PREMIUM
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AS exclusively trailed in last week’s bombshell column, I am back in the city. I am also in the matrix. On the five-and-a-half hour drive, I experienced ten different seasons – sun, snow, hail, rain and so forth – but, as I approached the outskirts of Edinburgh, a luscious wash of post-rain sunshine coated the suburbs and made them look magical.
I knew this would happen. I knew I was in the matrix. These things happen for a reason, which is basically that my life is being directed by beings from ooter space. Or maybe by a deity. Or maybe it’s just the cooncil.

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