No whitish, yeah, thats right because allish lives matter. Im on it, people. laughter more sports news out of the naval. Cam newton facing criticism for what some are calling sexist comments he made to a female reporter. I know you take a lot of pride in seeing your receivers play well. You seem to embrace the physical of his routes and getting the extra yards. Does that give you enjoyment to see him tracking people out there . Its funny to hear a female talk about routes its funny. Trevor its funny, right . Because women, they dont know the the things about the laughter look, Harvey Weinstein laughter you could see in cams face, he was, like, man, i guess im going to be kneeling on sunday. Ive got to take a knee, right . Not just during the anthem. Im going to kneel during the whole game, two niece. laughter at this point with so many scandals, the n. F. L. Is probably like can we get back to concussions . These players are getting hurt if i was cam, i would use that. If i was any n. F. L. Player, i would know i have one c. T. E. Card i can play. Ladies are funny if they no, c. T. , one time. C. T. E. , a big problem. Raff laugh on the bright side, if this is the worst thing an n. F. L. Player did to a woman this week were making progress. Weird but true. Lets move on. Theres big news for all the areas hit hard by the hurricanes. Just two days after visiting puerto rico to see the damage firsthand, President Trump has asked congress for 29 billion in Disaster Relief which is great news for everyone especially puerto rico. Honestly, its another example of how unpredictable donald trump can be because you wouldnt think he would go ask for money to help puerto rico, this is the same guy that basically tweeted puerto rico deserved to be hit by a hurricane and complained the victims were an inconvenience to his budget and dont forget he was caught looting. laughter dont forget that. He didnt help puerto rico at all with that. But i have to give my man credit for doing the right thing. Do you know what i think this is with trump . I think trump had so much fun visiting puerto rico he wants to do it again. Thats what it is. Hes going back to prek to and tell them, good news, guys, i got you 29 billion puerto ricos dwoict be, like, yay 29 billion in paper towels whoo yeah whoo applause paper towels, paper towels, all about them paper towels laughter like, i dont know about you guys but i cant still fully process everything that happened in this moment. I watch it and i try to understand how i truly feel about it because its despicable and entertaining at the same time. No, but think about this, a president went to day sister zone to comfort hurricane victims, give them a shoulder to cry on and then somehow it turned into an opportunity for him to practice his jump shot. Hes realty focused. Look at his eyes. His staff is, like, sir, what about the Puerto Ricans . You gotta learn how to zone them out, my friend and focus on what matters. Melania is on the side cheering him on be aggressive, be aggressive laughter but lets move on. Ill stop talking about sad things because this has been a particularly rough week. I thought we would end uh it off with something lighter so lets talk about abortion. No, sorry, i said that wrong. This is not about abortion. This is a story that involves abortion. Actually, just trust me on this whether prolife or prochoice, everyone is going to be pro this story because its hilarious. I would like for you to meet tim murphy. Hes a republican congressman from pennsylvania, and number 4 on the barbers chart of haircuts, right . Tim murphy spent his whole career fighting abortion, part of the prolife caucus and just this week cosponsored a bill to ban all abortion after 20 weeks which is why this story is so insane. A vocal prolife congressman from pennsylvania is now right in the middle of a scandal. His former mistress claims republican tim murphy urged her to get an abortion. Trevor oh, bleep and the same week the same week he puts up an abortion ban this dudes timing could not be worse. Hes like, lets ban all abortions yay shes, like, im pregnant. Weve got to get you to canada because these crazy guys just banned abortion, right now laughter her pregnancy was just a scare, which makes it funnier. The guy didnt even wait a day to confirm it before he abandoned his entire belief system . Tim murphy would make the worlds worst spy. He would be undercover. Some dude would be, like, are you tim murphy . You got me i have been leaking secrets to other governments you caught me, wheres the pill . Im just delivering your pizza, man. Yeah, oh, oh thank you thank you cheers and applause whether you are prochoice or prolife, i think we can all come together to laugh at this man. laughter because when you see how hard core he claimed to be against abortion, his entire career but it always has distressed me when sometimes these arguments come out about prolife or prochoice or abortion, that somehow because a person is only a man, he doesnt get to have input on that. There is no more humbling but prouder thing to do than to save a childs life. It is not just some amorphous cells there floating about, but these are real beings. Real beings. Trevor and hes a real asshole. Realasshole. cheers and applause if youre wondering how on earth could someone say those things about abortion in public and then, in private, urge his side chick to have an abortion . Well, buckle up because his excuse is going to take you for a ride. According to the pittsburgh postgazette, in january, murphys alleged mistress Shannon