for wildlife. >> jimmy: we thought it might be nice to mention if you want to help the animals in australia, go to ifaw.org and donate and help. look at how adorable this thing actually is. >> you can text australia to 707070. it's a project that we're doing. >> jimmy: the word "australia"? >> text "australia" to 707070. >> jimmy: i think it's easier the way i mentioned. >> your way is awesome. >> jimmy: go to ifwa.org to donate. when we come back, what are we going to bring out here? >> something fun. >> jimmy: something not fun. dave salmoni is here. we'll be right back. you met on an app. delete it. why? he's the one. gesundheit. 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(stammering) w-we have a melon rind stew. comes with a pork and bean reduction. yeah, we're going to just do a lap and we'll come back. okay. well, we'll be here. man! why isn't this working? my mouth is watering. i think that's just your rabies flaring up. with geico, the savings keep on going. just like this sequel. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. we got gristle pot pies! about finding good food ind have school.y so, when my wife kat and i learned california public school children couldn't get fresh produce in the cafeteria, we took action. we partnered with local farmers, school kitchens, a non-profit. that program now serves over 300 million healthy meals every year. the difference between words and actions matters. that's a lesson washington dc could use, right now. i'm tom steyer and i approve this message. >> jimmy: hi, we're back with dave salmoni. the weeknd is on the way. okay, let's dothisou ready? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, i guess so, yeah. >> you look so comfortable. >> jimmy: this is the worst one you've ever brought. there's a box back here and it says "venomous rattlesnake" on it. >> i'm coming, i'm cocking, sorry. >> jimmy: can't we leave it in the box and take your word for it and go home? >> we can, we can. >> jimmy: okay, there it is. >> this is a western rattlesnake. come over here, jimmy. right here where my legs are. let me tell you my favorite things about a rattlesnake. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the obvious thing is -- >> jimmy: it's mad, it's real mad right now. >> it's not mad. it's interesting. people think of these guys as aggressive. really that rattle is him being a pacifist. i'm saying, i only want to bite rats and bunny bits. the rattle's here to say, you probably don't see me but listen to me, i'm here, don't touch me. people get bit are typically the ones who step on him or something. >> jimmy: or bring him on a show, yeah. >> this guy loves to be here, he's fine. >> jimmy: he is not happy, he is mad. >> he's perfectly happy, trust me. an unhappy snake is going to be starting off, doing nasty thing. this is him being natural. >> jimmy: i'm not sucking the poison out if it bites you. >> the interesting thing about these guys is they're keying in on body heat. you can see -- all right. whoa, whoa, whoa. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: are you kidding me? >> you're all right, you're all right. >> jimmy: are you out of your mind? did you see what it just did? >> yeah, i did, he's all right. >> jimmy: it made a move. >> he's okay. i'm going to let you see his head and see his rattle at the same time. that's just him telling you, this is my space. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he wants to define his area. >> jimmy: keep your eyes on him, don't worry about me. >> i could show you -- so he showed you his big strike there. we can sort of describe what that's for. he's a venomous snake, it will dissolve some of the tissue he bites into. he wants to hide near a game trail where a rodent's going to come by and he's going to strike out like that. do you want me to show you how he uses those lovely teeth? >> jimmy: oh-oh, guillermo. >> guillermo, come over here. >> jimmy: guillermo, bring in the balloon. >> do you want to come in? >> guillermo: i'm okay here. >> he's hiding, it's nighttime, he's looking for food, keying into body heat. then you go -- >> jimmy: he doesn't mind balloons, i guess. >> i'm going to get him in a better body position so he can strike out. he's relaxing. okay, big guy. there we go. oh! >> jimmy: whoa! that was crazy. >> that's going to have venom on it so don't touch it. >> jimmy: don't eat it, don't try to reinflate it. >> you know how i always love to let you take part in animal fun. >> jimmy: no. >> we have -- >> jimmy: are you out of your mind? >> come here, come on down. >> jimmy: guillermo, you want to do this? [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: yeah, let's do this. >> come around this way, come behind me. you guys stay together. guillermo, go right next to jimmy. >> jimmy: stay really close to me, guillermo. >> he's keying in on your body heat. >> jimmy: he's keying on my body heat? >> yep. let me just -- oh! >> jimmy: he made a move for it. >> give to it him. >> jimmy: there you go, sting the balloon. okay, don't get close. >> there you go, big guy. >> guillermo: should we go to commercial? >> jimmy: oh, he missed. >> it's because he's actually striking for me. >> jimmy: that's great, dave, go home, enough. dave salmoni, everybody. puppy bowl xvi. we'll be back with the weeknd. did you know this is where you can harness your inner jedi? and tear around radiator springs? or get your flex on with the incredibles. kids enjoy the magic for just $67 per child per day, with a 3-day 1-park per day ticket. kids enjoy the magic for just $67 per child per day, can it help keep me asleep? absolutely, it senses your movements and automatically adjusts to keep you both comfortable. it's the final days to save $1,000 on the sleep number 360 special edition smart bed. plus, 0% interest for 36-months. ends saturday. >> jimmy: our thanks to colin farrell and dave salmoni and the animals. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time with him. "nightline" is next. but first here with the song "blinding lights," the weeknd! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i've been tryna call i've been on my own for long enough maybe you can show me ♪ ♪ how to love maybe i'm going through withdrawals you don't even have ♪ ♪ to do too much you can turn me on with just a touch, baby i look around and ♪ ♪ sin city's cold and empty no one's around to judge me i can't see clearly ♪ ♪ when you're gone i said, oh i'm blinded by the lights no, i can't sleep ♪ ♪ until i feel your touch i said, oh i'm drowning in the night oh, when i'm like this ♪ ♪ you're the one i trust hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ i'm running out of time 'cause i can see ♪ ♪ the sun light up the sky so i hit the road in overdrive, baby, oh the city's cold and empty ♪ ♪ no one's around to judge me i can't see clearly when you're gone ♪ ♪ i said, oh i'm blinded by the lights no, i can't sleep until i feel your touch ♪ ♪ i said, oh i'm drowning in the night oh, when i'm like this you're the one i trust ♪ ♪ i'm just calling back to let you know i could never ♪ ♪ say it on the phone will never let you go this time, oh ♪ ♪ i said, oh i'm blinded by the lights no, i can't sleep until i feel your touch ♪ ♪ hey hey hey ♪ oh oh oh ♪ i said oh i'm blinded by the lights ♪ ♪ no i can't sleep until i feel your touch ♪ [ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline." >> tonight, landmark trial. the case against harvey weinstein. from the court of public opinion to the court of law. the former film mogul now before a judge and jury facing criminal charges of rape and sexual assault. inside the courtroom drama and his defense strategy. >> you're currently defending what many would regard as the most hated man in america. >> what does justice look like? >> are you going to trial, mr. weinstein? >> in the "me tohe ar preshar winning juggling campaigning and that impeachment trial. now taking on tough questions from undecided voters. >> do you believe in reparations? >> getting candid with the

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