your voucher back and it's so easy to get upset with that person on the other end of the phone. they're standing in your way, they're intractable, we have this knee-jerk reaction. we start to fly off thane handl. take a step back and observe what's going on in the context -- >> so let's picture myself at the counter at the airline, and i'm screwed 50 ways, pick your version, whatever it is. and i feel frustrated by the person at the counter and my inclination is to say, well, this person is being difficult -- >> start yelling and stomp off. the book actually starts with my story of getting ready to stomp off, and instead, try to play it more cold-blooded, figure out what's going on, figure what the policy is that i'm up against here, and through that conversation -- >> give me the example. >> we had this long chat finally, and i said, i can't believe this is really out of your hands, that the policy is out of your hands. you're not going to let the old lady in line behind me spend the
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