[cheering and [cheers and applause] for more than 30 years. [cheers and applause] the parents and sisters to help shape the woman that i have become he suggested i call my mother at 1 00 oclock in the morning a mother and a grandmother a friend and a teacher and a wife and a mother every role i have played has taught me so much i have learned and i am still were learning about the bonds that make up the family its what i know that love makes aam family hole brick what doesnt matter if you are blending a family with biological or hinonbiological children this is the story of how joe and i created our family we had no master plan and we did it all together we built our family when we had to to discover along the way of the 13th century persian poet put a plaster on the room keep looking at the bandage place. That is where the light enters you and know that you are healing yourself. [applause] good morning thank you for coming out this evening for this event. Wasnt that a wonderful video . Thank you for sharing that with all of us. I am one of the coowners of politics and prose we are here with our friends we love having events here it is such a magnificent setting and its such an honor to talk to jill biden tonight its called where the light enters we know joe biden as a very much admired as a Vice President of the United States she was second lady and was in that role for eight years and say there is a lot of people across thers country including those in this room at this very moment hoping that she returns to the whitehe house in a couple januarys from now. [cheers and applause] in a slightly different role. I expect one person in particular in this room who above all may have something to do with that we would also like to welcome the Vice President biden as well this evening. [cheers and applause] one of the most notable things about doctor biden tenure as secondr lady she fulfilled the hidden responsibilities but serious responsibilities while maintaining her professional career at the Community College she worked tirelessly often alongside Michelle Obama and the president and Vice President to advance the obama policy o agenda to protect and strengthen the democratic and civic values but a few times a week she will be the premises to cross the river to virginia where her students knew her as doctor be completely unaware of her parallel existence at 1600 pennsylvania that she could operate so brilliantly and gracefully into distinct worlds at the same time is a testament to the woman and human being that she is. As she recounts in her memoir it is not as a fairytale but through triumph and heartbreaking grief to find her true love and life partner a dashing senator from delaware and her unwavering devotion to family and country the title of the book where the light enters is a phrase etched in your mind as you follow through the pages of her life journey we want to hear about her and her life please join me to welcome doctor jill biden. Thank you very much. Thank you. Very emotional. Good evening and thank you for joining me for this very cispecialal evening mclaughlin said a successful marriage requires falling in love. Many times only with the same person. [laughter] in this book i write about the first time i fell in love with joe but there has been so many times watching his courage over the years father and friend husband son, senator and Vice President has inspired me again and again. Even today i see a different side of him talking to people to do what he loves most and i fall in love with him all over again. Thank you joe. [applause] im also join this evening by our daughter ashley and granddaughter and my niece as family and friends and my colleagues. I see them over there. [applause] in many friends you have kept me sane like my exercise class and the many people here who have made this moment possible and thank you to my beloved eateam the people that i have worked with over the past 11 years to support me. It is a little surreal to be here to talk about this book and usually im sitting where you are to hear many of the extraordinary authors politics and prose brings to washington so i thank you for your friendship and literary leadership or go thank you very muchh. [applause] this book was a little dreamlike to write. Growing up i never imagined i would write Something Like this to be vulnerable in front of such a large audience is not my nature but i never imagined i would add a United States senator one mary a United States senator or become second lady. A slightly young rebellious highschooler trying to get money for college at the jersey shore and wanted a marriage like my parents strong and loving and i wanted a career. As it turned out i got both it was meandering and that is what it was all about which is a strange and exciting and unexpected journey and a family that made it possible and made it all worth it. When joe and i got married he told me, jill, your life will never change. [laughter] now i dont want to spoil the book but he was wrong. Or [laughter] my life changed and changed and changed into still changing as we speak and that will be for most of you as well but face it change isnt always fun. It is hard sometimes. But sometimes that change makes us who we are. I would like to read two excerpts from my book and this is the first one. Its hard to know who died before you came along a lot of people wrestle with the fact that the love of their life love to someone else first and perhaps never stopped loving that person. Some people feell jealousy some feel inadequate and feel the questions of what might have been as a piece of mind president roosevelt is rumored to have said comparison is that the of joy i understand this complicated emotions but i have