Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central welcome to the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. I have been talking a lot about bernie and hillary and trump this week. But whats going on with jeb exclamation point . laughter time to check in on whats happening with the unblackening exclamation point on tuesday night, jeb exclamation point gave a big Foreign Policy speech focusing on the middle east. Should be interesting. Jeb is a man of the world. After all, in half of his signs, hes known as yeb. Okay. Hit me, unnecessary punctuation man. No leader or policymaker involved will claim to have gotten everything right in the region, iraq especially. Larry oh, snap jeb exclamation point is about to call out his own brother. This is like cain and abel well, its the bushes, so its more like that time niles betrayed frasier by replacing his camembert with an underwhelming brie. applause all right, this is exciting. Lets see how brutal he gets towards old w. Yet, in a long experience that includes failures of intelligence and military setbacks, one moment stands out in memory as the turning point we had all been waiting for larry . Your brother leaving office . audience reacts damn, jeb, thats cold as ice. And that was the surge of military and diplomatic operations that turned events towards victory. Larry victory . I dont, uh, remember larry revisionest history alert. History has been rewritten. Huhoh, guys. Were in danger of history being revised. Thats our revisionist history alert. What are we in for . It was a success. So why was the success of the surge followed by a withdrawal from iraq, creating the void that i. S. I. S. Moved in to fill . Where was secretary of state clinton in all of this . Larry whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa so george is gone, and its all hillarys problem now . What kind of distorted reality are you living in . This is some doc Brown Marty Mcfly time travel realness right now. Where were going, we dont need facts applause like the president himself, she had opposed the surge, then joined in claiming credit for its success. Who can seriously argue that america and our friends are safer today than in 2009 . Larry oh, you want to play the safer than game . You want the play the safer than game . Because i think most americans felt a lot safer in the Clinton Administration than the bush administration. 2009 . If youre going to drop a date ive got september 11 right here in my pocket. You want me to take it out . didnt think so. You were saying about the withdrawal from iraq, mr. Exclamation point . It was a case of blind haste to get out and call the tragic consequences somebody elses problem. Rushing away from danger can be every bit as unwise as rushing into danger. Larry no, it cant thats not a thing you dont run into a house fire and then take your time getting out. You do the thing you went in there to do save your collection of vintage pornography and you get out Everybody Knows that. So then yesterday, when jeb was asked about his iraq attack on the democratic candidate, he said this im not attacking her, bush im just pointing out that the Foreign Policy that they have implemented was one that created a more dangerous world. Yeah, im not attacking her, im just pointing out that the Foreign Policy that they have implemented was one that created a more dangerous world. This is unbelievable to me, that jeb exclamation bleep point bush actually had the gal to make it seem like this bleep in the middle east was not started by his brother. And for the record, jeb even admits he would have done it, too. On the subject of iraq, obviously very controversial, knowing what we know now, would you have authorized the invasion . I would have, and so would have Hillary Clinton, just to remind everybody. Larry no, no, no. Stop trying to drag hillary into this. Thats horrible. Basically, your brother took a big stinking dump, didnt flush applause right . Thats what its like hate to be graphic, ladies, i apologize broke the toilet, you admit you would have done the same and now youre trying to blame it on the nice lady whos deleting her emails down the hall. Thats not right. Thats not right applause this is just one of many recent examples of the right trying to revise history. I mean, i love the genre of revisionist history. In fact, right now im reading. Ronald reagan first man on the moon. Its number one on the republican nonfiction best seller list. The right is revising history all over the place. Everything from changing history books to getting rid of words like jim crow and kkk to claiming the Confederate Flag is only about heritage. But the one that may actually impact our next election is the rollback of the Voting Rights act. For 50 years, the Voting Rights act helped minorities transform the nations political landscape. The original act required seven states to get federal permission preclearance before making changes to the voting laws. The supreme courts 2013 decision eliminated that requirement. Larry this is going to be the first president ial election since 1965 with the weakened Voting Rights act. This is crazy. This election could be like the wild west. Which, by the way if youre interested in that period, you should read how Ronald Reagan won the wild west. This is excellent. This is fantastic. applause for more of my endofsummer republican revisionist reading recommendations, go to thenightlyshow. Com larrys book club. applause let me just remind us of why we have the Voting Rights act. 50 years ago, Lyndon Johnson who, ive got to say, is definitely one of my top five lyndons passed the v. R. A. , which prohibited any and all discriminatory voting policies. So no more literacy tests, no more poll tax. So whats changed . Well, in this case, theyre not so much trying to revise history as they are trying to revive history. The new rules reduced early voting from 17 days to 10, eliminated sameday registration, ended a program to preregister high school students, and banned outofprecinct voting. Larry theyre making voting harder than bill cosby at a sleep