Show, exercise is damaging your brain. Ronny chieng tells you why you shouldnt donate to charity, and donald trump is getting impeached. cheers and applause wow, you guys love ronny chieng. laughter lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets start with good news and some bad news. The bad news is Global Temperatures are continuing to rise, thanks to Climate Change and hot girl summer. laughter but the good news is elon musk has a backup plan. Elon musk says his vision of sending humans to the moon and mars could soon become a reality. The spacex c. E. O. Showed off the latest version of his towering stainless steel starship rocket saturday in texas. He called the vehicle the critical breakthrough that will make space travel like air travel. There are many problems in the world and we need to solve them, but we also need things that make us excited to be alive, that make us glad to make up in the morning and be fired up about the future, and this is, i think, the most inspiring thing that ive ever seen. laughter trevor okay. I love elon musk, but what the hell is this thing . No, maybe im spoiled because im used to his inventions looking cool and futuristic but if im going into space im not going in a giant dildo mirror. laughter i dont know what that thing is. Even elon musk thinks this is weird because he held a press conference in the middle of the night. Imagine if your friend was, like, so im dating this guy and hes really cool. Can we meet him . Yeah, but only in a corn field at midnight. laughter if youre trying to sell us on space travel, stop saying you will make it the new air travel. Everyone hates air travel because now you just think its going to be in space. So instead of getting excited about space, thinking about my flight will get canceled and im stuck on mars. Having to deal with t. S. A. , get ready for probing. laughter last thing i would like to do is sit next to a crying baby for 16 years. Theyre crying and by the time we land its a crying man. Waaaa, waaa, waa laughter the next story, if elon musk is look for someone crazy enough to fly his rocket, i know the right person. We torn to a School Bus Driver allegedly drunk on the job in washington state. The frightening video from inside the bus and you can hear the children screaming in here. screaming police say the driver 48yearold Catherine Maccarone was under the influence while behind the wheel this month. Youre crazy im totally crazy the boy calling 911 to tell them his driver sped through three red lights. Maccarone later arrested. Trevor seeing this bus driver removed brings up parents Worst Nightmare having to take your own kids to school. Theres probably one dad out there whos, like, shes drinking . They better fire away how much was she drinking . Because, i mean laughter and these kids will probably never drink and drive after this experience because trauma is way more powerful main 30 second p. S. A. That you can give kids. They will be, like, drunk driving. Like, that lady, i dont want to drink and drive. If smokey wanted to prevent forest fires, just light a few third graders on fire. If a bear lit your friend on fireworks that shit stays with you forever. laughter the bus driver is in trouble. I think this is a double standard. The woman drives a bus drunk and gets awested, denzel flys a plane crunching and gets an oscar nomination. A double standard. laughter for those of you who live at the gym, may want to find a new home. Exercise isnt what its cracked up to be. A study finds too much exercise might be bad for the brain. Research find athletes who overtrain made more impulsive choices when it came to finance, eating habits and selfcare. Thats because they displayed fatigue in the cognitive control part of the brain, likely to cause trouble decision making. Trevor people who dont work out, these studies come out, thats why i dont work out. You werent working out before the study. What about the the twinkies, is that from a study . laughter essentially your brain only has so much energy for decisionmaking. Explains why we make good decisions in the morning and terrible decisions at night. Weve all offed heard of a one night stand. Never heard of a one morning stand because were thinking straight. We never hear, i woke up from my nap and stranger was lying next to me the decisions get worse as the day goes on. Im going to eat alsecond tub of ice cream to is second tub doesnt feel lonely. Aaahhh lets move on to the headlines. The top story, a week ago the white house was rocked after a whistleblower accused the president of using his office to dig up dirt on joe biden. Democratic frontrunner and teeth whitening spokesman. Then the nation was rocked when nancy pelosi, speaker of the house and a woman who always looks like she walked in on your mastemarts baiting, the fantastc absolutely tremendous road to impeachment. No other president should ever have to go through probably president ial harassment. cheers and applause Trevor Donald trump is in hot water right now for apparently using his office for his own political gain, and while were still trying to digest the details of his call with the leader of ukraine, were finding out he may have done it more than once. Nbc news confirmed what the New York Times recor reported President Trump asked another foreign leader, this time the Prime Minister of australia, to help investigate his conspiracy theories around the origins of the now complete mueller investigation. From that New York Times story, President Trump pushed the australian Prime Minister during a recent telephone call to help Ag William Barr to garth information for a Justice Department inquiry that mr. Trump hopes will discredit the mueller investigation. Trevor yes, now record that after the Mueller Report was released, donald trump asked