Edwards texted him saying you have zero issue posting your prolife stance all over the place when you had no issue asking me to abort our unborn child just last week. Murphy reportedly responded, i get what you say about my march for life messages, ive never written them. Staff does them. audience reacts trevor wow wow this guys my favorite it was his staff the whole time . Like, for years he just read whatever they put in front of him . Really . Abortion is murder. That seems harsh, guys, okay, but im reading it. Whatever, whatever. What a unique excuse for a leader to use. I dont believe it, my staff just wrote it. What if the leader of i. S. I. S. Tried the same thing. We will chop off the heads of all the infidels wow, all you guys are rough this is crazy. Whatever, im just reading the prompter, im doing my thing. Whatever. laughter today congressman murphy made a big announcement. Breaking news in politics, embattled congressman tim murphy of pennsylvania were told will resign his seat effective october 21. audience reacts trevor such a pity tim murphy terminated his career before it came to term. Such a pity. cheers and applause so, this is not a joke, people. This is real sad. Real sad. Well be right back. cheers and applause cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. Every successful president ial campaign is defined by a key piece of rhetoric, a phrase that leaps into the minds of americans whenever you see your face. Yes, we can. Its the economy, stupid. Its morning in america and, of course, grab him by the pussy. laughter actually, america is about to hit a Major Political milestone because tomorrow marks the oneyear anniversary of that historic moment which grabbed the nations attention and so much more. Breaking news. This coming in just in the last few seconds, nbc news has just become aware of a video capturing donald trump making vulgar comments about women back in 2005. Im automatically attracted to beautiful women. I just start kissing them. Its like a magnet. And when youre a star, they let you do it, you can do anything. Whatever you want. Grab em by the pussy. Trevor turns out, hes right, he really could do anything. To commemorate this anniversary we look back on the access hollywood tape, the pussy grabbing, of course, but also moments you may have forgotten in the segment we call Throwback Thursday pussygate edition. applause oh my god. And when youre a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Whatever you want. Grab em by the pols. Ooh, trump is nasty i remember texting my muslim family being, like, were good. Its over. Also, grab em by the pussy . Its not a bowling ball. I moved on her like a bitch. I couldnt get there. I moved on her like a bitch. Like a bitch like a bitch. This was the only time ive ever heard trump admit failure. Its also the only time he admitted hes a bitch. Definitely the funniest line in this whole tale of sexual assault. Its like if liam neeson kept farting during schindlers list. That is all going to end, you know. I moved on her very heavily. In fact, i took her out furniture shopping. I said ill show you where theres nice furniture. All this time i bought a woman dinner when all you had to do was take her ottoman shopping. Buy a loveseat and you can have sex with her. When trump wanted to decorate her interior he meant with giz. Yes, the donald is good the donald has scored yes tic tac way the go. Ive got to use some tic taces just in case i start kissing her. When the president grabs that tic tac and you hear that that, to me, is the sound of a winning candidate for president. Its like moroccos for misogyny. Im going to defend planned parenthood. Ahhhhh have a little hug for the donald. He just got off the bus. Okay, absolutely. You forget billy bush is the robin to trumps sexual predator batman. Enough, already. If you had to choose, honestly, between one of us, me or the donald. I dont know, thats tough competition. Oh, god, who would you choose . Trump or billy bush . Toughest pill ever. Who would i go on a date with, dinner, movie . Billy bush, hike, awkward date, billy bush. Full sex, the donald, but billy bush gets to watch. Thats his thing. Sorry. This was locker room talk. Im not proud of it. I apologized to my family and the american people. What does he know about locker room talk . Have you seen him . He hasnt been in a gym 50 years. I have been in the locker room. Sometimes you talk about dicks and sometimes you make your rackets collide sometimes the european guys put your foreskin over your foreskin. Nothing this good came from this video except a hat trend. Seriously, where would you grab it . Here . I dont know. I dont know where you would. Makes no sense. Trevor thanks, everybody. Well be right back. cheers and applause ah, dinner. Throughout history, the one meal when we come together, break bread, share our day and connect as a family. [ bloop, clicking ] and connect, as a family. Just, uh one second voice guy. [ bloop ] huh . Hey . I paused it. Bam, family time. So how is everyone . Find your awesome with xfinity xfi and change the way you wifi. Anybody, though. That guys a nobody. Trevor that guy became president , man. laughter no, but did you think blackish would do this well when you first conceived of it and created it . Absolutely not. I mean, theres no way i could have thought that. I was happy i even had a show on. Trevor right. I remember the night of the show, i made the mistake of getting on the internet and people were, like, three and done. Every day i get to wake up and do it im, like, wow its happening