clinic. audience reacts all right . Thats right, bleep i havent foregotten about you i have not forgotten about you applause larry three more women came out against you yesterday, you sick bastard. Yep ive got a google alert set for this bleep . In fact, the only reason i did this whole piece the only reason i talked about jeb and hillary and the Voting Rights act, the only reason why i woke up this morning, showered, put my deodorant on, tied my tie, spent an hour doing my hair, the only reason why im here tonight was so i could get to that joke and call you out. And let me just say worth it. Asshole. Well be right back. cheers and applause cheers and applause who says families have to share data . These guys, thats who but at tmobile you can get four lines with up to 10 gigs of 4g lte data, each no sharing and just 30 bucks a line 10 gigs for each and every one of you well even pay your familys switching fees up to 650 bucks per line so you can get 10gigs for all, today and its only from tmobile tsometimes you want tos, roll with the tide, instead of getting pulled down. Thats why miller lite keeps you afloat with the only 96 calorie pilsner. Happy sailing. Its miller time. Pwhatve we got . 5. Bp 64 40 sterilize sites. Multiple foreign objects in the body. Tweezers. buzz buzz if youre the guy from the operation game, you get operated on. Its what you do. buzz if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Its what you do. Larry welcome back. You know, i recently heard about an intriguing new federal program thats actually getting rolled out right now. A new plan to connect more americans to the internet. The Obama Administration announcing a Pilot Program called connect home to offer free or lowcost access for people in Public Housing. The program should help 275,000 americans. U. S. Housing secretary Julian Castro joined mayor deblasio for the announcement. Larry Free Internet in Public Housing projects . so, of course, i just had to ask the nightly show contributor mike yard to look into it for a new segment were calling mike yards the y files. Lets take a look. The white house and the u. S. Department of housing and urban Development Led by possible Hillary Clinton runningmate Julian Castro wanted Free Internet in Government Housing projects. I heard free and government and i thought, hmm, i have to investigate. What exactly do you think this is . Thats a modem. When i show you a box like this, what do you see . Government. I think its a dont look at me. Dont make that mistake. Have you ever been on the internet and think, are people watching what im doing now . I havent thought about it but sounds like a good idea. Any circumstances you would be against that . Time warner. I dont like time warner. I will never buy from time warner. Theres a time warner truck over there and laughter Time Warner Cable . A billiondollar company trying to infiltrate their p. J. S . How big is this . If the government had a webcam in your apartment, what would they see . I cant tell that to the camera. Do you think they would use it as an opportunities to block porn. I dont watch porn. No porn . Thats been going down to d. C. Twhaiive doing that for years. This was driving me crazy, so i headed into the belly of the beast to confront the man once and for all. Hello. Y, secretary castro. I, mike. I need to see you, brother. All right. Where . You know where siren hey, mike. What is it this time . Hello to you, too, secretary castro. Word on the street is that you guys are putting in Free Internet here in the projects. Whats that about . What were trying to do is make sure that young people have a chance to get on the internet. The fact is that in the 21s 21st Century Global economy, access to the internet is not a luxury, its essential. You seem pretty cool. Thats because you have all the answers, isnt it . Castro seemed cool but how come he had his people sweep the area before he could talk to me . Got to be more than this. What is the sneakiest thing you guys are seeing happening in the projects . Spying. On somebodys phone . Holy thats bigger than i thought. This is a huge web of illuminat icon spiersy. No conspiracy at all. His words say no but his sweat glands say hell yeah hes about to bring this whole thing tumbling down. One of the kids said they saw somebody with an illuninati symbol on their phone. No, but i stay moon turn red one time. In a movie . No, for real. When they faked the moon landing, did they shoot it in l. A. Or new york . They didnt fake the moon landing. Really . All right. I guess were done here. Porn, the moon, time warner, illuminati, that stern little boy it all comes down to this. No thanks, government, ill get my Free Internet the Old Fashioned way, steal it from my neighbors cheers and applause larry thanks, mike summer bucket list 49 play ball. The crisp, refreshing taste of bud light. The perfect beer for checking off your summer bucket list. Ranking from top to bottom. Car company of the year . Luxury cars just seem like they would be top awarded. Yeah. There better be some awards behind what you are paying for right . The final answer. Chevrolet is the most awarded car company of the year. Really . I was just surprised. Im interested to learn more about chevy. Lets check out these 2015 chevys. Its like a luxury car. I was shocked. I mean, this is chevy . Feget up to 48 months thrinterestfree financingain, on tempurpedic. Save hundreds on beautyrest. Or choose 300 in free gifts with stearns foster. The triple choice sale ends sunday at sleep train. cheers and applause larry welcome back im here with my panel the nightly show contributor mike yard. cheers and applause comedian and host of n. P. R. s ask me another, ophira eisenberg. cheers and applause and he currently costars in the drama public morals, premiering tuesday august 25 at 10 00 p. M. On tnt, michael rapaport. cheers and applause all right, lets jump right in. I want to talk about Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders. This particular phenomenon in the democratic race. It really is amazing i would have never guessed he would be beating