australias Prime Minister to help him get information that would discredit Robert Muellers report. This could be bad for two reasons one, it would mean the trump has been using the presidency for his personal vendetta machine and, two, using World Leaders as personal errand boys. Running around, ukraine, i need you to investigate joe biden and son. Spain, i need you to find the pies with the fruit in middle, emp nadas, i want those ones. laughter what started as a scandal about a call to ukraine is snowballing bigly. I dont know for certain how trump is dealing with this shit but judging by the 87 tweets he released over the weekend, doesnt seem like hes taking it well. I get it. Not only are democrats trying to impeach his ass but polls are showing every day more and more americans are in favor of proceedings to impeach his ass. Luckily for trump a group of supporters wont leave him, republican lawmakers. The president didnt do anything wrong. Weve seen the transcript, Tropical Storm nothing there. Im glad President Trump continues to look into the interference so it doesnt happen again. When i read the transcript, i see two leaders having admiration not intimidation. What do you make of this exchange . President zelensky says we are almost ready to buy more javelins from the United States for defense purposes, and President Trump replies, i would like you to do us a favor, though. You just added another word. No. I would like you to do a favor, though . Yes, its in the transcript. Trevor that is the face of someone who knows he done ~bleep up. laughter because i love how he pounced on the journalist because he thought he had a moment, he thought he was going to common rate trump. Hes like, though guys, he said, though. Oh, okay. He goes, if my client is guilty, how do you explain this knife . Thats the murder weapon we were looking for aaahhh what knife . laughter no surprise most republican lawmakers are standing is President Trump, but what is surprising is theyre arguing not only did trump not do anything wrong, but the real bad guy is the one who reported the crime in the first place. Who is this whistleblower . Why did they pick this whistleblower to tell a story. I know the difference between a whistleblower and a deep state operative. This is a deep state operative pure and simple. Rotten snitch, ide love to whap him. I want to know about him, what kind of dogs they have, what kind of marriages they have, if they have a d. U. I. , what dog they have,. Trevor i want to know his a. O. L. Password, i want to know if his hair stands up if you whisper hello handsome into his ear, i want to know it all laughter trump supportser are desperately trying to figure out who the whistleblower is. That person is in a precarious situation which is why lawmakers and journalists are saying its important to protect this persons identity at all costs. No one wants the identity coming out. For more and whats being done to protect the whistleblower, we go to seen your White House Correspondent roy wood, jr. , everybody cheers and applause hey, Trevor Trevor the whistleblower is under intense scrutiny and theres concern that their identity may be leaked by the press. What is being done to protect them . Thats exactly right, trevor, certain details about this persons identity have already been reported by the New York Times, but i spoke with them this morning, and theres trevor wait, wait, wait, him . So youre confirming that its a man . Trevor, gender is a spectrum, okay. laughter we dont know how he identifies. Trevor well, you just said he again. All right, damn it, its a man, all right . You got me. Its my bad, i gave you that one. But i can tell you this about the man, trevor, hes scared, i could sense it. I looked deep into the blue eyes of this 64 brownhaired gentleman and hes terrified, terrified that some careless journalist would reveal his identity, or her identity. Trevor you already told us his. But what else did you guys talk about . Uh, well, we talked about the ukraine call, of course, and we talked about th the fallout from the complaint. You will like this, baseball plays are starting. He thinks the brewers will make a run. Hes a big brewers fan since he grew up outside milwaukee. Trevor roy what . I just said milwaukee, i didnt say which state. Trevor roy, you need to be more careful, you could be putting him and his family at risk no, dont worry about his family. I spoke to his wife marsha, shes straight. laughter marshas fine. She has her hands full. Its bird migration season and shes one of the worlds leading researchers of the yellowbilled can you cakuckatoo. Trevor youre narrowing it so much. Please try to be less specific. Oh, and ignore her accomplishments, trevor . Shes just as much a hero to their son kevin, jr. As her husband. laughter who, as we know, needs to remain anonymous. Trevor kevin, jr. s father kevin, sr. Is count counting on you to keep his identity a secret trevor youre going to blow his cover do you have any idea what its like to be held up in a holiday inn on the outskirts of virginia . 730427 i got to warn kevin. Kevin its roy get marsha and your kids kevin blew your cover trevor you said the number you said the number, roy cheers and applause to Severe Plaque Psoriasis get clearer. And tremfya® was proven superior to humira® in providing significantly clearer skin. Dont use if youre allergic to tremfya®. Tremfya® may lower your ability to fight infections and may increase your risk of infections. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tb. