his will. i'm not a california psychiatrist or i would. let me -- >> sean: let me go to another one of these rants from the weekend. >> i'm burning my own face but i can't feel the [ bleep ] heat, because i don't feel pain because [ bleep ] pain is, pain is as painful as you want it to be to quote the late great, brilliant alien nonhuman george carlin. i've already got pain. i don't need pain pills. i need anti-pain pills. >> sean: anna you chronicled in your book. how bad did your life get? >> i would say not as bad as this. alcoholism addiction is a self-diagnosed disease. i wasn't laughing before. i can't diagnose him any more than dr. abloca. he sure does seem like an addict.