again. Trevor the First Episode that aired this week on tuesday was a musical about the first day at the end of slavery, the first day of freedom, basically. Hilarious trevor exactly. Exactly. laughter is there a momenty youre going i cant put this on Network Television . Every single day. If we dont think that, then we really dont want to do that. And were not trying to do it just to do it. Trevor right. Like the stuff that i think the reason us as a country were here right now is because for so long Political Correctness made us think, like, everythings all good, and then all of a sudden we look up and i feel like its almost like the cicadas were buried and next thing you know, its everywhere, because everybody was repressing what was inside. Were not law and order, were not trying to rip stuff from the headlines, but this is what families are talking about and we want to have the conversations because so many people who come up to me and talk about the show, they are, like, i was afraid to talk about that. Trevor thats interesting. And were much more alike than we are different as a culture and i think that when we actually talk about it, and thats the great thing about comey, is it gives you a spoonful of sugar to take down real topics. Trevor you have topics that hit home. There was an episode where anthonys character is at his ad agency and i think one of the bosses comes in, the white guy, and he goes, well, you know, black men didnt go out and vote as much as they should have, maybe you should take some of the blame for donald trump, and obviously everyone goes crazy. Right. Trevor when you wrote that, i didnt know if you knew the numbers came out that black men didnt come out and vote in numbers that they did for barack obama. Are you going to write the scene where they go back and apologize to him . That episode was called lemons. We are thinking about doing a revisiting because i feel like all the things were starting to see we thought never could happen, thats almost how you need to predict whats going to happen. Trevor right. And its just amazing to me i saw the paper towel image. Its, like, ive never seen someone at every given point, no matter what situation you put him in is going to make the wrong decision. laughter cheers and applause whatever it is you know, and somehow that led him to the presidency. I was thinking, like, literally, if he didnt follow his own advice, if he did everything he thought opposite, he probably would fall intota diamond mine. Trevor when you look at the situations that face america and how people view another human beings, a lot of it boils down to people who have never met these human beings. 100 . Trevor in a way do you think blackish has given Many Americans who watch the show a black friend . Do you know what i mean . I mean, ill take that. I mean, i feel like its so interesting that you said that they dont know you know, dont know someone. I feel like 99 of the things that happen are because we dont really try and say i understand. You know what im saying . We take someone elses opinion as our own. I have been doing panels and my only piece of advice is i say white people, dont send your kids with all white people, black people dont send your kids with all black people. Rich people dont send your kids to school with all rich people, poor people dont send your kids with all poor people. Try to geat into a situation where these people are not just ideas. I feel like we have to make an effort to really get out and know one another and have conversations. Thats one of the things the show allowed people to do is get a real peek inside of a family and sometimes things might be offensive but theyre not malicious. They may just offend your sensibilities at that moment but when youre thinking about them youre, like, i didnt know that and try to start a conversation. All were trying to do is make people talk. Trevor thank you very much. Blackish tuesdays at 9 00 p. M. On abc. Kenya barris. Well be right back cheers and applause trevor thats our show. Before we go. Lets check into Jordan Klepper over app the opposition. Whats going on, jordan . How are you doing . Not happy. Do you know about this Nobel Peace Prize thing . Trevor they announce the winner tomorrow, right . Yeah, and im not even nominated. Classic lefty backpadding. Im out there fighting for peace every single day. Trevor wow, you . Mr. Opposition . You kidding . I spread peace like warm butter on white bread. Last night i brokered a high level peace deal between my wait around myself because he didnt bring my drink out fast enough. It could have been much larger conflict but i diffused it by skipping out on my bill. Where is my prize, sweden . Trevor you truly are an opposition. Here it is, your moment of zen. Let me speak about fatherhood. I dont think theres any more important thing we do as men on this earth, outside of having a good relation with our wives, is being fathers. cheers and applause welcome back. Ive been starring at this board for 17 hours straight, and i think its all finally coming together. English novelist Kazuo Ishiguro won the nobel prize for literature. Wake me up when theres a nobel prize for shouting about the american flag. Also, the louvre has pulled an art installation because it looked like two buildings having sex. laughter laughing nah. No, it doesnt. laughter i dont see a single tear. laughter and finally, they call it the World Wide Web because were just flies caught in it, and also because google is run by spiders
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