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms or if you had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Tremfya®. Get clearer. Janssen can help you explore cost support options. Janssen can help you explore i dont care where youre from, were all just people. We want people to feel like they spent time with family. We want to create a place for more than just ourselves. We create the things that we want to exist in the world. My doors are always open. I can guarantee that you are underestimating me. And im really over people doing that. I am going to write thousands of poems right here in this room, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. Some new stories help us understand the world we live in, and some new stories are just stupid. For those, we turn to ronny chieng. cheers and applause thanks, trevor. At this point, i think we can all agree that the internet is basically giving us all brain damage, okay . Social media is constantly bombarding us with information we dont care about, like what my friend ate for breakfast or what my mom is watching on tv or when my wife had our baby, ugh p t point is social media is destroying everything. Look at this guy who went viral for the dumbest thing possible. Carson king thought he would get a few lives and maybe a few bucks on College Game Day with this sign asking for beer money and his actual number for a venmo account. The money poured in. King raised more than a million bucks all told. This guy got a Million Dollars for beer are you kid meg . All he did was hold up a sign. This guy does it on tv and hes a rearo. But when i held up a sign demanding money, all of a sudden im a bank robber and i took hostages, which is like a federal offense. And the fact this even worked was stupid, trevor, but not as stupid as what he did with the money. He decided hed donate all of it minus the cost of one case of beer to the university of iowa childrens hospital, it overlooks the hawkeyes possible field where home games fans turn and wave to the kids. During the news venmo and busch beer vowed to match the funds. Wow, he gave all the money to the childrens hospital. What an incredible insult to all the hard working americans who thought it was for beer. laughter yo, at least he bought, like, one case of beer, okay . Although now theres just going to be some kid whos 12 short of a new kidney. laughter sorry, timmy, we ran out of money, but we did put this empty can of bud lite in you. Lets see what happens. laughter if you think this story didnt getter, no good deed goes unpunished. The Des Moines Register profiled king and dug up a couple of racist tweets when king was 16 on to b. Tosh. 0 l0. Ifsz really upset with my s. The guy who raised over 6 d racist jokes ten years ago. Is he good or bad . At least theres a clear lesson, never donate money you get for beer to a childrens hospital. Because you only get famous if you donate the money. If you keep the money, no one cares, youre rich. If you think this story doesnt get stupider, youre as wrong as the feelings itch for my great grandmother, because after a reporter exposed the guys old tweets, the reporter himself got his own 15 minutes of shame. The Internet Users angry about the paper digging up old tweets did digging of their own, this time on reporter aaron calvin, andlow and behold they uncovered derogatory tweets and africanamericans, gay people and women. The Des Moines Register then fired calvin saying we took appropriate action because theres nothing more important than having readers trust. applause trevor thats right, the report who are found the racist tweets had even worse racist tweets. A classic case of the pot calling the kettle the n word. Which is why i always say dont point fingers on the internet because the internet will finger you right back. So there you have it. The guy who raised the money is canceled, the reporter is canceled, i think the beer got canceled and everything continues to be stupid. Yes, but i think its still a happy ending because at least the sick kids are going to get that money. Actually, trevor, i dug out some of these kids tweets and trevor ronny chieng, everybody well be right back please cheers and applause halloween is awesome. [trick or treat] yes, yes, yes, yes. [screaming in fear] yay. [laughter] yes thank you. This. Watch. Tells. Time and takes phone calls. And communicates with satellites thousands of miles above the earth and tracks your distance underwater and tracks your activity and tells you which direction youre going and has an app that measures the electrical waves traveling through your heart otherwise known as an electrocardiogram. So just to reiterate this. Watch. Tells. Time among other things . Hey your science project. Thanks, dad. Toyota. Lets go places. Cmom and say it now. Just let the words come out. Give me your love. No calories. No sweeteners. All smiles™. Bubly sparkling water. Crack a smile™. Snow leopards are almost impossible to find, with ai we can protect what we cant see. But we need to know where they are, because they are threatened. Our camera traps allow us to have and eye in the mountains, taking thousands of pictures. Microsoft ai scans through all these images, and separates Snow Leopards from everything else, in ten minutes instead of ten days. It gives us time to do better research, and save this threatened species. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is a candidate for the republican nomination for president in 2020. Please welcome former South Carolina congressman and governor mark sanford. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show. Treat to be here. Trevor you are doing what many experts believe is the impossible. You are running against donald trump for the republican nomination. Why would you embark on a Suicide Mission . laughter because its a really important one and, whether im successful or not, i think we have to have a conversation about where were going as republicans and a country. Trevor so lets start with that conversation. cheers and applause yeah. Trevor and lets ask the questions, where do you think republicans have lost their way . In your opinion, what do you think the Republican Party has lost under donald trump . A number of things. It used to be likely hall m of the Republican Party, if you stop and think about this notion of financial stewardship, whether you agree or disagree, at least republicans were recognized for trying on that front. If you look at debt and deficits and government spending, theyve spun indeed out of control under this president s watch. Hes called himself the din kinf the debt and were headed for trouble on that front. Were missing it on looking inward versus outward. What distinguished our civil regulation from the time of world war ii or i has been an outward look at profited this nation mildly on different levels, i think were missing it with regard to institutions. If you stop and think about it, institutions are the framework that hold the balance of power that our Founding Fathers put in place, and what the president s doing when he says Jerome Powell is chairman to have Federal Reserve is the enemy of the state, what youre really doing is degrading the institutional framework that holds our balance of power in place and, finally, the president is missing it on tone. You can say the right thing in the wrong way and no one is listening. In the Congressional District i used to represent, lirltly working moms, soccer moms, millennials turned away in drove so much so that that district which has been republican the last 50 years went democrat all largely based on tones. So those would be for keys to where im coming from. Trevor thats interesting, bringing up tone and the way you say things. Could it be construed that what youre saying is that what donald trump is not necessarily the worst but the manner he does it in is particularly bad . So would you be selling to people basically a pg version of trumps ideas . laughter no, i dont want to leave you misinterpreted because, when you say tone is major thing, do you think those voters went we like the policies but not the way he speaks . Yeah, a lot of conservatives like what hes getting at when it comes to conservative judiciary or tax cuts or deregular, they like those things on agenda, but also theyre saying were not putting up the tweets, were sick of it. Theres something wrong with a person standing in a bathrobe at 3 00 a. M. Tweeting out messages. Youre with me . Trevor youre assuming hes wearing a bathrobe. laughter applause fair enough. Fair enough. Trevor but i understand what youre saying. Its not leadership and its not its not engaging the way that leaders have to engage with folks that braibt change, whether thats at the elected level or whether thats at the voter level. Trevor what are you offering republican voters, then . Why would they leave trump to vote for you . Im offering them truth, which is the economic when he talks about a great economy, its an economy faked based on credit card build out. We have to have conversation on that front. What im offering is simply saying this is the truth, and we can pretend theres a great economy because were propping it up, we can pretend these jobs will be there, but theyre not if you look at the math behind where were headed as a nation and were headed there quickly. Trevor final question, as a republican who says youre not drinking the koolaid, lets talk about the news thats happening now. You have donald trump facing impeachment, you have donald trump, his white house releasing transcripts of calls between him and ukraine, you have news breaking today about australia and its elite and him using barr and mike pompeo on the phone. What do you make of this . First, most importantly, do you think what he did was appropriate with regard to ukraine . No. Trevor do you think it was an Impeachable Offense . I dont want to prejudge the process. It would seem to me the logical answer is yes. Im not on the committee of jurisdiction. I want them to go through their process, but it would seem to me at first glance it would be. As president of the United States why say we want to get an attorney general involved with a foreign power to wipe out a domestic foe, that crosses is line. Trevor i guess youre not drinking the koolaid. Thanks for being on the show. Good luck with the race. Mark sanford, everybody. Well be right back cheers and applause does your battery deliver extra life or extra power . Extra life. Extra power. Extra life. Extra power. Good news, vs. Coppertop, new duracell optimum delivers extra life in some devices. Or extra power in others. Introducing kfcs newest 5 fill its Finger Lickin. Owl. Ooooh cheese. Ooooh chicken. Cheese chicken 5 . chiken cheeeeeeeeeese look at all those 5 fill ups. Kfc. Its Finger Lickin good. Awwww yeah. Thats the stuff. No really. Those are the actual ingredients. Funky rock track tostitos. [crunch] get to the good stuff. Well, if youre celebratingt by eating reeses. Ween . Then no, youre actually late. Not sorry, reeses. Trevor thats our show. Thanks for tuning in. Lights out with david spade is coming up next. But first, here it is. Your moment of zen. The password is server. What brought things different changed the component was that the conversation the president had was stored in a super secret separate computer, and that the where they put the putin conversation, which was a couple of days later, and the Saudi Arabian leader as well and democrats now want to look at those conversations because it was all placed in that place, in that super secret gizmo computer. The repositories buzzer cheers and applause . Spade experts say that after snitching tack ashi of 9 could end up hiding out in amish country. As what, a scarecrow . No, im really asking. And now david spade spade yeah cheers and applause . Spade all right,
comparemela.com © 2020. All Rights Reserved.