never felt threatened joe has always made sure he often jokes he loves me more than i love him. How can he measure that . [laughter] i dont know and i said i knew if he could love me that deeply and completely then maybe i could beloved that completely also in this could be the love i wasd looking for , the kind of love my parents had. Joe use to tell the boys mommy sent jill to us and he believed it so the boys did as well. How else could they make sense of the injustice to lose their mother and sister . The incredible love that could keep going and bring them a person who would love them as much as they needed. They clung to that space as they grew up it was a gift that joe gave them, a way to make sense of the world. I didnt want her memory to be hidden away paraguay didnt want the boys to think they had to choose between us or feel they had to put aside that part of themselves. And so we made space forma her. We didnt live in the home that they shared that she was there nonetheless. Her pictures are displayed around the house. She reappears in joe stories. I knew the boys carried a piece of her with them and i would catch a glimpse of what i do must be her laugh for the crinkle of her nose or the curve of her brow in their faces. I wanted joe to remind them over and over just how much she loved them because he would always fun she would always be there mother and there is no us without her so the day ofer the accident joe stayed home from work we made the world stop and they went in late to school we went to 7 00 a. M. Mass at parish after that joe and the boys would go to the cemetery while i went home to prepare fruit and coffee and bagels and yogurt for extended family. Joe told me amelia loved white roses so i would buy a grave blanket with three white roses with babys breath one for joe, hunter and bell. I put in the back of joes car so he did not have to think t about it when they got to the cemetery he and the boys could share their moment and memories together and for years i never joined them. That was their time with amelia. But the year after beau for the first time i went with joe paraguay held his hand as we stood there the chilly december morning and the words that i knew were spoken atre her eulogy death on her like an untimely frock i thought about the family we had made together, the three of us. I owe her so much loyalty, my gratitude for the gift of these beautiful boys, and yes, my love. If indeed she had sent me i hope she is grateful she did. Here is the second one and ashley i chose this for you because you are here tonight joe also lets you tell the story of what could have been back in the eighties when everybody wore a headband i had a whole rack of them in my bathroom every color of the rainbow flag, gingham, flag, gingham, and may sound strange now but it was very fashionable at the time. [laughter] to go in there and take them for herself without asking and as joe tells it, i wake up in the morning there is the two of them saying its my headband, no its my headband. [laughter] i cannot say i agree completely with that retelling but i admit i was frustrated by my constant disappearing hair accessory during ashleys teenage years i kept a pair of Running Shoes by the front door whenever she and i would get into an argument i put on the shoes and would go running to call myself down. We argued so much i became a marathon runner. [laughter] it wasnt the same with joe. He doted on her. In their personalities never clash to the way ours did perhaps it was that motherdaughter thing but the relationship with my mother was so different believe me i tell her when you have a child i hope she is a girl so she can put you through what you put me through. [laughter] all of this meant i had a new appreciation for my father this child was obviously his perfect revenge obstinate and strong will to come in after curfew she was stubborn and rebellious and never got into any serious trouble i try to do calm and coolheaded and always nurturing that my fathers style i resorted to most often one of tough love. While my relationship was different than the one with the boys it was that. Different. Not more or less. I see myself in beau and hunter one with hunter and beau. Beau had my sense of humor completely whenever he starte started, mom mom mom i knew something funny was about to come out of his mouth and the only one to pick on joe he would love i would say things to his dad nobody else dared. [laughter] but not just personalities with his blonde hair and blue eyes people always remarked how we looked alike. You take after your mom strangers would tell t us and we would smile and share a secret look never correcting them. I had a scholar and a writer loving books and poetry just like his english professor mother i call him with a heartbreaking novel or a recommendation with a book to read with insight and wisdom to make me see things through a different prism and now i also feel the most protective of him because i know he shares my guarded emotional side or not the politicians of the family but we know how to put our strength to work he came with me after Hurricane Katrina so like me you cant see suffering when you see someone hurting their always find a way to help i am a part of all my kids and they are a part ofy me. I love them each in different ways and often unevenly. My love is constantly moving and changing to where it is needed and back again even though it is uneven that is my hope and i have reason to believe that it works to alleviate my fears do you know mom i never doubted you loved us the same as ashley when i asked him why he said because you yell that her just like you yelled at us. [laughter] again thank you for being here together it means a lot to me so