hillary in the New Hampshire polls now. Hes drawing 28,000 people to the rallies while hillary has 5 to 6,000. Clinton vs. Sanders. Why do you think there is so much passion for bernie and none for hillary now . I think its like a grateful dead concert and its the hip thing the do. Larry the sanders . The sanders. Hillary needs to hip things up, but bernie is like going to the grateful dead concert, the young people and the old my opinionies, theyre all smoking weed and exchanging drugs laughter larry all the young people exchanging drugs . Trust me, i know this. I know this. Im hearing it from both sides. He plays right into the hipster culture. He is artisanal, small batch, community garden. Hes, like, hey, kids, want to get together and build a bridge . Theyre, like, yeah, we do thats hilarious. Larry but it also seems to me theyre going for bernie with the same kind of enthusiasm that the young people were going for obama in 2008. I would be worried about it in the bernie camp. Shes going to turn it up, bill will come in with the blueeyed swagger and shell be back. I met bill clinton and the charm was real. You could see this guy larry no no, it was good. He never left the eye contact. But it was because of the blue eyes. Theyre so Larry Hillary no, theyre not piercing blue eyes. Im just saying laughter and if he could do it to me. Larry i get that. Bernie sanders just picked up an endorsement from rapper lil b. I know him. Larry he was a huge hillary supporter. Now hillarys losing the rapper vote unbelievable listen, you got to use that word air quotes. Not everybodys a rapper just because they say theyre rappers. The lil b. Hey, hey. Im just saying ill back him up. Ive never heard lil b. Just because it rhymes doesnt men its rap. laughter larry do you think young people really care about Hillary Clinton . To me, it feels like i dont know if shes the first lady, secretary of state, i dont know how much that means anymore. No, i feel like she would have to get them to vote for her by swiping right or Something Like that. I feel like shes disconnected to them. Larry why . Because shes not authentic. Shes kind of stern like the aunt that comes over thats weird at your dinner, that has weird chocolate in your bag thats, like, you will like me if you eat this and youre, like, hey, this guys got a v. W. Bug and hes doing pottery larry promise them drugs and hillary comes off like the principal, you know what i mean . And when you see the principal, you know, she cares about you but youre kind of nervous when she comes around. You see the principal in the hallway, its, like, oh, bleep , principal clinton, lets get the bleep out of here. And bernie is like the cool tshirt you see him in the hall and its like, whats up, Bernie Sanders hes like, i dig the album you recommended. Larry mr. Sanders, what do you have for homework tonight . Its free tuition for everybody cheers and applause she comes off like a politician. Young folks dont like politicians o. Young folks want you to be authentic. Larry young people dont like politicians, they may get what they want this year. I hope its not trump. That is real. You think thats real . Look how far hes gotten. My mans got a strong, oldschool slaveowner mentality, and hes not holding back hes not lying. Told the latinos, youre this, that and this and youre going to vote for me thats slave owner 101, and people are like keep going i think hes a hiphop artist. laughter larry you have lil b. You have trump. B. Trump. Hes like a thug from the 80s that would take over blocks in harlem. And his piercing eyes. Yeah. Larry so we really let me ask you, whats happening with the what can movement and Bernie Sanders . Like, theres a black lives Matter Movement. There seems to be something with sanders and the movement. I feel like theyre coming around. Those women took the mic from him but hes also, like, yeah, let them talk. I think thats great. Hes done some protests. Hes done some sitins and marches. I think the black lives Matter Movement is not going to wait for democrats or republicans to get it done, theyre just going to do it. applause Bernie Sanders is cool like bernie mac laughter larry all right, well be right back cheers and applause if you live in the new york city area, grab free tickets to the upcoming taping of the nightly show attention america. Get yourself a free half gallon of dole classic lemonade with any 10 piece meal or larger purchase. Because when you buy this chicken, theres free lemonade for the pickin. Its Finger Lickin good. Who says families have to share data . These guys, thats who but at tmobile you can get four lines with up to 10 gigs of 4g lte data, each no sharing and just 30 bucks a line 10 gigs for each and every one of you well even pay your familys switching fees up to 650 bucks per line so you can get 10gigs for all, today and its only from tmobile tsometimes you want tos, roll with the tide, instead of getting pulled down. Thats why miller lite keeps you afloat with the only 96 calorie pilsner. Happy sailing. Its miller time. Cheesy bites with new ranch crust flavor cheesy bites pizza is back and sweeten it up with a hersheys triple chocolate brownie for just 5. 99. Only at pizza hut. Its time to bid farewell. To this booking incredible island resort. And its incredible island staff. father i cant imagine life without them. This is not goodbye. Yes, it is. father no, it isnt. Ok, i guess its not. You got it booking right. Booking. Com booking. Yeah cheers and applause larry thats our show i want to thank our panelists mike yard, ophira eisenberg, and michael rapaport. Goodnightly, everyone cheers and applause chris its 11q59 and 59 seconds, this happened on general mills. Com today, since is with a kid wheaties stood for health, fitness and an active lifestyle. And to that theyre saying [bleep] it, because now theyre making beer, wheaties beer cheers and applause chris there it is. Yeah. But fe hefewheaties will soon be available at a sad dysfunctional breakfast table near you. The cereal always had athletes on a, bo. Im sure t
comparemela.com © 2020. All Rights Reserved.