now it is my pleasure to introduce the author of awardwinning cookbooks from the family table and her sisters there with her as well. They are right there. [applause] the latest book was written with her family revolutionizing the way we eat and cook and live in while im not sure i will be spending too much time in the kitchen in the coming months, i look forward to making your nachos joe you will love them they are filled with kale and avocado. [laughter] tracy, thank you for sharing this evening with me for a worklife balance, motherhood and living through illness i know we will have a lot to talk about. [applause] hello. First of all what i want to say first is i absolutely loved this book. I decided i would read it over a little bit of time and picked it up and i read the entire thing in one sitting. I loved it. Thank you. I found myself relating to you in so many ways and i would think oh my goodness that is me. Shes writing about me. And then i realized is that so many women relate to you and your story and it wasnt just me but you were telling all of our stories. So i am just curious, what do you hope that people take away from this book quick. For everybody who was here and what they take away that when i was growing up it is the Nuclear Family the mom and the dad and the kids but families are so different single moms, single dads, gay couple couples, interracial marriage, there is so many different types of families now that people get to define themselves. The one common denominator and that i hear from my students as well the common denominator is love. So what you say about your own families you would say the one thing that you all possess is love through your children , your spouse and your partners. Thats beautiful. [applause] the other thing that approached me is you havehi lived so much of your life in the public eye we think we know so much about you but eactually you are also a very private person. And this is a funny dichotomy. I personally can relate to that and also i have been in the public eye for most of my life when i picture myself writing a book, it is daunting. And i was just curious if it was a difficult choice for you to share those details of your life. It is interesting, when i thought about writing a book with the administration i had such an incredible experience with traveling all over the world and all over the country meeting so many people like being in the congo to living in guatemala those women that were making bracelets and giving money so their families could survive. Went to the publisher and said i want to write about all the people i have met and they said no we want you to write a bookte that is unique to you that only you can tell. So i started to think about it. Started to write down a couple of stories im a pencil and paper person i have to write it. So i went back and said here are some of the stories about my life and they love the stories especially the bikini story. In[laughter] for those of you who will read it is about politics and keeping joe in line. Oe [laughter] should i explain it . I think hes nervous. [laughter] during one of the Campaign Years people wanted joe to run for president and i was against it. And i told him i was against it before the advisors came to our house and i knew where they were coming they wanted to try to talk him into it. I was at the pool on the lower level and i could hear them upstairs saying you have got to do this and i was so angry so i walk into the house the first thing is i was a magic marker so i had a twopiece bathing suit on and i wrote no on my stomach. [laughter] and i walked through the meetin meeting. [laughter] [cheers and applause] he told me they got the message. [laughter] we saw this in the video which is beautiful at the beginning of the book you quote the power of the child and the title of your book is taken from the poem but there is one line i am very curious about dont turn your head keep looking at the bandaged place so that seems very significant to you and what does that mean to you . The bandaged place is when you are vulnerable or hurting or experience loss like we have in our family, and what that means is you are looking at the wound and at the scar so dont believe for a moment you areat healing yourself and thats where i found that i never could have madegh it through without friends and family, many of you in this room who supported me throughout and supported joe with your notes and cards in love and caring and really you know that i teach at a Community College and i feel the same way about my school and the Community College it is a larger community. Also just helping one another get through the tough times whether english class or law or whatever you are going through. It is that sense of community that we lean on one another thats what helps us to get through. You also talk about your close relationship with your parents and your sisters growing up and you referd to clthis as a circle of loyalty which i thought was beautiful then later you write about joe andbe the boys and you say when all the others turn their backs and walk away you can count on me to stay. That was their bond of shared memories of absolute trust them against the world and they were asking me to join that sacred circle. So it seems like with joe and the boys you found like something that was very close to the relationship that you had with your parents and your sisters and that is a theme that seems to run through your life. I am just curious when creating these relationships in your life how does that inform you once you got to washington . Didnt help to navigate . Sure. Family is very close when i met joe and beau and hunter had a very close circle. I felt that love as they opened up that circle and allowed me to come in. And i think our family we have always done everything together when you are in public life you need that loyalty and love and caring. So Going Forward in our next journey we will once again lean on one another and support one another and loyalty is any important trait and i had that growing up with my own sisters and they tell the story in the book that i am the oldest of the five girls. So my younger sister came home and said to me and was crying. Jill she always keeps throwing sand on me at the bus stop and was crying aboutop it. So i went up the hill and went up to his house and i knocked on the door he opened the door and i pulled back and i punched him right in the face. [laughter] and i said dont you ever throw worms on my sister again. Then i was so scared i ran all the way home. I [laughter] my father was home and i said daddy i just punched drew in the nose. He said good for you. So it was that kind of loyalty that i grew up with. We took care of one another. Im sure thats true of you and your siblings. Very very true. [laughter] the other thing you talk about a lot is your parents for one another you write beautifully that their love and loyalty and their devotion to each other give me a love like theres. That was your deal with the universe. So i am curious how did you find what you are looking for with your relationship with joe . There was a lot of similarities. We grew up in middleclass. Joes mom stayed home and my mom stayed home. A very leave it to beaver type of family. A. Thats what we grew up with and so the values i always felt secure, loved unconditionally. My parents gave that to me, that gift. So i sort of reached back to what i knew and what i had growing up as a young girl knowing how secure my appearance made me feel. When we got married i have been teaching. I wanted to establish myself as their mom into one of the things i did, i was going to volunteer in their school and they were so proud. They always felt secure and loved and came along and they never doubted it was just a loving family at the un chapel that was so funny we went to get a marriage license and we knew nobody recognized joe. [laughter] they wanted me to have it and it was just ever so thoughtful and loving and store the you talk about finding your voice. You start off by talking about how you are an introvert nationallnaturally and public sg doesnt come naturally which is hard for me to believe. [laughter] im curious if you can tell us all a little bit because you have obvious that overcome those obstacles and it is such a difficult thing to get up in front of an audience. When we wer were were in elea Vice President , i thought you know what, ive been given such a platform and i can talk about all my passion and things i love for educatiolove, education ande Community Colleges, military families. I thought i cannot waste this platform. Im going to get better at this. So i made myself because i was used to speaking to 25 students in a classroom, but then as Vice President , he was speaking to hundreds and sometimes thousands of people when i stood up so i knew i had to push myself. And i dont know, i tried to take that lesson to my students as well to say take risks, push yourself, try to be better. Thats the one message i tried to give them, to give them confidence because i think it doesnt matter whether they learn the statement or knowhow tknow howto do a research paperh the dean is here so yes, that does matter. [laughter] i think if i can give them confidence, thats what its all about. Joe was so instrumental in his sister was a mentor to me because she had been through many campaigns, so that was really wonderful to me. You talk about that in the book. Another thing that youve spoken a lot and you are open in public about, a lot of the tragedy that youve had in your life, the accident that preceded your relationship with joe, beaus illness and then death and to talk about the fire that destroyed your family home. Youve shown so much resilience and i wonder if you have any advice about how to help someone going through similar tough times and where you find the strength and resilience. I think after beau died, joe and i had a purpose in our lives and we said you know, what would beau want us to do. I think probably if i asked the audience how many of you have lost someone you love to cancer or maybe you are going through a diagnosis right now your self, everyone has been touched by it and show and i realized it. Barack and michelle were so kind to us to bring all of the federal agencies together to break down the silo and have been working to change cancer as we know it and once we got out of the white house, we formed fd providing cancer and initiative. And i travel all over the country as does joe and we try to help families and joe needs with a love of the doctors and tries to work with agencies and foundations. My job is to work with families and patients into victims of cancer and the survivors. And i think you have to find purpose in your life. And thats what we have really tried hard to do. So no matter where this new journey takes me and take joe, we will always, no matter what, still work on defeating cancer. [applause] you also talk about his optimism and that is something that has helped you through. I ask that because they also i a famously optimistic husband. For the rest of the members of my family, but i believe so strongly he was going to live. They said only 1 will live and i felt like he was so special, he was going to be that 1 . I felt it in my heart and then when he died, and i prayed so hard that he would live the. I sort of backed away from my face because i couldnt get over it. But we were in South Carolina about two weeks ago and i was joking with joe in my church, im protestant antichoice catholic but you go to church and sit there so quietly with your hands at your side, everything is quiet. But we went to a black church and there was so much joy and singing and it was just like so welcoming. The woman next to me i didnt know her but she put her hand on my hand and said i want to be your prayer partner and it took my breath away. Its been four years it is time for you to come back to so shes actually called me im trying to work my way back to religion and prayer because the one thing i learned ive met so many people suffer from cancer who have prayed for me and joe and our family and i feel now i overcame my prayers not only that you get from yourself and for your spouse but from everybody are bound to give it. The people you dont even know are wishing the best for you and hopefully everybody has Something Like that in their lives. It does help you get through the tough times. To get your degree to become a doctor is something that is so important to you and then later made history at becoming the only second lady to hold a job outside of the white house. I my favorite image in the book is picturing the secret Service Agents dressed as students. [laughter] my last question will you make history again and become the first lady to work outside of the white house . [cheering] we are not taking anything for granted, but i would love to still keep teaching if my job is open. I dont know. [laughter] what was the moment when you doubted your self and how did you push through it . I guess that moment when he was chosen to be Vice President. I just teaching and it was in august a of my School Semester started a. Of course i was so excited that i couldnt smile. One phone call and our lives are completely changed. So i did doubt whether i could be on a national stage. He pushes me and says you can do this. Hes been amazing. So thank you. [applause] somebody wants to know what is your favorite white house memory . Another story. Get used to it. We had so many, so many incredible memories. Something new and exciting and different people or places. But i have to tell you at the end of our administration, he called me and said i want to give joe the medal of freedom and i dont want anybody to know about it. I remember waking up this morning i was going to teach. I was so excited and i thought this is going to be one of the best days of your life. So i went and i talked that day and changed in the bathroom like i usually do. He was called upon the stage and gave him the medal of freedom. Just to the happiness i felt at that moment was incredible. What is your advice for stepmo stepmoms . I didnt i have neilia but she was deceased so i never felt like i was competing but the advice i have two kids is just one of those kids, shower them with love. Love makes a family so you can make that family for your loved. The privacy factor when i go to the supermarket people look in my cart. I send my sister to pick up the personal items. [laughter] someone wants to know if you were to be first lady, wha whatf shwhatissues would be closest tr heart . Education, education. [applause] what have you learned about america from working at a Community College . I travel all over this country fighting for free Community College. Community colleges are just such special places they are incredible teachers. It is a nurturing environment we have so many wraparound services. Its less expensive for kids i try to call them now you can go to Community College for two years and then slide right into a four year college as a junior and save so much money and get such an incredible education. The students i have to tell you they are amazing and they are working sometimes on or two more jobs. They come into my class at 8 00 in the morning and they are just ready to go. I have a story that i love to tell because some people find it hard to believe. When i went to teach at nova it was the end of the first semester and not everybody do in fact very few of my students knew because they never discussed politics, im always in english teacher and i was doing great conferences in may and a young woman comes in and says i saw you on tv last night with Michelle Obama. I said mom come here thats my english teacher. And she said thats not your english teacher that is the second lady of the United States. [laughter] and it still remains that way to this day but i love that they accept me as, well she didnt know. What you just said is the question so many of us want to know what is your relationship like with michelle . It started out we didnt know each other terribly well but like any relationship it starts out you get to know each other more and more and then eventually it became a relationship of true love and respect. I know joe talked to barack. They do have that bromance they talk about. And i talked to michelle about two weeks ago. The girls played on the same sports teams. So i think Going Forward what we need is for people to come together, work united. Pa government that people on both sides of the aisle just working together. That is what we are going to try to do. The one thing that came up that i found interesting was food you talked about your family meals when you were growing up and that is something that youve done all throughout your married life so i want to know what is your perfect venue for your family neil . He once everything with red sauce. Always ice cream you know that about him. Its like you said. I prefer vegetables so i try to get them in as much as i can. I have to ask all the people in my family whether they believe one of the vegetarian meals. What do you think . [cheering] [cheering]
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